scoobdog

Well, that's good.

Yeah but did you close the deal afterward?

Allright allright. The anti-freeze motif is an improvement.

My dog just died. You mother fucker.

It's her new thing. Kind of a cross between idiotic rhetorical musings and bad beat poetry.

Lolwut? I'm not like Buddy. I expect results.

Stray cars don't pick up their own messes. They just drive over the roadkill until it kind of blends in with the asphalt.

I think a stray car would just try to run over him.

Wut???

Lolwut?

Thank God your arms are long enough that you can at least reach far enough around your belly to take a pic.

Bigger ain't better? Lol

They gonna crack your ribs when the EMT has to give you chest pumps anyway.

But she really is.

Nah, the point is to not die an early death from heart disease.

Lol. She don't even know what triggered actually looks like.

Eh, I know. Unfortunately, I let a couple of my kitties stay out nights when they wanted to and they still got hit by cars. Now, I stay up until they get their asses back in the house, whether they want to or not. They probably hate me for it too, so it's questionable whether or not it's worth it other than to appease my insecurities.

Fuck that. I cracked ribs falling of my bike and I still got back on.

Bullshit.

When was the last time you were on a bike?

Wut?

No, you aren't.

You tell 'em gurl.

No... I think that's closer to average college ball. Top level college and pro athletes are higher than that. The problem with BMI, of course, is that it doesn't differentiate between fat and muscle, so just meeting those numbers doesn't indicate how good an athlete actually is.