Skiles

And I'm out of cigarettes. Let's go kill people.

Dude, he learned an entire language just to impress a girl he liked.

It's almost every other time I click to the home page that I get "page wouldn't load" or "Error 524 or some shit, the server is down." I'm a millennial, I shouldn't have to wait for things. Fix it.

Yeah, but you also hate spaghetti, so your opinion on food is invalid.

In LGBT parlance, I'm technically an otter. Do I get some respect?

Whatever. You guys are probably the same kind of people who think regular restaurant food is better than fast food. Buncha creeps!

ily bby <3

DUDE NO IT'S NOT SHUT UP D:

Spaghetti is the correct answer.

Just tell them your car is snowed in anyway. Commit to it. Say it's buried up to the windows and you can't get it dug out. If they're like, "But it snowed less than an inch..." Just say something like, "That's not what I'm looking at here." Really dig your feet in and commit.

nah

Draw me like one of your French girls.

I couldn't even begin to list them in a straight up, top-to-bottom order. But in the realm of what we're speaking of, the top ten consists of: -Spyro 1 - Favorite video game of all time. Beaten it hundreds of times. Literally. This game is meditation for me. -Michael Bolton - All of it. Screw picking a song. IT'S ALL GREAT. FIGHT ME. -Hook - That movie, oddly enough, really shaped who I am as a man today. -Pokemon Yellow - Shit, man, I still play it all the time. Just as I have for 20 years. -Big Brother - Hatters gonna hat. This show is the shit. I've watched all 18 American seasons, every Canadian season, most of the UK seasons, and one season in Australia. -Dragonball Z - This show was to me and my friends growing up what Walking Dead and Game of Thrones is to grown-ups now. -Case Closed - I've seen all 130-ish dubbed episodes multiple times. It sparked my interest in true crime, Sherlock Holmes, and whodunnit murder mystery shit. -InuYasha - My relationship with this show has been love/hate, on-again/off-again, whatever you wanna call it. But it's been 16 years, and I still haven't completed the series. And the fucking RPG game haunted me for a decade as well. Fuck this God damn series, I love it so much. -Wrestling - I've watched and obsessed over it since I was a little kid. Now I'm a genuine, bonafide smart mark and I don't give a damn who knows. -The Lion King - It's my favorite movie ever. Hook is close, and Goodfellas is close, but The Lion King will always hold that special place in my heart.

lol I like it when animals fart in their sleep and it startles them awake.

Thinking you look cute some days is perfectly healthy. You know who has really, really high self-esteem? Psychopaths.

I hope my friends know I'm a good person. Beyond that, I'm just here to make dumb jokes and occasionally be a troll because it's fun.

I don't play for profit. I do play for booze sometimes though. Either way, the proceeds go to my friends. lol

I play all the time at karaoke. It's fun, and I've actually gotten pretty good at it. Especially against drunks.

I don't really care for most of them, but this one is amazing. I think the delivery of it is what really makes it great.

I wish.

Good people die every year. It only seems like more beloved celebrities died this year because we're older now, and the people we've looked up to for the 20-30 years we've been alive are getting older and older. Shit happens. Old age happens, cancer happens, heart attacks happen, that's life. It's not weird, it's nature. And just because someone is in a movie or two that we really like, or made a handful of iconic songs, doesn't mean they're immune to nature.

Me too, dude. I love the 30 For 30 series, and Ric Flair's story is really fascinating anyway. It'll be fantastic.

There's a hacky standup joke in there somewhere, about 2017 killing all the bad people to make up for last year. I'm not gonna write it though.

FB started it.