Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 So at local grocery chain called Stop & Shop up here in Fake England, their Self Service registers let the entirety of the tri-state area know every bit of what you are doing, especially when prompted to "FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE PIN PAD." But today I grabbed lunch at Shaw's. Now, it was five after twelve, so it was deserted aside from one person. Keep in mind, all of these self checkout stations have motion detectors to let it know someone is approaching, and then asks you to scan your first item. Well, due to the little square of about ten registers being empty, as I walked in (and stayed close to the right), nine of them simultaneously bellowed out, "Welcome. Please scan your first item." It was like I walked through the gates of Grocery hell and was immediately dealt the final boss, a complicated army of self checkout machines, which only could communicate via their programmed phrases but they knew you were about to not place an item in the bagging area and they were going to light you ablaze with their lasers. 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimmod_Luna Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, Athena 92 said: PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE I have horrible luck with electronics, including these things. To a point that I completely broke one at Home Depot for buying about $6 in electrical supplies. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Get a recording of the "boop" made when you scan something on a loop and run it when you walk among them again. See if the supervisor reacts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimmod_Luna Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 17 minutes ago, Rogue_Alphonse said: PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE I have horrible luck with electronics, including these things. To a point that I completely broke one at Home Depot for buying about $6 in electrical supplies. I usually have good enough luck with them The thing that gets me is, the Giant Eagles will flag certain items as "too heavy" to be bagged so if you place them in the bagging area it will freak out and tell you to put it in the cart. For whatever reason, some brands of 12 packs of pop are marked as needing to be left in the cart and some will need to be in the bagging area. I'll go buy 3 12-packs and place the first 2 in the cart after scanning, then get yelled at when I try to put the 3rd in the cart because that one needs to be placed in the bagging area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapinator_X Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 I have a little bit of an ASMR tingle whenever the voice of the Costco/BJ’s self-checkout says the word “nine”. There’s too much emphasis on the word “nine” for it to be a coincidence. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Regular self checkouts are important to your health. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helpme Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, tsar4 said: Get a recording of the "boop" made when you scan something on a loop and run it when you walk among them again. See if the supervisor reacts. You're one of those assholes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 58 minutes ago, SwimModSponges said: Regular self checkouts are important to your health. I actually kind of prefer a regular register. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lytbryt Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Athena 92 said: PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. Did u need to adjust the bag or the item? Please remove the unscanned item from the bagging area Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ITasteLikeSex Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 BOOP 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyaos Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 (edited) Those things make buying beer a pain in the ass, even when the attendant comes over and says I'm of legal age. One machine at a nearby Kroger refused to believe that I was over the age of 21 even after the attendant confirmed it. I wish my interactions with them were as funny as your story. I'd rather deal with a person. Edited January 16, 2020 by Gyaos 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Lytbryt said: Did u need to adjust the bag or the item? Please remove the unscanned item from the bagging area Sometimes it'll ask me to place the item in the bagging area (if it's light like yogurt) so I just press down on the shit with my hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 36 minutes ago, Gyaos said: Those things make buying beer a pain in the ass, even when the attendant comes over and says I'm of legal age. One machine at a nearby Kroger refused to believe that I was over the age of 21 even after the attendant confirmed it. I wish my interactions with them were as funny as your story. I'd rather deal with a person. If I get beer or spraypaint or anything 18+ I go right to a person because of that shit lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lytbryt Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 51 minutes ago, ITasteLikeSex said: BOOP BEEP 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 I'd rather deal with them than the human fuckers at the registers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avec Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Rogue_Alphonse said: I actually kind of prefer a regular register. "Time to register your balls" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 25 minutes ago, avec said: "Time to register your balls" >.> register them to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avec Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 8 minutes ago, Rogue_Alphonse said: >.> register them to you? 3 hours ago, SwimModSponges said: Regular self checkouts are important to your health. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Teddybar Gut Fullung Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 3 hours ago, SwimModSponges said: Regular self checkouts are important to your health. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberbully Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 I like when it takes my money and then gives money back but less of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, avec said: ... I need one of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seight Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 *places item on the scanner* "I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave." 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Seight said: *places item on the scanner* "I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave." Ironically HAL comes from IBM and I think IBM makes those lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 28 minutes ago, Rogue_Alphonse said: Ironically HAL comes from IBM and I think IBM makes those lmao While IBM provided tech assistance, in the story is that HAL 9000 was created at the University of Illinois. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue_Alphonse Posted January 16, 2020 Author Share Posted January 16, 2020 3 hours ago, tsar4 said: While IBM provided tech assistance, in the story is that HAL 9000 was created at the University of Illinois. H-I A-B L-M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Rogue_Alphonse said: H-I A-B L-M Which the author stated was a coincidence and would have been changed if they'd spotted it sooner. HAL wasn't the original name for the computer either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helpme Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 17 hours ago, Quackers said: shut up ur dumb haha Go fuck the walrus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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