Skiles

are you suggesting we have sex with the television

That's just the drugs.

My grandfather was a lemon face, and he was the greatest man I ever knew!

I think the last time I actually wept was when my mom died in May of last year. Before that, probably the day before I got sober. Crying is a great thing. It's cathartic.

I dunno.

Well, no, but also shut up. :blank:

ok

He must have assumed you wanted to be extra clean for... reasons.

I feel responsible for this. I mean, I didn't take part in any way, but I still think I should get some credit.

Bro, one of my relatives drove through Oklahoma once. #triggered

Gay for pay is a different story, brah. We all got bills to pay.

Now you apologize for being so gay.

My move is to put myself there before the other person can. If anyone is gonna break my heart, it'll be me, dammit!

I would ask what the occasion is, but I think I can take a pretty educated guess.

So it's a sorority you plan on gunning down, eh? Mighty bold of you to come out with it beforehand. :-X

Ahh, an inflated ego. Another telltale sign of a spree killer.

Hey, take that shit elsewhere, you son of a bitch!

Does anybody here actually like Monopoly?

So you were the weird kid that sat in the back and stared at the cheerleaders, and when they would happen to glance at you, they wouldn't express how creeped out they were because they kinda felt bad that you were so weird and sad, but in your mind you took the non-disgust as reciprocation of your feelings. I know where this is going. I've seen true crime documentaries.

Unlike some people.

He's gonna find out who's naughty or bad.

The cringe is strong.

Did you get nervous? I know a lot of people do. Usually I try to just joke around with the officer and put the both of us at ease. It's never gotten me out of a ticket, but it makes the whole thing less stressful.

That's not what I said at all, dammit! I just said that Mexicans do. I never said other people don't. Also, there's only one race, and that's the human race. So NOW who's the hate tank, heh? Yeah, it's you! You've been hoisted on your own petard!

That's a relief. I thought maybe you had the gout. Spoiler alert: I don't even know what gout is.