Skiles

Zeni.

I'll bet that actually does happen to everyone who does Joe Rogan's show.

But fuck that guy. I wish him ill will both professionally and personally.

Those plebs don't deserve to see the glorious wonder that is my astonishingly average penis.

I'm cool with being murdered with porn, as long as it's the kinky fun stuff. Like watersports, or pegging. Or both?

Honestly, I have a difficult time saying that any food is invalid, because I'm the world's smallest 500-pound man. However, I will say that if any of you try to permaban green bean casserole, I swear to God, we're gonna do battle. It'll be fisticuffs. Green bean casserole is fucking AWESOME.

Shit, I look more like Egon than Venkman any day.

I mean, ja feel. I personally don't wanna be loved. Sounds like a lot of pressure.

ESPECIALLY a dude spirit. Gimme that sweet ghost cock.

Mmmm, nope, it was Jesus. All those lazy-ass farmers did was reap the rewards. The Lord did all the work.

"Seeking?" So people actually try to talk to other humans? That's weird. You're weird.

Y'all are lucky I don't have access to my team right now. I'm probably gonna get bopped the next few weeks because I can't change shit.

I wouldn't mind being fondled in the night by a horny spirit.

Tired. Just... Just tired.

Right? Meanwhile, how many awesome things has my brain just aced from my hard drive? And shit like that is still in there?

I have recited this at so many AA meetings that I've legitimately heard it perfectly in my dreams.

"Thank you for the food, thank you for the day, yum, yum, eat away." And I gotta be honest, I'm pretty pissed off that my brain still reserves space for that stupid fucking prayer. 😐

I'm a switch hitter.

I have been told I'm okay at sex, and I'm a skinny guy. As far as my experience with guys goes, I've always done the fucking.

Just jokes, my dude. I'm not actually roasting your lives for real. I'm couch surfing right now. I'd be in no position to do so. 😛

I gotta keep it tight. There's this girl at my job thatthat's been kinda flirty lately. You never know.

Um, yeah, I like to enjoy the finer things in life.

I didn't ask about your life because naturally, I assume that you all MUST have your lives together, considering you spend so much of it here.

I've used yarn before. Being homeless is fun.

That's never stopped me from sharing things about my life before, and it never will.