Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

[Ginguy]

So, I guess Moose got nuked. Kinda sad, he was alright when he wasn't making threats against people or being generally crazy.

 

Edit: Cause I feel bad for not contributing something Toonami/Anime related....

 

 

[Blatch]

It's pretty unfortunate that the new season of Samurai Jack airing tonight has been dethroned by our collective sadness (except for Jman's) of One Piece leaving.

[CAC]

It sucks that it's gone, I love OP, but I can understand it.

 

I'm already years past where Toonami is with it so I had no reason to watch it there, as I'm sure lots of others are the same. So  can see why bringing in something else to draw in more people would happen.

[Ginguy]

I'm kind of the same way, I watch the simul-sub on Yahoo View for free, there is also Croll and Funi to see it. I do the same with Naruto, and might with Boruto as well.

 

[CAC]

Boruto as well.

 

I think I'll actually give Boruto a chance, but not sure yet.

[Top Gun]

I'm current with the Japanese broadcasts too, but it was still fun getting to watch the dub and having it be part of the block.  And yeah I own the DVDs through--I guess most of Marineford?  lord knows--but I usually find it way easier to watch stuff when I have an external motivator like a weekly broadcast to prod me along.  I'm pretty much drowning in a backlog of disks as-is. 

[CAC]

Maybe that's part of why I don't buy dvds, I'd never get around to actually watching them.

[EmpressAngel]

 

NICE

[Top Gun]

Maybe that's part of why I don't buy dvds, I'd never get around to actually watching them.

Honestly at this point I'm more buying them to have them than anything else.  I do have the vain hope that at some point I'll be working somewhere that I feel awake enough in the evenings to actually do stuff.

[CAC]

I know I never feel awake enough in the evenings during the week.

 

Also that new SJ ep, awesome.

[BUU8800]

For the record I did watch the new Jack, and will continue to. It was good, but I don't really intend to give in-depth/jokey responses regarding it like I do with the anime shows. This'll probably be the last I mention it until the finale. So with that out of the way...

 

JoJo

Caesar's flashback...that's fairly ominous. And he's fighting an invisible Wamu! Oh no! Not Mustache Guy! Wamu's air vs Caesar's bubbles takin' all bets! Damnit Caesar don't go in the house alone! It's Mustache Guy! Is he alive or...oh hey JoJo! Lisa Lisa! Nice to see ya. Well Caesar's got the badass grin down if nothing else. Visually this fight's a lot like if Kagura from Inuyasha fought Byakuya from Bleach. Oh hey, tiny light emitting Saturn bubbles! And...that's not good. Oh no that's not good. Damnit Caesar...well at least he got the nose ring. And crushed by a cross. Nothing religious about that I'm sure. As touching as JoJo and Lisa Lisa weeping at the end is Caesar's death still felt absurdly quick and easily preventable. Like Caesar suddenly remembered he had to die late last episode and began acting much more rashly than usual. But I dunno maybe that's just me. Either way he's gone, which sucks. Oh, and Mustache Guy, that sucks too I guess. Will we get a tag-team match next as promised?

 

Gundam

Damnit, Marida really got fucked over saving fatty after all. That's really all I cared about. That aside it was walkin' through the desert and drinkin' diner coffee: the episode.

 

Hunter

Oh hey! Leorio's back! And he's good at haggling! "Leorio did you learn Nen?" "You bet, but I'm not important enough so it was off-screened." Or wait...did he? Apparently not. Holy shit, Killua's brother left the house! Alert the army! More Kurapika setup and...hey! Street diamond money making! Nice thinking Leorio! Reminds me of when Goku and Buu made money in a similar fashion. Gon's a pretty good seller too. Uh oh, a Phantom Troupe member! And Gon barely won against her weaker arm? You know, that humming song during Hisoka's scene is pretty catchy. Princess throwing her promised tantrum, meanwhile Kurapika and Beaver Girl laying it all out. Admittedly her backstory was interesting. Very curious to see her original appearance. Welp, it's nearly showtime. To quote Heath Ledger's Joker "And here we...go!"

 

[EmpressAngel]

WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS, SHOW

 

Jack- I feel like a kid again only this time I have an amazing rack. Oh this is depressing. Who's this guy is that Jack. I do enjoy seeing those bugbots get destroyed. IT'S JACK AND HE'S GOT A COOL BEARD. Poor Jack come here let me hug you. Well this is an uncomfortable maternity ward. Aku's broodmare seems like a pretty rough career path, lady. I'm digging that Mad Max look he's got going on. Oh that's a punch right to the gut. And then nightmares forever. Mmmm, fried rat. For the love of god somebody hug Jack. Poor kids this cult seems like a bad idea. Run away, little girl! Fuck you lady, I'm that kid's mother now. Leave my daughter alone she's doing her best. So did Aku fuck that lady or what. Robot ninja! Oh god he sounds like Snagglepuss. Okay I like this robot guy. WHIP IT OUT! Ohhhh that is not a good thing. Sweet flute, bro. Kick his ass, Jack! Jack might need some therapy. RIP flute. Oh my god I'm cracking up. I want him to fight Brook. Don't fuck with Jack. Look at my girl go I'm so proud of her. I can't stop smiling.

 

Jojo- I will be absolutely floored if Caesar makes it out of this tragic backstory episode alive. Dang Caesar's dad was hot. Wow that's depressing as shit. I love how dudes in this show rip their clothes off when they get mad. WRENCH FIGHT. Oh shit it's the pillar men. So then, all of this was Caesar's fault. Okay so what happened to his siblings? Well I was already comforting Joseph after last week but shit, you can put your face in my boobs too. Someone give that boy a hug. Awwww they're friends. Oh this can't be good. What the fuck is that. I love this narrator. Fuck you, Wammu. Whelp so much for that guy. Wow what a shock this was a trap. Jojo's staying the hell out of this, in the smartest move he's ever made. Yeah sure that sounds like science. Good luck, buddy. FUCK YEAH, CAESAR. This is going surprisingly well-aww fuck I spoke too soon. HEY KOOL-AID MAN. Ohhhh you are walking right into a fucking trap, my dude. Oh hey that guy's not dead. Hey look, an arm. I got a real bad feeling about this. Yeah sure this sounds like more science. DISCO MUSCLE BUBBLES. Oh goddammit Caesar you're fucked. I make a couple jokes about banging a dude and the grim reaper strolls in to fuck up the day, it's like clockwork. Caesarino you should really get out of there. STAIRS. Caesar no, just run. Aww he grabbed the ring for Jojo. Aaaaaand I'm crying. Hey guys maybe you could do something instead of standing outside. Eww blood bubble. DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT BUBBLE, YOU FUCKER. I hope your life is only like two more days you piece of shit. Congratulations Jojo I'm pretty sure in some cultures this means you're married. Poor baby come here put your face in my boobs and we'll cry together. Meanwhile nobody gives a shit about that other guy who died. Come here Lisa Lisa let me hug you and we'll cry together. Ohhh fuck you, show. Joseph's so buff my curse bounced right off those pecs and took out the next hottest thing. Hold me in those incredible goddamn arms while I weep, Jojo. :(

 

Gundam- Yeah I was too busy crying to pay much attention to the first half of this. I don't like this blond kid's odds. Every week I think that lady died and I keep being proven wrong. This was a real bad week to throw an episode with like 80% conversations at me. Meanwhile, Benedryl sucks and fails.

 

Hunter- Aw crap they took out that explanation intro and I'm too dumb to remember it. Spend all your money! I use my phone almost entirely for crappy games and porn. Hiiii hot idiot! I'll taste you, baby. Youuuu beautiful moron. Ask the idiot to whore himself out for your money. Haaa the Google knockoff. Meanwhile, weeb time. Oh is it their sexy dad again? FUCK THE AUCTIONEER, HOT MAN. I'm pretty sure Boobs won't have any trouble making friends. Gon is so cute I love him. I'm surprised Gon didn't break the damn table. I'm sure Gon could do a couple hundred thousand rounds. This girl's gonna kick his ass. That went surprisingly well. My left hand is also incredibly strong from jerkin' it to Jojo. Go away Hisoka nobody likes you. Mole girl is nice I like her. PLAY FREEBIRD. I'm already cursed lemme hear it. Wow that was a rough day. Hug that mole girl.

 

Naruto- Man, it really doesn't end well whenever Caesar's family hangs out with the Joestars.

 

One Piece- Nope, not even its imminent retirement could get me to watch Foxy filler.

[Blatch]

Considering the addition of some longtime ASMB users to Unevenedge this week, as well as the general fervor regarding a particular classic show, I think I'll go back to the past myself in the only way I know how: By ranking my favorite shows of the week! Drumroll please...

1. [*]

Samurai Jack: An utterly epic return to form for one of the all-time great American action cartoons. This episode pretty much affirmed what I thought the new season would be like: There are some more adult themes (like evil prostitution) and they can show blood now, but other than that it's the same Jack we came to know and love. And goddamnit, the visuals, cinematography, and general show composition were all-around great. And I mostly love all the new weapons Jack has to kill the bad guys with. I can't wait for the next episode where he whips out a fucking machine gun and goes all ham on those evil lady warriors.

[*]JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: A pretty good episode with some top notch fighting techniques. Also, the Narrator felt extra smarmy in this one, almost making him feel like a character all his own. I wasn't really sad about Caesar's death, but I heard some people say it was too over the top to be effective. But I don't usually cry at TV shows, so I have no opinion on that.

[*]Ghost in the Shell: I didn't have to watch the last episode to follow the story for this one, which is always nice. A good one overall with great animation, brutal salaryman fisticuffs, and invisible Tachikomas. And one thing I find interesting about the Laughing Man plot is that parts of it resemble today's fake news. I mean, there's this baseless message about how an important dude will be assassinated, and yet people see it, decide Pizzagate-style that it's somehow a good idea, and end up turning it into real life. Not a bad prescient message for a medium tailor-made to be escapist entertainment.

[*]One Piece: Its penultimate episode of the Toonami Swim run was decent. Like GiTS, I got acquainted to the story pretty quickly despite skipping last week's affair... though I feel like this was just an excuse to have the Straw Hats do awesome shit and occasionally show pretty rainbows.

[*]Hunter x Hunter: I feel like a lot of this show is having the canon material be like filler in other shows. This episode felt like it especially. Aside from Leorio returning, we got a dull but rather amusing subplot of Gon arm-wrestling people for money. Sadly, I zoned out of this one within the last five minutes (because I was thinking about the anime listed down below) so I didn't catch Melody's monologue. But I did hear that she apparently knows an evil song... so I guess it wasn't just one fellow shonen which ripped this one off, because Fairy Tail used it as a plot device.

[*]Gundam Unicorn: Great fighting and animation in the first five minutes, but the rest of it lost me. All I remember is that the girl was apparently in an evil simulation.

[*]Dragon Ball Z Kai: Meh. Just meh.

[*]Dragon Ball Super: Not good at all. This BoG-copy opening arc has been going horrendously slow, with only minor moments of fun. But it's what I own the Blu-ray of that movie for. 

Instead of watching Naruto: Shippuden, I tuned in to Kemono Friends, the anime which has somehow taken up the mantle Yuri!!! On ICE had of being Japan's most talked about anime. After two episodes, I think I know why that is... but it ain't for any unique reasons. Basically, it's after the apocalypse with animal girls, and Serval is very cute. Moving on.

 

And for a stray observation, did anyone notice that the Bob Eubanks anti-tax commercial aired at the same spot of every hour, at around :29 of the hour, even coming after Samurai Jack? It would often be followed by a Gerber Life commercial. One can only wonder how high the advertising rates they paid for were.

[PokeNirvash]

Local commercials tend to vary from place to place, and I don't think Columbus gives enough of a shit about Bob Eubanks to advertise his personal beliefs every half hour.

 

Of course these creepy Devour commercials would sponsor Family Guy…

 

SAMURAI JACK

I actually put down my laptop to watch this episode, and I have to say, I am impressed. This episode had a lot of the things I like in a show – top tier visual direction, psychological drama, masked female characters, a TV-14V content rating – and I’ll also admit, Scaramouch was a pretty fun one-time villain. (Was anyone else getting a gay vibe off of him?) Jack stealing his weapon after offing him was pretty hardcore. My only complaints? Grey Delisle no longer being credited by her maiden name, and the next episode promo telegraphing a certain something pretty hard. But hey, it was an awesome and captivating nostalgia trip nonetheless, and the bowl of French Toast Crunch I partially finished while watching it only made the experience even more nostalgic. This is gonna be one hell of a ride, this final season.

 

Oh my god they’re not seriously gonna make Life an “Earth gets destroyed” movie are they. :::

 

DRAGONBALL SUPER

I fucking love that they’re using Runner’s Renewal” as the DB Super bump tune. Loved that song since the IGPX recap/previews.

People claim that Super Saiyan God is just a dye job, but they clearly don’t see the slight tan to his skin.

“Besides the glowing, it looks like he’s in his regular Saiyan form.” Goddammit Krillin can’t you see his magenta hair?

Calm down, Kai.

Heh, He’s using Goku’s sweatrag and he doesn’t care.

For fuck’s sake Elder, he was talking to his pets not you, you senile fuck. (Huh, where’d that come from?)

If he’s doing the Kamehameha as a Super Saiyan God, wouldn’t it be more fitting to call it a Kamihameha?

Vegeta says shut up.

Speaking of which, shut up Goten.

Piccolo’s the only one who cares.

I dislike media where the Earth gets destroyed, as you can tell from the commercial quip above, so yeah, I’m rooting for Goku here.

Why is it that the fight scenes have the lowest potential for amusing quips?

HOLY SHIT I SAW THE SANDWORM!

Alright, he’s getting slightly better at this sort of thing.

To the Airplane!

Everyone else is just standing down there because they don’t really care.

Or maybe it’s some weird-looking spacecraft instead.

These fools have no idea that the Dragonballs just got used do they.

And so the worst characters meet the best.

SUCKERPUNCHED.

Vegeta likes that Goku’s playing dirty now.

I’m starting to think Krillin’s kid is brain-damaged, or at least doesn’t care as much as she should.

Whis truly is the best DB character.

Welp, there go a million people.

Please Kai, calm the fuck down.

Okay, that was a good move exchange.

Is… he flipping Beerus off?

“Now the real battle of gods begins!” A title drop for a completely different piece of media.

Heh, “almost”. :-D

TOP BILLING: Goku. Also, Trunks still does not deserve the second highest placement. >(

 

DRAGONBALL Z KAI

Goku and Krillin are the only ones that are impressed, apparently.

DISASTER: AVERTED.

You pronounced “Kamehameha” wrong!

Those aren’t meteors, you idiots.

FULL NELSON!

Hey, if there’s no rule that doesn’t ban flying, I say allow it!

The Super Saiyan is real!

I love you Mr. Satan, no homo.

“I can beat you… with one hand.” “Uh… Me too!”

It’s just something you have to see to believe, apparently.

The answer there is simple: Goten’s just a fast learner.

Noob? Seriously?

18’s just here to look pretty.

OUT OF BOOOOOOOOOOUNDS!

Videl’s hair is literally standing on end.

Dammit Roshi don’t be a pervert this episode doesn’t have a D subrating y’know.

Finally Vegeta beat Goku at something.

Mr. Satan is the unluckiest guy.

I’d trust you in your claim that it’s great, were the video game scenes not so weird and out of place. I mean, what the actual hell?

Gohan, you might wanna dial down on the “wacky”.

HERE COME DA CHAMP.

Why do I keep not recognizing Yamcha!?

You have way too much faith in your old man, Videl.

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ::spin::

[insert random interruption from my home phone here]

MR. SATAN used CHARLEY HORSE! IT’S SOMEWHAT EFFECTIVE!

[insert second random interruption from my home phone here]

Oh, this is gonna end badly. :

And what a nudge it was.

Yeahhhhhh there’s no way this fight’s gonna continue.

TOP BILLING: Yeah fuck that noise.

 

Beerus, you a busta.

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

The first time I watched this episode, it was with my uncle during our Friday watches of JoJo and Is This a Zombie? Following up the first of three OVA episodes of the latter with this episode of the former practically defines “mood whiplash”. Furthermore, I was expecting Caesar to die because I just love spoiling myself for some reason, but I wasn’t expecting him to die this early. Still, that whole scene at the end was done perfectly. Joseph and Lisa Lisa agreeing to save mourning Caesar for after they defeat the Pillar Men, only to break down into tears and mourn right then and there once they see where under that symbolic-looking chunk of ceiling he was crushed, was truly heartbreaking. I came pretty close to tearing up there too, the first time. And this time, I actually did it. The tears weren’t as heavy or as free-flowing as Joseph’s and Lisa Lisa’s, but they were definitely there. Truly Caesar was Bryce Papenbrook’s best role, even with the Italian accent. He will be missed. :'(

SCREENCAPS: The Zeppeli Clan and the best battle couple.

 

This is Gaston’s face after learning they made Lefou gay for the live-action remake.

 

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM UNICORN RE:0096

Daguza’s death was an awesome one. Gilboa’s… not so much.

If there’s one thing to be certain of about this show, it’s that the OP is damn good, even with that one line about hurting yourself with knives.

And here, uneducated children, is a flashback to the time Sydney got destroyed via colony drop.

Those Zakus really look primitive compared to the more humanoid Mobile Suits.

Look, it’s Bright Noa! Inventor of the namesake slap.

So much for your revenge plan, girl.

I unironically love episode titles displayed on a black screen.

Because government workers are the only casualties that matter.

That is one unattractive woman. Well, save for her rack, she is.

Well, at least Audrey gets her own room. [enter Riddhe] At least, she did.

“It’s my family… It turns out they suck!”

And she’s triggering Marida, that bitch!

They’re bidding a tearful farewell to One Piece now, so that when if and when it returns, it’ll come off as a true Christmas miracle than if they were announcing it taking a temporary leave of absence. Still, that was an awesome farewell music video.

And then that one guy went from sounding like Goku to sounding like Franky.

Wait, so that Garciere (sp?) ship was that huge green one? Why the hell didn’t Wikipedia tell me that in the episode descriptions!? >(

I think I’m just gonna blame Full Frontal for this one.

Woohoo, American diners!

Fuck yeah, cinematography.

This is a really nice scene, between both the conversation and the direction.

It was worth running away, just to get the best cup of coffee on the planet. Kinda like that one guy who traveled the stars in search of some good chicken.

FUCK YOU UGGO.

[banshee scream]

From that day forth, he was known as… Banagher of Arabia.

That kid could really use a Brightslap.

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

Last Friday, when I was talking with my uncle (the same one I mentioned above) about last week’s HxH, he thought that Illumi was the leader of the Phantom Troupe. He didn’t readily buy my correct claim that he wasn’t.

Aw yeah, bazaar time.

ONE TRILLION DOLLARS~. [holds pinky to corner of mouth a la Dr. Evil]

Oh hi, Leorio! You sound slightly different.

Highway robbery.

Applaud this man!

Huh, so Leorio took the second exam after all. :-D

Or maybe he just got the hang of Ten.

Time to take on some odd jobs!

I saw Leorio’s silhouette under Emitters in that one cold open, so I’d say no on that.

Guess my one online friend was right about reverse-engineering the game perfectly being impossible.

What’s that weird echo?

Geez, now that is what a slob looks like.

Oh my god what a shut-in.

Huh, never heard of that type of auction before.

That grin concerns me.

Whatever’s about to happen at that auction, I am ready. At least, I think…

Time for the conditional auctioning!

This first opponent looks like Tonpa’s taller younger brother. Must be the nose.

So Gon’s sweating not so much out of exhaustion, as he is out of guilt.

Oh hey it’s the cute glasses girl from the Phantom Troupe, a.k.a. mai back-up HxH waifu. <3

It’s intense, but I know Daos is gonna make it sound less so through simplicity.

Meanwhile, tantrums.

A hot-air balloon. How subtle. :

“Dammit, I was supposed to take the jokers out of the deck…”

Looks like the unpleasantness is over. For now…

In which Kurapika comes clean about his heritage.

Neat, so they have Music Hunters too.

So she’s looking for the elusive Brown Noise.

IT’S AUCTION TIME MOTHERFUCKERS.

I still wanna know who that guy talking with Leorio in the ED is.

 

Well, if the murder games are limited to just 80 people in an abandoned building in South America… I guess I have no reason to complain.

 

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

FUCK YEAH FULL OPENING TIME.

Welp, Naruto’s definitely gonna regret falling for that one.

I still barely remember what happened last episode.

Turns out the old man was Shiranami all along. I should’ve seen that coming, and yet I didn’t. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“He said he had to go.” Did he happen to be clutching his stomach in pain when he did?

STUPID QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What does “deremption” mean? Did he actually mean to say “redemption” instead?

Wasn’t your father’s name “Hato”? Or am I thinking of somebody else?

I can only wonder how much B.S. he’s feeding her.

Sai’s vagina bones are too distracting. owo

Fly, pigeon, fly!

Thanks for saving the pigeon, Utakata. You can never trust those sentinent kanji characters, not since… the incident.

VOCAL ENGLISH TRANSLATION NO JUTSU.

“He doesn’t even know that Shiranami is our boss!” But now he does, ya idjit.

Huh, didn’t expect Naruto to actually use the Nine-Tails’ chakra to his advantage there. Considering he refused to do so two fillers ago…

FUCK YEAH UTAKATA.

That chakra looked really strange just now!

I’ll be honest, I’d have lost it if he had them come out by going up to the village bell and scream something about a huge fire.

If their eyes are all white, you gonna feel that bite! Bullhorn.

Patricide. It’s always patricide.

Let it forever be said that Spandam can go fuck himself. Should be easy, given that his back’s broken and shit.

Thank god Utakata’s here to make up the lesser half of Naruto’s brain power.

If it wasn’t for Jiraiya, Naruto wouldn’t be as strong as he is now. Then again, the same could be said if Orochimaru hadn’t put that seal on his stomach either.

Remember the gay frog? Well, you do now.

He came back alive from that mission, that should be worthy enough of thanks.

Oh hey, I was right on the money there! ;D

When you’ve had a man inside you, your life changes forever.

“…or the village turned a blind eye to them.” Well they did look pretty blind, the last time I saw them.

It’s a red ball! I suggest you kick it.

Paper bombs: nature’s surprise.

I’d say those kanji should hint at their being brainwashed quite reasonably.

BACKUP HAS ARRIVED.

Naruto’s lucky Sakura was holding back with that one.

And she force-fed Sai one of her special food pills, she’s actually pretty decent this episode.

Thank god for barrier jutsu.

They’re just possessed villagers, it’s nothing those three can’t handle by themselves.

 

ONE PIECE

“You want One Piece? Then get it while you still can!”

TOP BILLING: Rina.

I forgot to mention, last episode had some pretty good animation. But it had Foxy, so of course it wasn’t mentioned.

“I learned this trick from watching Excel Saga.”

Looks like someone fucked up the episode title this time.

I had a feeling that spa owner and Foxy were in cahoots. Like I said, those glasses look awfully similar to a Foxy Pirates mask! Too similar to be mere coincidence!

GRATUITOUS BREAST BOUNCE.

Usopp, I think the gigantic X is supposed to be symbolic. ::HMM::

That’s… actually a pretty reasonable plan, Luffy, great job.

SUUUUUUPEEEEEEER!

“This is why we can’t have nice things.” Nami, on Moose’s epic meltdown.

Ain’t Usopp a stinker?

Even Brook’s getting in on the ass-kicking! [double thumbs up]

Oh shit, it’s a giant cannon!

Welp, we found Sayo, that takes care of one part of the plan. Problem is, someone has to get her out of that cannon’s way.

Dude, they’re the fucking Straw Hats, they don’t care about what you think.

Filler villains are always the most cartoonishly evil.

And then the cake got moldy and they had to throw it out.

Hey, at least he acknowledged the cake.

“This conversation is theirs to have, not ours.”

Truly Sayo was his favorite child.

Of course Foxy and the others were chasing him.

Turns out the treasure was in the notebook all along.

YOU GOTTA BELIEVE~.

Five-leaf clovers are impressive, yes, but they ain’t no seven-leaf clovers.

The more I see these GITS commercials, the more I start to wonder: what if the Major is fighting against the system not out of revenge for turning her into a cyborg, but the desire to live her own life as one instead of the one chosen by her supposed saviors?

I’M ON A REINDEER.

“Where the hell did you come from?” “Dunno, I was never good with directions.”

Brook, you’re wonderful.

ACTIVATING STEAMPUNK MODE.

Wow, skipping past Second Gear and straight to Third, are we?

NAOKI TATE SAKUGA SPOTTED.

“Get ready for my giant ass?”

It’s funny when Foxy gets screwed over.

LUFFY SMASH!

Hopefully the sea raccoon can turn into some sort of flotation device.

Huh, guess the giant X wasn’t so metaphorical after all.

Turns out it was Sanji to the rescue instead.

Awesome, a rainbow ring!

“I don’t know what it means, but I like it!” Well said, Luffy.

Yeah, Foxy and crew don’t like what this entails.

Backwards or not, it’s still beautiful.

IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US!

Huh, so they made the gem after all!

Sweet, more candy rain. [ya get it?]

 

GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX

So apparently Nanao and Daido both getting shot no longer count as intense violence. Alrighty then… Content ratings B.S. aside, I think I’m more invested in the Laughing Man arc of this show than I ever was the several times I attempted to rewatch SAC in the past. Guess that’s the sort of thing that comes with being a month and a half away from graduating college. If you don’t count grad school, that is. Oh, and “stand alone complex” should be the new name for memes. It sounds so much more flattering.

 

[and less stupid too]

[DragonSinger]

Considering the addition of some longtime ASMB users to Unevenedge this week, as well as the general fervor regarding a particular classic show, I think I'll go back to the past myself in the only way I know how... by ranking my favorite shows of the week! Drumroll please...

1. [*]

Samurai Jack: An utterly epic return to form for one of the all-time great American action cartoons. This episode pretty much affirmed what I thought the new season would be like: There are some more adult themes (like evil prostitution) and they can show blood now, but other than that it's the same Jack we came to know and love. And goddamnit, the visuals, cinematography, and general show composition were all-around great. And I mostly love all the new weapons Jack has to kill the bad guys with. I can't wait for the next episode where he whips out a fucking machine gun and goes all ham on those evil lady warriors.

[*]JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: A pretty good episode with some top notch fighting techniques. Also, the Narrator felt extra smarmy in this one, almost making him feel like a character all his own. I wasn't really sad about Caesar's death, but I heard some people say it was too over the top to be effective. But I don't usually cry at TV shows, so I have no opinion on that.

[*]Ghost in the Shell: I didn't have to watch the last episode to follow the story for this one, which is always nice. A good one overall with great animation, brutal salaryman fisticuffs, and invisible Tachikomas. And one thing I find interesting about the Laughing Man plot is that parts of it resemble today's fake news. I mean, there's this baseless message about how an important dude will be assassinated, and yet people see it, decide Pizzagate-style that it's somehow a good idea, and end up turning it into real life. Not a bad prescient message for a medium tailor-made to be escapist entertainment.

[*]One Piece: Its penultimate episode of the Toonami Swim run was decent. Like GiTS, I got acquainted to the story pretty quickly despite skipping last week's affair.. though I feel like this was just an excuse to have the Straw Hats do awesome shit and occasionally show pretty rainbows.

[*]Hunter x Hunter: I feel like a lot of this show is having the canon material be like filler in other shows. This episode felt like it especially. Aside from Leorio returning, we got a dull but rather amusing subplot of Gon arm-wrestling people for money. Sadly, I zoned out of this one within the last five minutes (because I was thinking about the anime listed down below) so I didn't catch Melody's monologue. But I did hear that she apparently knows an evil song... so I guess it wasn't just one fellow shonen which ripped this one off, because Fairy Tail used it as a plot device.

[*]Gundam Unicorn: Great fighting and animation in the first five minutes, but the rest of it lost me. All I remember is that the girl was apparently in an evil simulation.

[*]Dragon Ball Z Kai: Meh... just meh.

[*]Dragon Ball Super: Not good at all. This BoG-copy opening arc has been going horrendously slow, with only minor moments of fun. But it's what I own the Blu-ray of that movie for. 

Instead of watching Naruto: Shippuden, I tuned in to Kemono Friends, the anime which has somehow taken up the mantle Yuri!!! On ICE had of being Japan's most talked about anime. After two episodes, I think I know why that is... but it ain't for any unique reasons. Basically, it's after the apocalypse with animal girls, and Serval is very cute. Moving on...

 

And for a stray observation, did anyone notice that the Bob Eubanks anti-tax commercial aired at the same spot of every hour, at around :29 of the hour, even coming after Samurai Jack? It would often be followed by a Gerber Life commercial. One can only wonder how high the advertising rates they paid for were.

 

Watching the Melody scene from HxH again might be a good idea because it's an interesting backstory and a good look at Kurapika's mindset during that arc.

[EmpressAngel]

Truly Caesar was Bryce Papenbrook’s best role, even with the Italian accent.

By far, the only fuckable one. 

[CAC]

Who wants new Eureka Seven? Well sorta...

 

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2017-03-17/eureka-seven-gets-film-trilogy-set-a-decade-earlier-with-new-hardfloor-song/.113546

[Cille]

Who wants new Eureka Seven? Well sorta...

 

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2017-03-17/eureka-seven-gets-film-trilogy-set-a-decade-earlier-with-new-hardfloor-song/.113546

I guess there's a chance they won't bastardize the show as much as the movie did. I see that most of the original staff including the director and Dai Sato will be working on it, so that's hopeful. I probably won't make a point to watch them unless they get good reviews from other fans.

[CAC]

It will probably be good, bit from the way it seems like we can skip the second movie if you've seen the show....I think.

[PokeNirvash]

With the defeat of Esidisi on Ersaplina Island, and the demise of Caesar Zeppeli in Saint Moritz, the Pillar Men and Hamon users fighting against them are now two and two: Kars and Wamuu vs. Joseph Joestar and Lisa Lisa. But as ready to fight them as they are, will the two be enough to take on both the Pillar Men and their swarms of minions? Will Joseph take the antidote now or wait until his rematch with Wamuu, whenever it may be? And what of the mysterious contents of Lisa Lisa's briefcase?

 

Before I get too carried away, Jack finds himself hunted down by the so-called "Daughters of Aku", Goku gets the hang of fighting as a Super Saiyan God after a few more exchanges with Beerus, Toonami's first microseries since the original IGPX makes landing and it's hella weird, the adults' division of the World Martial Arts Tournament finally gets underway, Zeon forces from across Earth race to where the second clue of Laplace's Box is hiding in Australia, the Phantom Troupe makes their move as the Yorknew City Dream Auction begins, Naruto and Utakata rush to stop Shiranami from releasing the forbidden jutsu sealed inside Hotaru, One Piece's four-year Toonami Swim run comes to a close as Brook observes a day in the life of the Straw Hat crew, and Section 9 investigates what the deal is with a famous revolutionary leader's visitation pattern to Japan. But really, this is all that needs to be said about that episode.

 

 

8:00 - Dragonball Super #11 - Let's Keep Going, Lord Beerus! The Battle of Gods! - TV-PGV

...

11:00 - Samurai Jack #54 - XCIII - TV-14V

11:30 - Dragonball Super #11 - Let's Keep Going, Lord Beerus! The Battle of Gods! - TV-PGV

12:00 - Sand Whale and Me #1 - Warfare Encounter - TV-PGV

12:05 - Dragonball Z Kai #109 - Restless Foreboding. A Mysterious Warrior Appears! - TV-PGLV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #21 - A Hundred Against Two - TV-14V (broadcast), TV-14LV (personal)

1:00 - Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 #11 - The Battle at Torrington - TV-14V

1:30 - Hunter x Hunter #43 - A Shocking Tragedy - TV-14V

2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #150 - The Forbidden Jutsu Released - TV-PGL

2:30 - One Piece #384 - Brook's Great Struggle! Is the Path to Becoming a True Comrade Rigorous? - TV-PG

3:00 - Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX #7 - IDOLATER - TV-14V

 

Next week: if you thought Akame ga KILL! was pure edge, then you ain't seen nothin' yet.

 

[b-b-b-baby]

[FoleyisGood149]

Meanwhile, allow me to tell you a story. Long ago, in a distant land, I, Cartoon Network, show-cancelling master of hiatus, unleashed an UNSPEAKABLE EVIL. But a foooooolish samurai cartoon wielding an interesting plot stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final season was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into cancellation a hiatus, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return tonight at 11:00 P.M., and undo the future that is Cartoon Network!

Nicely done, Poke.

Jojo's staying the hell out of this, in the smartest move he's ever made.

I don't understand why they didn't make a bunch of Molotovs, sled them over (Caesar and Joseph could totally pull a sled laden with 50+ gallons worth of firebombs) to the abandoned place, light them up and start chucking. Sure, Wamuu might try to use his wind powers to deflect them, but with four people throwing them from every side, he couldn't block all of them, and the wind might actually accelerate the burning. Why not try to burn the place down around them? Yes, it might still be burning well into the night, but even then, the Pillar Men would be surrounded by fire.

 

I had a very long day on little sleep Saturday last week, and I fell asleep during JoJo. However, I did set everything to record, but didn't get around to the shows until yesterday.

 

I'm a little saddened that OP will be leaving this week. Without it airing weekly on Toonami, I doubt I'll continue it in animated form. Someday I might commit to reading the manga, but not watching that many episodes. As for Tokyo Ghoul, it's another thing that I wouldn't choose to watch on my own, but if Toonami is going to put it in front of my eyeballs, I will watch it.

 

Jack - The alien mother and child communicating with projections of images and words is strange, but a neat idea. Perhaps it would make their species more honest, since they would literally show one another what they were thinking.

 

It is strange that Jack doesn't age. What's up with that, show? Still, he's now spent a lifetime fighting Aku's adherents, assassins, lackeys and minions. With that in mind, it would be easy to get caught up in the daily struggle and lose sight of the ultimate goal - killing Aku and/or returning to the past to kill him there.

 

I don't remember seeing Jack lose his sword in the first series. Yes, I know that the episode numbering is picking up from where the first show stopped, as this is a proper sequel series, but it is still a new series.

 

I can dig Jack's new look. He does look very badass. Maybe the beard is part of an effort to make himself less easily identifiable to those seeking his life.

 

Regarding the septuplets, I'm curious about some things. First, were they actually sired by Aku, or are they simply his "daughters" in that they were born into this order which serves him? Second, if it is the former, then is that something which holds across the previous generation(s), meaning their mother is also their half-sister? If so, ew, Aku. Third, what was the timeframe we saw there? Did we see those girls growing up in snippets over the course of natural human growth across several years? Did they grow to maturity on an abbreviated schedule? Answers, please, show.

 

DBS - Yep, Goku is strong enough to be interesting to Beerus now. Just remember not to point any energy attacks at the planet, Goku.

 

DBZK - Don't look so surprised, Videl. You knew Gohan and Goten could fly. You can fly. Why would it surprise you that Trunks could as well?

 

Yeah, Trunks broke the agreements about energy attacks and going Super Saiyan in order to ring-out Goten, but they're still pals.

 

Mr. Satan is twofold lucky. First, he was able to convince Trunks to hold back. Second, he was able to play it off as theatrics when he still went flying from the hit.

 

JoJo - Regarding Caesar's past, yes, it's awful that his mother died when he was a boy, and it sure did stink that his father left him and his siblings in order to take up the Zeppeli quest to destroy the Stone Masks and the Pillar Men. While the quest is a noble one, he should've done more to entrust his children to people who weren't horrible, i.e. willing to steal from abandoned children and force them into crime in order to survive. Given what happened, I don't blame Caesar for becoming a thug in order to provide for himself (and presumably his siblings), and he must've been good at it, since he attracted a gang of cohorts. When he discovered his father and the dangers of the Pillar Men, it took character on his part to reconcile with his father after-the-fact and take up the quest.

 

Knowing that Caesar was 16 when he first went to Lisa for training, I'm curious about how old he his now, and by extension how old Lisa might be, since she also taught Caesar's father for several years prior. Hm, in a way, Caesar's father was living it up with a beautiful woman, since 1. Lisa is pretty and 2. he received instruction in hamon, life energy, from her, including how to produce more of it.

 

Regarding Wamuu's trick for being outside in daylight, I have my doubts. Yes, water will bend light's path, but to do that would require bending it enough times that each photon never made it through, meaning no light would reach his body. Thus there are two possibilities for what Caesar should've seen. If the light never reached Wamuu and was made to bend around him, then he would appear as a black, man-sized region. If the light was bent to the point that it traveled back out toward the source of it, then he would appear as a bright, white, man-sized region. It might be more difficult to isolate such a thing from the background snow on a sunny day, but that's what it would be. What Caesar wouldn't see is what we saw, a blurry vision of Wamuu, since that would require some light to reach his body and reflect back, meaning he would be hit by sunlight and turn to stone.

 

In the fight, I'm not sure why Caesar would use anything other than Bubble Cutter once he saw that it was the only thing that could penetrate Wamuu's defenses. Also, Caesar could have more limited combat potential with his Bubble style, since it used a finite resource, the soap film, on his body in his attacks, and that would eventually be depleted, possibly before his hamon would be. While he was able to wound Wamuu and got the antidote for Joseph, Caesar still couldn't counter Wamuu's Divine Sandstorm.

 

I don't know if it's the personality difference between Caesar and the Baron, but I felt more of a loss when the Baron died than when Caesar did. Still, that's okay, because Joseph and Lisa got way more histrionically emotional over it than Jonathan did. Also, poor Michael McConnohie Messina.

 

Here's hoping that one of Caesar's floozies is carrying his child so the Zeppeli line can continue, just in case Joseph and Lisa fail.

 

MSG: U - Ah, so that's what the Colony drop on Sydney looked like. It really did serve to provide scale by showing one end of a Colony in comparison to a city and illustrated that Colonies are major metropolitan areas in space. It's no wonder there's now a crater filled with ocean water where Sydney and the surrounding area were.

 

I didn't get that Riddhe was smitten with Audrey, but okay. Also, not the most romantic proposal, dude. I don't blame her for declining. Audrey's diner philosophy discussion with Cookie sounded more pretentious on her part than anything. At least she did leave payment and tip under the coffee mug.

 

That was a goodly amount of manpower and equipment in the attack on the Federation legislature just for a diversion. I guess Zeon really does place that much importance on the Unicorn Gundam and the contents of the Box.

 

I can't say I would be thrilled at the idea of a four-day trek across a desert, but stop whining, Links. Your complaining and angsting make you less sympathetic every time I hear it.

 

I'm not entirely sure what happened with Marida. The Vist Foundation had an old Zeon mobile suit, presumably one designed to exploit the capabilities of artificial New Types like Marida, and it triggered some kind of freak-out, but I'm not sure why. Perhaps that model included something like the psychoframe interface, and that system somehow retained some traces of the previous pilot, which would've been an earlier clone in the line that includes Marida, so it's like the machine was reaching out to her with traces of someone who was very much like her, but not quite her. Whatever happened, it looked like what Alberto and the other Vist people were doing could be considered a form of torture.

 

HxH - It's nice to see Leorio again. At least he's started on his nen training, even though he's not as advanced as Gon, Killua and Kurapika.

 

Leorio's arm wrestling hustle will raise money, but not enough soon enough. I guess Gon got lucky that he picked Shizuku's weaker arm so they didn't lose the diamond.

 

It was a good decision on Kurapika's part to start wearing colored contacts to hide his eyes.

 

I can understand why Melody would want to destroy the cursed music that disfigured her arm and killed her friend, but I don't think there'll be a way to restore her arm.

 

Shippuden - Oh teh noez, Hotaru's cousin is ebil and wants the jutsu for his own purposes. Still, his mind-control thing is formidable.

 

Of course Naurto was able to power out of the chakra-draining trap. The fillains should be glad that he was still using just his chakra, not the Nine-Tails'.

 

Okay, our group is reunited, with Utakata as well, and they're off to save Hotaru. This filler looks like it's about to wrap up.

 

OP - At least the two girls aren't orphans. Their dad may be a flake, but he did come back for them, and they were even able to vindicate his research.

 

Dagnabbit, Luffy! Keep track of the gem! Losing it in the candy rain was sheer carelessness. I see two solutions to isolating it: 1. have Luffy eat all the candy that they find on the Sunny and make him search his stool for it in the coming days, and 2. have Sanji dissolve all of the candy in hot water, which would leave the gem alone in the syrupy water, and then it could be strained out, since the water would likely no longer be transparent.

 

GitS - It is a little strange that a technological virus could alter a person's complex behavior so drastically. My understanding of cyberbrains is that they are still almost entirely the natural brain, but with several networked implants. It's strange that devices which are intended to give wireless computer functionality to a person using their brain could be co-opted to take control of the person's higher motor functions. Maybe it can't. Maybe the virus isn't controlling their movements and speech, but rather they have been brainwashed. I doubt that all of them are real-time hackings, though, since none of them looked to be struggling like the one guy during the press conference an episode or two ago.

[EmpressAngel]

Here's hoping that one of Caesar's floozies is carrying his child so the Zeppeli line can continue, just in case Joseph and Lisa fail.

He did have siblings, at least one of those Zeppeli kids is bound to procreate. Still with that track record it's probably best if they stay very far away from the Joestar group.

[BUU8800]

JoJo

Flamboyant vampire door? That's...new? Hey wait...is that Agumon? That guy sounds like Agumon! Huh, guess Lisa Lisa prefers Pokemon...and buying new scarves. Are you gonna take the antidote JoJo? Naw, gotta maintain dramatic tension. Besides, do you know where that ring's been? It's 100 vs 2! Yeah, I can read the episode title just fine show, thanks....no wait! Now it's one on one again! But first go get the stone JoJo...and carry mustache guy's carcass away...I guess. If you feel like it. Oooh, time for a not at all creepy or tonally jarring panty raid! Roshi would be so proud. Hey wait...Lisa Lisa backstory time! She's 50!? I don't blame you JoJo, anime characters rarely come close to looking their actual ages. Yeah I was actually spoiled about this whole backstory a couple months ago so while a cool reveal the impact is pretty much gone for me unfortunately....yeah. And...a chariot race death battle? Okay that I didn't see coming. Although considering how over the top the rest of this show is I dunno why I'm surprised. We about to go Ben-Hur on some vampire asses!

 

Gundam

3 minute recap again! Still in the desert. Why are you crying? It's so beautiful! The Seventh Swell Effect? Oh, the night sky...right. Damnit show you're not doing yourself any favors reminding me of vastly superior mecha series! Pollution's gotten even worse? Al Gore would be rolling in his grave if he wasn't a head in a jar. Boy this show loves hitting cliche dark themes and then running them into the ground huh? War is hell, conflicting ideologies can never coexist, the government opposes equality, blah blah blah. If only I cared...or knew what was going on. Thanks Brown-Haired Hitsugaya, your crying amused me enough to continue on. Oh, and now some underwater action. Okay I guess. Sorry blonde dude, you don't interest me either. The Gundam blood is only slightly less jarring than what was in Samurai Jack earlier tonight. Oh hey, more civilians getting massacred! Soooo...no Marida this week? I actually care about her so considering her current status should I be thankful or not?

 

Hunter

Holy crap! A slaughter I actually care about! Guess the Phantom Troupe doesn't mess around. So much for the A-Team, they're dropping like flies! Tits, I'll miss you. Okay vacuum girl(which btw, wtf was that nightmare fuel?), you better start wearing skimpier clothing to make up for killing Tits! Or at least give your remaining screen time to the cleavage girl Troupe member! This show has waaay too little fanservice...I mean female presence as it is! But wait...a troupe traitor? Apparently not. Nice bullet catch brute force monkey guy, Raditz would be proud. Or well I don't think he caught the bullet with his teeth actually so who am I thinking of? Damnit, I forget! Boy, watching all this slaughtering though reminds me Toonami was really heavy on the violence tonight. JoJo probably had the least of it from what I watched, so what does that tell you? 10 Dons? Does Vito Corleone know about them? Shadow Beasts? MORE names to try and remember? Nope, not gonna do it. Besides the 4 goofy looking ones at the end look like total jobbers. Although I guess looks might be deceiving...but why would the narration hype up Kurapika then? I'm callin' it, they're jobbers.

[EmpressAngel]

Jack- I'm cool with this replacing Aku's old intro but I miss the song at the start. That's also how I feel every morning, Aku. Oh lord his eyebrows. Things ain't gonna end well for the mud people. You feeling okay, buddy? Okay therapist Aku is amazing. DIIIIIIIIIIIE. Dude you've been sending out people to work on that problem for 50 years now. Hi doggie! Hi tigers! Time to spear some shit. Great job science dudes, you made it a bigger and easier target for him. Nooo not the bike. Noooo not the beard. I'm glad they're continuing the proud tradition of Jack getting his clothes damaged off. Oh no doggie's hurt. Someone give Jack a hug. Where's the Scotsman to give him a pep talk when he needs it. Don't trust that demon guy on the horse. Surprise it's not a robot it's a gang of love-starved teenage girls that I'm adopting. Girls just leave Jack alone he's had a rough day. Oh no don't follow that bug. GODDAMIT KIDS ALL OF YOU ARE GROUNDED. Well this looks ominous. I just want Jack to be happy, show. I will accept more clothing damage for the moment. Punch her in the tits! Jesus christ, Genndy is not fucking around here.

 

Jojo- Joseph's muscles are so big that my boyfriend curse bounced right off of those amazing goddamn abs and hit the next buffest thing. KICK THEIR SHIT. Oh god the clackers are back. What in the shit. Nooo the clackers. No seriously, what the fuck is this. Beat his ass, Lisa Lisa. Holding her would be worth the painful death. God I love my wife. No baby that's stupid drink it now. Awww they really did love each other. Fuck you, Wammu. Fight me I'd be amazing at Hamon, under my massive boobs are a set of lungs as big as my massive boobs. Well that's super goddamn creepy. FIGHT ME, KARS. I'm pretty sure Lisa Lisa could take them all out with a sneeze. I'm always in the mood for you, baby. Oh my god you giant dork I'm gonna fuck you. I'm going to marry her. Really should have just set the whole building on fire. That sounds romantic, Jojo should blow it off and go out with me instead. Okay don't blow it off, save my wife. Oh right there's that other guy I forgot about him. And I just want you to destroy my fucking pelvis, Joseph. Just take me now, you beautiful goddamn pervert. Wait what. Ohhh shit she's his mom. Oh gross, he was looking at his mom naked. Thank god he's pretty. Well Straitzo was a douchewad who attacked Speedwagon and tried to kill your only child so it's not really that complicated. DEMON HORSES. Please tell me Joseph has to wear that outfit too. Good horsepires. STRIP FOR ME, BABY. Somehow he just leveled up and got even hotter. Aww, I was hoping they'd keep Caesar in the Roundabout.

 

Gundam- Recap all you want, I still can't pay attention to this franchise when there's not shirtless jailbait running around. Just leave this kid in the desert to die. I also don't gve a shit what's in the box. Cry harder, you whiny brat. I am still eternally disappointed about Full Frontal's name. These seem like impractical places to stash robots. Oh hey, blond kid's still alive. And then my stream crashed, because not even my video player cares enough to pay attention.

 

Hunter- Daaaamn, Boobs is looking good in that dress. Yeah this seems like a good idea. Literal finger guns. Protect those boobs at all costs! Whelp so much for those guys. Quick, make out with that girl. THIS IS BULLSHIT BOOBS JUST GOT HERE. I had to watch Pig Fucker shit up the screen for months at a time, but the great rack is dead after like three episodes. That thing looks like the vacuum from Teletubbies. Nice job being stealthy, dude. Just blame Hisoka, always blame Hisoka. How does nobody notice the giant goddamn hot air balloon above them. JUST BLAME HISOKA, ALWAYS BLAME HISOKA. God you're edgy, dude. Probably should have beefed up security for the super mob auction regardless if you expected a rumble or not. This fight is not gonna end well. Never fight Patrick Seitz you cannot win. Ouuuuch. WEREWOLF ATTACK. Okay that rock throw was seriously impressive. Good job, you're all going to die. Uhh that one guy can literally rewrite reality, just have him haiku up a weakness. We belong to whichever family is gonna keep you from killing us. Jesus they're like the monsters from Hellraiser.

 

Naruto- I know eventually this filler's gonna end and I won't be able to spend this time rewatching Jojo and fawning over those ridiculous gorgeous muscles, so I'm just gonna enjoy it as long as it lasts.

 

One Piece- At least the final episode isn't Foxy. I love Brook so much. I hope that journal says a lot about Luffy's hot brother. I LOVE BROOK SO MUCH. I'm gonna hug that skeleton he's so precious. Dude you're gonna learn to enjoy any peace and quiet you get on this ship. Oh noooo the dishes. I like how their fridge has a lock because of Luffy. Brook and Jojo would be good friends. Daaaang Nami is rocking those glasses. OH NOOOO THE MAP. Poor Brook come here let me hug you. Chopper's workin' on some dank weed. This is not gonna end well. Oh nooo the weapon. Maybe you shouldn't keep the soy sauce right next to the soda. At least Luffy is happy. Meanwhile, Zoro works out. Nah bro let's just sit here and admire Zoro for awhile. Brook you don't have a dick how does that even work. Robin is the best and I love her. SKULLBRO IS SO SWEET I'M CRYING. Okay group hug, both of you. Awwwww Luffy. I love them all so much. Stop showing me the sad backstory, goddammit! This is the best crew. Just when I thought we were done with this song. Sing along, you all know the words by now! This was a good episode to end on.

[BUU8800]

Jojo - Well Straitzo was a douchewad who attacked Speedwagon and tried to kill your only child so it's not really that complicated.

 

Yeah the spoiler I read back then went as far as to say

 

She actually considered killing JoJo for killing Straitzo which, father figure or not that's your child, and that's fucked up.

 

It really soured me on her character a bit early on knowing that, but I kept an open mind and having seen it finally addressed in the series itself think/hope that spoiler was an exaggeration as she only really said she felt it was complicated here which to me is vastly different. Mind you I agree with you in that it really isn't complicated but still. Were that spoiler true it would make her borderline irredeemably awful to me, regardless of how hot she is.

[FoleyisGood149]

True, Caesar had brothers and at least one sister, but if we didn't see them alive in the present day of the show, then we can't be sure that any of them survived. I would like to believe that Caesar was able to provide for them until he started his hamon training, at which point one or more of his siblings would be able to take care of the others, but we can't count on it. Let's just think of Caesar having knocked up one or more of the floozies as extra insurance for the Zeppeli family.

 

Jack - The first scene was fun, Aku being bored with his admirerers and supplicants. Aku's therapy session with himself was a great way to give his perspective on things, that he's annoyed that Jack hasn't simply died of old age. While Aku says he's destroyed all the time portals, I feel like another will be discovered or made before the end of the show.

 

This was definitely more mature in overall tone than even most episodes of the first series. Jack and Inner Jack, who voiced his doubts, frustration and weariness, all but openly talked about suicide being the only way out for him. Granted, for someone whose life is actively sought by aggressors, Jack's end wouldn't have to be by his own hand - he could simply allow a robot or enslaved monster to finish him, but he would still be choosing death rather than fighting for his life and those of others.

 

The outdoor battle was intense, and seeing the Septuplets whittle away Jack's armaments (noooo, not his sweet ride!) and armor showed that they are an effective fighting unit. When it moved indoors, I misunderstood. I thought each Septuplet chased a dead end, but instead it worked out that they found places to lie in wait. I very much enjoyed the homage to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, with the twist that they were all able to hone in on his location rather than a false one next to the sought spot. I don't know how they did it, since it sounded to me like Jack remained silent, but they did. I'll just say it was some kind of mystical acumen unless we're told otherwise.

 

I feel like the show did well in drawing out the battle between Jack and the Septuplets. With his line in the promo for this episode about his pursuers being just "nuts and bolts," it clearly set the stage for him to be shocked when he found that an opponent he felled was human, but the circumstances of the slaying were more visceral and emotional as we saw it. He could've seen that he gunned one down with his bike-mounted machine gun, but seeing the blood spurt from the throat slash (I'm amazed he didn't decapitate her) and pool on the floor made it much more personal, I would say. I'm not sure whether he's suffered worse wounds than this stab, but he'll be in rough shape for the coming fight against the remaining six sisters, who likely will discover the one he slew before finding him. The aftermath of the white wolf vs. the green tigers doesn't bode well for Jack.

 

Still, I'm not sure why the vibration dagger made the castle explode rather than collapse. It looked to be a stone structure, so that is odd to me.

 

DBS - Yes, it usually takes a dire threat to family and friends or the death of one of them for Goku to unlock new levels of power. I feel like he's still nowhere close to what he can really do, though.

 

Um, Bulma? How about landing and fixing the backfiring engine? Yes, you might lose sight of Beerus and Goku, but that's preferable to crashing into the ocean.

 

Goku shouldn't have been able to breathe at that altitude. Oh well.

 

DBZK - I forgot how shady Kibito and Shin were when we first met them.

 

I also forgot how goofy and ridiculous Goten and Trunks taking the masked guy's outfit was. Plus, yes, getting his name before the drawing would've been a good idea, though Trunks was right that Spopovitch (sp?) should've answered sooner when his name was called.

 

Piccolo registering as Ma Junior is a callback to DB, since he's the offspring of Piccolo Daimaoh. It is part of his name.

 

Krillin did catch a lucky break in not facing one of his friends in the first round. Goku vs. Vegeta would be the most epic match, whether Vegeta agreed not to destroy the arena and nearby city in the fight or not.

 

JoJo - While I can respect Joseph treating the antidote ring as a symbol of his promise to avenge Caesar, I would still urge him to take the antidote before seeking Kars and Wamuu.

 

I bought Lisa's bluff about the explosive device on the Star of Aja. She did well to use that threat to negotiate single combat conditions for herself and Joseph. Of course, given the area and combat conditions selected for those battles, I would expect the vampires to attack when/if both Kars and Wamuu are defeated.

 

I thought the show said in an earlier episode that Joseph's mom was someone who survived the steamship sinking which claimed Jonathan's life. If that is the case, and Lisa is the baby who Jonathan urged Erina to save, then does that mean Lisa, who was raised in the ways of hamon by Straitso, is actually Joseph's mom? She would be appropriately aged at 50, but I don't like what that relationship would mean for her chances of surviving the upcoming fight with Kars.

 

Vampire horses, show? That seems entirely unnecessary, and it's a dirty trick to force Joseph to divide his attention between Wamuu with his chariot and steeds and sending just enough hamon through the reins for Joseph to control his own team. It would also serve as a motivator to end the fight quickly, since that would be a constant drain on Joseph's hamon. However, the death race would need to last long enough for Joseph to get the hang of controlling his chariot in order to use it as an effective offensive platform against Wamuu. It's a race against time, but he must prolong it enough to learn to use his assets effectively. Good luck, Joseph.

 

MSG: U - Riddhe was lucky that he wasn't charged with dereliction of duty and/or going a.w.o.l.

 

I'm not sure what it says for Zeon's organizational structure if Full is unwilling to order the Earthbound Zeon troops regarding this operation, instead leaving them to do as they would please.

 

Links was right that the battle was a slaughter, but I feel like it might not be entirely under Zeon's control. It looked like the giant red mech with the particle weapon that could rival a cruiser's main gun launched drones of its own accord and used them to carve up the city without the pilot doing anything, perhaps even in spite of the pilot's inputs. I wouldn't be surprised if the NTD activates during the next episode.

 

It didn't look to me like the air in the desert was polluted, but if they say so, then okay. Blah, blah, man was out of balance with nature. Whatever. I would agree, though, that dropping a Colony and an asteroid on Earth would do as much, if not more, environmental damage as decades or centuries of gaseous emissions by industrialized society.

 

HxH - Well, that was a waste, Shizuku killing Baise. Sure, Shizuku's cute, but Baise was hot. I'll miss that eyecandy.

 

What is that big dude with the elongated earlobes? I'm guessing they have cyborgs in this show, since that's all I can conclude he is, given his machine gun fingers that infuse bullets with nen. Shizuku's beyond-high-volume-vacuum cleaner (v.c.) is strange as well, but I did like the wrinkle that the survivor posed. She instructed her v.c. to clean up all the bodies, blood, belongings and chairs. Since the one guy wasn't dead yet, he wasn't a body, so it left him.

 

Given what the battle junkie guy did against heavily armed men, I'm going to guess that these four Beasts won't be enough to take down all the P.T. members at the site.

 

I'll agree with the P.T. members. It is strange that the auction items were moved, but no one was dispatched for added security. I'm going to guess that the one Beast dude who made all the stuff disappear is going to defect to the P.T., and he's going to bring them the stuff as a gesture of good faith.

 

Shippuden - Soooo... are we supposed to conclude that Utakata is a Jinchuriki as well? Naruto was able to break the mind-control jutsu using some of the Nine-Tails' chakra, so maybe that's what Utakata did as well.

 

Wow, this episode dragged on and on and on. The rest of the group accomplished nothing, and all Hotaru did was stand there, immobilized, while the jutsu drew in chakra for that blast at the end. Oh, and she, not by her own actions, showed us a little cleavage. I feel like this episode took about 18 more minutes of airtime than it really needed. Okay, maybe only 15 minutes.

 

OP - I could tell that Nami's warning about vigilance was because Luffy would eat any unguarded food.

 

Calm down, Brook. You tried too hard, and it made you mess up every task with which you sought to help. Still, in Brook's defense, do a better job labeling the barrels, Franky and/or Sanji.

 

Sanji had some sweet plate-catching moves there. Nami looked really cute with glasses, but oh, her poor map.

 

I'm not sure whether repetition training would help Brook with his swordsmanship. Since he has no muscles, he couldn't get stronger, but maybe he could find ways to improve his technique, making his motions more efficient.

 

Robin's advice from experience was just what Brook needed.

 

This felt like a real, proper conclusion to Thriller Bark which set the stage for the next arc. It's too bad Toonami won't be showing that to us any time soon.

 

GitS - Something I've never understood about the multiple Jartis is whether they're androids imprinted with Jarti's personality or cloned bodies with the appropriate artificial limbs and cyberization. While androids have been shown to have white blood and we know from previous airings of the show that even humans with fully prosthetic bodies have red blood, I feel like the android route would be much more cost effective for this yakuza syndicate. They could possibly get around the white blood clue by simply adding an inert red dye to the blood, so if one of the duplicates were injured, it would still bleed red blood.

 

As for letting one of the duplicates go free, I feel like Section 9 would be remiss if they didn't add a program to the duplicate that would cause it to inform them though a secret communication, with no knowledge of doing so afterward, of any plans which would either cross the line into Section 9's purview or pose a significant risk to Japanese citizens.

 

Batou spotting and nabbing the yakuza dude through the bathroom window is still hilarious, though.

[FoleyisGood149]

Hunter

Shadow Beasts? MORE names to try and remember? Nope, not gonna do it.

My thoughts exactly.

 

Jack- Where's the Scotsman to give him a pep talk when he needs it.

 

Jojo- Really should have just set the whole building on fire...

DEMON HORSES... Good horsepires.

 

Hunter- Daaaamn, Boobs is looking good in that dress... Protect those boobs at all costs! ... Quick, make out with that girl. THIS IS BULLSHIT BOOBS JUST GOT HERE. I had to watch Pig Fucker shit up the screen for months at a time, but the great rack is dead after like three episodes.

This fight is not gonna end well. Never fight Patrick Seitz you cannot win... Uhh that one guy can literally rewrite reality, just have him haiku up a weakness.

 

One Piece- I hope that journal says a lot about Luffy's hot brother.

Robin is the best and I love her.

Sadly, the Scotsman is probably long dead. He likely had either a heart attack or a stroke due to excess cholesterol in his diet.

 

INORITE?!?! Also, Dean would be proud.

 

Yeah, I'm going to miss that rack, too. Plus, you have a point.

 

That reminds me that I forgot to comment on the "hidden" journal of their travels so far. If the book is left open on a table in an unlocked room that isn't a single crew member's quarters, then I wouldn't exactly call it hidden.

*Nods agreement.*

[PokeNirvash]

Jack - Still, I'm not sure why the vibration dagger made the castle explode rather than collapse. It looked to be a stone structure, so that is odd to me.

 

Shippuden - Soooo... are we supposed to conclude that Utakata is a Jinchuriki as well? Naruto was able to break the mind-control jutsu using some of the Nine-Tails' chakra, so maybe that's what Utakata did as well.

 

My guess is that the dagger exploded only the walls Jack hit with it, and the castle collapsed because those walls weren’t there to support it when all was said and done. You could see the collapsed structure after he made his escape, after all.

 

I find it interesting how all the filler arcs thus far for Shippuden have some connection to Jinchuriki. First we had Sora being infused with residual Nine-Tails chakra to serve as a pseudo-Jinchuriki, then we had Yukimaru be used to control the Three-Tails remotely as a different approach to the Jinchuriki, now we have Utakata, who appears to be a more conventional Jinchuriki than the first two.

 

Also, at least the Shadow Beasts are named after actual animals, so it shouldn’t be too taxing to memorize them all.

 

Fuck yeah, they’re kicking off anniversary month with the mechanical component design theme. ;D

 

SAMURAI JACK

Greg Baldwin ain’t no Mako, but he makes a decent substitute as Aku. That whole self-therapy scene was surprisingly fun. As for the rest of the episode, AWESOME. I’ve always enjoyed the design of those ancient and abandoned tombs, and seeing yet another one in action was just as enjoyable. The scene where the Daughters of Aku are scouring the main mausoleum for Jack was absolutely perfect, thanks to the music used. Now all that’s left to wonder is, how will Jack recover? Both from his wounds and his first confirmed human kill. (Why did it have to be the one with the best hairstyle?)

 

DRAGONBALL SUPER

If the problem’s with the engine, why don’t you send someone down there and check?

Piccolo is content with staying outta this one.

I still love that Vegeta’s got the best seat, so to speak, in the house.

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS AN ATTACK FROM BEHIND, BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A STOMACHPUNCH!

“So that attack didn’t faze you at all, huh?” I wouldn’t say that, he looked pretty fazed in the moment.

Compressing a super-huge energy blast into something smaller so it’s easily throwable. I don’t know whether that’s awesome or stupid.

[blows up] Stupid it is, then.

Goddammit Bulma, what part of “humans can’t sense god energy” from last week did you not understand?

I guess Saiyans are hella resilient then.

HE BIT MY FUCKING TAIL!

[banshee scream]

Gohan, you give your old man too much credit.

Oh god, it’s a “Goku convinces his opponent to go at him with full power for a fairer fight” episode. Someone sure is disappointed.

“He’s unpredictable. That is what makes him so scary.” Ain’t that the truth. :

In which Beerus uses Goku’s attempt at conversation as the perfect guise to get in close.

Welp, so much for the wildlife on that desolate island.

But why the weird live-action video game angle, though?

“Where is everyone?”

Or maybe he didn’t dodge the explosion, and Saiyans are just hella resilient.

HEADBUTT.

So he’s repaying the one headbutt with ten. That ain’t good.

Yeahhhhhhh this series was more fun to comment on when it wasn’t all action.

We hackeysack now?

Man, fuck Beerus.

Hmm, that was easy.

Or maybe not.

I’m pretty sure Sean Schemmel passed out at some point while recording this episode.

Because nearly nothing can beat the Kamehameha.

EVEN BEERUS IS SURPRISED!

His skin went pale, that ain’t good.

MAN, FUCK BEERUS.

“Saw it coming.”

Not even Goku understands the reason behind his thrill for the battle.

“Also saw that coming.”

And then Beerus ate his words.

If you’re gonna go all out, go all out near Mars, or at least Venus.

TOP BILLING: Beerus.

 

Clearly the most disappointing part of last episode was the lack of Whis. Thank god for these next episode previews.

 

SAND WHALE AND ME

Okay, I think I understand the plot of this one. Our female protag crash-landed on a remote planet with strangely Earthican landscapes, but all the food she tries to eat, from the snail gum to the dragon eggs, are sapping her health, which is named after Owlchemist’s amusing nickname for DBZ Kai: The Final Chapters for some reason. And these Sand Whales are apparently the only non-potentially lethal edibles on the planet. (Besides her can of “Green Peace”.) I still don’t get the whole “video game” angle of it, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it come the second episode.

 

DRAGONBALL Z KAI

NORMAL PUNCH.

Even when he loses, Mr. Satan remains the awesomest.

“…be ready to let it all hang out!” Even funnier that he’s talking about the Adult Division.

MUH JUNIOR.

Fuck yeah, brackets!

Oh Trunks, you’re definitely Vegeta’s kid.

Speaking of real knockouts…

Oh man, now I know what the mask was trying to hide.

Piccolo and 18 are sour because they don’t have digestive processes.

Sucks to be Krillin.

“The thing I miss most about this world is the totally awesome food!” Lord Beerus agrees with that last part.

That purple kid looks awfully familiar…

Okay that is not a kid’s voice.

Soooooooo creepy.

Man, fuck these creepy USB-mouthed motherfuckers.

Yeah, the purple skin was a pretty obvious clue.

Poor Piccolo, getting inadvertently shit-talked by his own adoptive son.

That M on the bald dude’s forehead looks mighty curious. Eh, it’s probably just a tattoo.

Oh hey, his buddy’s got one too!

I dunno, pear-shaped bodies are a thing…

Congratulations, Krillin! You’re #1!

Gohan got the real luck of the draw there. :

“Regular names are so overrated.”

Spopovitch disturbs me, almost as much as Shin.

Chi-Chi, you may be hot, but you could really be a better daughter.

This selection process is actually very invigorating, but I doubt it’ll do well with the regular audience.

Videl gets her looks from Mr. Satan’s hot Asian wife. :-D

Oh good, Pintar isn’t Spopovitch’s equally jacked friend.

Goku vs. Vegeta. That one should be good. :-D

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

SCREENCAP #1: A carefully framed shot of Caesar’s final resting place.

Also, props to [as] for finally utilizing the best rating. They truly have more patience than I.

I would’ve guessed it closed after the depression struck. Maybe that’s what caused the owner’s death…

I completely forgot about the doorknob being a fist.

In a show full of ambiguously gay vampires, this one takes the cake.

Lisa Lisa will handle this one.

Alright maybe this guy isn’t as gay as I thought.

The sunglasses are on, shit’s about to get real.

I love that they just don’t give two shits about this guy. Joseph mocking him pre-mortem made it all the better.

Just like the ending to Eureka AO, Joseph not taking the antidote immediately makes most go “WTF!?” while I respond with an “eh”.

REPLY TO BUU: “Besides, do you know where that ring's been?” The same could be asked about Esidisi’s, but like that one, Jojo will knock it back when it’s time to take the antidote.

My sister’s home this week for her Spring Break (while mine’s just short of ending), and I can only imagine what her reaction would be to all these subtly sexist remarks within the episode like “even though you are a woman”.

Oh no, human vampire bats!

Such subtlety.

So there’s a device now, huh?

SMALL BOMBS.

What?

“You do have pluck.” Thank you, previous arc, for teaching me what that word meant.

See what I meant when I said this wasn’t a revenge tale like you all wanted yourselves to believe?

SCREENCAP #2: Pillar Manservice, go!

We coliseum match now!

So apparently Kars can use the light to make himself equally invisible.

Thank god they remembered about Messina.

Oh Joseph, you’re incorrigible.

See, I told you the contents of her briefcase would be important.

I’ve missed young Speedwagon.

The appointed hour has arisen.

FUCK YOU DIO.

Turns out Lisa Lisa was the baby all along.

Note that his questioning is out of surprise/disbelief.

Eh, 50 isn’t that old.

And so the complications arise.

STAMPEDE!

WAMUU used HAKI! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

“Vampire horses!? Now that’s just insane!”

Oh yeah, chariot races!

These two vampire minions remind me of Watch and Ward.

WAMUU! WAMUU! WAMUU! WAMUU!

And on goes his headband. Shit’s about to get really real!

Man, Sand Whale and me really screwed up the timing of my recordings.

 

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM UNICORN RE:0096

Time for another five minutes of the same old recap!

All right, let’s see how long we can last before Banagher starts bitching again.

So they’re in the Sahara then, fair enough a location.

This series really makes a decent argument for Zeon.

Oh hey, Campbell’s soup.

If it ain’t sad, it’s complicated as fuck.

Crying is a completely natural thing. Some people just refuse to understand that.

IIRC, he’s referring to Haman Karn, one of the main antagonists of Zeta Gundam. She’s pretty hot.

SIEG ZEON.

I wanna punch Angelo in his stupid face.

Well, at least her hair’s fluffy.

All these sleeper cells, waking up at once.

It’s good to see that Banagher isn’t complaining.

Bright’s lack of sclera reminds me of Hanna-Barbera.

That man in the picture frame is Amuro Ray, the OG Gundam protagonist. He complained about piloting robots before Shinji Ikari made it the cool thing to do.

THE SIEGE HAS BEGUN!

You gotta love that giant robot carnage.

I love how these beams melt the metal before exploding it.

Man, fuck this fluffy-haired chick.

Banagher reacted to that better than I expected.

Meanwhile, who cares about what Riddhe is doing.

 

This is why you never let women into your mancave.

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

Why would you capitalize the X in Hunter x Hunter?

Turns out the third bodyguard at the auction was the narrator all along.

The tension in this room is so thick, you could fantasize about it sitting on your face.

Oh shit they’ve already infiltrated the inner corridor.

FINGERBANG TIMES TEN! Yusuke Urameshi would be jealous.

Dude, I think they’ve already found their way inside you.

Well… that’s one way to give someone brain damage.

Shizuku killed Baise, that means she’s my HxH waifu now.

Anyone who thinks HxH is still a kids’ show after this needs to be lobotomized.

“Oh look, a survivor.”

Instant beheading.

Alright, that Nen vacuum is actually kinda cute. :3

Dang, the Phantom Troupe really doesn’t mess around.

No one ever suspects the hot air balloon.

Wait, so someone besides the Phantom Troupe stole the merchandise? Now that’s a twist.

Nevermind, it was just the auction staff planning ahead.

EVERY DAY IS GREAT AT YOUR JUNES~.

I liked this commercial better when the refreshed sighs were natural and not Autotuned.

Personally, if one of them had to be a “Junes” (sorry, Judas), it’d definitely be Hisoka.

The ten dongs?

Okay, so the mafia did take at least some precautions.

But what could they do to draw that many bad dudes out?

Any reason why the token black guy has a lisp?

Patrick Seitz has got this handled.

Caught the bullet with his teeth. Now this is a villain I can get behind.

DICKS OUT FOR UVOGIN.

“Damn sniper bullets…”

BULLSEYE.

A super bazooka? Must have some ammunition.

“Did I get him!?” No you did not.

It’s a… slugman?

“Those guys are so dead.”

Oh yeah, Gon wasn’t even in this episode, was he?

 

That’s why you use concealer, you stupid bitch!

 

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

This is certainly a disturbing time to show some cleavage.

It’s hard for her to be happy with a blank face, dumbass.

Creepier than Shin.

BIG BANG ATTACK!

That gaze… so she’s not exactly out of it after all, no matter what her pupils say.

“Have you lost your mind?” No, it’s natural for filler villains to have delusions of grandeur.

In what way are those two the same?

Oh yeah, that…

Clearly Utakata killed his master out of self-defense.

Naming your new country after your clan is a terrible idea, there’s already a Land of Earth and Village Hidden in the Clouds. Unless the “Gumo” part of Tsuchigumo means “spider”, otherwise go nuts.

She’s his vessel because this series isn’t edgy enough for sex slavery.

FREEZE FRAME NO JUTSU.

And then Toonami became part of a weird music video. Demarco, that madman! Still, it was a better episode of Off the Air than the last episode of Off the Air.

I know you’ve got that freeze-frame kanji thing going on, but can you beat Madara Uchiha in battle with it?

Flashback Utakata, you dick.

Why do Shiranami’s abs look like a butterfly is trapped inside them?

I feel that this guy’s ripping off the Spirit Bomb with this move.

“Believe it!” may have died out after thirty episodes, but “Cha!” is forever.

Watching these three do something, even if it’s against a bunch of hypnotized villagers, is pretty relieving, considering Naruto’s frozen in place for the foreseeable future.

CURSE YOU, VIC MANGINA. I WILL GET YOU BACK. SOMEHOW.

“There’s no end to any of this.” He says in the filler arc with one episode left. :

Utakata always plans ahead.

JINCHURIKI CHAKRA, ACTIVATE!

Shadow Clones: always the perfect distraction.

Did he just say “Furry Jutsu”?

Welp, they’re boned.

 

ONE PIECE

ONE LAST TOAST FOR ONE PIECE!

TOP BILLING: Brook.

You gotta love them skull jokes.

It always pays to keep a record of your adventures for future generations to find.

The White Hankerchief of Happiness.

The funny thing is, I only remember two of those adventures. Part of 4Kids alabasta, and the [as] run of Water 7/Enies Lobby. Somehow never got around to watching Skypiea, which is apparently as elusive as the Band of Seven arc.

Whatever adventures you have next, you’ll have to go elsewhere to hear about them.

Luffy’s appetite certainly knows no bounds.

Catching the plate with his teeth. Not as impressive as Uvogin and that bullet, but it’ll do.

Tough luck there, Sanji.

So I assume the official world maps in the OP universe are technically incomplete.

Well… that was certainly painful. : (

A simple task that he’ll inevitably screw up.

The lesson to learn from this: always label your liquid storage barrels.

Well, at least Luffy’s having fun.

Zoro’s training regimen is pretty extreme.

Hm, that turned out slightly better than I expected, even with the bathroom humor.

And then Robin was Brook’s therapist.

Oh boy they’re gonna bond over their tragic backstories.

When are they gonna air that Tokyo Ghoul promo they aired during Samurai Jack again? That would be waaaaaaay more preferable than this titanic testicular travesty of a promotional. :::

Robin, you are the best. And considering we won’t be getting to Hancock anytime soon, it looks like it’s gonna stay that way.

Luffy doesn’t discriminate, and that’s why he’s also the best.

And so lunch went by without much incident, apart from the usual wackiness.

That hallucination is always hard to take.

Mmm… stew.

Sometimes I forget that Luffy has abs.

Ah yes, the sad violin version of Binks’ Brew. Always moving. T_T

And with that, One Piece’s time on Toonami has come to an end. Whether it returns in the future or not, it was a great four-year run regardless. Until we meet again, old friend… Later. T_T7

 

GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX

I’m more than certain that the episode airing in letterbox was some type of programming error, but considering the letterboxing was part of what made several of the scenes across this episode so awesome when I first saw them, that error was the right choice. That, plus the retro packaging, made for an entertaining night of Toonami. The Tachikoma Days short was fun too! ;D

 

[happy 20th toonami]

[OwlChemist81]

I can finally do a Top Ten for this week!

 

#10: Shippuden

#09: Sand Whale & Me

#08: Ghost In The Shell

#07: One Piece

#06: Dragonball Super

#05: JoJo

#04: DBZ KFC

#03: Gundam Unicorn

#02: Samurai Jack

#01: Hunter x Hunter

[Cille]

#04: DBZ KFC

Thanks, now I want fried chicken.

[BUU8800]

Thanks, now I want fried chicken.

 

Buu ALWAYS wants fried chicken!...and candy!

[PokeNirvash]

Ah what the hell, I'll do one too.

 

1. Samurai Jack (We need series and episodes like this to counterbalance all the waves of shit in today's animation climate.)

2. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure (The distaste for Wild Beck has to be the most meta this show has ever gotten.)

3. Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX (Mmm, that technical direction.)

4. Hunter x Hunter (That auction house massacre took way less manpower than expected, but that's the Phantom Troupe for ya.)

5. DBZ Kai: The Final Chapters (YO THAT KID JUST KILLED DANNY DEVITO.)

6. One Piece (The final lesson to learn from One Piece: you can ship Robin with pretty much any other Straw Hat and it works.)

7. Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 (Mecha Pilot Karen Strassman 2.0 is everything wrong with Zeon today.)

8. Naruto Shippuden (Filler villains: always slightly overpowered.)

9. Sand Whale and Me (Why is it a video game? What purpose is there for it being a video game? Who in their right mind would think a concept this cool would require the supposed thrill of being a video game?)

10. Dragonball Super (Lord Beerus, you a busta.)

[PokeNirvash]

The appointed hour has arisen. Though the lip ring containing the antidote needed to keep the ring inside him from dissolving is within his grasp, Joseph Joestar has one final task to accomplish before he can consider himself worthy of taking it: attaining victory in his rematch with Wamuu. The battleground is a stone circle in the Northernmost regions of Italy; the competition is a chariot race to the death; and both the millenia-old Pillar Man and our cocky young upstart of a protagonist are in it to win it. A battle of strategy, wit, and all-out insanity is about to begin, the likes of which have never been seen before...

 

In slightly similar veins, the remaining six Daughters of Aku continue their hunt for a badly wounded and almost naked Jack, the battle between Goku and Beerus gets so intense that the universe can't even handle it, the soldier known only as KFC continues her repetitive hunt for delicious sand whale meat, Piccolo's strange feeling about that Shin kid only grows as the tournament nears its beginning, ordinary college student Ken Kaneki's first date with a girl ever doesn't go as well as he hoped it would (hmm, sounds familiar...), the Shadow Beasts try their hand at taking down the Phantom Troupe's resident big guy Uvogin, Banagher tries to stop Loni from massacring innocents because of Newtype fuckery, the book finally closes on the shortest Shippuden filler arc thus far (and yet it still feels like a total drag), and the Major and Togusa look into a recent string of mass naked child events illegal organ transplant donations.

 

8:00 - Dragonball Super #12 - The Universe Will Shatter? Clash! Destroyer vs. Super Saiyan God! - TV-14 (!)

...

11:00 - Samurai Jack #55 - XCIV - TV-14V

11:30 - Dragonball Super #12 - The Universe Will Shatter? Clash! Destroyer vs. Super Saiyan God! - TV-14

12:00 - Sand Whale and Me #2 - Search and Destroy - TV-PGV

12:05 - Dragonball Z Kai #110 - What Happened, Piccolo? An Unexpected Outcome in the First Round - TV-PGLV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #22 - A True Warrior - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-14LV (personal)

1:00 - Tokyo Ghoul #1 - Tragedy - TV-MAV

1:30 - Hunter x Hunter #44 - Buildup to a Fierce Battle! - TV-14V

2:00 - Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 #12 - A Private War - TV-14LV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #151 - Master and Student - TV-PGL

3:00 - Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX #8 - MISSING HEARTS - TV-14L

 

[could you die for me?]

[Blatch]

So you're doing it after midnight for a change.

 

Do you have anything interesting of the sort to do tomorrow? I'm going to go see Power Rangers, with possible cleaning out of my room to find a Fitbit charger and/or Dreamcast VGA box coming afterward.

[PokeNirvash]

Not really, no. I just felt like staying up tonight.

[Cille]

I'm glad I checked this thread before crashing, I forgot I needed to tell my DVR to start recording Tokyo Ghoul.

[BUU8800]

JoJo

"What are you doing JoJo?" "Shaddup ma I'm trying to cheat over here!" Ironically Wamu is voiced by the guy who constantly screamed "HAMMER!" in the dub of s-CRY-ed...I'm not joking. There's a sex joke somewhere in JoJo's eagerness to get his hands on that hammer. So I was watching a non anime-centric youtuber earlier this week who by chance caught last week's JoJo episode and pointed out it was literally all expository dialogue and now I can't unsee it. Even the onlooking grunts are explaining things! JoJo lost his chariot? No biggie, Wamu lost his arms! Time for the crossbow round! Silly JoJo, you'd think he'd know bigger isn't always better. And Wamu's decided on the no eyes gambit, risky. There's a sex joke somewhere in Wamu's newly sprouted horn and his hitting JoJo from behind with his ball. You know Kars I don't think your constant gloating is impressing Lisa Lisa, and it only succeeds in making you look stupid each time JoJo comes back. There's a sex joke somewhere in JoJo's ball hitting Wamu from aw forget it. Wamu's got robo-rocket arms! Does 16 know someone stole his bit? Naw, projectile arms hardly originated with 16, and this probably predates his manga debut anyway. Wamu's secret technique has Kars nervous...a self-destructing wind explosion of some type perhaps? Also reminds me of 16 if so...good luck JoJo!

 

Hunter

The only good part about Tokyo Ghoul airing before Hunter? Gives me more time to arrange my JoJo thoughts! Bah, I called it! Those shadow beast guys were total jobbers! One Nen punch and a bite to the head and 2 are already gone. Even Kurapika knows they're chumps. Speaking of he's found one of his prey. Spider #11 eh? I forget what that means. Is Naraku #1 then? Oh hey, cards! Were they playing Bullshit? That takes me back. Nice wail kill, Buu would be proud. His could tear holes in dimensions though. Kurapika's seen enough, even after beaver girl calmed him down with her flute song powers. Time to kick ass! He's so confident and...wow, easier than expected capture actually. Then again he was already poisoned. Oh hey, worm guy wasn't completely disintegrated. Eyes on the road Kurapika! Dayum, so even not poisoned that guy'd be trapped by the chains? Kurapika's got a ridiculously powerful middle finger! And an insane level of resolve.

 

Gundam

Why am I still watching this again? Another this is war lecture. Oh wow, brown-haired Hitsugaya can actually fight. You want to be like the guy at least twice your size you just beat up? Don't listen Gundam, give into your anger, sith are cooler than jedi! Ah yes, the cycle of hatred. Naruto could lecture you on that. Here comes blonde dude. "I can get through to her!" Aaand...he did. Okay then. ::]:: Kyle Hebert! Nooooo! And she's gone again. The Fat Guy Captain's expression at the end there perfectly mirrors mine watching this show. Brown-haired Hitsugaya used ghost-gundam spectral power! It's not very effective...Aaand she got vaporized by blonde guy. I wondered who it was that happened to during the ending. A shame, she looked pretty with her hair down. A new challenger appears! Is it Marida? I hope so if she isn't brainwashed...which she probably is.

[EmpressAngel]

JoJoIronically Wamu is voiced by the guy who constantly screamed "HAMMER!" in the dub of s-CRY-ed...I'm not joking.

Oh my god that is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

 

Jack- Jack needs some help. That kinda looks like a concerning amount of blood. Thanks, Warning Frog. Owwww. Go away, creepy ghost samurai! OWWWW. Someone really needs to hug Jack already. Hi doggie! Awwwwww tiny Jack is adorable. This is not adorable. Oh god that looks like some painful field medicine. Awwww doggie wants to be friends. I'm glad that life has taken a break from shitting all over Jack for a minute. "Remember son, talk shit get hit." Oh crap the girls are still here. Come on kids just leave Jack alone he's had a really rough week. False alarm it's just a deer. I don't like Bambi's odds here. Awww deers. Girls that's called love and you'd know that if your childhood wasn't fucking terrible. Or Jack could go ahead and kill them that works too I guess. Jesus christ Jack is not fucking around. Okay so reminder to never piss off Jack. Now someone get that man some shoes.

 

Jojo- God damn that boy is fuckable. Don't worry baby I love you more than all those guys love Wham combined. Smash me, baby. Okay what you wanna do is get that hammer and smash him right in the dick. You beautiful idiot what are you doing. That is surprisingly smart for him. Oh my god I love him. You can have me in your grasp any time. Assist from Caesar's ghost. Jojo lubes up his shaft, because this show is actively trying to kill me with thirst. That's also what he calls his penis. JUST WHIP OUT YOUR DICKS ALREADY. Oh this could be going better. Oh my god so much innuendo my brain is exploding. Christ, just nail me already. This fucking show. SHIT, DUCK. Why does everything I love have to die. FIGHT ME KARS I'LL KICK YOUR ASS. Eat shit, Wammu. Soooo much thirst right now. I'm so proud of Jojo he's amazing. How's that guy gonna hold a crossbow his damn arms don't work. Oh hey he's awake. Jesus christ, show. Soooo many dick jokes this week. SOOOO MANY DICK JOKES THIS WEEK. Bye horsepire. Punch him in the dick and steal his crossbow. Oh this is not gonna go well. DUCK, JOJO. Owwwww. Why can't I have nice things, show. Take a break, just put your face in my boobs and I'll rip his throat out for you. I'll cock your crossbow, baby. WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS, SHOW. Fuck every last one of you, you vampire bastards. He's so stupid he's fucking brilliant. Goddamn, I would go to war for those amazing biceps. Now piss on his corpse. You piece of shit. Oh this can't be good. Why does every character I love have to suffer painfully? This episode had so much innuendo, not even my filthy brain could take it all in.

 

Ghoul- Whelp, let's see how this goes. Those are some big fish. I appreciate the innuendo but I'm still trying to recover from Jojo's hammer. I do like bookstores buy me things. Buy me cake and it's a good date. Oh hey she's cute, is she the vampire? Eating disorders are serious business. HELLO TITTIES. Oh yeah this'll go well. She's gonna eat you and not in a fun way. You are either gonna get fucked or murdered there's no middle ground here. Murder it is. This is when Shinichi shows up with Migi and fights her right? Convenient construction accident, go! Boobs. Uhhhh, I don't think that's normal. This seems like a staggeringly bad idea, doctor. His friend is a good dude. Kid, did you not figure things out when you were literally attacked by a monster? EVERYBODY LOVES KRABBY PATTIES, SQUIDWARD. Get over it kiddo we all have to eat things we don't like, I'd rather subsist on mac and cheese instead of touching vegetables. He's gonna eat that toddler. That was a good knife, you bastard! Dude just go to the nearest morgue and eat a corpse. Hey, you found a friend! Whelp so much for your friend. Are you saying you're gonna fuck that corpse? Is everybody besides his friend a fucking vampire? I have no idea if this is a boy or girl. "I wanna shove it in my mouth but can't!" is my exact feeling about Joseph Joestar. Like a baby bird, kiddo. Well that was a thing alright.

 

Hunter- You fools, only a main character can beat Seitz in a fight. Solid hit from the turdworm there. Whelp spoke too soon he's dead. Do not let that man fist you. Hey kiddo you doing okay there? Ah, the ol' Hamon Hair Attack. Gonna hit a mother fucker with another mother fucker. Ewwwwwwww. I could have lived my entire life without hearing that, guy. Thank you, fisting man. Okay that could have gone better. Yeeeeeah good luck with that, kiddo. Again, can't that one dude literally rewrite reality with his shitty poems? Mole girl comes in with the save, I love her. Sorry dude you're still infested with leeches. Oh jesus christ that sounds horrifying stop fucking talking. I need lots of beer after hearing this. Eat shit, beer man. Meanwhile, bonding time for the goth and the clown. Maybe somebody should have checked him for a tracking device. He is in a real bad mood tonight. WATCH THE ROAD. Wow that's hardcore. And then they crashed into a mountain and died.

 

Gundam- Just shoot that kid. I feel like this is supposed to have any kind of impact on me at all but I still can't bring myself to pay attention. Kick to the dick. And we continue the proud tradition of me being dumb as fuck and not being able to follow any fight in this franchise. Cry harder, lady. And then everyone died. Y'know, two in the goddamn morning is kind of not a good time to try to process complex war commentaries with giant robots.

 

Naruto- Just gonna leave this here.

[FoleyisGood149]

Gundam

A new challenger appears! Is it Marida? I hope so if she isn't brainwashed...which she probably is.

I hope it isn't Marida, brainwashed or otherwise, in the black Unicorn Gundam.

Jojo... This episode had so much innuendo, not even my filthy brain could take it all in.

I guess I wasn't looking for it, and in that case I'm glad I missed it.

 

Jack - Jack was fortunate that the spiked weight on the chain didn't shred tendons or muscles in his leg.

 

It'll take some time to adjust to the candor of Jack and Inner Jack's discussions. As for this being the first time he had killed a human, he at least knew intellectually and from witnessed experience that the skills he started learning as a boy before Aku's attack on his home were skills that would enable him to kill people, if necessary, as it was when those assassins/that rival faction attacked his family's transport. He even took the merciful cue from his father to offer his assailants the chance to leave with their lives. As for the fate of the remaining Septuplets, I would expect the three with bloody torso wounds to die. However, since Jack will doubtlessly survive the fall, then the three who fell from the downed tree may survive as well.

 

I wasn't expecting to see the white wolf, but Jack being in its den was fortuitous for him. The shared warmth and food were a lot of what Jack needed, but mostly he needed time to regain his strength after that much blood loss. Still, two things struck me as strange. First, I didn't spot what Jack used to stitch his wound. How did he do that? Second, unless it took the remaining Septuplets several days to extricate themselves from the rubble of the tomb, I feel like they would've caught up to him before he could recover enough to fight them.

 

Did we know from the first series that Jack's father was specifically the Emperor? I knew he was an important nobleman, but I don't recall the first series telling us his actual title.

 

DBS - Whis was a downright decent guy this episode, and I was glad to see it.

 

Hm, so the shockwaves are powerful enough to reverberate through the universe. I don't think the effects magnifying as they travel is right, but eh. Here's hoping that disintegrated planet was uninhabited. Goku having to match not only the magnitude of Beerus' attack, but also its angle to exactly cancel it sounds tricky.

 

Regarding the altitude for the fight, as far as I know, Goku still needs to breathe, but the DB franchise plays it a bit loose with that. Reference how long Saiyans can hold their breath underwater and Bardock and the other Saiyans confronting Frieza for more examples of this.

 

DBZK - I like how Yamcha qualified his statement to Marron about her daddy being the strongest man on the planet as far as Earthlings are concerned, and Krillin provided a fine example of this with how easily he knocked Pintar out of the ring.

 

Yes, Roshi. I as well was more focused on that bikini-top chick next to you when Bulma and Chi-Chi argued than on them. Also, poor Oolong.

 

I liked the announcer asking Piccolo once again not to destroy the arena. Piccolo forfeiting the match was strange, and it does make me wonder about Shin's strength.

 

I get a bad feeling about Bidel's Videl's chances against Spopovitch and his tape-burning 'roid rage.

 

JoJo - Good thinking with the loose stones, Joseph. However, I feel like you ignored two factors in trying to reach the sledgehammer first. For one, you still need to drive your chariot, and that is a two-handed weapon. For another, this is a deathmatch, and now your opponent is behind you when you have no good opportunity to turn your chariot to face him. Still, he was able to deliver substantial damage with a hamon attack through another object entirely.

 

As for the crossbows, I find it strange that they had a steel shot for ammunition instead of bolts, but oh well. I guess bolts wouldn't work for the banking shots that used the curvature of the arena nearly as well as the balls would. Still, the balls would need to strike the arena wall at a fairly shallow angle to deflect along it and not simply smash into it. I doubt the bolt track would be able to impart that much stabilizing rotation that it would take over upon contact with the wall in the instance of a steep-angle collision. Plus, yes, the larger crossbow with the heavier bow would have a substantially greater draw weight. I'm somewhat surprised that they didn't have drawing ropes, because I thought I saw foot loops on the front of the crossbows to aid in cocking them.

 

Wamuu's powers were pretty freaky here, but not as bad as Esidisi's were. Wamuu hiding in a horsepire was unexpected, and I'm tempted to call shenanigans on him using the feel of the airflow with his horn to detect where everything was. Those fluid dynamics calculations would take at least one supercomputer to process, and he has to do that more than once per second to get an accurate and timely layout of where things and people were when. However, I will call shenanigans on Wamuu using his now-severed hands to grab Joseph. Once his hands were separated from the rest of his body, they would no longer be connected to his nervous system. Thus, even though the cells of his forearms and hands would still be alive and functional for at least a while longer, he wouldn't be able to detect the pressure of contact and send the voluntary muscle signal to his forearms to grab Joseph. If I saw what I think I saw, his arms were damaged above the elbows, so the attachment points for the applicable muscles in his forearms may still be intact, but he wouldn't be able to tell them to do what he wanted them to do when he wanted them to do it.

 

Even though Wamuu looks to have sustained more total damage, including the self-inflicted damage to his eyes, Joseph is in bad shape to continue fighting. He took a heavy blow to his torso, which will limit his breathing and thus his ability to generate hamon. Hamon is the only thing in his arsenal other than sunlight which can cause lasting damage to a ghoul, Pillar Man, or vampire. He'd better hope not only that he can survive Wamuu's Wind Mastery or whatever it was called, but also that Lisa can kill Kars, because Joseph will be in sorry shape to continue the fight if she can't.

 

TG - I'm down with ghouls eating corpses. It's essentially the definition of them as monsters. I'll even grant that fresher corpses will have more nutritive value. However, actively killing their victims seems like it would attract too much attention. I'm surprised that, given them being in the public consciousness and apparently how many there are (we saw no fewer than five in this episode), there's no concerted effort on the part of authorities to find a way to detect and eradicate them, like we saw with the Parasites. Maybe that's coming in a later episode.

 

Yeah, the Rize chick was definitely out of Ken's league. Still, good for him on scoring a date with a fellow reader (unless that was an act on her part to lure him in as prey). I would've pegged her to be a few years older than him, but eh. When she asked him to walk her home because she lives in the area where the attacks have been happening, that was a warning light to me. As we saw the area get more and more run-down as they walked, that was another warning light, but the giant flashing red light was when they were outside a construction site when she said this was her, indicating her residence. Unfortunately for Ken, he was focused too much on how pretty she was and failed to notice his surroundings (yet another dude walking into trouble because of his dick). After she attacked him, until we learn otherwise, I will credit him living to dumb luck that the cables holding the suspended load of girders (that is in no way a safe way to stage a load of materials, much less through the night when the site isn't locked. Someone should look into this construction company for other occupational safety violations) broke and the beams fell on her. Not only did that damage stop the attack, but the commotion is probably what alerted people to something being wrong, and he would've been discovered when they came to investigate.

 

I'm hesitant to accept part of the premise for Ken's driving conflict. If Rize had damaged his abdominal aorta, he would be in danger of bleeding out (or in) in a matter of minutes. It's amazing that he survived long enough for an ambulance to reach him, let alone make it onto an operating table. As for needing organ transplants, it's possible, but the main focus would be on stopping the spurting bleeding first. He could survive for several days without the function of several of his abdominal organs, which is to say long enough for him to stabilize before a transplant could be arranged. However, judging by this graphic, the abdominal aorta doesn't look like it directly supplies organs other than the bladder, possibly the appendix and part of the large intestine and colon. Haphazardly throwing ghoul organs into him was ill-advised at best, but professionally reckless is more like it. I didn't spot any wound to his upper torso which would've compromised his heart or lungs, but even then there exists specialized equipment which can take the place of those organs until a proper transplant could be arranged. Granted, those items may not have been at this hospital, but still, I don't think he would've needed them. Thus, if it was unnecessary for him to receive (an) organ transplant(s) of ghoul organs, then there would be no partial turning of Ken into a ghoul. Thus, he wouldn't find ordinary food unpalatable and wouldn't be starving while experiencing cravings for human flesh, which he finds appropriately abhorrent. Still, that's the conflict the author wanted, so it was time for plot-demanded stupidity on the surgeon(s) part.

 

As for the friend, he's a good dude, and thus I fear for his safety.

 

Was the ghoul chick at the end who shoved a piece of human flesh in Ken's mouth the same waitress hit on by Ken's friend? If so, I'll repeat that I fear for the friend's safety.

 

HxH - I didn't expect the Beasts to be victorious, but I did expect it to take more than one P.T. member, Uvogin, to kill those four. His Big Bang attack was impressive, but what caught me off-guard was his ability to bite through the Leech's head. Once we saw that, I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise that Uvogin could not only throw a rock with the force of a rifle round, but also spit a piece of Leech's skull with deadly results as well. As for yelling Porcupine to death, sound is a pressure wave, and pressure waves can be deadly from the internal damage they cause, but that's saying he can shout with so much force that his voice is like a grenade. Wow.

 

The leech infestation sounds awful, disgusting and painful. As for the quirk that a certain acidity is required for the larvae to hatch and the way to use that to rid oneself of them, I would guess that copious amounts of any beverage would work, but due to the increased urine production from the vasodilating effect of the alcohol, then beer would probably work better for the purpose of flushing out the larvae than most.

 

Looks like Kurapika's secret is no longer just between him and Melody. I guess it's a good thing she used her flute hypnosis or whatever that was to calm him down, since they did manage to abduct Uvogin. I just wonder if anyone will notice Machi's tracking thread and needle before they get where they're going.

 

Watch where you're driving, Kurapika! Do you even know how to drive? You keep that up, you're going to get everyone in that car, except Uvogin, killed.

 

MSG: U - Links, the Zeon people are simply observing Faye's first rule of combat - shoot the other guys before they shoot you. It's not like the Federation is simply going to stand down and let Zeon forces obtain the Box. Plus, I feel like there were more civilian casualties in the previous episode than here, and I credit the Federation forces for mobilizing some of their assets for that. However, it was foolish for the Federation not to scramble all pilots as soon as they could. Air cover can decide the outcome of a land battle. Leaving some of the aircraft to be destroyed on the tarmac was a bad decision, but I will admit that it's possible the pilots for them were killed already, meaning no one with training was available to fly them.

 

I can respect Links using a dirty move when he was clearly outmatched, but yeah, I felt bad for Zinnerman after the low blow.

 

I don't know why New Types appear naked in their psychic projections to one another, but oh well. It is pretty sad for the Zeon girl seeking revenge for he slain parents that it was her sole reason for living. Given the destructive power of her mobile armor's main weapon, Riddhe really didn't have a choice other than killing her.

 

Okay, a black Unicorn Gundam. That was unexpected. I wonder who the pilot is and where it has been all this time.

 

Shippuden - Okay, so Utakata was the 6-Tails' jinchuriki, and he was able to use its power not only to save the village, but also Hotaru and to remove the Forbidden Jutsu from her back safely. Good work all around there, Utakata. It sure sucks for you that Pain found you, though.

 

You're full of it, Naruto. If you really could feel Jiraiya's heart, you'd have known what it meant when his spirit touched your shoulder just after he died.

 

GitS - If not for the Major's nurse girlfriend, I doubt this case would be on Section 9's radar at all.

 

There must be a lot of robots constantly cleaning those organ-growing pigs' pens. I'll guess we didn't see them in action for the sake of both animation simplicity and decency.

[PokeNirvash]

Naruto- Just gonna leave this here.

 

Hmm, haven’t seen that meme before. And I’ve seen my share of JoJo memes.

 

A BIT OF DIALOGUE

Me: [turns TV on to TCM]

Kiss Me Kate: “I… hate… men~.”

Me: “Welp, that’s enough of that bullshit.” [starts watching recordings]

 

Oh, so it’s gonna be Pipes for the entire month-long anniversary extravaganza, huh. Guess I can accept that.

 

SAMURAI JACK

I can’t believe it… a talking frog! And the wolf from last episode survived its deadly encounter! Those scenes with it and Jack healing in tandem were rather nice. Oh, and the action this episode was great too, especially when it went full Kubo with the all-white background. Wasn’t expecting him to kill that many sisters, though I have a feeling Ashi isn’t quite dead. Considering her placement in the credits and there being one line from the initial trailer she has yet to say. Either way, next episode looks to be something a little more light-hearted, or at the very least trippy.

 

DRAGONBALL SUPER

Wait, so did Beerus stab Goku to help him out with awakening his SSG powers further, or was he really that unimpressed?

You’re supposed to say the title like it’s a question, narrator.

Way to ruin the mood, Goten.

Beerus is unimpressed by this filler nonsense.

Vegeta’s SHAFT neck-tilt game is strong right now.

Whis, you’re wonderful and it’s a shame that Vegeta can’t appreciate that fact.

“I could’ve sworn he was right behind me…” The irony is, he’s actually right.

BEERUS CHOP… DENIED.

Heh, Beerus is trying his hardest to sound at least somewhat dignified while powering up.

Oh hey, Satan City got a new welcome sign.

The waves gain strength the farther they travel. Huh, must’ve missed that when I watched this last night.

I assume that whole random pervy rant from the Elder Kai was what got this a TV-14.

Your reaction’s pretty much mine too, Supreme Kai.

Looks like they’re about to play a round of rock-paper-scissors instead of preparing to throw another set of punches.

Can anyone else see the feline influence in Beerus’s screams?

EL SHOCKWAVE NUMERO DOS.

“It’s a real good thing our planet’s sturdier than most!”

:-D This reporter.

Mr. Satan, you are awesome. It’s a damn shame TFS apparently killed you off in their most recent episode. We can only hope you’re only very badly injured there.

One best character saving another best character from sure peril.

“Does… this mean we’re safe now, blue guy?” “From the falling spacecraft, yes. Overall, no.”

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

Fuck yeah, classic Moltar video game review. Those MGS video graphics are dated as hell, but who even cares!?

Energy aura dragons what the fuck.

Okay, the delivery on Goku’s “BRING IT ON!” was perfect.

Huh, no shockwave this time.

STOMACH PUNCH.

Not even Beerus can believe Goku’s approach to doing things.

Goku’s philosophy is the same as Uvogin’s: be stronger than anyone or anything.

Oh shit he prepping a Kamehameha.

There’s your third shockwave.

Maybe those are to blame for my headache last night.

Huh, those random pauses on King Kai’s planet were weird.

Was the Elder Kai ever that short?

Oh look, another 14 set. [ufufu]

The beam struggle to end all beam struggles… LITERALLY! >

As destructive as that blinding light is, it sure is beautiful.

Fuck yeah, the original Japanese music is back.

TOP BILLING: Goku.

 

Tom’s thoughts on GITS: ‘Murrica edition? To be determined, but already less B.S. than his and SARA’s hype for Sand Whale and Me.

 

SAND WHALE AND ME

I have a feeling this intro’s gonna stay the same for the whole series.

Still don’t get what the video game angle is supposed to add to this.

That statue looks awfully Japanese for what I assume is an alien planet.

Now that’s what I call an air quality hazard!

KFC appears to agree, hence why she’s wearing a respirator.

SHAI HULUD MOTHERFUCKERS.

The hell did that sand whale even do to her, that’s making her flop around like she got dragon-breath directly to the face like last episode?

Sand whale bitches, I tell you what.

Oh well, at least she’ll always have her Green Peace.

Jury’s still trying to figure this one out.

Ah yes, there’s your delicious sand whale meat.

 

DBZ Kai will continue… right now!

 

DRAGONBALL Z KAI

Oddly eager? More like oddly smug.

That’s more like it, narrator. [thumbs up]

Don’t go there, Trunks.

UNLUCKY THIRTEEN~!

18 vs. Mr. Satan. It’s like Bio-Broly all over again.

THE STARTING LINEUP

• Krillin vs. Pintar
  
• Shin vs. Piccolo
  
• Videl vs. Spopovich
  
• Kibito vs. Great Saiyaman
  
• Android 18 vs. Mr. Satan
  
• Goku vs. Vegeta
  
• Mighty Mask vs. Killa
  
• Yamuu vs. Jewel

Hee, that 18/Satan matchup image is pretty cute in a badass kinda way.

Oh shut up, Human Genie.

You had Mr. Satan’s curiosity; now you have his attention.

That purple skin, white hair, and yellow earrings all look awfully familiar…

Goku and Vegeta haven’t even fought since the Saiyan arc, right?

Check it out, there’s furries in the band!

Check this out too, Erasa and Sharpner showed up for the event.

GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GERMS.

Erasa doesn’t know it, but her ship’s right on the mark.

Is… that a giraffe-man?

It’s weird seeing Yamcha be treated so nice. Then again, Cell did like him more than Vegeta and Tien (in abridged), so I guess it’s only natural at this point.

Goody gumdrops?

Does Goku getting blown up by Cell count as a loss? I’d think it does, even if King Kai was the biggest loser there.

There it is. Poor, unfortunate Yamcha.

“Who is gonna be king of the hill!?” Hank Hill, obviously.

Screw you, Pintar.

The air is as thick as Pintar’s body fat.

“…and this appearance marks his turn after a long hiatus and no less than two deaths!”

Marron is adorable.

“Anyone else feel bad for Krillin?” Everyone. Everyone feels bad for Krillin.

Coming this spring: My Newborn Can’t Be This Presidential!

Reflexes… like a cat!

RIGHT IN HIS DJEJUNUM.

Way to go, Krillin!

Up next: battle of the pointy-eared, color barrier-breaking extraterrestrials!

Piccolo is mondo recognizable.

You can do it, Piccolo! Overcome your nervousness and punch the smug right off that upstart’s face!

Oh hey, it’s Toriyamabot!

Crap, he just got creepier.

So creepy it’s worth forfeiting over, apparently.

Actually, he’s bound to the former guardian of this world. True, his life is tied to Kami’s, but it ain’t in any way tied to our one, our only, Super Kami Dende.

Ha ha! Green gills.

Whoa what the hell why are the instruments acting like this is a Disney flick?

I don’t trust this Spopovitch guy.

Clearly Shin does not like steroid abusers.

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

This episode was amazing when I first watched it last July, and it’s still amazing now. That chariot race battle lived up to the hype and thensome – putting the director of the first Initial D anime in the storyboarder’s chair helped with that – and the final shot Joseph made at Wamuu was legitimately surprising. The wonderfully cheesy lines the dub crew put in like “If he only had on some other kind of footwear!” and “A little Hamon for you and the horse you rode in on!” only made it all the better. This episode was what convinced me to give this first season of JoJo a 10/10, and I’m glad to be able to rewatch it here with all you guys.

 

Oh, so it’s both for personal revenge and the greater good. I can deal with that.

 

TOKYO GHOUL

Holy crap, even the bumps for this show are full of edge.

Not even AgK started with this much of a want for the obvious target audience.

Even the contracted assassins against the cannibal freaks are edgy as crap.

“I should’ve known a big man like you would carry a small weapon.” I see a sex joke in there somewhere.

EAT FISH WATER, FOOL.

Oh good, all she did was steal his pliers.

At least it looks pretty.

Not even a couple seconds onscreen, and Hide’s already laughing like he’s on pot.

“You can’t take her to a place called ‘Big Girl’.” Agreed, the name sounds stupid.

I can’t watch this scene without thinking of the #TIBA abridgement of this, where Hide’s high as fuck and Touka threatens to pee on his face.

Speaking of AgK, that chick who just walked in looks an awful lot like Sheele.

“You and her would be like Beauty and the Bonehead.” But Kaneki isn’t even voiced by Joel McDonald!

Blackmail for days? Blackmail for days.

Uhh, I don’t think goats lay eggs.

Oh man, is that a Ribwich? :420:

And then Hide got a text from Touka asking if he still wanted to do that R. Kelly thing.

These cops are pretty alright.

STEAK STEAK STEAK STEAK STEAK.

With that peep down her shirt, Kaneki started walking down the path to Sexual Harassment Overlord.

Quick, grab the sandwich while she isn’t looking!

Oh this is about to end badly.

These CGI cars are the best characters.

And now Touka wants to do the R. Kelly thing with Kaneki.

Green traffic cones? Goddammit Japan.

“Lemme show you what this mouth do~.”

No, not the books, they were the best characters!

Because the quiet ones are usually the freakiest.

Little did Sheele know that running away actually means you’re more terrified than if you don’t.

“I can’t afford to die, not again!”

Oh look, he got stabbed to death through the torso by a crazy bitch. Just like Ayumu and Issei before him.

INCOMING GIRDERS!

“How… could this… happen…?” It happened because of poor engineering judgement. Only in this case, it wasn’t as poor as it could’ve been.

At least she wasn’t consumed by a giant demon dog this time.

Oh boy, afterlife sex!

Black sclera and red pupil. That doesn’t spell any good.

And neither does his distaste for grilled salmon, apparently.

Hide’s gonna go back to listening to his unbearably loud rap music now.

Everything tastes disgusting? It’s official, get this kid a tongue transplant ASAP!

Okay seriously, Hide is the best character.

”You are the Power Rangers, while I am the one who knocks.”

Thank you for your wise insight, Fuhrer King Bradley.

Like I said, tongue transplants are the way to go.

He screamed because he squirted the spicy stuff onto his mutant tongue.

I don’t think that’s how cooking hamburger works.

Hide is a total bro, it’s a shame that he’s stuck in a series full of edgelords.

OW THE EDGE.

“This is all your fault, Sheele!”

Either he’s a Ghoul or that was a shitty kitchen knife.

Oh no, he’s giving into the edge. Especially now that he’s too edgy for knives.

“Where is it where is it where is-FUCKING MILK CRATES!”

As he feared, it was human flesh all along.

This ghoul seems like a pretty chill guy.

AND HERE COMES GLASSES GUY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP.

Rape allegories? Yep, this is officially the spiritual successor to SAO on Toonami, no doubt about it.

Fuck you, glasses guy. >(

In which Lyuze tells Casshern to leave Ayumu alone.

Thank you, Touka.

“Part of me wants to shove it in my mouth, but I know I can’t!” That’s how closet homosexuals feel every day.

And then she gave him a hand, like she promised. Better than her pee in his mouth, that’s for sure.

TOP BILLING: Kaneki.

Alright, I wasn’t expecting that little end bit, that was pretty good.

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

Personally, I’m curious as to what those other three Shadow Beasts’ powers are. Especially Porcupine’s.

“Alright, ladies and gentleman, the game… is Crazy Eights.”

Where’s the fucking merchandise?

WORM PUNCH!

Worm… punched.

He’s focusing his Nen! Which user does that sort of thing again?

Now that’s a Big Bang Attack.

Kurapika is now 100% pissed off.

Ooh, deadly body hair.

Meanwhile, this guy’s a Ghoul.

Way to go, waifu! ;D

Oh boy, now that’s the real freaky power.

And it makes you pee something more painful than kidney stones. Joy.

He… He just ate that guy’s head! ::spin:: Thank god it was the disgusting one.

Admit it, Kurapika, you knew they were going to lose as soon as they first appeared.

HARD. CORE.

[long, sustained yelling]

Uvo may be a bad guy, but I honestly enjoy seeing him kill all these scrubs in insane ways.

Kurapika is now officially ready to kill some motherfuckers. :-D

REPLY TO ANGEL: “Again, can't that one dude literally rewrite reality with his shitty poems?” Yes, but remember, one’s Nen is only as strong as the person using it. And Basho certainly isn’t as strong as Uvogin.

Suddenly, a field of flowers brought on by the sound of a flute?

Well, we the audience know about the Nen stitches, the Nen bullets, and my murder waifu’s vacuum cleaner. So… that’s a start.

Kurapika/Melody is my main hetero ship in this show.

Clearly you gotta pee the leeches out.

Or maybe Buff Blonde kid can do something about it, why not.

Peeing them out was the solution all along.

[Tarzan screech]

Don’t forget the beer!

Huh, Worm still had a little bit in him after all.

Kurapika ain’t fuckin’ around, Uvo.

Oh, so he’s an Enhancer.

He conjured a tiny knife inside his heart. Now that is hardcore.

“Kurapika, the road! Don’t forget the road!”

 

The Bite-Size Beat still sounds and looks like crap.

 

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM UNICORN RE:0096

Oh good, they’re finally starting to fast-track the already lengthy recaps. Well, only slightly, that is.

Long story short, Loni’s a c-word.

So much for your heavy weaponry, guys!

Dammit Banagher, don’t blame them for what’s clearly the doing of that Karen Strassman-voiced bitch.

Zinnerman’s gone full Holland Novak Parenting Skills now.

You’re biting the hand that feeds you, Banagher.

> Holy shit Banagher actually kicked him in the nads.

Good job staying out of this, Patrick Seitz.

I don’t even know what mechs are on which side in this fight. All I know is that Loni’s killing innocent women and children for no reason and Banagher just kicked Zinnerman in the nuts. That’s pretty much all this episode has been so far.

“Aren’t you on standby?” “Yeah, I’m standing by waiting for you to launch this damn thing!”

Zinnerman just doesn’t wanna be kicked in the face again, let alone his twins.

I don’t like her either, guy.

I am literally flipping Loni off right now.

Thanks, Riddhe, wherever you’ve been.

So the solution to the main conflict in that Boss Baby movie? EUTHANASIA!

Oh bullshit, curses can be broken if you try hard enough.

“Without this… I have nothing to live for!” Then kill yourself, you’ve already shitted up this show enough with your senseless slaughter.

Wait, you mean that daring maneuver actually worked?

Yeahhhhhhh don’t really care about that dude who just stabbed himself with his gun for some reason.

FUCK YOU LONI.

Gundam powers, activate!

And then Bright had flashbacks to another one of his series; not sure which one.

FUCK YOU TOO LONI’S DEAD DAD.

He may be a hypocrite, but you’re a c*nt.

She’s mentally regressed so much that she’s capable of saying only two words.

What the fuck are you doing Banagher just listen to Blonde Sasuke and kill the damn girl already.

Thanks, Riddhe. Thanks to you, it’s finally over. Loni is dead, and no one but Banagher cares.

Now Riddhe’s gonna shoot Banagher for being such an indecisive fuckup.

EVIL TWIN! EVIL TWIN! EVIL TWIN!

 

Like I said before, you could always just buy concealer.

 

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

Oh look, another obscure Kiguma reference.

“We’re boned, right?” “So, so boned.”

They’re lucky that the forbidden jutsu in question doesn’t work on the person using it and others if they’re close enough.

If there’s no blood, then chances are they’re still alive. Unless their name happens to be Mine, otherwise shenanigans.

RAMIEL NO JUTSU.

And this is supposed to be TV-PGL?

Turns out they were just wood clones, so it’s A-OK!

SAKURA PUNCH.

Oh, and ink clones too.

Now the odds are slightly more even.

AHH! A FIREWALL!

Hell yeah, bubble handcuffs.

NARUTO PUNCH.

The two sides of the coin in this case: freeing his hands was foolish, but they’re lucky he’s unable to properly attack with them now.

This is a dilemma that Naruto and Utakata have to fix on their own.

“Patricide? How dare you!”

Utakata has a point, it’s not like he killed his master on purpose, for as much as he disliked him in the heat of the moment.

The thoughts of Jiraiya’s he’s feeling now? His decision to name the sequel to the story of his life after Naruto.

Regardless, it’s kind of a relief that he isn’t using Sasuke as an example of one of his personal bonds.

At this point, absorbing the chakra is the only thing he can do.

And then he found himself in a work by Kubo.

Acceptance.

And now mutually assured destruction.

A single Rasengan was enough to do it.

Thank you, Jinchuriki powers.

Sai and Yamato feel left out.

Of the two filler characters voiced by Michael Sinterniklaas, I think I can finally say, Utakata > Sora.

And you’re gonna keep missing him.

I’ll admit, that’s a pretty nice-looking field.

“Did something happen to them?” Yeah, they had a run-in with a giant dog. His bark was bad, but his bite was worse.

Now that’s a bad omen.

Pain showed up, that’s even worse.

And then Hotaru was left hanging for a ridiculously lengthy amount of time.

Those bubbles contain his final will and testament.

Don’t really blame her for dancing in that field, honestly.

Definitely one of the more heartbreaking endings for a filler arc.

 

GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX

Huh, no opening theme this time. Must’ve cut it due to Sand Whale and the Tokyo Ghoul premiere.

[glances at scrolling text on title screen] Oh, so that’s what IV stands for…

That little girl is pretty cute.

Hopefully the mishap wasn’t part of some conspiracy.

Took me long enough to learn that Motoko’s question was out of sympathy.

Pigs with giant barcodes tattooed on their sides. I always thought that was pretty cool.

I always loved this Jameson guy.

The pig face icons in place of the password asterisks, and the CEO’s Jameson-type body as the cursor on the website are just two of the little things I love about this show.

It’s a real shame Boma never got his own episode.

Thank god for tracer bullets.

Those people in the restaurant who saw the (invisible) Tachikoma racing across it.

For a second, I was confused why those vehicles stopped, but I guess that ALERT was what done did it.

The main medical student’s name: Tomoaki Kokita. Also, that’s not black hair.

Oh boy! More terribly dated CGI from Toonami’s heyday! :-D

And that’s another uncensored profanity for the books.

This guy’s worry amuses me.

FUCKING OIL CANS!

Of course Togusa would think that was a little much.

The Major’s obviously taking this one personally.

Hey, anyone can be a yakuza if they try hard enough.

Door’s bent inward, window’s blocked by steel bars… This guy’s luck just ran out.

BEAUCOUP BUCKS.

Welp, that guy’s traumatized for life.

Poor Tachikoma.

I always liked that piece of exercise equipment Batou had.

“Stop hitting yourself.”

Was that a fucking Patlabor reference?

 

[it’s oshii’s block now]

[Blatch]

So... Tokyo Ghoul.

 

While I normally like Toonami's promos, the one they made for this one basically made it seem like nothing but Kanegi wanting human flesh, and that was a major turn-off. But as for the actual show, it was only marginally more acceptable. It's certainly very edgy, perhaps even moreso than Akame because it actually has a TV-MALSV blanket this time. And he still loves the taste of flesh... so much that he can't eat anything else, which I thought was funny. So I guess I'll be sticking with the show, and it doesn't even feel like a hatewatch right now.

 

I will say, however, that for as much as this show seems to have some intriguing mysteries, I already know of another one that does it with such much better efficiency. Look out for it on Wednesday. ;D

 

And Samurai Jack was great, as usual.

[FoleyisGood149]

TOKYO GHOUL

Hide is a total bro, it’s a shame that he’s stuck in a series full of edgelords.

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

Uvo may be a bad guy, but I honestly enjoy seeing him kill all these scrubs in insane ways.

Yeah, he's too nice a guy for this show. I expect him to die. Plus, Seitz does get some fun psychopath/battle junkie roles.

[PokeNirvash]

Following a 1.5-lap chariot race with enough twists and turns to constitute its own stage play, Joseph has managed to get the upper hand on Wamuu, a master strategist with several millennia worth of experience under his belt, and even destroyed his ability to use his Divine Sandstorm to finish him like he did Caesar. You would think the battle between the two would end there, but think again! Before Kars and Lisa Lisa can move onto their fight, Wamuu has one last trick up his sleeve to use against JoJo. He calls it his Ultimate Mastery... we call it his Trump Card.

 

Now before you get mad at me for making an Akame reference, Jack finds himself trapped in the belly of a beast with an unlikely acquaintance, Goku tries his damndest to keep his current beam struggle with Beerus from destroying the universe as we know it, KFC comes across what looks like the "key to survival" hidden within the sand whales, Piccolo learns Shin's true identity while Videl finds herself up against a steroid junkie, Kaneki's attempts to adjust to the Ghoul lifestyle prove even more difficult than he initially thought, Kurapika's capture of Uvogin sends the rest of the Phantom Troupe after him and the other Nostrade bodyguards, another Mobile Suit pops up to keep Banagher busy and this one is the Unicorn's evil twin, news of Jiraiya's death finally reaches the Leaf Village, and Motoko pays an anonymous visit to the information-rich Laughing Man chatroom.

 

8:00 - Dragonball Super #13 - Goku, Surpass Super Saiyan God! - TV-PGLV

...

11:00 - Samurai Jack #56 - XCV - TV-14V

11:30 - Dragonball Super #13 - Goku, Surpass Super Saiyan God! - TV-PGLV

12:00 - Sand Whale and Me #3 - Tin Whale - TV-PGV

12:05 - Dragonball Z Kai #111 - An Eerie Entity. Who Exactly is Spopovitch? - TV-PGLV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #23 - The Warrior of Wind - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-14LV (personal)

1:00 - Tokyo Ghoul #2 - Incubation - TV-MAV

1:30 - Hunter x Hunter #45 - Restraint and Vow - TV-14LV

2:00 - Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 #13 - Banagher Links, Soldier - TV-PGLV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #152 - Somber News - TV-14V

3:00 - Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX #9 - CHAT! CHAT! CHAT! - TV-14

 

Now to begin my self-imposed Internet ban until it's time to watch my recording of the April Fools' stunt.

 

[the most anticipated event of the year]

[Blatch]

He calls it his Ultimate Mastery... we call it his Trump Card.

 

Now before you get mad at me for making an Akame reference

 

How coincidental, because Sentai is holding an absolutely crazy sale on that show's premium set... which was an impulse buy for me. 8)

 

[Parasyte's there, too]

[PokeNirvash]

THIS IS A SCHEDULE CHANGE ALERT

 

12:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #111 - An Eerie Entity. Who Exactly is Spopovitch? - TV-PGLV

12:25 - Sand Whale and Me #3 - Tin Whale - TV-PGV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #23 - The Warrior of Wind - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-14LV (personal)

1:00 - Tokyo Ghoul #2 - Incubation - TV-MAV

1:30 - Hunter x Hunter #45 - Restraint and Vow - TV-14LV

2:00 - Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 #13 - Banagher Links, Soldier - TV-PGLV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #152 - Somber News - TV-14V

3:00 - Ghost in the Shell: STAND ALONE COMPLEX #9 - CHAT! CHAT! CHAT! - TV-14

 

[happy fools day]

[BUU8800]

Firstly, fuck April Fools. Secondly, fuck Titan likely replacing JoJo...though I'll still watch.

 

JoJo

So Wamu's ultimate attack is clearly where Man of Steel stole its climactic scene where Superman kills Zod. Oil + bandana = Wamu go boom? Wamu go boom. Wamu was done in by his own honor code, ironic. I still think Caesar's death was sloppily executed, but I can at least appreciate its hand in JoJo's victory here. Wamu the head is surprisingly badass...and talkative. JoJo took the antidote. Goodbye Wamu head, you may have come first, but Android 16's head was still a better death. Welp, only Kars remains, and showing his long locks must mean it's serious time. Kars revealed his horn to Lisa Lisa....uhhh...shouldn't you buy her dinner first? Bye bye underlings. Okay, finally we get to see Lisa Lisa in battle! Aaaand....she's down. Wow show, I never expected her to win(this IS the 80s and JoJo must defeat the final boss), but that was quite possibly the lamest, most anti-climactic thing you've done so far. Hell, forget possibly, that was laughably bad. Oh well, at least Speedwagon's back with robo-Von Stroheim. Hooray for Nazis? And...now Kars is using her legs as a guitar? Keep diggin' that hole deeper show. I guess he is easier to hate now though. And the contrast with Wamu was clearly intentional by the author. Oh, were we not supposed to know she's his mom yet? Oops...

 

Hunter

So the other shadow beasts arrived helping Kurapika's gang escape. Aaaand....they're jobbers too. No surprise there. Well the shrinking power was interesting I guess, and Nobunaga was funny. Seems Hulk muscley-guy's not a fan of being tortured. Can't say I blame him. Stop fawning over him Kurapika he's one of the guys you're after! That's better! I know Kurapika, I miss Tits too. That Karasu from YYH knockoff's good at torture apparently. Welp, Hisoka has a date to keep. So he orgasms at the thought of fighting the boss? An unlikely alliance is proposed. Better get back soon Kurapika, Hulk's been freed! And your leader's already dead! And if Hulk hadn't screamed everyone else would be too! "You tell the boss I'm not leaving because the plot demands that I don't so Kurapika beats me!" That's my guess anyway, and aren't those leeches still inside him? Honestly this has Kurapika's victory written all over it...hopefully it's not that predictable though.

 

Gundam

Brown-haired Hitsugaya's Gundam fainted! Brown-haired Hitsugaya blacked out! Heal from the nearest PokeCenter! So it really was brainwashed Marida afterall in the black Gundam...feel so bad for her. Welp, It's A Family Affair. So the female lead I find bland and uninteresting is here too. Oh wait, she's sticking up for Marida? Okay, she's not so bad then. Why is that one grunt wearing Meg's cap from Family Guy? Dumb luck? Strength? It's about Pokemon Brown-haired Hitsugaya! Once again, Fat Bearded Guy shares the same expression I have whenever watching this series. Is that Richard Epcar again back as the Tea Guy? Will he be disintegrated again? Was I supposed to recognize the dude in that picture? Stella! I mean...Audrey! Meg's cap guy said bitch! That roll looked tasty...damnit, now I'm hungry! Oh hey, new ed...was that Marida again?

[EmpressAngel]

Jack- Whelp guess not.

 

Jojo- Fuck you, Wham. DON'T TOUCH HIM I LOVE HIM. I love when Jojo whips out the lube. Nooo don't hit his sexy face. Ohhh that's disappointing. Assist from Caesar's ghost! He's so stupid he's goddamn brilliant. Bubble Buddy saves the day after all. And then he blew right the fuck up. Good job baby now come here and I'll nurse your probably several broken ribs while you stick your face in my boobs. Dude what? Awwww boyfriend you're too sweet. Meanwhile my next words are "Jojo, I'm gonna suck your dick." Aw fuck it's the vampires. Okay Wammu doesn't fuck around. He was a surprisingly decent guy for an ancient abomination. Hey buddy, Joseph Joestar has also turned out to be my reason for living as well. Okay so yeah, Wammu was by far the least terrible of the Pillar Men. These minions are like Venture Brothers henchmen. Kars is a dick. Oh my god, his hair is amazing. Lisa Lisa is the best and I love her. Yes he's a terrible fucking demon, but that hair is fantastic. I'll just take a regular Bloody Mary, thanks. Jojo you dumb shit just let her handle this. Helloooooo Lisa Lisa. Aim for his dick! Oh this is not gonna end well. LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE. Shut up Jojo he's not dead. SHIT. Whelp this didn't go well. FIGHT ME KARS I'LL KICK YOUR ASS. Boyfriend is going to kill them all. Fuck you Kars I'll fight you myself. Is it sunrise already? ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Literally the only time in my life I haven't been angry to see a Nazi. SPEEDWAGON! SMOKEY! No seriously, how does von Stroheim even fucking work? Someone get Lisa Lisa to the hospital. Kick him right in the dick, babe. No, maneuver him into my bed. What in the actual fuck. Okay I could have forgiven you for most of it after that sweet air guitar solo, but nope we're back to FUCK YOU KARS. I'm sure they can all have a good laugh about how Jojo was gawking at his naked mom once they survive this.

 

Ghoul- Just eat the arm, you whiny baby. Wow fuck you kid, cake is amazing. This old man is nice I don't trust him. Coffee, the ultimate lifesaver. That doctor really should have maybe reconsidered that organ transplant. And now he's being haunted by the ghost of the zombie that ruined his life. His friend is way too nice for his own good, I don't like his odds. Meanwhile, some kids fucking. Oh hey it's that zombie douche. Don't leave your friend alone with the murder zombie. Wait you're a zombie how do you eat? Whelp so much for the friend. God this kid sucks at everything. Crotch tentacle. And then he was Naruto. Go away, ghost skank. Just eat some dead bodies, dumbass. Oh dang he was awake. Who the hell is this guy? Who the hell is Jason? Wow, that was a short second half.

 

Hunter- WATCH THE ROAD, KID. Also you're like 14 where did you learn to drive? Y'all really should have been smart enough to check for a tracker before. That sure is some weird magic. I am the terror that flaps in the night! This guy talks like Christopher Walken. Dude's already got a bunch of slugs in his dick just give him a break. And then everyone died. Look I'm sure you're real good at this torture thing but if I were him I'd be a lot more worried about the dick slug issue. I'd take that deal, I don't wanna get killed by Dick Slugs McGee here. You killed Boobs, you bastard. That sure seems painful. Go away Hisoka nobody likes you. Time for another sweet flute solo from mole girl. Dammit Hisoka where did you even get this number? Oh something bad is about to happen. Whelp you're all about to die but please spare mole girl. Oh jesus it's an abandoned clown theme park you're going to get molested. I am uncomfortable. I NEED AN ADULT. Do not team up with the murder pervert clown it's not gonna end well. Nooot a good idea, buddy. Whelp that was easy.

 

Gundam- Someone shoot this kid already. Unicorns fighting each other would be much more entertaining if they were horses. Okay I really keep thinking that lady died already but I guess I'm proven wrong every time. I genuinely don't remember enough about this plot to know if that's true or not. Alright girl, seduce this kid for us and we'll call it even. Gonna be honest here, it's way too late in the night for me to focus on this plot. Aaaand we're back to Benedryl whining. "Don't worry, everyone just falls ass-first into a giant killer robot!" I also thought that blond kid was dead by now but again I stand corrected. You know it's really not comforting that the giant killer robots just pick random people regardless of any lack of ability or skill. Meanwhile, sandwich.

 

Naruto- I do not remember what was going on before I fucked off several months ago. I wish they'd both just killed each other. Dude was right, he really should have just ditched Sasuke a long time ago. I liked that bird eating move better when Jojo forced it on Caesar. Knowing Sasuke he's probably sucking several dicks at once. Oh right, angry murder boyfriend was a small child because I'm not allowed to have nice things. Shut up Sasuke you're terrible. Dude when even the obvious villain is asking "Hey kiddo you sure you wanna do this?" you might wanna rethink things. Oh god so many obnoxious frogs. Man, those two solid months where I ignored this show in favor of Jojo's sweet sweet muscles was a great time. Obviously, Ben Diskin takes all that personality that Sai doesn't have and tosses it all into Jojo. The lesson here is don't trust orphans. Good job, he left you a sudoku puzzle. He was a ninja you fucking moron, his job was to do dangerous shit. Sorry show I feel absolutely nothing here, and I spent several weeks sobbing over a cartoon whale.

[FoleyisGood149]

JoJo

And...now Kars is using her legs as a guitar? Keep diggin' that hole deeper show. ... Oh, were we not supposed to know she's his mom yet? Oops...

Yeah, that was so weird it made me laugh. Also, the real question is whether Joseph knows.

 

Ghoul... And now he's being haunted by the ghost of the zombie that ruined his life.

Worst. Date. Ever.

 

Jack and DBS - I didn't watch the Rick and Morty episode. I just checked in a few times in both half-hours to be sure that's what was still playing. As long as they don't skip the episodes which would have otherwise aired, I'll be fine.

 

Sand Whale and Me - What struck me was the size of the can KFC found. It made me wonder if this planet was once (or may still be?) home to a race of giants. However, KFC's mech getting a foot stuck by it punching through some crust on the ground might cast doubt on that, unless the crust has something to do with periodic flooding and subsequent drying of the soil.

 

Also, this is a pretty bleak landscape. Where does KFC keep getting fuel for her nightly fires?

 

DBZK - Spopovitch didn't look like he did much more damage (outside the energy blast) than his bulk would enable him to do. Yeah, Goku and Vegeta could tell Spopovitch exercised restraint, but what impressed me the most from him was his resilience. I liked how Videl reacted with shock and remorse when she thought she had unintentionally killed him.

 

Chi-Chi was shipping it hard, and I'm aboard for it, as was Toriyama.

 

Shin is the Supreme Kai. I feel like the importance of that is diminished by not seeing the Otherworld Tournament in which Goku fought for the chance to train under the Grand Kai, but oh well.

 

JoJo - Wamuu's detached forearms holding Joseph in place was still malarkey. While Wamuu was fatally dosed with hamon, he was still dangerous, and yes, air at a high enough speed and/or pressure could damage rock like that, even though Wamuu might actually need to be a bit closer than he was. I liked Joseph's two-stage explosion plan, because it was sneaky and deprived Wamuu of this weapon, and with it his last chance at honorably killing Joseph. While I will give Wamuu respect for killing the vampire interlopers, I can't say I really understand Joseph giving Wamuu blood. First, if Joseph injured his hand badly enough to bleed like that, then he wouldn't be able to stop the bleeding as quickly as we saw. Second, why take the chance that it would be enough for Wamuu to recover just enough to find another way to kill him (Joseph)? Third, why injure your hand if you thought there was even a chance you would need to fight Kars that night?

 

While not an honorable warrior like Wamuu, Kars was pragmatic. However, I would like to know how he made that vampire look like him in order to distract Lisa and score those likely deadly strikes on her. Using the not-yet-dead Lisa to force Joseph into making himself very vulnerable was a despicably villainous move on Kars' part, and it was worthy of a Big Bad. Joseph would be right to feel revulsion and hatred for such a conniving cur.

 

I never thought I would be glad to see SS troops show up as reinforcements, but since they saved Joseph and Lisa from Kars and his vampire horde, I guess I am. Thank you, Speedwagon, for making the UV floodlights man-portable. Also, hi there, Smokey. I hope you fare better than Caesar did. It's pretty dangerous to be a friend or ally of Joseph when there are Pillar Men around.

 

TG - Ah, so Ken wasn't clear of the falling beams, and those were what injured him such that he needed (an) organ transplant(s). Still, if Rize was injured so badly by them that she died, I have serious doubts that her organs would be viable, i.e. undamaged. I also find it even more difficult to believe that he survived long enough to make it to a surgeon's table, since he would have sustained additional serious wounds beyond those we saw her inflict. Also, the odds of them being compatible with him from an immune response standpoint would surely be low, since she would be another species entirely. Okay, maybe ghouls are genetically compatible with humans, but I can only hope it would be like the compatibility that donkeys and horses have, meaning half-breeds are sterile, so that part-ghouls can't have other part-ghoul progeny, since such progeny would introduce a homicidal trait to the human gene pool. There's enough human-on-human violence as it is. We don't need to introduce a genetic predisposition for it into the mix.

 

It's strange that the ghouls can enjoy the flavor of coffee. What about tea? Sure, there's no nutritive value to be found in either of those, but at least it's some measure of normalcy for Ken. While I can appreciate that Yoshimura was trying to help Ken, I also took notice of Yoshimura's line about there being plenty more from whence the flesh they fed him came, meaning at the least that there's a lot of that victim remaining, but it could also mean there's no shortage of humans for them to eat.

 

I get that Touka has only ever known a world of bloodshed in order to survive, and her experiences make her interactions with ordinary human society be superficial at best, because otherwise she might need to kill a human about whom she cared someday. However, Ken's situation has a more profound sense of loss to it, because he was engaged in human society. Maybe, due to some of his past loner tendencies, it wasn't as deeply as he could have been, but now he feels like he must sever those ties for the safety of friends and family. He feels like he has lost or is about to lose something she never had. There's a difference there.

 

Oh, crap. Ken didn't just get the partial conversion to ghoul from his transplanted organs. He got full-on auditory and visual hallucinations of his organ donor giving voice to his new maddening craving for human flesh. He was also unlucky enough to get the organs from a ghoul which derived particular pleasure from feeding, so she did it not just to live, but also for the enjoyment of it. At least Touka showed up in time to stop him from killing Hide.

 

The one ghoul from last episode was someone known to Hide. Given what we saw, I sure hope I'm right about ghouls and humans not being fully (ideally not at all) genetically compatible. At least Ken being there and tagging along forced the other ghoul's hand, which could well have saved Hide's life.

 

The colorful combat tentacles that sprout from a ghoul's back are strange. Dean and Sam sure are lucky their ghouls don't have those or the enhanced strength and durability which these ghouls enjoy.

 

Hi there, strange dudes. Who are you? Which are you, friend or foe to ghouls? Touka mentioned something about needing to escape the notice of some group. Are you from that group?

 

HxH - Lots of drugs sounds like a good way to keep Uvogin under control. At least he was willing at one point to let the Nostrade bodyguards live, so he's not completely bad. He even told them the truth regarding the missing items. Still, Kurapika had a point that they had slain comrades to consider, so no dice. Uvogin's durability being due to his strong nen makes sense for an Enhancer.

 

I can't say I'm surprised that the other P.T. members were able to make short work of the remaining six Beasts, especially when they needed to take the one alive in order to get the auction items and had him under control before attacking his five compatriots.

 

It's too bad for Dalzollene that the one P.T. guy could remotely control that gangster's body. Nice disguises, guys. It sure was convenient for Uvogin that Shizuku could use her nen power to extract the drugs from his body without sucking out all his blood.

 

Kurapika was lucky that his secret meeting with Hisoka got him clear of the mission to recover Uvogin. I'm cool with Hisoka giving information to Kurapika for his revenge, but I have trouble believing that Hisoka joined just so he could challenge the P.T. leader to a fight for the thrill of it.

 

MSG: U - Nooooooooo!!! Marida is the pilot of the Banshee. Now she's almost sure to die.

 

I don't know how Links was able to make the most recent La Place information secure, but okay.

 

Mrs. Vist had a point, Audrey. While it may not be on the terms you wanted for the remnants of Zeon on Earth, you did have a chance to use your voice to convince them to seek terms of peace. If you truly wanted to avoid more bloodshed, you may have missed your opportunity.

 

Bright was right. Almost every Gundam pilot has somehow lucked their way into being the pilot. Call it destiny if you want, but it's not so much that they chose the Gundam as the Gundam chose them. Still, each one had to make the choice at some point to continue to be the pilot.

 

Things don't look good for the crew of the Nahel Argama. It looks like they're being ordered into a set-up.

 

Shippuden - Don't be such an insensitive jerk, Naurto. Yes, Jiraiya was your teacher, but he was also a lifelong friend of Tsunade. She tried to discourage him from going on this self-selected assignment, but it didn't work.

 

Good luck with that code, guys.

 

I forgot about Itachi putting some trap jutsu in Naruto. I wonder how it will manifest.

 

Vengeance is a way of life for Sauce.

 

GitS - The live-action movie was much less dialogue-heavy than this episode, and that was fine. I think they selected a few tracks from the first theatrical movie for use in this movie as well. Also, I feel like a lot of the criticisms from fans before this movie came out were mitigated by this movie telling a completely different story. Still, I feel like they had Aramaki do one thing which was out of character for him. It's not that he would be incapable of it, but it's not the way he would choose to do things.

 

About this episode, the Major was right that the one especially astute guy should be careful, because corrupt elements in these companies wouldn't hesitate to have his physical body killed if they caught him snooping through data they didn't want known.

 

The "don't txt and drive" people would flip their lids at the last scene of this episode.

[EmpressAngel]

First, if Joseph injured his hand badly enough to bleed like that, then he wouldn't be able to stop the bleeding as quickly as we saw. Second, why take the chance that it would be enough for Wamuu to recover just enough to find another way to kill him (Joseph)? Third, why injure your hand if you thought there was even a chance you would need to fight Kars that night?

1. Probably healed himself with hamon and they just didn't show it.

2. Boy's kinda dumb as hell and doesn't think things through.

3. See above, thank god he's pretty.

[PokeNirvash]

I never thought I would be glad to see SS troops show up as reinforcements, but since they saved Joseph and Lisa from Kars and his vampire horde, I guess I am.

 

The "don't txt and drive" people would flip their lids at the last scene of this episode. [/color][/size][/font][/b]

 

So we’re gonna keep calling Stroheim and the other German soldiers the S.S. even though they’re technically the Wehrmacht? Eh, sure, whatever gives us more fuel for Nazi jokes.

 

They’re lucky that the Major is a great multi-tasker.

 

As regrettable as the postponement of Samurai Jack this week is to many of you, and as rageworthy as it is to certain others (FUCK YOU BEN), you gotta realize that [as] is always gonna be [as], no matter how loud you scream about your dislike of it.

 

RICK & MORTY STEALTH PREMIERE

Rick escaped from prison that easily? And we didn’t even get to see it? Is this some sort of dream?

Yep, definitely a dream, unless Jerry’s actually that flexible.

Oh hey, that guy’s from the same race as that murder-lovin’ guy.

FART JOKES.

Eh, the Federation taking over Earth is actually kind of a boring move.

Don’t be a forceful jerk, Conroy.

It was arousal all along.

Are those shadows supposed to be Rick’s wife and Beth?

Yep, definitely Rick’s wife.

You’re crazy, Summer, but yes, Rick has a secret lab and your parents found it during one of their many marriage crisis plots.

KEEP CALM AND WACK OFF.

Ah yes, the corpses of this universe. And Morty’s having a PTSD fit over them.

Mulan was made in 1988?

“I used to wear blue pants. And then the company that made them stopped making them, so I switched over to brown.”

Dead Rick still had his portal gun when he died. Awesome.

FUCK YOU CONROY.

Welcome to Cronenberg-verse, population 3.

INFINITE RICK.

I’m pretty sure someone famous is voicing his wife.

FUCK YOU CRONENBERG JERRY.

FUCK YEAH COUNCIL OF RICKS.

Well… yeah.

FUCK YOU ALTERNATE UNIVERSE RICK.

The one true thing to learn from this commercial: Hardees > Carl’s Jr.

No way, that ad took up the entire commercial break?

FUCK YEAH RICK.

Sucks that his origin story was more or less faked, though.

Rick’s lucky he bodyswapped before those guys came in.

And he’s lucky he bodyswapped there too.

Oh hey, more unique Ricks! Black Rick’s okay, but Morty Rick is my favorite.

But of course, our Rick is the best Rick.

Rick, you a madman.

HAMMER TIME.

Okay, for all the conflict and shit that was happening there… that whole scene played out pretty damn good.

Morty didn’t know. Classic.

Because the easiest kind of ruin is the economic kind.

CLASS WAR!

Ah, so that’s where all the humans disappeared to.

There’s that feeling again. The feeling that you know something’s going to happen but you don’t want it to.

Heh, the dad fly trick worked.

RICK AND MORTY NINE MORE SEASONS RICK AND MORTY.

Wait, so who’d Nathan Fillion voice?

Fuck yeah, Bird-Person is back! And Tammy still loves him! Thank you, writer’s room.

 

I think I remember this Hardees/Carl’s Jr. commercial. As long as they don’t air the Aqua Teen one next…

 

TOONAMI

FUCK YEAH SPECIAL INTRO SEQUENCE. :fap:

 

DRAGONBALL Z KAI

Krillin beating Pintar was a wonderful experience.

I have a feeling Shin is acting creepy on purpose.

As much faith as everyone has in Videl, I’m surprised no one’s noticed how seething Spopovich is.

This dude’s angry ‘cause Samurai Jack got postponed for four hours of the same Rick and Morty episode. AS A GOOF.

HE’S GREEN WITH SHOCK!

“So this is what it feels like to be Krillin.”

Oh King Kai, you eavesdropper.

He also has literally thick skin.

Spopovitch looked better with the hair and mustache-beard combo.

I-Is his buddy floating!?

Vegeta knows what’s up.

That poor announcer, and those clever as all get-out dub writers.

Chi-Chi’s gonna be sorely disappointed when she learns of the lack of femdom when Gohan and Videl do get hitched.

BOLSHEVIK RAAAAAAAAAAGE!

You think kicking him in the nuts would do anything?

Goku knows what’s up too.

You gotta love that HD ’90s-era CGI.

LET THE RYONA BEGIN.

Oh Chi-Chi, if only you could see into the future.

Thank you, levitation abilities.

“She can fly!?” No, jump good.

That does sound very concerning.

Oh Mr. Satan, if only you knew…

All she can do now is dod-well, I guess head-kicking him works too.

NECKSNAPPER.

Yamcha makes a good godfather.

“This is truly a tragic turn of events indeed.” Oh, but it’s only going to get more tragic from here…

Holy shit Spopovich the hell are you even. : o

LET THE RYONA REALLY BEGIN.

“Is flying the new thing or what?” Apparently so.

An upset to end all upsets indeed.

Whatever happens next, it’s bound to be ugly.

 

SAND WHALE AND ME

I assume the TV-14DLV rating was an accident.

The black sands are a nice touch of setting.

Oh hey, it’s the tin can from the original interstitial!

Silly woman, you’re never gonna open the can that way!

Just like in GITS. The good one, that is.

I’ll never understand that weird horror sting whenever she looks at her can of Green Peace.

Next time: companionship!

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

SCREENCAP #1: If this was on DeviantArt and not Imgur, a lawsuit would’ve happened by now.

Looking pretty Boondocks there, Wamuu.

Wind can be crazy powerful if you pressurize it hard enough.

PILLAR MAN POWERS ARE BULLSHIT BUT I BELIEVE THEM.

Molotov cockteasetail… DENIED.

CAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEESAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

And now for random opera music, complete with expositionary dialogue!

Now that plan deserves a round of applause. [claps hands]

Truly Wamuu was the best of the three Pillar Men, even if he did technically kill Caesar.

“… and as a warrior, it would now appear that you stand taller than I do.” Well yeah, you are just a head now.

Holy shit Wamuu didn’t think you’d do something like that.

And that’s two rings down.

Truly the best Pillar Man indeed. T_T7

Kars was such a dick.

And apparently he still is!

OH NO HE’S HOT.

SCREENCAP #2: Kars posing for Tiger Beat.

To them, the Red Stone is like a cross. They stand in fear of it, because it is their weakness.

OMAE WA MO SHINDEIRU.

Gender isn’t even going to matter in this battle.

Pies Bernina? Bloody liquor? What madness is this?

Lisa Lisa’s got this, Joseph, it’s best to stay back.

“Feel free to pick anything you like.” “Okay, I choose none of them!”

Fighting without violence is like directly procreating without sex. It takes a true master to hone their craft to that point.

Turns out he was attacking from behind!

Hmm. That was easy.

BUT APPARENTLY NOT SO.

Joseph is now officially mindfucked. And Kars is officially a total dick.

Then what does that make Esidisi?

SUDDENLY VAMPIRES.

Oh hey, he can do the Zoom Punch too.

INTERRUPTION.

Okay, I can see now why not many people think the voice acting for Kars is inconsistent.

SURPRISE ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT.

FUCK YEAH VON STROHEIM.

And Speedwagon too! Oh, also Smokey.

Oh hey, he made it up there while he was distracted.

Because Caesar, Wamuu, even Esidisi had things about them Joseph could appreciate through all his frustration for them.

But first, an improvised guitar solo? And it’s the Dueling Banjos tune, too.

You know, Lisa Lisa being Joseph’s mother would be a twist, but luckily those smart enough to have remembered Smokey’s comment that the baby Erina saved from that shipwreck was also Joseph’s mother would’ve made that connection two episodes ago.

 

Huh, never thought to put fast food bags on the dashboard before. I’m still gonna put them in my passenger seat, though.

 

TOKYO GHOUL

I honestly don’t know whether to feel sorry for Kaneki or get kind of aroused at Touka beating him up.

She was born a Ghoul? She’s right, that does suck. And I’m curious as to how that’s even possible.

Well, at least she’s less of an edgelord than that other guy.

Wait, are they mixing the Japan broadcast edit in with the uncut version? I’m legit confused right now by that black head.

And at least the OP’s good too.

Oh good, another Ghoul who’s actually kinda nice.

The coffee was actually palatable. Lemme guess, human blood mixed in with the coffee grounds.

Or maybe coffee’s just the exception to the whole “can’t eat any regular food” rule of nature, that works too.

Don’t be edgy, Touka, it doesn’t suit you.

“THINK UNEDGY THOUGHTS THINK UNEDGY THOUGHTS THINK UNEDGY SHIT IT’S NOT WORKING!”

Ghost rape?

Saved by the ringing of his phone.

“Sub: You’re gonna die alone” That’s some pretty heavy shit, Hide.

Okay, I’mma just assume that was sarcastic.

Lost in his own flashbacks.

WORKPLACE SEX A-GO-GO.

That hairstyle. Those glasses. Could it be…

IT IS! IT’S THAT PRICK!

And he looks like he’s about to rape Kaneki at any given moment.

Flashbacks mixed with hallucinations are just the worst, aren’t they?

What is that ringtone even?

Blond coffee.

He was able to stomach that? Either he’s a purger, or he got himself one of those fancy tongue transplants I was talking about last week.

I suspect that he’s a Ghoul. Did you not see his rapeface earlier?

Oh man, I really hope Hide survived that power kick. :-\

“You smell just like a female Ghoul!” Okay listen to me show I was only joking about the gay Ghoul rape, don’t make Nishiki go full Sugo on Kaneki, I beg of youuuuuuuu. :::

Yep, he’s a purger. Also, shut the fuck up about human food making you want to vomit, it got old during Touka’s FUCK CAKE rant.

KILL HIM KANEKI. KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER.

Seriously Kaneki, punch that smug fucker’s face in and never ever stop.

My hate for Nishiki these past few minutes surpasses Joseph’s hate for Kars over the same length of time.

FRIENDSHIP POWERS, ACTIVATE!

YES YES YES YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YEAH KANEKI KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER TILL HE’S NOTHING BUT A BLOODY SPLATTER FUCK YOU NISHIKI DIE DIE DIE AND NEVER COME BACK GET RAPED IN GHOUL HELL YOU MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKER CUNTFACE!!!1!11!!!!!111!ONE!!!!!!!!!! >

“He sure looks delicious~.” “Don’t you fucking do it…”

At least Kaneki getting raped by Ghost!Rize has the potential to be kinda hot.

Literally foaming at the mouth.

Shut up, Touka.

Or maybe not, go get ‘im, girl.

That was a really long first act.

Oh good, it’s the only good Ghoul character in this show.

So he fed him frozen corpse parts?

Old man, you are now my favorite non-human character in this show. Touka comes in second, because she’s cute but way too edgy sometimes.

REPLY TO ANGEL 1: “Who the hell is Jason?” Remember that hockey mask guy who confronted Kaneki’s zombie girlfriend at the start of the first episode? That’s Jason. Also, that is a very non-subtle naming choice they did with him.

I think this guy may be the edgiest this show’s come up with yet. You can tell by the ghost-white hair.

TOP BILLING: Kaneki.

> These end-of-episode omakes are the best. If there was one thing I needed more than Kaneki stabbing Nishiki to near-death, it’s him spreading rumors of him being a literal shit-eater. ;D

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

Kurapika doesn’t mess around when it comes to hunting down the Phantom Troupe.

REPLY TO ANGEL 2: “Also you're like 14 where did you learn to drive?” Actually, Kurapika’s 17. He could’ve gotten his license before taking the Hunter Exam too.

Because how else can you flee a scene if you want a successful escape?

“Looks like we’ve got a tail!” “Hmm, looks like a BMW to me.”

NEN VISION A-GYO-GYO!

So much for your tracking device.

Shizuku gets the passenger seat because she’s the best girl. :-D

It’s a good think Franklin went on a beer run, otherwise it’d be even more cramped.

SUDDENLY MORE SHADOW BEASTS!

“I see you have glasses. I have glasses too.”

Magic fun cloth.

Oh no! Nobunaga’s got a case of the googly eyes!

Thank you, improvised bag of holding.

He only caught Nobunaga.

Yes, that would explain the disappearing merchandise.

Looks like the rest of the Shadow Beasts are all here.

Can’t tell if that one guy sounds more like Wamuu or Esidisi.

Does that mean we’ll see the lethal properties of her Nen Stitches now?

This guy sounds black, has to be Esidisi.

Or maybe not, Feitan and my wife have this.

It’s a good thing Kurapika’s eyes are back on the road.

Eh, implications work too.

“You goddamn jerks!” Welp, that’s the strongest profanity I’ve heard outta this show thus far.

I think Nobunaga’s gonna be another fave of mine.

Surely it hasn’t been too long.

“Dammit, this was the Boss’s favorite sword!”

Don’t underestimate Uvo. The Shadow Beasts did, and look where they ended up. :

Yep, that’s the truth all right.

I’m loving Kurapika’s theme song.

KURTA PUNCH!

Man, they really trashed this place. Makes sense, being abandoned and all.

It’s too easy to torture cowards for information.

FUN FACT: Hisoka and the head of the Phantom Troupe are voiced by Speedwagon and Smokey respectively.

But Kurapika wasn’t even there for that scene.

Oh man, he even sent him a heart emoji.

Interesting power that blonde kid’s got.

Of course Hisoka would want to meet up at an abandoned carnival.

This conversation is going better than one would expect.

Hm, Kurapika isn’t surprised that Hisoka’s a Spider.

The most terrifying things on the block right now: Spopovitch, Ghouls who want to eat/encourage eating Hide, and Hisoka’s erections.

Oh my, a Kurapika-Hisoka teamup? That sounds exciting! :-D

I’d feel sorry for that dude, but he was listed as a minor character, so I’m not really surprised. Also, I knew they were Spiders as soon as I saw the older blonde dude’s face.

My wife really rocks that suit.

“I’m gonna find that-“ [recording cuts out] …You’re gonna find who now? Kurapika, maybe?

REPLY TO BUU: “…and aren't those leeches still inside him?” Yes, that’s why Franklin’s out spending the rest of the Phantom Troupe’s yearly budget on beer.

Uvo doesn’t want treasure. He wants blood.

 

Left and Right Twix deserve to be together because these commercials are retarded.

 

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM UNICORN RE:0096

Banagher, you pussy.

The Black Unicorn looks pretty neato.

“Thank god none of that wreckage hit me.”

Banagher, you’re useless. And also a soldier, apparently.

Should’ve known it was Marida in there.

Well, at least he isn’t freaking out as badly as Kaneki was earlier.

This guy sounds different.

For a woman with an ugly face, she sure does have a nice ass.

Oh, so Mineva’s with her too.

Good job telling her off with such subtlety, Mineva.

Hey look, Newtype dolphins!

That’s Riddhe hiding behind that wall, right?

So Prison Break has moved to the Middle East, huh? I’d have guessed Mexico.

Bright finally meets Banagher at last. SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE.

Wait, what’s he keeping secret?

Wow, not even a single slap. I appreciate your restraint, Bright.

Oh yeah, most Gundams were accidentally stumbled upon in this timeline, weren’t they?

“She’s the one who everyone’s calling Mineva Zabi.” “Well, that’s her name, stupid.”

This girl looks pretty cute.

This guy, meanwhile, sounds like Griffith from Berserk.

Midas sure loves his tea.

Michelle Ruff’s character is pretty cute also.

I love obvious spit takes.

AMURO~.

I feel like these black-suits are being a little too grabby with him.

Now is Bright gonna smack his shit up?

FUCK YEAH BRIGHT’S MEN.

I’m still disappointed that he’s slapped him yet. Even so, Bright’s a cool guy.

I sure do love these camera angles.

MAKE YOUR OWN SANDWICH.

Shut up, flashback narrator ugly lady.

Oh yeah, new ending theme!

 

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

Welp, Utakata’s dead.

Naruto, meanwhile, is super tired after having to deal with filler for the past two months.

Itachi speaks the truth.

TSUTOMU OHSHIRO SAKUGA SPOTTED.

“However…” [audio cuts out] …However what!?

Itachi could also predict the future.

Clearly he’s suggesting that Naruto needs some Ninja Brain Training.

And that’s how he became smarter than his previous filler self.

IT’S CROWJOB TIME.

Okay, I’m curious as to what this power he gave him is.

Huh, so he caught Bee after all.

That Sasuke kid sure likes doing whatever the hell he wants. :

Is it hard to believe that Sasuke is less edgy than Tokyo Ghoul?

So… classism is bad?

Yeah, still hate Nishiki more.

MEANWHILE, AT THE HIDDEN CLOUD FITNESS CENTER…

No way… Beau Billingslea?

Okay, not ten seconds of screentime and I already love the Raikage.

SURPRISE KAKASHI.

I always preferred Gamakichi to Gamatatsu, to be perfectly honest.

Suspicion levels: rising.

Oh look, more toads.

Dangit Naruto, now’s not the time to act all jerk-like. Hadn’t you even noticed the heavy atmosphere yet?

Yes, “Pervy Sage” is indeed a fitting nickname.

AND NOW HE KNOWS.

I don’t know what’s with this Grim Reaper and his X-ray specs, but him singing “I Will Survive” in the original voice was just perfect.

Huh, never noticed that Shizune’s irises were also black.

Here’s a bunch of information we already know about.

9, 31, 8, 106, 7, 207, 15. What’s that, his area code?

I understand your frustration, Naruto, but calm down.

He’s going to cry in private.

Remember that time Jiraiya chucked Naruto into a steep ditch lined with sharp, pointy rocks? Of course you don’t.

And that there was the first hint that the Fourth was Naruto’s dad.

“I wonder what that was all about…”

 

GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX

There are a lot of things I enjoy about this episode. The Laughing Man wannabe in the chatroom being voiced by JYB, the Laughing Man’s micromachine company blackmail being trolling their properties with his image, that one chat message that was just a spam of the katakana for “homo” (and another from someone claiming to be Nanao A), that gasmask-wearing band whose name was recycled into posters seen in Angel Beats and Charlotte, middle-aged tracksuit Steve Blum making the conversation interesting by merely mentioning his snooping around on the day of the assassination attempt, that little hint at the annoying-voiced chatroom leader being from that facility Togusa’s gonna sneak into in the next two episodes, and Batou apparently telling Motoko about a recent offscreen happening while she was blind-driving. I knew I rewatched this a lot when I was younger for a reason, even though I could barely understand what they were talking about.

 

[p.s. Nishiki Nishio is a shit-eating son of a bitch]