Skiles

I would say Hook is pretty underrated. People knock that flick, but I think it's objectively a very good movie. For me, it really shaped my outlook on life, and it's one of my top 2 or 3 favorite movies.

I was convinced for a long time that I was going to be a professional basketball player. I actually got really good. Then around 12, I saw Mitch Hedberg's half-hour on Comedy Central, and I decided I was going to be a comedian. That lasted until I was 24.

You trigger my erectile dysfunction!

Stop it or I might relapse. D:

I'm gonna report it because it triggers me.

WHERE IS SOPHIE?

Yeah, they're great!

You're right, they stink.

And when you or another one of your friends disagrees even a little bit, they immediately backtrack and agree? eg: Friend: "I don't think the Steelers are that good of a football team." You: "Really? I actually think they have a shot to win it all this year." Friend: "Oh yeah, they're definitely a very good team, for sure." That's really annoying to me. Just have an opinion and stick to it. Don't change it just to fit in. We know what you're doing, and we are not impressed.

Now you just need something to protect you from how bad the movie is.

Someday you're gonna get stabbed, and I'm not gonna feel sorry for you.

It was probably Dave. Dave's a real fuck.

SHIT

on god tho

Let me go get this career real quick. 401k and portfolios and shit, homie.

Huh? Where am I?

Never forget.

A little jazz piano, for your ass.

Yeah, but we didn't elect Bernie. So that ship has sailed, in more ways than one.

Answer my question.

Well shit, there you go, dude! Go get laid and meet your soulmate! But again, just make sure your pic is really you. Don't be goin' around catfishin' fools.

There's a type for everybody in this community. As long as your profile picture on Grindr is an honest representation of you, you're bound to at LEAST get laid. Maybe you'll even find a guy on there who digs you for you. Although I don't necessarily think of Grindr as a place where real human connections are made, beyond the physical aspect. But hey... You'll get laid.

By reminding so many people that the Golden Globes were happening.

You never answered my question, so I'm not answering yours, hooker.

Hooray for bringing back less convenient methods of playing music!