molarbear

The other day I was working on a paper and had a very questionable fart Admittedly, instead of immediately rushing to the bathroom I just shifted onto one side and continued typing. Praying to any deity that would listen to not let the next sensation I felt be a warm, fluid one. All was safe in the end, but damn.... I was worried that as an adult, I was going to have to reset the "zero accidents since" sign again.

checks and balances only works when people actually use them If he gets the House and Senate, he is unchecked. Three people have stood up to him in his own party, McCain, Cheney, and Kinzinger. All of whom have been ostracized by the GOP since. Odds of that happening are slim to none this time. They're all dropping their pants and getting in the elephant line hoping they're not at the end, because MTG is always second to last in the line

I absolutely hate this timeline

......So This is why GOP leaders are blocking Pornhub in their States It all makes sense now. If their constitutes can't beat their meat or flick their bean in anger at the devil's movies, they knew all that rage would redirected at the government euthanizing a squirrel (that was not vaccinated for rabies) for biting someone

I thought that was the Mets? This one is better, lol

I'm not sure how many people I'm allowed to bring, a trip to Utah for some fake marriages may have to happen as well; Due my heritage, I can move to a mountain town in Italy for free. The only requirements are you must all live at least 6 house away from me. You may have balconies and porches that face my front garden so you can all admire the creatures that eat the shit out of it, but do not have any views of my backyard. I will be doing Karate back there 12/6, like a boss. If you look, One of you will get horny and start a war. it's guaranteed to happen (looking at you @Raptorpat)

Replace "Deshaun Watson" with "WTF Yankees!?!?!?!?!?!" and that doesn't even begin to explain the 5th inning

Yeah... I know what party is currently running it though, and they seem to think everything is absolutely peachy. No matter how many times Drummond's had tried to investigate that shit, they seem to never give a clear answer. I had to look that shit up, lol. I have windstream, it's absolute hell on earth. Somehow they've managed to not roll out any fiber to this portion of the city, so I'm literally stuck with DSL or COX as my only option, and Cox has a data cap. On a good day my download is 30, and my upload gets near 1. Not gigs... megabytes. Then I see people on reddit over in McAlester bragging about having fiber that gets 14 gigs down. If you get a chance, check out Dennis Baker though. He's running for the House seat. He wants to use Grants from the Federal Transit thing to build a high speed rail between T-town and OKC.

I'm not gonna lie The voting process is actually pretty smooth here, so I'm willing to sacrifice the sticker

Yeah What kind of explosive shits do you have that your clothes are able to contain them? Are you eating the same diet as a rabbit? Do you just shit out little pellet turds, mix?

Nope. No stickers. I asked the lady that notarized it about them and she didn't have any either. @scoobdog I did not see that you asked the same question https://oklahoma.gov/occ.html They're supposed to monitor all The State's utility companies and keep them in check

Only downside.... You don't get a cool sticker to place upon your bewbs... *For the record, the blue smear was not intentional It's my favorite color so I usually start with it, before switching to pink after realizing blue was often associated with politics. It was in no way intended to reveal who I voted for. It does not bother me if people know, but; as is, you have to really zoom in try to figure it out so... kudos if you go that far and get butt hurt

Untrue We were given this golden nugget by Big Papi https://www.cnn.com/2024/07/30/us/christopher-dunn-released-missouri-prison/index.html

Have you, have you tried pooping?

...You enjoyed getting pooped on?

I learned to just tell people I get uncontrollable, explosive shits if I get tickled The amount of people that have attempted to tickle me since I implemented this policy is zero

I meant in that moment, I could clearly see how that call was missed It was the in the following moments when Darnold's head was rolling around like he had just found himself in sleepy hollow that confused me I do not believe penalties are reviewable though. That may have changed in recent years, I remember them discussing something about it. This is where the lines between NFL and College rules start to blur for me.

If I can play devil's advocate here for just a moment gonna break this play down molarbear style From this angle right here, that hand could easily be grabbing Darnold's left arm, was it? No, but this official most likely saw the defender coming up, saw his hands going up, and then his eyes went straight to watching the ball to see what unfolds there. Looking for any forward motion etc, in the event that ball pops out. How he was not able to notice Darnold involuntarily pulling an exorcist (sans the pea soup vomit) after the fact, does absolutely astound me.

Do most the old athletes sell used cars and have beer guts now? The popular girls ended up married to them at my school. Then in some bizarre, massive love triangle, they've all gotten divorced and remarried within the group. Some multiple times. It's almost like a little cult. It's starting to make sense why Sedric bolted for Colorado as soon as we graduated, and Cody went to some unheard of college in California. They were always the smarter ones.

This is the void She's not mine, but she frequently hangs out on the porch and likes to nap on things One day a race of beings from a completely different galaxy with weapons that make ours look like stone age tools appeared. Unfortunately for them, their intelligence dept sucked and they misjudged everything on our planets size; Discovering shortly after entering our atmosphere that they were beings the size rhino beetles, and their ships had the misfortune of being sphere shaped and about the same size as tennis balls. She batted their leader's ship and everything inside turned into goo. Upon seeing this havoc, the beings quickly ran back into the wormhole they had come from.

We should all have a digital reunion with ourselves Except everyone just sends photos of their animals and a short story of how they saved the galaxy

So that thing is around the corner again and uh... I made the mistake of signing into FB last night and getting updated on all that. Aside from what seemed like at least 100 posts about people dying, it looks like the people who are supposed to organize it gave up after the last one. To catch you all up on the 10 year fiasco They wanted to charge something like $300 a person and basically a large group of people said "we don't want to see each other that bad." Then another person we graduated with was like "I own an upscale bar, I'll host a party for free!" and I think everyone ended up going to that one instead Anyway, aside from the unfortunately high number of posts about people passing; the only other post is this lady who never lost that "stay at home mom" facebook energy from back in the early 2010's (you know the ones that spammed farmville and shit?) It is all just like "20 year reunion is coming up and I look like I should still be in detention, lol!" TL:DR It's been almost 20 years since I have seen a large chunk of the people I graduated with, and I think I want to keep it that way

Darnold's stats may not be record shattering up in Minnesota, but the dude looks way more relaxed in this pre game than he ever did in NY

Apparently my fantasy team missed their flights this week >.>

Unexpected, and I legit was in stitches