scoobdog

Worst Humblebrag thread of the day.

Silly me. Of course you would use the alias - wouldn't want to trigger the sex offender registry laws.

Which name though?

Congrats!

I'm sure there are plenty of people here that are getting some kind of bank. People that fetishize success, however, are angling from the reaction, both positive and negative, from their purported conquests. Success and "humble bragging" are mutually exclusive - there is no need to humble brag if the success itself should reward the conditioned response. That's why a guy like Packard will go to such extremes to brag about things that are obvious exaggeration and, at that, would not warrant pride in their pedestrian nature.

You weren't having sex hard enough.

Fuggs, stop doubling down on stupid.

Actually, that's pretty standard for a maintenance workout.

Oatmeal sounds good.

One more...

I'm not bothered by spiders, but this is creeping me out.

I don't really have a waifu I can fantasy fuck by bumping auras, but I'm working on it.

I'm coining it now.... Platonic Waifu / Husband

.... Weebs

That's what you think....

As the days went by, though, the the gardener was not as attentive to his duties as he was at the start. Sometimes on Saturday, he was a little too hungover after a Friday night out with his friends. Sometimes he worked late. The neighbor knew all this, of course, because her brother-in-law's, best friend's father was a PI and comparatively cheap. Sometimes she would see him in the yard watering and tell him "Hey, I haven't seen you in a few days. I thought maybe something happened to you." And he smiled sheepishly, knowing he had not been diligent at watering his trees.

Thanks for the update, @tsar4.

You're not the only one. The propensity of turning everything into a breaking news cycle has created this kind of non stop meaningless jabber.

He'd go out every morning and water the trees. They looked so happy he thought. He imagined the bright red apples on their branches. His mouth watered in anticipation. Then he touched himself. The old woman across the street always seemed to have this half smile as she watched his morning ritual. In their own way, each lusted for that fruit....