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Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier


PokeNirvash

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Jojo- He'll be fine who needs a body anyway. I'm sure this has nothing to do with Dio or anything. KILL THAT MASK, SPEEDWAGON. Awww they're getting married. I like his new hat. Aw fuck Dio's in that coffin. Speedwagon is just the best guy. Get some booty, Jojo. This is going way too well for them. Goddamn drunk priest is gonna ruin everything. Honey you're gonna learn how to slam down a bottle of wine. Oh fuck you guy, just let the man get laid. Whelp there goes the priest. At least Dio's just a head in a jar how much harm can he do. Okay a lot of harm apparently. If he still had a body, it would have a boner right now. Noooo go back to your room before you die. Oh I'm sure you'll take his body alright. Hey look, it's that guy who assaulted you back in the day. Well this could be going better. Lady you might wanna run away now. And then the zombies came. Wow, this is a really rough day for them. This is where Speedwagon barges in and saves everyone right? Ohhh this is not good. Jojo isn't that gonna kill your wife anyway? At least he gets to die nestled in that rack. Well that's a shitty way to end things. SOMEONE LEFT A BABY. Oh goddammit Dio. Everybody zombie night! This just keeps getting worse for Jojo. "My velvet boudoir" just sounds hilarious. Okay it's definitely time to get off the flaming boat of death now. At least he gets to die nestled in that rack. RIP Jojo. Oh thank god I thought Dio was gonna pop out of that coffin. We can take comfort in the fact that Jojo got to hit that.

 

Jojo Again- Aww Grandpa Speedwagon. I'm glad Speedwagon has done well for himself. Oh god so many fucking masks. Hi, new guy. Well now I want soda. New guy is a douche. Well we're off to a great start already. Hi new Jojo! Do not fuck with new Jojo. New Jojo is doing things for me. Oh good things worked out for Erina. Just take a sledgehammer to that entire cave. You stay away from baby Jojo. Lil Jojo has some issues. Oh fuuuuck. You son of a bitch I trusted you! NOOOO SPEEDWAGON WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE DIE. Dio continues to ruin things even from beyond the grave. Don't you touch Speedwagon! That sure looks painful. Oh god these accents are beautiful. Kick his ass, granny. I like Smokey I hope he doesn't die. Speedwagon fucked your grandpa. Oh hey I was about to ask what happened to that baby. Racist dickwad time. KICK HIS ASS, JOJO. I love Erina. I love new Jojo. No you're lying, Speedwagon gets better and continues being a perfect human being. New Jojo is just the best. Welcome to Starbucks. Jojo's boob question cracks me up. Oh fuck it's a vampire. Holy shit new Jojo does NOT fuck around. Aww he's crying. I'm glad we get to keep Roundabout. At least Speedwagon can finally reunite with his true love.

 

Hunter- Hisoka doesn't give a fuck. Was this your card? I'm already confused. Math, the only thing more terrifying than a clown boner. What in the actual fuck. Well now how are you gonna jerk off. How the shit does that work? Dude you already lost as soon as you let him start monologuing. MAGIC FIST, GO. Never fight a clown to the death they have no fear and enjoy human suffering. Go put your arm back on. Why does that girl look exactly like Killua with different hair. Girl I don't know who you are but you're lucky he hasn't murdered you. That's a nifty power. The right arm is more expensive because it's his jackoff arm. That's also a nifty power. This girl is having none of his shit and I admire that. I am not really following this explanation at all. The only thing I'm getting from this is that Hisoka is goddamn terrifying. What she means is no jerking off until you heal. Well that sounds ominous. Meanwhile, adorable children being adorable. This is not a shower scene I wanted. Oh hey it's the spider thing. Well that's creepy.

 

Naruto- Enough with the Uchiha angst get back to someone I don't hate. Or we could go back to the orange douche, because this show has a personal grudge against me. If you threw a bunch of bugs at me I'd just give up and cry forever. Dude you escaped having to work with the moron squad last time you should be thankful. As soon as Naruto speaks, everything goes to hell. Flytrap man continues to be the least terrible part of this thing. Flytrap guy knows eactly where he is I don't think you're gonna find him first. I finally get a rare triple Travis scene and it's in Naruto of all places, because the universe is just fucking with me at this point. Sasuke does not want to be your boyfriend just give it up. Thanks, creepy guy watching a teenage boy sleep. Oh fuck me it's story time with the orange douche. Dude your eye's getting funky. Uchihas, continuing to be dicks even after death. This sounds like it will be stupid and poorly explained.

 

One Piece- Oh hey new OP. Oh hey new uncut OP. OH HEY NEW UNCUT OP WITH ACE. I enjoy seeing Moriah in pain. Luffy might be dead. Okay so somebody else go beat the shit out of him. Awww fuck. And then everyone died. Oh hey Zoro. Oh hey everybody. I love Brook so much. Oh god Luffy's got a plan we're all gonna die. Meanwhile, Franky builds a goddamn cannon. Those Robin legs are definitely someone's fetish. Ice to meet you, motherfucker! Just go with it Brook your concerns are meaningless. Straw Hat teamwork is the best. Oh fuck my body hurts just looking at that. Y'all might wanna move. Even the zombies are impressed. Oh hey Cindry. Oh hey other Lola. Uhh guys there's the sun you might wanna get your shadows back like right now. Well at least Brook gets to live. Oh man he is looking all kinds of batshit crazy. Alright Brook you're strong and have a shadow, you beat the shit out of him. Ohhh that cannot be a good thing. We get it you took all the shadows. Well now you're even uglier so who's the real winner here.

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Tonight's Hunter kinda disappointed me. I remember reading on the old board how later arcs have entire episodes literally just explaining certain moves in battles, and this felt like a precursor to that. It also felt like World Trigger's rank wars where they'd spend alotta time explaining why which team won after. Problem is whereas in World Trigger I was invested in the analysis because I liked the characters involved, here I was pretty bored because I don't give two shits about Hisoka outside of being a wall Gon must eventually overcome, or the new pink haired girl. Although the end spider tease with the guys Kurapika are after was kinda interesting. And I guess it was intended to highlight the possible uses of Nen, but still pretty boring.

 

EDIT: Also, couldn't help but be reminded of Naraku's spider shaped burn mark. I honestly dunno which came first manga wise as the two premiered right around the same time, but think about this: Inuyasha ended 8 years ago, while HxH is still ongoing with 200 fewer chapters than Inuyasha has. Hiatus x Hiatus indeed.  ;D

 

EDIT 2: Inuyasha manga began about 15 months earlier so it came first.

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Jojo Again... Grandpa Speedwagon... Just take a sledgehammer to that entire cave.

 

I like Smokey I hope he doesn't die.

 

I finally get a rare triple Travis scene and it's in Naruto of all places...

 

That might work for the Masks, but I feel like it would only unleash encased-in-stone Dio on the world again.

 

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?!? Now he's doomed.

 

Maybe the show is trying to make some kind of amends to you.

 

BUU: I found the nen uses interesting. I like that it didn't show the audience what Hisoka did with the sticky nen threads until afterward, because it wasn't something which was supposed to be readily discernible unless a character was focusing their nen to see it, which neither Kastro nor Killua were doing.

 

DBZK - It was great to see Trunks defeat the Androids in his time, who were bigger jerks than those in our time, without taking a hit.

 

Bulma aged well. She was still a pretty lady in the future.

 

Wait. I thought Bubbles, Gregory and King Kai were all revived by Shenron. Why do they still have halos, show? Plus, poor King Kai. Goku broke his newly built house with two slaps.

 

I remember that Otherworld tournament. Pikkon was a good opponent for Goku, and the interactions between the Kais were mildly amusing.

 

JoJo - First: Darn, the heroes weren't fast enough. Wang Chen saved Dio's head. Yes, yes, Dio's head shouldn't have been capable of speech, but it was necessary for him to instruct Wang Chen and taunt Jonathan later. The heroes should've known something was up when Dio's head was missing.

 

I liked Speedwagon being the one to smash the Stone Mask.

 

Yaaaay, Erina and Jonathan got married, and evidently got down sometime between their wedding night and leaving on their honeymoon, since Erina was pregnant. At least the Joestar line will continue.

 

I have no idea why Dio's coffin sparkled, but I like that it had the safety feature of an internal latch. That was prudent on his part.

 

The laser eyes still don't make sense to me, but I could tell Jonathan was in serious trouble when the blood spurted repeatedly from his neck wounds. He held on and resisted admirably for someone who couldn't breathe, ensuring the destruction of the ship. He even managed to shield Erina and the slain woman's baby from shrapnel. He also urged his wife to survive not only for her own sake, but for the sake of a helpless infant who had no one but her to save it, and so she did. Erina and Jonathan were good people. It's sad that they didn't get to enjoy a longer life together.

 

I will credit Dio for admiring Jonathan's capability and tenacity, since he was able to defeat Dio.

 

Second: We can't be sure there were no other survivors beyond Erina and the baby from the steamship explosion, but it's unlikely. When we consider that, its entirely possible that Jonathan's son, who married a girl that survived the sinking, married a slightly older girl who might have been raised like a sister to him. They obviously weren't relatives if the girl was the orphaned infant, but it would still be a little weird.

 

Poor Joseph. His father died in WWI, which would've been The War at that time, and his mother died of disease. At least he had a good grandmother in Erina to give him guidance and correction.

 

I wouldn't have expected Speedwagon to prosper in the oil business, but good for him. I suspect that he thought there might be more to the danger of the Stone Mask than the one Mask which turned Dio, and that would explain him funding archaeological expeditions in Mexico. From what we saw, I would say Speedwagon was right, since there were several Stone Masks and a human form in the stone which sure looked a lot like Dio. It's a shame that Straitso was corrupted by the lure of eternal youth, and so he betrayed his fellows and Speedwagon, cutting them down to take a Mask and become a vampire.

 

I'm not sure why Joseph chose to step in on Smokey's behalf against the corrupt and brutal cop, but the "lawmen" sure were rude and crooked, so they got what they had coming to them. However, I'm not sure how the bottle cap striking the second officer's trigger finger like that managed to break his finger without causing it to depress the trigger. I also hope I didn't see what I thought I saw, that the finger was actually severed by the bottle cap. Anyway, Smokey has some mighty big shoes to fill if he's to be to Joseph what Speedwagon was to Jonathan. Plus, good on Joseph for stepping up to the loudmouth racist mafia muscle. Joseph not only showed keen observational skills, but impressive speed as well in grabbing whatever that thing was which he used to block the racist's punch. Seriously, I don't know what in a fancy restaurant would have spikes like that on it.

 

The racist's boss having "business dealings" with Speedwagon sounds right for New York City, and Joseph was right that he was lacking in tact in informing an old lady about the demise of a longtime friend.

 

Joseph was keen to spot the lack of breath from Straitso and fangs. I also would like to know where Joseph acquired that Thompson and where he had been concealing it.

 

There is a strong resemblance between Joseph and Jonathan, but Joseph being a hothead feels like something which will cause him trouble later, and more trouble than needing to help Speedwagon grab a pilot and jump from an aircraft. At least prop planes of that era traveled comparatively low and slow, so the impact wouldn't have been as bad as it would be jumping from a modern jet.

 

HxH - Good eye, Hisoka, spotting that Kastro couldn't replicate your blood on his clothes on his clone. As for Kastro suffering from too narrow a focus of his nen, sure, let's go with that assessment. I'm not sure whether Kastro was only badly wounded or killed, but it didn't look like the cards in his torso penetrated deeply enough to hit anything vital, so I hold out hope that he'll survive.

 

The numerical magic trick was a good distraction. Also, the answer to that formula will always be one. That Hisoka said his number, not answer, was one is something I'm willing to call an error on the part of the dub script writers.

 

Hisoka's sticky nen threads looked like they would be useful. His temporary fix for his severed arms was also impressive, but not as impressive as the ninja nen doctor lady's nen stitching to reattach everything that was severed. Plus, she was cute.

 

I don't know why Hisoka is using his conceal/camouflage trick to pose as a member of the Phantom Troupe, but if he takes assignments, then he might as well be a member. I'm curious as to what will happen at this mandatory meeting in Nork Yew City.

 

I get the impression that using Ren in the eyes to see what an opponent is really doing with their nen is something Wing will eventually teach Gon, and hopefully sooner rather than later, since Gon can already use Zetsu.

 

Shippuden - I do enjoy Tobi's goofy attitude, but seeing his serious side converse with Sauce was better than I expected. Itachi implanting the Mangekyo's Amaterasu in Sauce, setting it to involuntarily activate when he saw Tobi's Sharingan, was neat. I'm guessing Tobi used his intangibility/transportation jutsu to escape the flames, which would be set on his clothes instead of his body, unless they burned through his clothes to his flesh. Where he got another shirt so quickly, I don't know, but that's my guess. Anyway, I hope that was a one-time Amaterasu release, because if not, then we'd better hope Sauce never sees Kakashi use his Sharingan.

 

Naruto, you dummy. That's clearly a Venus Flytrap, not Aloe.

 

Hm, Kakashi saw that Tobi has a Sharingan. Also, Akamaru, Kiba, Naruto, Shino and Yamato made good efforts, but it's tough to fight an enemy who can let attacks pass through them and walk through restraints.

 

OP - Is that a new OP? I wasn't expecting that.

 

I wouldn't consider Moria's emergence from Oars to be timely enough to indicate that he was conscious this whole time since Luffy Hulk smashed him in the face, so my other Shadow Revolution complaint from last episode stands.

 

Okay, show, you proved my point about Oars' body and Shadow Revolution. Thanks for having my back on that, Chopper.

 

Actually, I don't have a problem with Moria using his Shadow to reach out and pull all the placed Shadows to himself. That's him using his Devil Fruit powers to manipulate and move the things over which his powers are to give him power. I'm less inclined to believe that his body, which is ostensibly ordinary flesh, would expand and grow like that. I feel like taking in that many Shadows would make him burst, especially when we consider that it looks like Moria has a series of stitches holding together a split or cut along his midline, from what we saw of his face anyway, (which, judging from the presence of the stitches, had not fully healed), and that would be a prime failure point or line for the physical integrity of his body. If the premise is that he's using Shadow Revolution on himself, then I've already addressed that idea.

 

Hmmm. If Moria has to use Shadow Revolution on himself to hold his body together, then he can no longer separate his Shadow from himself, meaning his switcheroo is unavailable to him. Even if he is huge now, enough Clutch arms combined with a coordinated strike from Franky, Luffy, Sanji and Zoro could break him. If he dies, then all the Shadows should return to their original bodies. Moria just made it easier for the Straw Hats and his other victims to survive the sunrise. They just need to kill him in less than five minutes.

 

I'm not sure how Robin regained consciousness so soon after having her Shadow separated from her, but I'll take it, since it means she was no longer defenseless and could help in the team effort against Oars. I also like when other pirate crews are impressed by how strong and resilient the Straw Hats are.

 

OPM - Lightning Max's jibberish exclamation of surprise is still funny.

 

Noooo, not the sweater!

 

The first time I saw this, I didn't see that Allback Man's hero name was on the back of his jacket. It's much clearer to see it in the manga, so I thought I'd look for it here. The letter coloring didn't stand out from the brown of the jacket very well, but it was there to see once I looked for it.

 

Ang, there was a page from the manga that you would've liked. It was a full-page panel of the hot bikini chick screaming when the Sea Folk arrived, but she did have to share it with a dude with nice abs in the background on the left.

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Wait. I thought Bubbles, Gregory and King Kai were all revived by Shenron. Why do they still have halos, show?

 

I'd probably chalk that up to something like "Cell didn't intend to kill them when he self-destructed, they just got caught up in the explosion meant for Goku, so they don't count".

 

DRAGONBALL Z KAI

17 and 18 maniacally laughing is disturbing. They’ve never done that, not even in History of Trunks.

Oh hey, it’s MILF Bulma.

Meanwhile, in the main timeline…

;D Chi-Chi’s taking this whole “Gohan sneaking off from his studies” thing quite well. Alternatively, better than I expected her to.

And now it’s time to pound the tuna.

In a way, Trunks will be an athlete/scientist.

HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN!

I think this is the first time I’ve actively recognized a minor character as having Dandy’s voice.

“Try this, kids at home!”

19 tiles is still impressive.

Oh look, Goku’s a fan.

;D Way to miss the point, Goku.

Interesting tree structure.

Nice, vocal background music.

SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

It’s time for Trunks to kick names and take ass. And he’s all out of ass.

I’ve heard of Underworld multiple times before, but I think this is the first time I’ve actually heard what the movies were about. Vampires vs. werewolves? A little more cliché than I expected, but unsurprising.

Normally, “lame-os” would be inappropriate for an episode of this rating, but considering my last experience with the 17 and 18 from Trunks’ timeline was a dub with no more profanity than the word “sucks”, this is oddly appropriate. Also, their voices are much better this time around. Perpetually whispery 17 and too-deep-to-be-sexy 18 were not my favorite voices, even if they were creepy enough to be unsettling.

Apparently even his outfit is bulletproof.

OH SHIT HE’S GOT A GUN TOO.

INSTANT TRANSMISSION.

Not a single minute in and this fight is going better than the entirety of History of Trunks.

Not creating Android 16 was a terrible idea in hindsight for this timeline’s Dr. Gero.

Whoa. :o I think that attack vaporized her.

THIS IS FOR MISTER GOHAN.

Looks like Trunks is surprised that he ended the Androids’ reign of terror so easily.

Oh yeah, Cell’s still a thing, isn’t he.

Foreshadowing?

:D The surprise on Imperfect Cell’s face is magnificent.

He has robot spies? Bullshit.

“…what you’re into, what you’re not!” ;D Oh, Cell. You’re incorrigible.

CAPSULE COOP.

Sweet representative chasm.

This fight reminds me of Xenoverse for some reason.

Throwing him by the tail like Frieza.

SUCK IT CELL.

Nice hou-oh goddammit Goku.

Did the narrator just say the Japanese word for “road”?

And now, a musical montage of… what was said would be saved for another time? Sure, why not.

Now this is how you do a montage.

TOP BILLING: Trunks. Also, note how 17 is credited as “A17”, but 18 is credited as “Android 18”. Weird.

 

I dare to be different, so I’m gonna watch that Scavengers short. So what if I have to view it on Christmas morning? I think it’ll be worth it.

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: PHANTOM BLOOD FINALE

RATING SCREENCAP #1: Dio falling to his impending doom.

What good will decapitating myself do, he wonders?

Creepy Chinese dude’s gonna do something sexual with that head.

Huh, only 73 missing persons. Still a tragedy, but much lower than implied by the earlier narration.

And that was the last anyone saw of the infamous Stone Mask.

HOLY SHIT THEY’RE DOING THE SOUND EFFECTS. And they still cut the OP down to fit. Shoulda figured.

Aww, how nice, they married.

FUN FACT: Speedwagon’s favorite part of the newspaper are the funny pages.

REPLY TO ANGEL 1: “I like his new hat.” It’s also Zeppeli’s old hat.

“I’m late! I’m late!”

Took me a while to recognize those two other guys in the group. Speedwagon’s friends from Ogre Street, right?

That expedition to Mexico sounds very curious indeed.

SUDDENLY COFFIN.

Yep, that breathing definitely sounds like Dio.

Remember to say farewell to your co-producer.

Damn, that’s one sparkly coffin.

Literal lovebirds. Well I’ll be.

For a split second, I heard “dear” as “Dio”.

Oh yeah, George never met Erina.

“I wish that today would last forever.” Oh, tonight definitely isn’t gonna end well.

A priest drinking right from the bottle while talking about shekels? I don’t think we should trust this guy.

Long story short…

Oh no, Jonathan’s Dio senses are tingling!

It’s locked… FROM THE INSIDE!

Welp, so much for the drunken priest.

And then Dio was one of those heads in jars from Futurama.

I don’t know why, but the scene of that man randomly going vampire was kinda funny.

“Do you see the condition in which I find myself?” You’re a talking head without a body, that’s pretty much more than just a simple “condition”!

Yep, I now officially have no idea what Dio’s thinking right now.

Well, that escalated quickly.

Strange, that one vampire looks an awful lot like Straitzo…

RATING SCREENCAP #2: Dio making himself an eye-level window for his head jar.

Goddammit Wang Chen put that tongue back in your mouth.

DEATH BY LIFESAVER. Now that. Is. Irony~.

Oh thank god the baby’s alive.

And then it became a ghost zombie ship.

So… does that mean Dio’s better than Wang Chen?

:D Musclebound sleeves.

Well, at least his last attack landed.

And now for a lesson in ship anatomy.

INEXORABLY!

“Jonathan Joestar is dying, but we are together, and that is enough.”

Like I said. The baby’s still alive.

Huh, that makes a lotta sense.

And then the engine exploded at just the right time.

Eughhh, tentacle veins.

SHRAPNEL TO THE NECK.

As far as I can tell, love is the only thing that can defeat Dio. It’s definitely keeping his head in place, that’s for sure.

Welp, that’s it. That’s our story, Jonathan’s dead, good night.

“But his descendants will.” Wait, so that means…

Thank you, Dio, for blabbing about the protective nature of your special coffin. It sure as hell saved Erina’s life, partly because she was smart enough to use it after you spoke of it.

“But that was only the beginning of a new… bizarre adventure.” He said it! He said the thing!

Well, that doesn’t look too promising.

 

This teaser looks positively… super.

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: BATTLE TENDENCY PREMIERE

RATING SCREENCAP #3: Speedwagon after 50 years.

“You look as young as ever, Straitzo.” Even though he looks much older than he did before.

Now it’s time for Japan to recognize Mexico as more than a place for their women to indulge in the food and men and then brag about being pregnant with “half-breeds”.

Oh no, more stone masks!

Meanwhile, IN AMERICA!

Check it out, a random black kid. And a pickpocket too, from the looks of it.

Again with the shekels…

Man, those are some ugly cops. And assholes, too.

Not a minute onscreen and I already love this guy.

For some reason, nose-picking this obvious is anime is just so off-putting. Which is why episode 5A of Panty & Stocking is the worst episode.

DAMMIT COP GET THAT FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE.

“You made the wrong move, you stupid adult pig!”

FUCK YEAH RANDOM BRIT.

Wait, Granny Erina?

Hey, you’d be surprised how badass some grannies are.

AND THERE’S JOJO NUMBER TWO.

A man made of stone? Now that’s bizarre.

Those criminals look like they came right out of the Green Hornet.

FUN FACT: In the original manga, the comic young Joseph was reading was Superman. Here, it’s BAOH, the name of the manga Araki did before JoJo.

;D The nerve of that kid.

Oh my god Joseph you are amazing.

One can only wonder what Jonathan would have thought of Joseph were he still alive…

What the fuck Straitzo.

RATING SCREENCAP #2: Even Speedwagon is surprised by Straitzo’s Face Heel Turn!

“In fact, I’m saner than I’ve ever been!”

I know you admired Dio’s eternal youth, but the way you called him “beautiful”, it sounds more like you’re gay for the man.

Oh, and he also wants to spend less time conquering things and more time learning the secrets of the mask, which is a creative motivation at the very least.

I gotta say, old age was definitely kind to Erina.

So it was a taxi all along? What luck!

:D Heh, Joseph thinks Jonathan and Speedwagon were gay lovers. I’m sure there’s a doujin with that focus somewhere on the Interweb.

Yeah, an “accident”… ::)

Wait, does that mean the baby Erina saved is Joseph’s mother?

Oh look, another ugly dude. Interesting how he’s racist towards Smokey without even mentioning the color of his skin.

Granny Erina allows this.

Nice observational skills, Joseph.

TSUGI NI OMAE WA… [insert phrase here] TO IU!

:D Pink horror of a coat.

ORA ORA ORA!

I’m still not sure what that thing he used to block his hand is even supposed to be, but it got the job done.

[APPLAUSE INTENSIFIES]

NO NOT SPEEDWAGON!

“Could it be Straitzo?” Yup.

I like how he pronounces “genuine”.

He’s telling the truth, but that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to like it.

Yes, let’s all blame Dio.

Irene’s Café: founded by a one-legged Asian woman with something to prove.

A C-cup? Noooot interested.

Wait, so snake oil makes your breasts bigger? :P

SUDDENLY IT WAS A VAMPIRE STRAITZO ALL ALONG.

;D Joseph emptying a bunch of lead out of a conveniently retrieved tommygun and into Straitzo and the restaurant behind him is this part’s defining moment, and fuck you if you don’t like it.

Now for the new version of the Roundabout ED! Love the subtle shift from young Speedwagon to old Speedwagon.

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

Forget the haters, I really enjoy this OP.

So what makes this Tiger Bite Fist so “true” anyways?

:D Oh Hisoka, for a creepy clown dude you are so fun to watch.

52 PICKUP, BITCHES.

Scratch, make that 13 Pickup.

MATH PROBLEMS, FUCK YEAH!

Let’s pretend my number is 3. So (((3+4)*2-6)/2)-3=((7*2-6)/2)-3=((14-6)/2)-3=(8/2)-3=4-3=1.

I got it! The answer to that equation is your original number minus two!

Well that’s gruesome.

Holy crap, my answer was 1 too! Or wait, maybe 1 was the number the picked?

‘TIS BUT A FLESHWOUND!

Oh hey his arm’s back.

“But how?” MAGIC!

How did I not realize Hisoka was wearing high heels before now?

DANCE YOURSELF TO DEATH.

Now those are some primo observation skills.

He punched him with his own severed arm! That’s pretty damn badass if you ask me!

BARRAGE OF CARDS.

Hisoka, you’re evil but I enjoy watching you so damn much.

And Gon missed it all.

Oh hey, it’s this show’s token pink-haired chick. Apparently she’s Hisoka’s healer.

“You’re an assassin, Cal.”

This healer chick’s voice should seem familiar, but for whatever reason I can’t place it…

Ooh, this healing session isn’t even started and it’s already so kinky~.

Camera eyes?

This is probably the only boner Hisoka’s gotten that’s involved the female gender in any way.

That is way too much money for a simple operation because of course it is.

Now that’s a fun explanation behind that magic trick.

“Elastic Love” sounds like a title befitting for rubber porn but not the kind of rubber porn that I’m into.

Eh, better you hear about the interestingly mundane origins of his ability names than his more shotacon tendencies.

I unironically love this exposition.

FUCK YEAH SPANISH GUITAR.

I kinda like how they didn’t explain how the arm punched him. Should be obvious by now that Bungee Gum was behind it all.

HOLY CRAP HISOKA’S WITH THE PHANTOM TROUPE.

Struuuuuck ouuuuuuut.

True, it was super incredible.

Time for a Hisoka shower scene!

Hm, he actually looks kinda handsome with his hair down.

AND HIS SPIDER TATTOO’S A FAKE.

Such mysterious motivations…

 

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

Meanwhile, Itachi is still dead, but somehow Sasuke isn’t. Yet…

Meanwhile still, in a less rainy locale…

Whoa, he just phased right through Tobi! Surprising.

“What can I say? I’m just really flexible…” In bed.

…What.

So it’s just that Tobi is impervious to attack, then.

:D Shino wants to compensate for being left out of the last big rescue mission.

The way Naruto said that sounded kinda sarcastic.

Yeah, Shino has a thing about being ignored and forgotten. If his dislike of Naruto not recognizing him says anything, at least…

Maybe Tobi just phased into that tree.

Zetsu at its absolute greatest.

;D WOW. Way to be useless there, Kiba.

SUDDENLY VENUS FLYTRAP.

Naruto is sick of all these random Akatsuki showing up out of nowhere.

Welp, so much for their mission.

They say it’s midnight to 3:30, but it’s actually more 12:15 to 3:15.

;D The only thing funnier than Zetsu being called “psycho aloe guy” is that Naruto knows what aloe is.

Kakashi’s Sharingan senses just tingled, and not in the good way.

And into the void he went.

“That lone storm cloud looks ominous and death-related enough to be where he is!”

Elevating the combustibles so they won’t get in your way. Smart move, and one of the reasons Yamato is one of my introduced-in-Shippuden favorites.

I assume they took a break from their battle to figure out how part 2 was gonna go/wonder why it was raining so suddenly.

Of course Karin and Jugo care about Sasuke’s safety and whereabouts.

Kisame just doesn’t give a fuck, does he.

Sai’s just here to feel empathy, just as his social skills book told him to.

Geez Naruto, make it sound gayer, why don’t you?

I would not at all be surprised if he just phased in like that outta nowhere.

Turns out Tobi was an antihero all along.

And then his eye started bleeding, for some strange reason.

SURPRISE AMATERASU.

And now he’ll never know the truth about his brother.

OR MAYBE HE WILL!

Man, fuck you Itachi.

FUCK YEAH FULL ENDING THEME. Or maybe not. ;D

 

This musical performance alone makes this a surprising more decent than it looks commercial.

 

ONE PIECE

I think this is the first time my channel guide gave a non-generic description for a One Piece episode.

Oh yeah, there’s a new opening this episode. Somehow the art style has a bit of a DBZ similarity to it, even though it’s still all Oda.

TOP BILLING: Brook.

Holy crap, I think they’re airing the full version this time.

Oh, and it’s to celebrate the show’s 10th anniversary too.

Nightmare Luffy is the best Luffy.

YEAH, FUCK YOU MORIA.

“He took four of them from our crew!” Plus Brook, but he got his back so that’s no real worry.

What the hell happened to Lola’s voice? Is this what it sounds like when she’s soft-spoken?

Yeah, of course Oars hasn’t been knocked out for good yet.

“That didn’t hurt at all…” Quit bluffing, Oars.

WELL LOOK WHO’S STILL CONSCIOUS.

He ain’t no zombie; he’s Zoro.

I had a feeling the others would be awake (except for maybe Robin), but I’m impressed that Luffy’s consciousness has returned so soon.

And that’s why I said “maybe” Robin. Because of course she’s awake too. ::)

Wait, did Nami disappear or something while I wasn’t looking?

Ah, whatever, this is still gonna be awesome regardless.

But what of Usopp, Sanji, Chopper and Franky? Looks like we’ll be getting our answer right now.

A literal footladder.

Check it out, another solitary raincloud.

And so Oars was kept in place just as he died the first time: frozen and near-butt-nekkid.

I’M MADE OF RUBBER, YOUR OPINION IS INVALID.

I feel like this scene should be animated by somebody important.

“What in the hell are these guys doing?” TEAMWORK, THAT’S WHAT.

If Shadow Revolution didn’t break Oars’ bones, that attack of Luffy’s definitely did.

FUCK YEAH STRAW HATS.

That’s not how you pronounce Romeo, you stupid kids.

Oh hey, it’s all those zombie guys from the beginning of the arc.

Plus all those other ones too.

Yes, let’s all blame Hildon for what just transpired. Or thank him, since the Straw Hats are still technically the good guys.

;D I completely forgot about Tiny Luffy.

So what even happened to Moria, then?

Aww Brook.

Speaking of Moria… THERE HE IS.

:D That cat dance.

Man, fuck you Moria.

Aw crap, he’s going mental.

And here’s the part where Foley flips his lid. (Supposedly.)

FUCK YOU KOALA MAN.

I recognize all those zombies! Poor half of them.

Holy shit Moria I don’t know how but you uglier than ever before.

 

And now, for a little blast to the past/present: various comments from this week’s 4chan discussion of the block that I found humorous and/or shareworthy. To make the first one a little more poignant, I’ll take the time to announce that the DBZ Kai New Year’s marathon kicks off with the premiere of the anime music video Shelter, which will be the first subbed anime ever on Toonami. Any other clarifying comments like that are marked in red.

 

PRE-SHOW

  • WHAT IN THE FUCK THEY FINALLY AIR MUSIC VIDEO IN JAPANESE AND DIDNT CHOOSE THIS? FUCK YOU FOREVER DEMARCO
  • Oh, right. On a bright point, I found SAO Abridged, and it managed to do the impossible and make SAO amusing, and actually put some damn pathos into kittytoe.

DBZ KAI

  • >world has seen 20 some budokai tournaments
    >use of ki techniques caught on tape many times in the past
    >satan nowhere to be found when saiyans invaded earth
    what the hell, is everyone retarded
  • Cell exploded, killed enemies of Gero, and got 72 Yamchas in the afterlife
  • >SAY HELLO TO RECOOME CELL

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

  • >Cuts off head
    >Lives
    What the fuck? Isn't cutting off a vampire's head one of the guaranteed ways of killing them aside from sunlight and a stake in the heart?
    • Jojo vampires have MOTHERFUCKING LASER VISION. Normal rules don't fucking apply here.

    [*]Dio is like a swarm of cockroaches. No matter how many times you kill him, he just keeps coming back.

    [*]For a second I thought the head bonk was what kills him (Jonathan)

    [*]>Jojo died as he lived, a nobody!

    >And his murderer lived as he died, a head with NO BODY!

    DOHOHOHOHOHO!

    [*]There's a lot of poetry to this ending

    >Dio's growing admiration of Jojo comes to a head

    >Wang Chan, the instigator of the father's poisoning is the catalyst of the destruction of the ship.

    >Dio, Erina and Jojo are the last characters left alive on the ship.

    Honestly if the entire series ended here I wound not be dissatisfied.

    [*]>yfw joseph's voiced by pic related

    [*]I love how Joseph's establishing character moment plays out exactly like one of those fake stories you hear on tumblr

    "Yeah I totally saved this kid being harassed by police. I shoved one of his fingers through his nose and broke his finger with my bottle of coke. Then the kid clapped and gave me 100$"

    [*]Remember everyone. Fighting corrupt policemen always tastes better, with a nice refreshing Coke.

    [*]MY ULTIMATE HAMON TECHNIQUE

    THE TOMMY GUN

HUNTER x HUNTER

  • WHY DO YOU PRONOUNCE THE "U" AT THE END OF HATSU BUT NOT ZETSU?
    MAKE SENSE NARRATOR!
  • FUCKING CLOWNS AND THEIR CLOWN VOODOO MAGIC
  • OH FUCK A FEMALE
  • You will never convince me Hisoka is a villain.
  • >HXH was the hype killer this week

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

  • How come Saucekay just fucking cries blood? That's fucking fanfiction tier edge.
    • He doesn't, it's literally eyecancer that his eye gives him

ONE PIECE

  • I DIDNT WATCH THIS SHIT TO LEARN ANATOMY
  • >same sound effect as Cell's tail absorption
  • What the fuck
    his final form is inflation shit???
    WHO WRITES THIS SHIT

ONE PUNCH MAN

  • what does puri puri mean
    • Imagine saying "prisoner" with a heavy Japanese accent, but you stutter first.

 

[pri-pri-prisoner]

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So, most of the block I kind of ignored.

Hisoka scares me, seriously. He is extremely powerful, clever and a complete sociopath. Kind of like the Joker with Jedi powers. He is evidently playing this Spider gang as well, probably because they amused him somehow, or maybe because he wants to double cross them to have an excuse to kill them, hard telling. In any event, Gon and Killua should be concerned about Hisoka having an interest in them.

Still, it was cool to watch Hisoka win that fight.

 

I saw the animated Batman the Killing Joke. It was easily the best animated show I've seen in months. It was perfect in almost every way, save the use of friggin instead of fucking. It was rated R, drop the F bomb.

 

 

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New York, 1938. Nearly fifty years have passed since the tragic demise of Jonathan Joestar, only slightly softened by the fact that his family's bloodline still lives on. Now, the elderly and widowed Erina Pendleton and her sole grandson, Joseph Joestar, have arrived in the Big Apple to meet with old friend and current oil baron Robert E.O. Speedwagon about some recent news of interest. However, matters of a similary important, if not unrelated concern, may wind up being the end of him and the start of a new evil to be faced...

 

The above episode technically premiered last week, but is being covered today because, for those of you daring to stay up during Santa's cross-country trip around the planet, Toonami is giving you a JoJo's marathon. Starting from the midpoint of the Phantom Blood arc, marking Jonathan and his posse's arrival in Wind Knight's Lot, and ending with the premiere of Battle Tendency, as I just described to you above. And book-ending this marathon of six episodes is a special Christmas treat from the crew: the world premiere of Joseph Bennett and Charles Huettner's quarter-hour animated short film about a stranded space crew trapped on a planet of creatures most definitely alien. Check out Scavengers, tonight at midnight and again at 3:15.

 

12:00- Scavengers - TV-PG

12:15 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #5 - The Dark Knights - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-14V (personal)

12:45 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #6 - Tomorrow's Courage - TV-14LV (broadcast), TV-14V (personal)

1:15 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #7 - Sorrowful Successor - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-MA (personal)

1:45 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #8 - Bloody Battle! JoJo & Dio - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-MA (personal)

2:15 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #9 - The Final Ripple! - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-MA (personal)

2:45 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #10 - New York's JoJo - TV-MAV (broadcast), TV-14LV (personal)

3:15 - Scavengers - TV-PG

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So that Scavengers short was pretty neat. Very well directed and animated. Wasn't expecting it to be voiceless, but I'm not surprised either. That thing at the end with the girl finding herself in some image of a city was trippy. And of course Titmouse animated this. Those guys are great (outside of that Gucci Mane video). 9.5/10.

 

Oh, and Merry Christmas, to those of you who celebrate it.

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Yes, let’s all blame Dio.

 

I'm cool with it.

 

So, I awoke at 1 A.M. Christmas Eve Day and was awake until a little before midnight that night, so I knew I wouldn't make it through JoJo and thus recorded the episodes and Scavengers. I think I watched those Thursday. Maybe some of them were on Wednesday.

 

Scavengers - Yeah, this seemed like a waste of time to me. Blah, blah, crashed expedition had to learn how to exploit, and I mean that in almost the worst sense of the word, the local lifeforms to survive and do what they wanted to do. While that kind of resourcefulness would be necessary in establishing colonies and settlements on other planets, it was just weird and boring here.

 

JoJo - Iterating from the first time this episode aired, there should've been no bodies for Dio to reanimate for Blueford and Tarukus. Consider the line one of their executioners spoke, that Queen Mary was already "worm food." That would bolster the idea that their bodies would not be embalmed, meaning they would much more readily decay. Depending upon the circumstances of their burials, perhaps only a few bones and teeth would remain, and since, as the story told us in the next episode, zombies don't regenerate, they would be unable to reconstitute their bodies, even if all the elements and molecules were still in their graves (which they wouldn't be. Remember the lesson of the Epiphany Ants).

 

Yeah, Ang and Poke were right. The Baron should've tried using his hamon on the wall a few feet away from the door. Even if hamon alone couldn't get it, Speedwagon and his sledgehammer could've helped while the Baron caught his breath, so to speak.

 

Hamon sure seems a lot like magic if it can fix a broken neck and give the recipient a massive power-up. Oh well.

 

Something Poco's dad should've considered is that it was still daylight, likely with hours until sunset, when non-hypnotized Poco left the house with every intention of being back by dark, but evil schemes and circumstances prevented that. Also, right on, Poco's sister, for rejecting Dio's offer with a slap. Dio toying with Jonathan's right carotid artery still made me cringe. Ew.

 

How did no one in that State Dining Room notice Wang Chen bite and turn that one guy into a zombie? This question especially applies to those at his table.

 

If Dire and Master Tonpetti weren't already dead, they'd absolutely take up the mission of blood vengeance for Speedwagon's (and those other nameless dudes') murder(s). Here's hoping Joseph can use hamon well enough for the task in a little over a week. Straitso needs to be put down like the treacherous dog he is. Plus, I say we should respect Speedwagon for his toughness in death. It looked to me like his skull was split, nearly separating his face from the rest of his head, but he still had the fortitude and presence of mind to try talking Straitso out of going through with his plan. Like Jonathan, Speedwagon was too good for this world.

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Scavengers - Yeah, this seemed like a waste of time to me. Blah, blah, crashed expedition had to learn how to exploit, and I mean that in almost the worst sense of the word, the local lifeforms to survive and do what they wanted to do. While that kind of resourcefulness would be necessary in establishing colonies and settlements on other planets, it was just weird and boring here.

 

I'm just gonna agree to disagree here.

 

Welp, 2016's about to come to a close. (Thank god.  :|) And since everyone's gonna be watching the ball drop and the musical performances following, of course it would be the perfect excuse for Demarco to break his "no subs" rule and premiere the first Japanese-language program to ever air on Toonami: Shelter the Animation. A collaboration between EDM artist Porter Robinson and the studio that brought you SAO, A-1 Pictures, this allegedly critically acclaimed 5-minute music video ventures into the possibilities of virtual reality, and how they affect a girl who knows nothing but...

 

Oh, and there's also the end of the Cell Saga too. Probably to make up for the fact that the ratings for the JoJo marathon last week, as insignificant as they may have been, SUCKED.

 

12:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #92 - Tears for an Android! Gohan's Inner Rage Bursts Forth! - TV-PGLV

12:30 - Shelter the Animation- TV-PG

12:35 - Dragonball Z Kai #93 - Unleash the Warrior Within! Gohan Takes the Offensive! - TV-PGLV

1:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #94 - Perfection's End! A Fury Beyond Super Saiyan! - TV-PGLV

1:30 - Dragonball Z Kai #95 - A Hero's Sacrifice! Last Chance to Save the World! - TV-PGLV

2:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #96 - Combine Your Strength! The Final Kamehame-Ha! - TV-PGLV

2:30 - Dragonball Z Kai #97 - A Bittersweet Victory! Until We Meet Again! - TV-PGLV

3:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #98 - Peace for the Future! The Spirit of Goku is Forever! - TV-PGLV

 

By the way, the lack of the bold function to do anything is stupid, so the underline will take its place until Luuv does something about it.

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Hmmm. This calls for a test. Sample one is this line.

 

Sample two is this line.

 

I see no difference in those.

 

Topical: I didn't watch the JoJo marathon live, but I did dvr it.

 

Poke: Sounds like a good agreement to me.

 

Also, do sigs disappear from edited messages? It looks like the "message edited/last edit" information takes the place of a sig when a message is edited. 

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Also, do sigs disappear from edited messages? It looks like the "message edited/last edit" information takes the place of a sig when a message is edited.

 

Sigs only show on one post on a page of a thread. So on every page of this thread you should have one post showing your sig. This is done to cut down page load times but allow us to still have whatever we want in out sigs.

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So... Shelter. Not as sub-heavy or plot-centric as I expected it to be, but it was still a neat video. Music was easily the greatest strength. 8/10.

 

EDIT: Turns out Demarco had to be the faggit he is and cut all the subbed parts. Man, if he still had an ask.fm account, I'd spam the fuck out of it right now. That said, it's now an 8.5/10.

 

ANOTHER EDIT: Turns out the suppliers to blame and all Demarco did wrong was fail to double-check the thing before airing it.

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I hadn't noticed that about sigs, CAC.

 

Shelter - Now this is a brief look into a fictional universe about which I would like to know more. We have a girl with a tablet that lets her rearrange the landscape. When we look back and see a little girl put onto some kind of craft designed by her father to let her escape a large object's collision with the Earth, it opens the possibility that the "world" we saw her editing was a holographic projection to simulate the Earth for her during her voyage. What we don't know is whether the rest of the populace evacuated to nearby space, to off-planet colonies, or were hunkering down and hoping for the best. The city being deserted at a time when it would otherwise be bustling with activity indicates to me that people have, at the least, fled thousands of miles away. For the sake of the girl's future, I would hope that she's on her way to an off-world colony in her ship.

 

DBZK - When Mr. Satan said he was the greatest human fighter alive, it made me wonder who between Krillin and Tien would actually be the better fighter. I would lean toward Krillin for toughness, but Tien is better at energy attacks, so I'm not sure who is better.

 

It's strange to see Goku need help from the human Z Fighters. Good riddance, Cell Jrs.

 

I find it strange that Trunks used the word "swallowed" for what Cell did to 18 when absorbing her. Didn't he use his tail thing to take her in, like he did with 17? I wouldn't call that swallowing.

 

If the blast was strong enough to destroy a super-dense lump of rock and metal like King Kai's planet (remember that despite being a mere few hundred yards in diameter, at most, it has ten times Earth's gravity, meaning it must be several magnitudes denser), then it's shenanigans that simple organic matter at the center of the explosion which destroyed the planet wouldn't be incinerated or vaporized.

 

Yes, Vegeta apologizing for anything is out of character. Plus, no way Cell would have the energy to destroy the Solar system. The energy he had came from somewhere, and all those sources were from the Earth. Earth, in turn, gets its energy from the Sun. While the Sun does produce truly massive amounts of energy, the raging nuclear reactions in it are insufficient to overcome the gravitational influence of its mass, meaning it doesn't blast itself apart. So, if the ultimate source of Cell's energy wouldn't be enough to destroy itself, then how could Cell have that much energy at his disposal? The answer, of course, is that Cell doesn't; it's simple villainous braggadocio.

 

It still doesn't make sense that Shenron couldn't revert 17 and 18 to being humans again. It's not asking Shenron to overcome their fighting power. It's restoring human anatomy. If Shenron can rebuild some of Trunks' internal organs, and possibly entire bodies for some of Cell's other victims, then restoring the human anatomy of 17 and 18 shouldn't be different.

 

Some of Piccolo must've rubbed off onto Trunks, since he did about as much dodging as deflecting in his fight against 17 and 18 in his time. Also, Imperfect Cell went out like a punk, and that made me smile.

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I'm kind of looking forward to this week. It should be fun, even though I won't be able to watch it live.

I wasn't that impressed with Scavenger. It was alright, but I didn't get the sense it was really breaking new ground for the block. I enjoyed the Intruder series much more.

 

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As a former Hamon master and current vampire born from the stone mask, Straitzo expected his elimination of Joseph Joestar to be simple. Having witnessed Jonathan's Hamon abilities long ago, one would assume that Joseph's experience in said art would be much lesser, leading to a swift and almost effortless death. However, Joseph has more battle skill within him than just the ability to use Hamon, and if the tommygun Straitzo was greeted with is any indication, this fight is going to be longer and much more challenging than he ever would have anticipated.

 

But that's not the important part of tonight. This week, we see not one, not two, but three block premieres. First, at 11:30, we have the U.S. premiere of Dragonball Super, the new and some say inferior sequel that officially retconned GT out of existence much to the joy of everyone. (Just don't tell anyone about the 8PM stealth premiere.) Then, following up at midnight is the premiere of Dragonball Z Kai: The Final Chapters; or the Buu saga, for anyone unfamiliar. Watch and be confused as, after a fun and comedic re-introduction to the official DB universe, we re-enter Kai seven years after the Cell Games, where Goku is still dead and Gohan is about to deal with what his dad's live-action counterpart dealt with eight years ago: the horrors of high school. And after JoJo, to bide time until the dub for season 2 of IBO is ready, we have Gundam Unicorn RE:0096, the remixed-for-TV version of the original Gundam UC OVAs, which follows student Banagher Links as he's drawn into a conflict surrounding the mysterious "Laplace's Box" sought after by the remnants of Neo Zeon. If this is confusing to you, do not panic. Gundam is confusing in general.

 

After all that excitement, we've got the usual stuff. Gon resuming his Nen training, Sasuke learning the truth about his clan, Luffy facing off with Moria's ultimate form, and Saitama saving the day in front of several witnesses and still getting shit on by the public that should be adoring him. Y'know, that sort of thing.

 

8:00 - Dragonball Super #1 - A Peacetime Reward: Who Gets the 100,000,000 Zeni? - TV-PGDV

...

11:30 - Dragonball Super #1 - A Peacetime Reward: Who Gets the 100,000,000 Zeni? - TV-PGDV

12:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #99 - Seven Years Later! Starting Today, Gohan is a High School Student - TV-PGLV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #11 - The Game Master - TV-MAV (broadcast and personal)

1:00 - Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 #1 - Departure 0096 - TV-PGLV

1:30 - Hunter x Hunter #33 - An Empty Threat - TV-14V

2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #140 - Fate - TV-PG

2:30 - One Piece #374 - Our Bodies Vanish! The Morning Sun Shines on the Nightmarish Island! - TV-PGLV

3:00 - One Punch Man #9 - Unyielding Justice - TV-14V

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I'm completely lost on this new Gundam already. :D All I know is I wish the Misty voiced girl was the female lead over the Eureka voiced girl, but she's probably not. Why do I wish that? Vainly simple, but she's much prettier imo. :D It took me a good 2 or 3 minutes to realize it even was Misty btw, had an "Aha!" moment. :D Also humorous that our mc is blonde Hitsugaya. I think he is anyway.

 

 

I'm slowly warming up to Killua I think. That first arc really left me with a poor impression of him, but he was pretty good this week. Also, this episode had the same problem of almost all explanation that the previous one did, but it was much better. Why? It was told not through Hisoka and pink haired girl, who I care nothing for, but Gon/Wing/Zushi/Killua, who I do enjoy! See! The difference!

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Fuck you, old lady.

 

DRAGON BALL SUPER

I’ll be honest, this new OP blows the fuck out of Dragon Soul.

Let’s just ignore the fact that these are technically supposed to be spoilers.

DISCLAIMER: This episode isn’t as exciting as its title will make you think.

Don’t ask why Goku’s driving a tractor; he just is.

Ehhh, I doubt anyone can be as stubborn as Vegeta.

Holy shit Goten’s voice is so terrible.

:D I’ll admit, Goten pausing to help Goku swallow got me.

This kid’s got guts if he’s only slightly scared at falling down the side of a cliff.

“DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU HAVE TO KEEP TRAINING?” The worst-dubbed line of the episode, ladies and gentlemen. And they thought it’d be a good one for the series promo. S:

[flips off Chi-Chi]

As terrible as Goten’s voice is, I do enjoy his attitude.

Meanwhile, deep in space, loads and loads of alien cuisine.

Oh, and say hello to purple cat God and androgynous blue Dandy. Your new favorite villains.

“What an insufferable name.” Overly long foreign-sounding names usually are.

I love that phrase, “mouth-feel”. ;D

Catman-doing the job before you can say “Cat Loves Food”. [yeah yeah yeah yeah]

HAIL SATAN. HAIL SATAN.

:-D Mr. Satan is the best character.

Buu, the jury’s still out on. I’ll wait ‘til I actually see him doing villainous shit to come to a final decision on that.

That cameraman is surprisingly buff.

When Buu releases steam, shit’s about to get real.

“Excuse me while I powder my nose… and go pee.” :D Oh, Mr. Satan.

AVALANCHE OF FOODSTUFFS.

Meanwhile, Gohan’s a nerd but he’s also got a cute wife.

Piccolo disapproves of their relationship, apparently.

Kids these days, criticizing wedding rings.

:D There was hardwood under that shag carpeting all along.

Coming up next, Gohan back when he was still cool.

Affectionate cheek-poking.

I never knew toilet water was good for the face. Maybe in Japan or France, it is.

Dang Bulma, you savage.

Even in anime, the dangers of overpricing are very much apparent.

For a second there, I was expecting that old man to be sarcastic with his explanation. Glad to see he wasn’t.

Sneezing your dentures out. That’s old people for ya.

Awesome, super clean water.

SNAKES! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SNAKES?

It’s times like this that I forget the DB universe is filled with giant, dangerous monsters.

Kamehame-denied.

:-D Holy shit, kid Trunks kicks ass.

The jar is safe, but not as full as before.

The 8PM showing was right, that house is huge.

“It’s my mega-special wedding gift!” Don’t you mean “super-special”?

The moral of the story: it’s the thought that counts.

SPEAK OF MR. SATAN AND HE SHALL APPEAR.

Oh yeah, Gohan’s wife is also Mr. Satan’s daughter.

Goku doesn’t watch TV, like a true man.

ONE HUNDRED MILLION!?

Goku isn’t good with maths.

A free briefcase full of money. You’re a good man, Mr. Satan.

That’s Toriyama’s avatar on the 10,000 zeni note.

Oh Chi-Chi, you and your want for super-smart kids.

GOKU OUT.

With one hundred million yen zeni you can buy all of the porn!

“You could even go Blu-Ray!” :D Must’ve missed that one on the first watch.

I have no idea who these purple dudes are.

TOP BILLING: Goku, followed by Mr. Satan.

 

This was the point where, after the 8PM stealth premiere, I watched the first episode of To Love-Ru. Just like Gintama advertised, it was super interesting.

 

DRAGON BALL Z KAI: THE FINAL CHAPTERS

Now that’s a cut OP. Puts even Dimension W’s to shame.

To be fair, Goku wasn’t exactly an exile, even if he’s far from your average Saiyan.

SUCK IT FREEZER.

Never forget Android 16. He was the coolest robot.

And down goes King Kai’s planet.

Once you get past all the screaming, Cell’s defeat is actually pretty cool.

I still think it’s bullshit that we don’t get Kuu-Zen-Zetsu-Go. But I guess Fight it Out will have to do.

Welcome to Satan City. Population: you.

Friggin’ bank robbers…

The Flying Nimbus Cloud is the best school bus.

IT’S SUPER SAIYAN TIME.

Six Million Dollar Kick!

Oh hey it’s Gohan’s future wife, only younger and more tomboyish. I like the low-hanging side pigtails.

“The Golden Warrior goes to my high school?” Light novel title of the week, ladies and gentlemen.

Orange Star High School. Not as awesome as Black Star High School, but it’s good enough.

This guy looks like a total douche.

:D Not five seconds in the room, and someone already has the hots for Teen Gohan.

Teachers don’t appreciate complaints, especially loud ones.

Her name is Eraser?

That must make her full name Videl Satan.

“…and brown slacks.” Eh, they look more orange than they do brown.

Watch it, you’re talking to the guy who defeated Cell.

You’d be surprised at how far transportation has come in the past seven years.

:D Is that Australian accent for real?

That dude with the glasses looks nerdier than Gohan, he has no right to look at him all cock-of-the-walk like that blonde douche over there.

Was he being sarcastic there? I like to believe he was.

:D Oh Gohan, you suck at being subdued.

BEAN! BEAN! BEAN!

Gohan’s already part of the Going-Home Club.

Ah, the joys of high school.

TOP BILLING: Gohan.

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

SCREENCAP #1: In which my ratings predictions finally come true.

Let’s just pretend his little speech last episode didn’t happen.

“If you don’t calm down, I may have to make out with you.” ;D Joseph is already the best JoJo.

Bloody Stream is one of the best OPs. Sounded different here, but that didn’t change its gloriousness any. I can only imagine how they’ll cut it next week, though… :-\

Euggh. [shudders] Now that is graphic.

Joseph’s number one question right now: who the hell is Dio?

LOOK INTO MY SPECIAL EYES.

I fucking love Joseph’s “next you’ll say” shtick. :D

Oh, so he has heard of Dio. My mistake, then. :-[

SHOTGUN TO THE FACE.

DODGE! But only barely.

Hirohiko Araki is the kind of guy who likes to write up tangents about things only slightly related to the matter at hand. In this case, the beetle stomachs woven into Straitzo’s scarf being the reason he survived Joseph’s Hamon blast.

:D What the hell was with the random logo just now?

Eat grenade, punk!

Wait, scratch that. Eat grenades! ;D

Right here’s the moment that allowed me to rate this episode so… accurately nearly one year ago. All those bloody gibs.

FUCK YEAH IT’S TIME FOR THE JOESTAR FAMILY SECRET TECHNIQUE.

Welp, that girl’s doomed.

I feel that Senketsu’s narration came in out of nowhere here.

Just reminding everyone that Straitzo’s butt-naked right now. And that is what’s truly frightening.

Clearly the solution to the Curse of the Ring is to have super-small TVs scattered around your house. And that’s when you break out THE HAMMER.

SCREENCAP #2: Joseph just doesn’t give a fuck.

Well, he just removed one of her teeth, that should be enough to make it his problem.

Aw man, there goes the cool coat. But that tank top also works, no homo.

OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO.

It can’t be said enough that Joseph is completely awesome.

Ah yes, the dangers of inescapable destiny.

The Pillar Man, you say?

And then he became a living Hamon grenade.

GRATUITOUS CHEST-BANGING.

Haha, those wacky Nazis. :)

This guy is… disturbing.

Oh thank god Speedwagon’s still alive. As he should be.

Dammit Joseph now’s not the time to flirt.

They’re both right; he did call her a floozy, but only because he thought Straitzo was bluffing when he said he’d kill her.

Ah, 1930s-era feminism.

:D She just remembered that she lost a tooth. That sort of thing tends to happen.

“I can’t wait to see Mexico.” Where the food is delicious and the members of the opposite sex are too.

That is a strange saying.

OH NO IT’S THE PILLAR MAN.

I take it that syringe contains either a lethal injection or truth serum.

GERMAN MEDICINE IS THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD!

Random gargling.

I like that kid’s stereotypical Mexican accent.

Yeahhhh the Nazis did horrible shit like this all the time.

YES deserved to get into the Rock ‘n’ Roll hall of fame last year. And they picked the perfect time to get in; during the Toonami broadcast of the one anime to feature their music.

 

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM UNICORN RE:0096

I have a feeling we’ll come back to this scene later.

Something about a dead father and unicorns.

This OP is surprisingly chill for the franchise it’s a part of.

Wait, if this is Universal Century 0096, why are they doing away with Anno Domini now of all times?

Well… that doesn’t look good.

GIVE IT UP FOR KILL ‘EM ALL TOMINO, EVERYBODY!

Oh, so that was all just a flashback. Also nevermind, then. :-[

And apparently what’s about to go down is going to be so much worse.

I’m gonna keep from asking too many questions and just go along with what’s happening in real time.

“And stop calling me Master.” Feels weird to you, doesn’t it?

Those purple explosions always intrigue me.

That fight was cool. Don’t know what that one guy meant by “Damn sleaze!”, though.

I assume they’re talking about the events of Mobile Suit Gundam, or maybe the events of Char’s Counterattack.

FUCK YEAH HARO.

What an interestingly designed space classroom.

Eff yeah a Zaku.

That one chick with the long hair is pretty cute. Something bad’s gonna happen to her isn’t it.

GUNDAM SPOTTED.

I miss when the Haros were able to speak. But this Haro just flopping its “wings” around is fun too. :-D

This pilot’s looking awfully intense right now.

So is that Mobile Suit supposed to be a secret? I have a feeling that’s the case.

Sometimes I forget that Bright Noa is still alive, even now. That guy’s slaps are amazing, I hear.

“What are you doing? Don’t applaud, do what I just said!”

Check it out, a logo with a unicorn on it.

This girl’s hair looks very ‘70s.

Right into the danger zone… and out the airlock.

Hey, it’s Stephanie Sheh’s voice.

Banagher just doesn’t give a fuck about authority.

Huh, so the Haro can speak after all.

I can’t wait until we get airbags that retreat back into their hiding place after activating and making sure the people inside are safe.

Dammit Stephanie Sheh be gentle.

What a place to finish the episode. Not the worst, but it could’ve been better.

 

:D I was expecting the Queen to be offended by the holographic displays, but what really offended her was the astronaut wanting to change his career option.

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

We training time now.

Dang, Wing’s a good liar. I almost bought that one too. :o

:-D Oh Killua, your interests are in the exact place I expected them to be.

Zetsuin?

I love that Ren release pose for some reason.

Apparently Nen is visible on recorded data. The HxHverse has some neat technology.

Wait, there were more than 13 threads?

I like the remote in the back pocket.

The answer is maybe.

Who knew Wing was such a difficult teacher and yet so casual about it?

The enemy has been detected. And, of course, it’s those three.

“Get wins beating us off.” Killua, you do realize how gay that sounds, don’t you?

Yeah, fuck that purple guy.

What’s with all the pigs?

Oh shit not this creepy dude again.

Huh, so his arms are made of Nen. Should’ve guessed.

Who knows what terrible things they’re going to do to that shoe…

HERE COMES KILLUA TO SAVE THE DAY~.

Well, that was easier than I expected.

Gon has no idea what just happened.

Hopefully Killua actually kills the next guy who fucks with him and his friends.

“The Invisible Hand of Fate”, they call it.

FUCK YEAH KILLUA.

And that’s why it’s called Bungee Gum.

This episode went over surprisingly well.

Well, at least until Killua happened. Way to go, assassin child.

His skin looks like it’s about to melt off.

Fuck yeah, Killua. :-D

 

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

Sasuke can’t believe his eyes… or Tobi’s, for that matter.

Fool, like you can kill Madara Uchiha.

“You will know how Itachi Uchiha lived…” Because he sure as hell knows how he died.

Oh yeah, those two old people.

Is he saying “Remember Itachi.” or “Remember, Itachi.”?

Sasuke, your Ten is showing.

Personally, I find putting your crest on the insignia for something to be kind of show-offy.

So many thoughts going through his head, and so little time to process it all.

YOU’RE NOT BREATHING SLOWLY ENOUGH.

Well, that’s certainly some boring-looking bondage.

TWIST #1: Itachi didn’t murder his family out of his own volition.

A long story, eh? If only someone had thought to bring some popcorn.

:-D That one crow.

TOO MANY SHARINGANS.

Hashirama was a handsome man, no homo.

Next time on DBS, apparently King Kai’s planet is back to normal, and yet he’s still dead for some reason.

Why does Madara’s weapon look like some weird type of stringed instrument?

What Madara’s saying goes against what the flashback from before said. But since he’s being honest and Itachi wasn’t… ah, whatever.

The irony is, all those coffins belong to Uchiha casualties.

HISTORY LESSONS, FUCK YEAH.

Man, fuck the Uchihas.

The first time I saw the episodes at the Valley of the End, I forgot all about those statues of Hashirama and Madara.

TWIST #2: The first two Hokages were brothers.

They say the Nine-Tails’ attack was a natural disaster, but was it really?

AND TWIST  #3: The Uchihas were planning to start shit, and Itachi was sent to “take out the trash”, so to speak.

 

ONE PIECE

TOP BILLING: Moria.

I don’t know who animated this whole defeat scene last episode, but they did a damned good job with it.

Ouuuuuuuch. I could feel that in my spine.

Of all the things of his to transform in this sequence, his feet look the freakiest of them all.

Great, his laugh sounds even worse now.

Holy crap, Luffy’s back to normal already? Man, he got better at this¬ whole recovery thing after Enies Lobby.

Trust me, Luffy will find a way.

That wail of his just sounds wrong.

Brooks just relieved that his shadow wasn’t taken either.

ISLAND SPLITTER!

And then they all performed the Joestar secret technique.

“They’re completely fearless.” Well, except for Usopp, but still, his refusal to move kinda counter-balances that.

Holy shit Lola you are awesome. Why are all the ugly chicks in One Piece so damn cool?

GET WILD AND TOUGH.

So the Straw Hats are gonna win no matter what happens? Had a feeling.

Alright, now Moria’s wailing sounds like a dying animal. How appropriate.

FUCK YEAH LUFFY.

I blame Doppelman for this one.

Now we’re starting to hear the true GeneralIvan in his voice…

So how long until he realizes that he can’t crush rubber?

THAT’S RIGHT YOU DON’T EVER FUCK AROUND WITH LUFFY.

Personally, I don’t think SuperMansion looks that bad. That’s probably just the part of me that liked Ubermansion talking, though.

Oh hey, an Enies Lobby flashback.

Because sometimes, the Joestar Secret Technique is just impossible to pull off.

No one tells Luffy what not to do.

WHAT GUSTO.

Eh, still not as annoying as “TO THE SEA!”

Right in his enlarged Adam’s apple.

Alright, if that doesn’t knock him out, then I don’t know what will.

And then he projectile-vomited black ooze everywhere. Just like in that one movie with the couple chasing the pig around their house.

You couldn’t have picked a worse place to end the episode than here.

 

[because gravity sucks]

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Things I learned last night: Nyquil + Uchiha angst = me instantly passing out for 12 goddamn hours

 

Jojo- I love new Jojo. Run now Smokey before you get killed. I'll make out with you. SHOOT HIM AGAIN. I don't know who this hot naked lady is in the OP but I like her. Dio, continuing to fuck things up from beyond the grave. LASER EYES. Yeah I'm sure that worked. How could he possibly be alive with that hole in his head? Okay he just used a tommy gun as a baseball bat I am officially in love. Well I guess that would have been too easy. Those bugs can fuck right off. And then he blew him right the fuck up. Oh this is some bullshit. RUN SMOKEY. Oh my god I'm cracking up. Oh lady you are gonna get murdered. Thanks, science narrator. We don't even know that lady go ahead and kill her! How dare you even speak Speedwagon's name you bastard. Stop with the finger thing it's creeping me out. Owwwww. I enjoy that he strips when angry. SUCK IT, DOUCHE. I don't even know how that works but okay. You know damn well Speedwagon is too pure for hell. Welcome to the Bizarre Adventure, buddy. This sounds like it's gonna be a bad time. Ah, to be young and constantly nude again. Fuck the Nazis. Nazi vampires sounds like a bad mix. Well this is creepy. SPEEDWAGON IS ALIVE I'M SO HAPPY. I like this girl she's feisty. Go kill some Nazis and rescue Speedwagon! I feel like bringing the statue was a bad idea. DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH SPEEDWAGON. That kid looks exactly like the one kid that old Jojo saved. And here's another creepy dude, licking a knife on a cactus.

 

Gundam- I will be so disappointed if this show is not actually about a mecha unicorn. Oh hey a unicorn, there's half of my wish. I hope they visit the Neutral Planet. I automatically dont trust this guy. I don't think that was supposed to blow up. Space grandpa's bed looks comfy at least. Did I just see a SPACE TANK because that sounds stupid and awesome. I like the robot that's just a collection of Metapods. Oh hey she's cute maybe I can sit through this after all. I hate all these kids already. That's called puberty, kids. Meanwhile, more people I don't care about. Whoever makes up the names in this franchise should be fired immediately. Yeah I'm not really paying attention to any of this but that little green DANGERbot is cute.

 

Hunter- This is fun and all but when does the hot idiot come back into the show. Gon is a precious child and would never break his promise. He's so talented! Oh hey that's a nifty little power. Hisoka's abilities come from his murderous clown powers. I am way too dumb to remember these names. Aww he's adorable. LOOK WITH YOUR SPECIAL EYES. Wing's pretty okay looking I guess. Aw fuck it's Hisoka isn't it. Not Hisoka but almost as creepy. Killua is having none of your shit. You leave my adorable children alone, you freaks. That flying pig background cracks me up. Oh no I got a bad feeling about this. NO DON'T GO DOWN THE DARK ALLEY. Oh nooooo. Oh thank god, kill them all. This is gettin' real molesty for an episode that doesn't even have Hisoka. Oh you dicks. Killua is taking no shit today. He figured it out I'm so proud. Don't let that kid out of your sight, people. HOLY SHIT KILLUA DOES NOT FUCK AROUND.

 

Naruto- Oh my god show I cannot handle more Uchiha angst. Gee I can't imagine why he wouldn't trust you. So why did Itachi have those big lines on his face. Please gag Sasuke so he shuts the hell up. Dude you're putting a lot of faith in this masked man who ties up unconscious teenage boys. This was just an excuse for him to talk about how great he is. This is a history lesson I never gave a shit about, show. Meanwhile my suffering has been going on for 140 episodes.

 

One Piece- I forgot that Moria turned goddamn terrifying. Aim for his giant junk! At least Brook can live on for everyone. Aw shit it's dawn. I love Lola so much. Usopp is just frozen in fear. Nooo Lola's on fire. Pssh, 1000 vs 9 seems like almost a challenge. Moria wheezing sounds like how I feel right now. FUCKING BATS. Well at least Luffy's safe from the sunlight in there. He's made of rubber, crushing him does nothing you idiot. Good job douche you just made him angry. I sure hope your own shadow is the next one that gets spit out. It'll be fine there's plenty of people to carry him this time. Make him barf like how I've felt this entire week! You tell 'em, Lola! Okay I can understand Lola not wanting to fight the giant axe warthog, buy you two had your shadows in a couple of squirrels. That is looking gross. And then everyone was on fire. Whelp that was about ten seconds too late.

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Jojo... Go kill some Nazis and rescue Speedwagon!

 

Gundam... Whoever makes up the names in this franchise should be fired immediately.

 

There is nothing about that sentence I don't like.

 

There is one name I saw on the MAL page that you're going to love until the show most likely will not live up to it.

 

Poke: I refuse to call Sauce by his actual name until he does something I consider worthy of earning back that consideration. No, killing Orochimaru doesn't count, because it denied us Steve Blum. Neither did killing Itachi count, because it deprived us of Crispin Freeman.

 

DBS - I spoke with someone at work about two weeks ago who has been watching subs of DBS. I wanted to know the chronology for Super, Battle of Gods and Resurrection F, and he said that Super takes several episodes covering the events of those movies. He also laid a lot of other details on me about it at other times, but I don't feel spoiled and don't remember enough about what he said to repeat any of it.

 

Goku driving a tractor was unexpected and funny, but not as funny as Goten making a winding path with the plow. When Goten drove the tractor off the cliff, I wasn't sure who would catch the tractor while flying, him or Goku. Goku clearing trees with an ax and pulling the stumps by hand was completely fitting.

 

Aw, Gohan and Videl are married. That's sweet, and so was she to humor Goten and Trunks when they gave her the gift.

 

Bulma looks to be aging well, but age isn't being quite as kind to Chi Chi. Also, I'm not particularly fond of Videl's new hairstyle.

 

Buu pestering Mr. Satan for food during the press conference was fun, but it seemed longer than necessary.

 

Heh, Chi Chi was blinded by wealth when Goku handed over the reward Mr. Satan (rightly) relinquished to him. I'm going to guess that the Zeni-to-Yen conversion rate is 1:1.

 

I'm not sure whether this Beerus is a cat or a jackal, but that's not important. The important part is that he obliterated half a planet and sentenced those still living on the other side to death in no more than a few weeks (if not days, or even hours) because something which may not have actually been a dessert had a fattier aftertaste than he thought would be appropriate for a dessert.

 

DBZK - When I saw Gohan catch the bullets, it reminded me of Wonder Woman in one of the Justice League shows saying of .45 rounds in the 1800s, "these are the biggest, slowest bullets I've ever seen." Yes, I know that this episode was on the previous Toonami before that JL episode, because this is material I saw on that Toonami, but it still brought that scene to mind.

 

Maybe I wasn't paying as much attention back then, but Videl seems angrier/grumpier in this version than she did in DBZ. Perhaps it's something different about the V.A.'s delivery.

 

I don't think Gohan laughing off the gym teacher's observations will work for very long.

 

JoJo - First and most importantly, HOORAY! SPEEDWAGON IS STILL ALIVE!! I am fearful for him, though, because he was recovered by a Nazi expedition. Since this is outside of Germany, that means the group is likely headed by a member of the SS or the Thule Society (you know, those nozzles who used Envy during Shamballa to try to invade Amestris. In our history, though, Thule members did seek to employ black magic and searched for supernatural weapons to aid the Reich), possibly both. Such thoroughly evil dudes having custody of a wounded Speedwagon doesn't bode well for him.

 

I have the same questions for Joseph regarding the grenades as I had regarding the Thompson: where did he get them and how did he conceal them? I saw no satchel on his person capable of holding all of them. Also, Joseph's "next you'll say..." thing is already wearing thin for me. His secret technique being super-run-away was funny, though.

 

While Joseph ultimately did the right thing in saving the photographer woman from Straitso, Joseph was a jerk in the way he spoke when trying to bluff Straitso. Afterward, it was also mean of him to remind the irate woman of what should've been substantial pain from her extracted tooth. However, that rudeness paled in comparison to his psychopathic use of armaments. The recap of him firing into Straitso did show that the area behind his target, i.e. the interior of the restaurant, had several occupants who were endangered by the gunfire. Then there was his use of fragmentation grenades on Straitso. Even with Straitso's body being between the grenades and the crowd outside (or in rooms with common walls to the restaurant), that many grenades would produce a large volume of shrapnel, and I would expect at least one bystander to be wounded or killed by those devices. Even on the other side of the street, the bystanders would still be in the range of the shrapnel.

 

I'm not sure how Straitso was able to regenerate from the damage the grenades did without feeding on a lot of people, but oh well. At least the explosion took his hamon-eating scarf out of the equation. I'm sure Dio would've liked to have had a handy garment like that when he faced Jonathan. I'm not sure how it would be possible for Straitso, a vampire, to generate hamon to help Joseph kill him. Please explain that, show.

 

The man encased in rock in the Mexican cave being called a Pillar Man makes enough sense, but I get the feeling that he (and others like him?) will be a problem for Joseph.

 

MSG: U - Gundam confuses me sometimes in that there are several alternate universes portrayed in the various shows of the franchise. This is set in the U.C. (Universal Century) continuity, and from what I can tell, that's the same universe as the original MSG, as well as War in the Pocket and Char's Counterattack, and I think there are others as well which I haven't seen any of the series. I know I've been exposed to some of the past developments in this show's universe, but it has been several years, perhaps over a decade, since I've seen any of that material, so I don't remember things very well. I know that Zaku's were the mechs for Zeon. If we're being shown one of those preserved in a museum-type setting, then either it's there as part of a battlefield spoil collection showing recovered artifacts of the enemy or we're being shown a story where Zeon and those sympathetic to them are going to be portrayed positively rather than as an aggressing, breakaway faction. Time will tell.

 

I'm hesitant to trust this girl who is ostensibly an intruder on the station where our apparent M.C., Banagher Links, who I haven't decided whether to call him by his first or last name yet, was. I also am unsure how to feel about that pretty redheaded lady piloting what looked like a Zaku, but I must admire her skill in using those maneuverable cannons remotely to make short work of her opponents.

 

I'm not sure whether that space station explosion was in the distant past, near past or present. Knowing more about the U.C. timeline would probably help.

 

Sure, Banagher would not only happen to look out a window at just the right time to catch a glimpse of the titular mech on a test flight, but he also was looking the right way at another time to spot the intruder girl and then take that construction robot out to save her. Why not?

 

HxH - Wing using nen on the string was an interesting way to keep Gon honest, but Gon is a good kid, and he kept his word without even knowing there'd be a way for Wing to determine if Gon had cheated.

 

Of course Killua would be better at using Ren to see Hisoka's nen threads than Zushi was. I am a little surprised that he got more details right than Gon did. However, the most surprising thing is that recording technology in the HxH universe is capable of capturing visible (to people focusing their Ren in their eyes) nen in footage, but then it doesn't replay the nen as a readily visible image to everyone. That's verging on Time Lord art there, an instant frozen in time.

 

The rookie-preying trio are jerks and scum for taking Zushi, someone who isn't a 200th-Floor competitor, hostage to try to get easy wins out of Gon and Killua. At least Gon and Killua were smart enough to talk to each other about what happened. I liked Killua's solution to the problem as well. Him thinking that not killing people is tough made me smile. Here's hoping the guy has the sense to forfeit against Gon next episode as well.

 

Shippuden - I'm cool with a history lesson from Tobi/Madara. The story of the warring states and the ninja clans they employed was informative. I'm not sure I entirely believe him about his brother offering his eyes so Madara could better protect and lead the Uchihas, but eh. I think he might've also been stretching the truth when talking about the Uchihas being put in charge of Konoha's police force as a means of isolating them and keeping an eye on them. Still, I do think that he was telling the truth in that Hiruzen would've been the only one in Konoha's leadership to stand up for the Uchihas, because he was a good man and would've sought to do right by those citizens of Konoha. However, *spoilers*

if I understand the developments correctly, I know that Tobi was lying about the Nine-Tails' attack 16 years ago being a natural disaster, because he, Obito Uchiha, was controlling the Nine-Tails with his Sharingan as he sought revenge against Kakashi, Minato and Konoha for Rin's death.

 

 

OP - I've already expressed my doubts about Moria keeping his body intact after taking in so many Shadows. I'll readily accept Luffy surviving the expansion of his Hulk mode and returning to normal, because he's a Rubber Man. Stretching, bouncing and reverting to his original shape are the nature of his powers. That's fine. Moria has no such inherent power, or at least not one which was stated by the show up to this point. I previously addressed that it looked like his body even had an existing structural integrity weakness. When Luffy started hitting Moria and Shadows emerged, it made sense that they could escape, but once they were out of his body and free of his grip or the grip of his Shadow, then they should've made beelines back to their original bodies. We saw it happen with Brook's Shadow. That's a precedent. It doesn't make sense that Moria could control those Shadows, turning them into bats like he did with his own Shadow, after they exited and broke all contact with his body and Shadow. The extent of control we've seen Moria have over others' Shadows has been manipulating ones with which he had contact and the general obedience which the Shadows display with time while in a zombie. The only Shadow to have that kind of malleability out of a zombie has been Moria's, but when we apply the principle of Shadow Revolution as a way for Moria to hold his non-rubber body together, then he can't send his Shadow out to surround and trap Luffy without exploding. I will admit that I can see one possible way for Moria to do what we saw with the Shadow bats; Moria could've put his own Shadow into his body with the others and divided it so that a portion of it remained in contact with each foreign Shadow, and thus if part of his Shadow is still in contact with each of the escaped Shadows, then he could still exert control over them, perhaps even to the point of reshaping them like he can do with his own Shadow. However, dividing it that many times and deliberately attaching each part to a foreign Shadow would take time, and I feel like he wouldn't have had enough time to do that before Luffy attacked. Thus, Moria would need incredible luck for each of the Shadows which escaped to have part of his Shadow attached when it exited him. Plus, once Luffy's strikes started connecting, it would take tremendous concentration for Moria to keep the attachment process going, and I don't think he has that kind of focus. If the attachment idea is correct, then it would explain why the escaped Shadows aren't returning to their original bodies immediately.

 

The tl;dr version? Moria not exploding is still livestock excrement, but it is possible, though highly unlikely, for him to continue controlling Shadows in the way shown in this episode. Once everyone recovers their Shadows, we need Zoro to decapitate Moria so he and his poorly conceived powers don't show up at some point in the future, though again, I doubt Kuma would allow that to happen.

 

Um, Moria? You might want to take it easy with the earth-/ship-shattering strikes. Recall that you do have a Devil Fruit power and are on a ship in the open water.

 

I must respect actual Lola for her courage, determination and loyalty. Part of her head being on fire must've been excruciatingly painful, but she withstood it for minutes before members of her crew tackled her into shade. Since several of the Straw Hats were similarly ignited by the end of the episode, I sure hope I'm wrong about Moria attaching pieces of his Shadow to each of the other Shadows so those Shadows can return to their original bodies early in the next episode.

 

I have a logistical concern regarding the size of Moria's zombie horde. Each Shadow is still mortally bound to its original body. If the person dies, then the Shadow vanishes and the zombie it animates ceases to function. We saw in a flashback featuring Brook that it's very difficult for those who escape Thriller Bark to stay out of sunlight. With that in mind, it's very likely that most of Moria's victims are still on Thriller Bark, but it doesn't strike me as being large enough to sustain that kind of population for extended periods, especially if it's been in the darkened confines of the Florian Triangle for years, which would make agriculture difficult, if not impossible. Yes, there are mature trees with foliage and grassy areas on the ship, but perennial plants like that can, in a warm climate, survive with less light making it through the cloud cover than grain crops would need to sprout and grow to harvesting maturity in a timely fashion. Maybe they feed themselves from fish they catch, but I feel like a more reliable way for Moria to maintain the strength of his zombie army would be to provide rations for his victims still on the ship, since if those people die of malnutrition or illness (which is more likely for someone who is slowly starving to death), then he will lose zombie soldiers that he must replace by getting more Shadows to animate them. Feeding such a large number of people would be quite difficult since Moria's income would be limited by his ship's stationary position, and I can't imagine many people would sell to zombie crews. Maybe Moria is super-lucky, and the W.G. helps him with that by sending supply ships to him.

 

OPM - The obnoxious guy clearly wasn't using his brain. What kind of "weak" hero is capable of creating a door-sized (at least, probably larger) hole in a monster with one punch? Okay, maybe the crowd couldn't see the hole from their vantage point, but they would've been able to see that the substantial falling rain stopped for several seconds in the area behind the monster, meaning there was a shockwave powerful enough to push all that rain out of the way immediately following the punch. I guess I can't blame them for being too focused on the monster to notice that detail. Still, I take exception to the obnoxious guy calling some of the Heroes "average Joes." I feel like the average person would get no more than 25 points on the physical portion of the exam, meaning they would need a score of 45 on the written test to get a minimal passing score, and 90% is higher than a C, or average, grade.

 

I was glad to read in the manga that Puri Puri Prisoner's visit to Lightning Max and Stinger was not canon.

 

I've read all ten volumes of OPM that I have, and I must say two things. First, while lil' Garo had a point, adult Garo did one thing in particular to make me mad. Second, da-yum, Fukubi.

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MSG: U - I'm not sure whether that space station explosion was in the distant past, near past or present. Knowing more about the U.C. timeline would probably help.

 

From the context of the scene - a ceremony celebrating the official change from the Anno Domini way of counting the years to the Universal Century system - and the fact that Unicorn takes place in 0096 U.C., I'd say distant past on that one. Yes, it confused me too, and the flash-forward cold opening scene of Banagher getting in the Gundam didn't really help matters.

 

Taking Straitzo's final words, warning him of the dangers of the mysterious Pillar Man, to heart, Joseph has set off for the Mexican border in the hopes of finding answers about Speedwagon's fate. But as important as his safety is, Speedwagon's own worries lie with the Pillar Man, and what Major Rudol Von Stroheim and his team of Nazi scientists plan to do with him. Whatever the case, things are about to get particularly nasty in Mexico, and in more ways than one.

 

While I leave you to figure that out, Goku goes to King Kai's to train while Vegeta goes on his first family vacation, Gohan develops his own superhero persona in order to crime-fight without being caught, Banagher accompanies the girl he randomly saved to stop what might be the beginning of another One Year War, with one of the three Floor 200 rookie-crushers down Gon and Killua prepare to take care of the other two, Madara finishes up his Uchiha angst exposition by explaining Itachi's true motives, will the shadows Moria puked up make their way back to their owners before they burn to a crisp in broad daylight?, and Saitama crashes a meeting of Class S heroes in what many would later consider a very good call.

 

8:00 - Dragonball Super #2 - To the Promised Resort! Vegeta Takes a Family Trip? - TV-PGLV

...

11:30 - Dragonball Super #2 - To the Promised Resort! Vegeta Takes a Family Trip? - TV-PGLV

12:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #100 - A New Hero, Great Saiyaman, is Born! - TV-PGLV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #12 - The Pillar Man - TV-MAV (broadcast and personal)

1:00 - Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 #2 - First Blood - TV-PGLV

1:30 - Hunter x Hunter #34 - Power to Avenge - TV-14V

2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #141 - Truth - TV-14V

2:30 - One Piece #375 - Not Out of Danger Yet! Orders to Annihilate the Straw Hat Crew - TV-PGLV

3:00 - One Punch Man #10 - Unparalleled Peril - TV-14LV

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Don't drink the water, Joseph.

 

From the title and what we've seen, I'd guess that the Straw Hats will regain their Shadows promptly, but they'll soon be set upon by Kuma. It would be rough going from one Warlord battle directly into another one when Luffy presumably wouldn't have the chance to refuel with a lot of meat.

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Jojo- I love this Jojo so much. Well that's a nifty power. Aw fuck it's a magic Nazi. Why is that guy's face so weird. Owww don't punch a cactus. OWWWWW. That Nazi was surprisingly forthcoming with the information. SAVE GRAMPY SPEEDWAGON AT ALL COSTS. Ohhh that can't be a good thing. Leave Speedwagon alone he doesn't deserve this. If you call something impenetrable it's definitely getting penetrated within the hour. Oh nooooo that is definitely not a good thing. Y'all should probably run now. Well good at least it's too clumsy to chase you down. Yes insult him that'll work out great  for you. This is some weird gay porn. Well that's different. He's totally about to break out of that chamber and hurt you. Oh yeah this is definitely going just great. Pillar guy is weirdly hot what's he packin' in those underoos. YES JOJO SAVE SPEEDWAGON. Nazis are dicks. :D Holy shit Jojo I love you. Never call him a sissy. Fuck your coffee! Aw fuck he escaped didn't he. Dude he survived centuries as a giant rock I don't think oxygen's much of a problem. What in the hell. Sooo I'm guessing he's not packing much in the wang department then. Whelp y'all are gonna die. Wow that looks painful. The moral of the story is that Nazis ruin everything. YES IT'S JOJO SAVE SPEEDWAGON. I'd just leave and let all the Nazis die. I love him so much. Is he gonna strip again because I'm all for that.

 

Gundam- i like that BB-8 gets his own seatbelt in the mecha. If he's calling it a rumor obviously he hasn't been there, dumbass. I want a hotdog now. Great job on the whole escaping thing. Is somebody named Full Frontal? BB-8 to the rescue. And here's some grown men getting their shit kicked by an eighth grader. BB-8 is the best character. Why is there a mansion out there anyway? The lack of giant mecha unicorns still disappoints me. These sure are words you all are saying. Just leave BB-8 with her, she'll be in fine hands. Calm down there, Renton. So she's pretty much Kudelia only with less stupid hair. Who is Full Frontal are they hot. Obvioiusly, the box contains an embarrassing photo of Spongebob at last year's Christmas party. It must be Gundam tradition that I don't know what's going on in mecha fights. Beard man looks as bored and unimpressed as I am. Is the secret weapon graphic nudity?

 

Hunter- I enjoy Killua immensely. Gon is a precious baby who deserves to win. Do they not know who Killua is? Okay I feel like the Hunter Exam is easier and gives better rewards. Jesus, Killua really does not fuck around. Yaaay Gon won. Try not to break your limbs this time, kiddo. Hit him in the dick with the fishing pole! FUCK YOUR TOPS, ASSHOLE. Kick his ass, Gon! Don't fuck with Gon. GET WRECKED. I'm adopting all these kids they're so sweet. Meanwhile, Hisoka being creepy. Kick his ass, Killua! Man, you guys are gonna piss yourselves when you figure out who his family his. Snaaaaakes. At least Killua's having fun. Noooo leave my baby alone. Dude I'm pretty sure he got worse than that before breakfast every day. RIDE THE LIGHTNING, FUCKER. i'm so proud of my adorable children today. GODDAMMIT HISOKA GET OUT OF HERE. At least Gon's having fun. RIDE THE LIGHTING AGAIN, FUCKER. I think you broke him. Is there anything creepier than an evil clown hiding in a dark hallway? I need an adult.

 

Naruto- I still don't give a shit, show. Whatever anguish Itachi experienced, it's nothing compared to the anguish I feel every week watching this show. So, Itachi was good all along and just lied the whole time so Sasuke wouldn't wuss out of killling him? Was his lover just a dozen anonymous dicks at once. I DON'T CARE, SHOW. Oh hey, can my boyfriend be in the show again?

 

One Piece- I'm sad that they cut Ace out of the OP. Well that sucks. Meanwhile, everybody else gets their shadows back. At least these complete strangers are having a good day. Awww it's Cindry's shadow. Oh hey she's really cute. She is gonna bang her boss. Yaaaaay they're not dead! YOHOHOHO. I'm so happy for Brook. Sure that sounds like it makes sense. Aw goddammit both of them are still alive. Eh he'll be fine he can bounce back. I forgot about the old guy with serious injuries. Lola is the best and I love her so much. And then Nami killed Zoro. Oh yeah, we're still in mortal peril. Do you have a minute to talk abou the Lord? They are having a bad day. And then everyone died. Kick his ass, Zoro! I wonder where Perona went. Ace better be okay or I'm gonna be pissed. RUN LIKE HELL. Aim for his junk! Ohhh this can't be good.

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I like to think Nazi Hughes reformed his ways post-Shamballa, or at least was racist only towards the Gypsies and not the Jews.

 

DRAGONBALL SUPER

Even in short form, I love this OP for reasons unexplained.

“…mankind no longer remembers the destruction caused by Majin Buu.” Neither do us, we haven’t even seen it yet.

My uncle actually questioned why King Kai has a car when his planet is so small. The answer I gave was so he could kill time.

King Kai, you fool, you don’t explain your jokes!

I kind of feel like that was an overreaction.

That fried rice looks delicious.

REMINDER: This is Sean Schemmel talking to himself.

I always did think that outfit looked safari-ish.

Bulma with hair above her ears and lipstick isn’t exactly an attractive look for her. Unless it’s the afro.

Vegeta gives no fucks. As expected of the Prince of all Saiyans.

A spiky fruit and a regular fruit. Sound familiar?

Okay, from that angle, it looks pretty good.

Yep, I’m now convinced that Zeni are this universe’s Yen.

Oh hey, flashbacks to things we haven’t seen yet. Not exactly a spoiler, outside of Princess Trunks going Super Saiyan earlier than his future counterpart.

That’s the biggest ice cream I’ve ever seen! And the most ridiculous jack-in-the-box I’ve ever seen.

Vegeta demands a bigger caboose. (No, Mochi.)

ALL YOU CAN EAT!

And then he was Mr. Popo.

“Remember your breathing exercises!”

Never thought of Vegeta as the kind who hated mosh pits.

DANCE-OFF! DANCE-OFF!

Okay, you made yourself some space, now breakdance!

Or you can do that, it’s impressive enough.

Minor flaws, and yet you dock it too points. You savage, TOM.

You can’t just not like Beerus. Same can be said for Whis.

What the fuck are those teeth.

Alright, these four-eyed warrior aliens are kinda cute.

NOOOOO THE ALIENS.

And that must be their leader.

:D You are the best, Blue Dandy.

Last I checked, a century was 100 years, not 60.

A galactic pop star, huh?

Wow, Beerus is actually pretty awesome. As to be expected of someone capable of destroying a planet with a single tap of the finger.

I can sympathize with the whole earwax thing.

Welp, so much for that planet…

In a way, I guess destroying the dinosaur did help out.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR. [guitar riff]

Those are some serious weights.

TWIN INFINITY SYMBOLS.

“There is nothing more beautiful than a shattering planet.” Yes, that explosion does look awfully pretty.

Super Saiyan God sounds serious. But is it stronger than Super Saiyan 4?

You don’t need to ask him twice during the stone age!

TOP BILLING: Go-wait, Gohan? But he wasn’t in this episode! And neither was Videl… And wait, did they just credit Erasa and Sharpner too!? Goddammit, FUNimation, keep track of your cast credits!

 

I feel like that squirting acne cream was supposed to represent ejaculation.

 

DRAGONBALL Z KAI

Those slacks still aren’t brown. (On my TV…)

Huh, never pictured Bulma as a smoker.

FUCK YEAH CAPSULE CORP.

Quick reminder that this universe’s Trunks was raised by Vegeta.

Yeah, this Kid Trunks is voiced by Laura Bailey, while the Super one is Alexis Tipton.

:) That sliding door noise.

“…Since when have we had that aquarium?”

Awesome, a communicator wristwatch.

Of course Gohan’s taste would fit that of the outfit.

For a second there, I thought those palm trees were cracks in the earth or somethin’.

I like how late ‘80s this music sounds.

Surely the 69 on their car is just a coincidence. ::)

CARTOON PHYSICS, BITCH.

You were being rhetorical, now you’re just being transparent.

To be fair, he didn’t leave his house with that getup, but yeah, Chi-Chi has no idea.

EARTHQUAKE KICK.

“Drive safe, now!”

Well, he is Goku’s son, even if he isn’t the real father figure in his life.

Oh hi, Goku Jr.

Well, the abbreviation is definitely SSG…

I’m personally surprised at how chill Chi-Chi’s gotten over the past seven years.

“Try to watch out for planes.” :D

And the product of a near-endless sex marathon.

Sweet, stosses.

Still as awkward as ever, eh, Gohan?

Of course the bus is filled with seniors.

‘Member that time when Cell smacked Mr. Satan into a giant rock?

POSING: ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA.

LET THOSE SENIORS ALONE.

Heh, the seniors are more comfortable with this situation than I’d have expected.

Sweet, a Satan-copter.

I assume that thing’s on auto-pilot now.

FUCK YEAH VIDEL.

Watch out for that clif-whoops, too late. -_’

Thanks for the help, Great Saiyaman.

Could’ve posed that better…

TOP BILLING: Gohan. Now that’s more like it. :)

 

And so this classic Hot Pockets commercial returned, and the Tumblr community collectively orgasmed at the DING.

 

JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

SCREENCAP #1: The road to Mexico is lined with cacti.

Even with a knife in the arm, Joseph can’t help but view this guy as more than a nuisance.

I feel like that OP cut should’ve gone on a little longer. The transition was perfect, but the ending was abrupt. Eh, at least it sounds decent now.

That brings up a good question, how do Germans smell?

Cactus needles? Well, that smarts.

:D God, Joseph’s creativity is hilariously amazing.

Next you’ll say, “I promise to tell Joseph Joestar everything!”

I’m a sucker for faces transposed against the sky.

:D Sucks to be you, Donovan.

Random gargling.

Even after 50 years, Speedwagon is still afraid.

If Speedwagon was a coward, he wouldn’t have stuck around to provide commentary on the Phantom Blood arc’s more action-focused sequences.

It’s leaking blood!

SUCCESS!

FUN FACT: Sanviento’s name in the original Japanese was Santana, but it had to be changed because apparently musicians can copyright even someone’s surname.

Slip and fall.

Nazis have weird senses of humor.

MORE LIKE ZE ULTIMATE EEDIOT.

He’s 2000 years old, of course he’d be primitive.

What the fuck is that face, but whatever it is, that ain’t no mask.

“Get in there…”

“Now look! He’s… He’s posing!”

Shows how soundproof your chamber is. :D

I wouldn’t call a hawk swiping a fish “not peaceful.

SCREENCAP #2: Joseph spying on the conspicuously constructed Nazi base.

Oh god, creepy molester Nazi guards. Ironically, this aired in Japan one week after the SAO episode where this happened.

:D I love how the old lady looks excited about being inspected.

>:D >:D Holy shit Joseph you are the best drag queen.

Because nothing is funnier than getting hit on the head with a coconut.

And now the coffee is ruined.

The chamber is impenetrable, and yet he still managed to escape without penetrating it.

Watch him swooce right in there.

Goddammit man he told you to get the fuck away from there!

And then he got fat, like the one in that video with all the monkey kids.

Eughhh…

Check it out, it’s the cover image for this show’s Nightmare Fuel page.

FINGER BANG!

Fuck yeah soldier Joseph.

Barrier Art? More like Hair-rier Art! :D

You see that star on his shoulder? That’s the Joestar family birthmark. That’ll be important later.

 

“Has the world gone completely bold?” If they did, there’d be a lot more nuclear explosions.

 

MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM UNICORN RE:0096

This opening narration really puts things in a slightly tighter perspective, doesn’t it?

Space subways, fuck yeah.

Huh, never expected his classmates to be on the same train.

With all the stuff going on in this show, it’s hard to make quips while paying attention.

Lettuce on a hot dog; supremely underrated.

She’s in love with the wiener. (Yes, I said it that way on purpose.)

Uh-oh, they’ve got company.

Told you there’d be a character in this franchise called Full Frontal. ;)

STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

:D Holy shit Banagher’s more of a badass than I expected.

Damn she’s a fast runner.

Personally I’m surprised Banagher managed to successfully fend her off.

:D Haro is the greatest.

Audrey Burns? Like C. Montgomery?

So where are these kids again?

“Banagher, you scoundrel! I was supposed to be your first!”

Wow, way to dub dialogue over a scene with no lip flaps.

Paper-thin video tablets. Truly the future is amazing.

If this space mansion is privately owned, why would the door be unlocked?

Still, that’s one fancy foyer.

It’s like going on a tour of the governor’s mansion.

Banagher recognizes that unicorn painting!

Clearly Banagher doesn’t give a fuck about what this dude thinks.

REPLY TO ANGEL 1: “Calm down there, Renton.” Technically he’s voiced by Moondoggie, but whatever.

For any of you who’re asking questions, Newtypes are humans raised in space who developed psychic powers as a result of their surroundings. In the SEED-verse, they call them Coordinators. Not to be confused with Newhalves.

Oh fuck you Audrey you’re just as heartless as your ancestor.

That poodle deserves to die in the most gruesome manner possible. >:( #poptartequality

The second coming of Char, you say…

Sweet-ass music… denied.

Poor dude, whoever he is.

The poison carrot? Like the poison donut?

Still love those retractable airbags.

Oh yeah, and there’s also this whole exposition about Newtypes being the true humans or some crap.

Did she just feel him die?

Those mobile suits just turned into tanks. So awesome. :D

Meanwhile, Banagher got over being kicked out of the governor’s mansion offscreen.

Kill ‘em All Tomino is at it again!

Well that escalated… not exactly quickly, but still pretty fast.

 

Was this originally a DVD featurette, because I doubt they’d go to this effort just for an [as] promo.

 

HUNTER x HUNTER

Guess we’re done with the Nen exposition, then.

I love you, assassin edgelord Killua. No homo.

One of my favorite things about cityscapes: shopping districts with roofs covering the streets.

Welp, Killua sure scared him shitless.

Killua’s the kind who kills people at their dinner tables, in their beds, and over their chamber pots.

SADASO, YOU AIN’T SHIT!

And now for a Nen montage.

Oh hey, he put a tapestry up over that hole he put in the wall.

He’s gonna use that?

Ah yes, the dreaded Fishing Rod style.

Shotgun Blues sounds like it was named after some sort of song.

Getting ahead in the battle requires not just physical skill, but the ability to mindfuck your opponent.

“His attacked missed his target!” Or did it?

:D Holy shit Gon you are fucking amazing. And people seriously hate this show…

GON PUNCH!

These kids are savage and that’s what makes them so lovable.

You know that noise you’re not hearing? That’s Hisoka’s boner.

Ohhh, different subtitles…

Wait, I thought Gon vs. Gido Round 2 was the main event! Ah, whatever, let’s see what Mr. Monster Wheelchair has in his own arsenal of Nen.

Even if this arena is your turf, you don’t fuck with the Zoldyck family.

Never mind, make that Mr. Rocket Wheelchair.

Besides that, he’s capable of something most dominatrices only wish they could do: control two whips at once.

Killua doing things Samurai Jack style by grabbing the whips with his bare hands.

ELECTRO WHIPS.

Gon seems to be enjoying this more than he should.

But that’s because Killua obviously had this victory in the bag.

“Just because I’m not feeling any pain from this, it doesn’t mean I’m a masochist.”

Poor Rocket Wheelchair man. :D

Those two fights were very much awesome.

But really, who cares about Gon vs. Riehlvelt? Especially when Gon vs. Hisoka is obviously being telegraphed to is.

Oh so we’re gonna watch this anyway. Considering that the episode’s almost over, it shouldn’t take any time at all.

FUCK YEAH MONSTER STRENGTH.

Hisoka knows what’s up.

Now break his wrists!

Or electroshock him, that works too.

:D Gon, you are awesome.

[slow clap]

Hisoka manages to be both awesome and creepy at the same time, and I don’t know how Keith Silverstein does it.

 

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN

As angsty as this might be, all this Uchiha backstory is very interesting.

Of course, at the age Sasuke was when the massacre happened, he’d have no reason to be let in on the coup plot.

War is hell, and it’s just as much of a cuss word too.

Man, the village sure was anti-Uchiha, weren’t they?

“Of course, he did not hate the Uchiha. He just hated their attitudes.”

The Third Hokage was a good man. He will be forever missed.

Sasuke’s in just as much denial as the rest of us who think this doesn’t make sense.

Clearly Itachi went in deep with his cover.

I get all that, but what were his last words?

“MADARA IS A LOSER” sounds like something out of a 4Kids dub.

Like I said, he went in deep.

Ah, so that’s why he dropped by the village then of all times.

And then, realization.

Itachi had a lover? Explain, show.

REPLY TO ANGEL 2: “Was his lover just a dozen anonymous dicks at once.” I doubt it was a gloryhole, but that sounds hilarious.

Must’ve been some illness, if it turned out to be fatal.

I’m confused, is his dog called “Dog”, or is he called “Doug”?

Whenever I see a TV set in Naruto, I’m always surprised. Not sure why, though.

Goddamn, young Sasuke’s voice is even worse than his normal voice.

Yeah, that sounds like me all right. Viewing homework as easy enough to finish later.

The clone jutsu’s a bitch, isn’t it?

“Ow, my face!”

And now for the last wor-goddammit, cockblocked by the mute button again.

Oh, nevermind then. I can see how surprising that sincere final moment must’ve been for him.

FILLING IN THE BLANKS: I assume while Sasuke was reflecting on all that, Madara told the rest of the Hebi where to find him.

Their new name is the Taka, short for Takahata101.

That’s one freaky-looking Sharingan evolution. Almost like flowers.

 

Whoever poured the syrup on those flapjacks needs 1000 swift kicks in the dick and a lesson on how to do that shit properly.

 

ONE PIECE

TOP BILLING: Usopp. I feel a panicked rant coming…

“So why!?” The why is that gravity is taking its damn sweet time.

If he had puked downward instead of upward, we wouldn’t even be in this mess.

You’d think they’d try to run after being caught up in the sun, but nooooooooo.

I’m gonna play the role of Mr. Satan and claim that these obscured disintegration effects are all a parlor trick. Why else would Robin’s left hand be hovering in midair when it’s already been burned off of the rest of her body?

Now those guys know how to hide.

“Aboard a certain pirate ship in the Grand Line” Not the subtitle font I was expecting… Also, does that Jolly Roger remind anyone else of Usopp?

Well good for those guys.

“Like that’s bloody likely.” Sorry, dude, “bloody” doesn’t work unless you have a British accent. Or Australian, that works too.

So there are pirate emperors too.

I assume that was the Marine swordsman, or some other unlucky one.

That guy looks ready to have a fiesta.

Just keep in mind that there are some shadows that won’t be going back to their owners. Because they’re long dead. :|

Oh, that must be the chick whose shadow went to Cindry. She’s definitely a cute one.

How romantic.

And things are finally right again.

Like I said, Usopp, it was all a parlor trick, smoke and mirrors and whatnot. Have you not seen the Cell Games?

PARTY TIME!

And just like the Cell Games, there’s a perfectly logical (if you’re not Foley) explanation for the supernatural B.S. behind the special effects excuse.

But to hell with calling shenanigans, they’re safe and that’s all that matters.

In the end, the true horror shows on Thriller Bark were Moria McGee and his Mysterious Three.

I had a feeling they’d wake up soon.

:D Right on the nose there, Hogback. [nose joke]

And then they decided to get real jobs.

Eh, I doubt Moria was any stronger than Lucci was.

Oh yeah, this is the first time Usopp’s seen that old man.

They were on the same island for who knows how many years, of course they’d know each other.

“What we have is yours for the taking.” But do we have to find it first?

SUCK IT ZORO.

Usopp finds this awfully predictable.

Oh yeah, Kuma’s still around.

Yes, that’s what she just said.

I wonder what’s hiding inside that huge-ass bible.

Man, fuck the World Government.

You say you’re all done for, but Zoro isn’t.

I miss Perona. Her laugh, not so much.

Brook is too scared to try and lighten the mood.

The gloves are coming off, that means shit’s ‘bout to get real.

That is some fitting and also intimidating music. I love it.

“Intimidated by me now?”

 

[good]

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And so this classic Hot Pockets commercial returned, and the Tumblr community collectively orgasmed at the DING.

 

There were a ton of ads for food and restaurants on this week's Toonami, so much so that it managed to do what I thought wouldn't happen until Food Wars were to join the block and made me crave a chicken sandwich. I don't know if it's normal and maybe I just now realized it or if it was a freak occurrence.

 

I'm telling you: Always get the Pierre Drive-Thru brand stuff. It actually tastes like something other than canner grade meat and has a very satisfactory plump feeling. I love it when the juice caresses down my throat.

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Having gone through a decent amount of trouble to come this far, Joseph Joestar is finally face to face with Santana Sanviento the Pillar Man. As steel-faced and uninterested as he may appear, this foe is a remarkable one, dangerous enough to scare even the German military who brought him back into the world. Will Joseph be able to find a way through Sanviento's strange abilities as a lifeform beyond human, and on top of that come out victorious? Smart money says no, but stranger things have happened.

 

In other happenings, the God of Destruction Beerus and his attendant Whis travel across the universe in search of the Super Saiyan God from the former's dreams, I have no idea what's going on in Kai because the Wikipedia descriptions are handled by literal monkeys, Side 4 finds themselves involved in the surprise confrontation between the Sleeves and Londo Bell, the Heaven's Arena arc nears its close as Gon and Hisoka finally have their fated match, Sasuke's new goal of destroying the Leaf Village is sidetracked by a request from Madara to capture the Eight-Tails Jinchuriki in the Land of Lightning, the Straw Hats have to deal with Tyrant Kuma and his Devil Fruit powers before they can properly celebrate defeating Moria, and Saitama faces off with the denominator of the universe himself, Lord Boros.

 

8:00 - Dragonball Super #3 - Where Does the Dream Pick Up? Find the Super Saiyan God! - TV-PGLS (!)

...

11:30 - Dragonball Super #3 - Where Does the Dream Pick Up? Find the Super Saiyan God! - TV-PGLS

12:00 - Dragonball Z Kai #101 - Videl's Crisis? Gohan's Urgent Call-Out! - TV-PGLV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #13 - JoJo vs. The Ultimate Lifeform - TV-MAV (broadcast and personal)

1:00 - Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn RE:0096 #3 - They Called It Gundam - TV-14V

1:30 - Hunter x Hunter #35 - The True Pass - TV-14V

2:00 - Naruto Shippuden #142 - Battle of Unraikyo - TV-14DLSV (!!)

2:30 - One Piece #376 - It Repels Everything! Kuma's Paw-Paw Power - TV-PGLV

3:00 - One Punch Man #11 - The Dominator of the Universe - TV-14LV

 

[ok]

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Ang: Point taken. I apologize for bringing up that movie and the stain on the memory of Hughes that its depiction of him is. I had blissfully forgotten about that part of the story.

 

Poke: The star on the shoulder being a hereditary birthmark of the Joestars makes me feel like George was a just a little more badass than I previously thought he was. It doesn't really add much to my appreciation of Jonathan, though.

 

What I can remember of the SEED universe gives me the impression that Coordinators were actively engaged in genetically engineering their offspring to make them smarter, stronger, faster and potentially have psychic powers as well (I'm not certain about the last part, though). Newtypes seem more like a natural mutation caused by the increased exposure to high-energy solar particles and cosmic rays, which should actually be detrimental to health rather than causing them to gain powers, but eh.

 

DBS - When we consider that, prior to his experiences on Earth and his subsequent stranding here by the wish to transport everyone except Frieza and Goku from Namek to Earth, Vegeta lived the lifestyle of mercenary, it's not surprising that Vegeta is uncomfortable in the midst of civilians engaged in pure entertainment. Even after years here, he still can't quite adjust to living in peace, and I feel like it eats at him that he's essentially a kept man. I think that's behind a lot of his gruffness toward Bulma and Trunks. When he was urged to do a dance-off against the fire-spinning performers, he knew he could give them a light show which would put the fire to shame, but it would also destroy a lot of property and endanger many lives, and he didn't want to cause Bulma that kind of trouble. Still, Vegeta keeping his word to Trunks about going on the vacation is positive in teaching Trunks the principle of honoring commitments.

 

It was funny when Trunks said they could travel faster if Bulma would learn to fly. I found her statement of her limitations both funny and perhaps lacking in accuracy. The human Z Fighters could fly, so it would theoretically be possible, but she likely wouldn't be able to match Trunks' and Vegeta's speed.

 

What I gathered from the Beerus part of the episode is that he's not only impatient, but he's also a bit absent-minded. Those are not good qualities in an entity which can destroy a planet with the ease that a human could flip a coin.

 

King Kai has a point. Goku's training is definitely reducing King Kai's property value.

 

DBZK - Oh, Gohan. You're a big goofball. The super-sentai outfit and the accompanying lines are every bit as chuckle-worthy in their head-shaking cheesiness as they were in DBZ. It should've been a sign to Gohan that it was too much when only Goten, the youngest child on the show (almost, but not quite seven years old) thought it was cool.

 

Videl sure is a martial arts action movie heroine, but when the bus went off the cliff, it was time for someone with real superpowers to intervene, and Gohan did so in a timely fashion.

 

Shame on you, SCPD. How could you, in good conscience, let an unarmed teenage girl take on multiple hostage-takers armed with automatic weapons? Sure, she was able to best them, but she did have some luck on her side in that she wasn't shot during her approach to the bus or while on the roof.

 

JoJo - I'm not sure I would want to motorcycle through the Mexican desert, but it did make it easier for Joseph to pick up on his tail. The guy saying he was part of the SS told me that Speedwagon is less likely to be offered as a human sacrifice in an arcane ritual (that horrible fate befell the captured Mexicans last episode when they were offered to the Pillar Man as food), but he's also more likely to be straight murdered if he proves unuseful. I still fear for Speedwagon's safety, even after Joseph arrived, but I digress. Joseph making his knife-wielding foe think he had tricked Joseph so Joseph could use hamon to make the cactus bomb was risky, but clever.

 

Drag!Joseph was a hideous woman, but not as ugly as the pervert Nazi guards.

 

I didn't expect Wind (I'm not going to call him the Spanish name von Stroheim gave him when he said what the English equivalent was. Plus, Wind will almost assuredly gain the partners of Earth and Fire) to have such drastic body contorting abilities, but if he is the/a creator of the Stone Masks, then his regenerative powers after mangling himself like that and consuming a person from the inside out aren't surprising. What was surprising was that he learned enough of the English language in minutes to ask a coherent question. I don't care to look to find out which is older between the JoJo manga and the Parasyte manga, but one of them copied the other with an inhuman monstrosity propelling rounds fired into its body back at those who fired them. Also, it almost looks like Wind has horns.

 

I was surprised by how effective Joesph's hair+hamon shield was. While Joseph's skills may be enough, with the help of Nazi's unintentionally running interference, to get him and Speedwagon away alive, I doubt he'll have what it takes at this point to kill Wind.

 

MSG: U - Okay, I'm interested to know what this Laplace Box is and what makes it so important. The intruder girl pleading with that one Colony bigwig did make it sound like she was fearful the L.B. would be used for violence if given to her compatriots, but the bigwig's meeting with said compatriots gave me the impression that they wanted to use/control the L.B. in order to keep it out of the hands of other factions in their group which are more militant and ambitious.

 

Blah, blah, the elites on Earth exploit the Colonies to live comfortably, yadda, yadda. Historically, that has been part of the motivation for a nation to establish colonies, in order to benefit from the resources the colony could access through the labors of the colonists. It's also an element at work in setting up part of the conflict in the SciFi show The Expanse.

 

I get that Audrey was trying to get Links to clear out of a conversation that was dangerous for him to hear, but she seemed mighty ungrateful for the aid he had already given her which she certainly needed to get to the bigwig first.

 

Yeah, that mansion looked a lot like the one we saw in fragmented flashback recollection by Links last episode.

 

I was pleased to see that Marida and her cohorts only incapacitated those guys in the colony near the elevator.

 

Sooo.. those blockier mechs that started surrounding the Colony were from Earth, then? Okay.

 

I think it warrants mentioning how astounding the technical and logistical feat that is a Colony is. Those things look to be measured in miles in any direction. While this one is still under construction, from where would they have gotten all the materials necessary to build it? Even using space elevators, it would take quite a long time to send that many millions of tons of material into orbit from the Earth's surface. If the source(s) of the metals was/were elsewhere, then that's similarly impressive in the massive amount of surveying required to find suitable mining sites on Luna or locate and bring in useful asteroids. Then those mined materials would need to be processed either near the mining site or at an orbital position near the proposed Colony location. Metals wouldn't be the only things needed from mining, either. They would need rock and minerals which could be mixed with organic materials from Earth to make the soil we know is in the Colony to grow plants. They'd need vast amounts of water ice, and they'd also need gases, mostly nitrogen and oxygen, to make an atmosphere. While, to my knowledge, the ISS makes no effort to produce their own food, it's still a substantial effort to keep that comparatively small station supplied. Supplying such a large station as a Colony from Earth resources would be mind-boggling. Just a single grocery store in a metropolitan area can take three or more 53' trailer shipments daily, and those simply travel over roads, not from the surface of Earth to a space station. While space elevators would make deliveries much easier than launches, I feel like a Colony would need to be largely self-sufficient once it was ready for habitation, like this one is.

 

Plus, I really like the songs for the OP and ED.

 

HxH - I liked Gon's unconventional thinking, using his fishing pole not to block Gido's attacks, instead blocking with Ten alone, nor to snag Gido directly, but rather to hook the ring and pull the flooring tile up from under Gido to throw him off his balance point. While Gon breaking Gido's single peg leg was a sound battle tactic, I feel like it was particularly vicious on Gon's part effectively (albeit temporarily) to maim Gido for a second time. While I doubt that the hook or line on the pole would be strong enough to withstand the forces involved in pulling up a ring floor tile, I'm willing to let it slide.

 

However, I'm less willing to let Killua slide regarding the electrified whips. While he may be able to withstand the pain of the electrical discharge, his muscles still operate on nerve impulses. The voltage from the whips would overpower the nerve signals from his brain and cause his muscles to involuntarily contract all over his body. It's why tasers work to incapacitate belligerents. Oh well. I was glad to see Killua turn the tables on this nozzle.

 

I like that Gon used the ring against his opponent again, but in a different way. He forced Riehlvelt to evade the thrown tile at-speed, which generated the opportunity for Gon to intercept him, take his whips, and scare him into passing out.

 

I'm more than a little scared for Gon that Hisoka now deems Gon worthy of fighting. Part of that concern stems from Hisoka's record. If he gets another loss, he'd need to restart from the first floor. While I feel like that wouldn't be a problem for him, since his skills would likely get him back to the 200th Floor in two weeks or less, depending on how often he was permitted to fight, he might not feel like going through that tedious hassle again, and that would put Gon's life in great danger. Even if Gon wins, things could still go badly for him not only in terms of injuries, but in danger to others. If Hisoka needed to restart, there would be the risk in such a situation that he could face Zushi at some point, which would be very bad for Zushi if Hisoka didn't deem him to have the same kind of potential as Gon.

 

The jerk trio wanting to be Floor Masters to parlay such status into wealth brought two things to mind for me. First, getting the ten wins before getting four losses would, if memory serves, only earn them the opportunity to challenge a Floor Master, and if they got most of their wins by preying on newcomers, then their skills may not be up to the task. Second, they seem to me like those who would sell a License for wealth, risking a lot for one big payout to set them for life.

 

Also, I wonder what Kurapika and Leorio are doing. Don't get me wrong; the exposition on nen and the fights are interesting, but I'd like a status update on the others, show.

 

Shippuden - Okay. Itachi was really a longsuffering good guy all along. He was implanted as spy for Uchihas, but was double-agent for Konoha instead, because he had suffered through the horrors of the Third Great Shinobi War as young child. Thus, he wanted to protect Konoha so opportunistic rivals wouldn't start the Fourth Great Shinobi War against a Konoha weakened by internal strife. That way, he could spare young Sauce the hardship of living through the same horrors. Since protecting Sauce was his driving motivation, of course he couldn't bring himself to kill Sauce. He loved his little brother more than peace for Konoha. I'm not sure I buy all of that, but it makes more sense than Itachi only wanting to test his strength and abilities.

 

Sauce reminiscing and mourning the brother Itachi was before the mass-murder was okay.

 

I wonder whether Tobi really helped in the ethnic cleansing.

 

So, Sauce's group isn't the Snake anymore. I'm guessing the new name means Hawk, since we saw one flying in the sky. Oh, hey, there's a new pattern in Sauce's eyes now. I'm not sure how to take Sauce's new proclaimed mission of vengeance on Konoha. Is he doing it because Konoha's leadership, minus Hiruzen, ordered Itachi to kill his clan? Is it to spite the dead Itachi by destroying the Village he regarded more highly than his own clan and immediate family? Whatever the case is, I feel like he's playing right into Tobi's hands in moving to weaken Konoha, which would make them not only easier to conquer, but it would make their Jinchuriki, Naruto, more vulnerable to capture.

 

OP - No, Sanji. No. Shadow Revolution stretching and reshaping Oars without mangling him was livestock excrement. Using that to explain why your partially-combusted bodies (as in there were entirely missing body parts, like HEADS) are now whole is even more livestock excrement. Just no. No. I'd accept that maybe the Shadows were back inside them before the combustion got deeper than the epidermis of the exposed parts (though that would also mean they would've burnt off the hair on the exposed portions of their bodies, and that would leave them not only bald, but without eyebrows as well, and while Luffy and Zoro likely wouldn't care that much, Robin might be bummed about losing her hair and Sanji would look plain weird without his distinctive eyebrows), and since I think those would be classified as first-degree burns, they'd only have tender skin, and little, if any, treatment would be needed. I'd even be willing to accept that we didn't see just how much of them was actually burnt due to the smoke, meaning their heads weren't combusted, but rather they had the surface burning I mentioned above. However, that's not what the dialogue indicated. Now the show is imbuing Shadows with the ability to instantaneously regenerate entirely combusted, and thus absent, flesh. Just by the choice of dialogue they made this Shadow shenanigans flip off logic and sense one last time, because why not?! I figuratively urinate on Moria, the concept of a Shadow's various abilities, and the heaps of livestock excrement that were most of his applications of his Devil Fruit power. If he and/or his powers never disgrace my viewing screen again, I'd consider that a welcome turn of events.

 

As for the various people who regained their Shadows in far-flung areas, that did address my logistical concern about Moria maintaining his zombie army, though pirate crews at sea which can't operate on the deck in the daylight would be easy pickings for Marines or rival pirate crews, meaning Moria would, due to the deaths of his victims, have a regular need to trap more crews and take their Shadows.

 

I didn't expect we'd get to see the person whose Shadow was animating Cindry, but she was super-cute. I also didn't expect that Hogback was still alive, and I'm slightly disappointed by that. I really didn't expect that Absalom wasn't a zombie, but rather a surgical chimera, with a Devil Fruit power.

 

I forgot to mention it, but I did spot Pandaman among actual Lola's crew last episode.

 

Ha, ha. The joke's on actual Lola's crew and Nami, because Perona already had her zombie subordinates load as much treasure and provisions onto the Sunny as they could carry before Kuma arrived.

 

Kuma getting ready to throw down while Luffy is still unconscious can't be good. He essentially fired a chi blast from his hand toward some of actual Lola's crew, and Zoro (along with everyone else) hasn't recovered yet either.

 

OPM - The meteor Tatsumaki brought and the speed with which she brought it (presuming it was farther than the moon at the time she snagged it) would combine for more devastation than what we saw there, but eh.

 

Chill, Tatsumaki. Genos was just trying to help. There's no need to snap at him like that.

 

Knowing from manga material beyond the show what the name of one of Bang's relatives is, I have a suspicion about another character, but I'll need to wait for either the second OPM anime or for future manga volumes to give me confirmation or refutation.

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I have no idea what's going on in Kai because the Wikipedia descriptions are handled by literal monkeys

 

You wouldn't have that problem if Xfinity/other provider's cable guide gave us the synopses. DBS, DBZ Kai, JoJo's, and Gundam Unicorn's are all missing, and JoJo's actually had them for the first ten episodes, which makes the sudden loss all the more confusing. Maybe this explains why the ratings are a bit lower than usual.

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