Vamped

As a parent to a 4 year old .... I just want to poop by myself

I hate looking at their bodies after they pass. I feel like its intrusive... almost like going through someone's underwear or something. Even when my family members pass and want open casket funerals. I cant look at them

Maybe you didnt feel it because it was a phone call. It would probably have been harder to be stoic if she was sitting at your desk crying

He wants you to hurry and make an honest woman out of her and then pump her full of grandbabies ... Every now and then Ill see a baby and Ill be like ... I want another one ... but maaan potty training alone ... shit is for the birds. Do not recommend

You should've said "AS SOON AS I FIND THE RIGHT MAN"

I already feel awkward when they're alive and just barely conscious ... like .... what do I do?! What do I say? If someone dies ... I feel like I'll be even more awkward ... like their spirit is there looking at me sitting in their armchair holding their baby doll

I've got some bereavement counseling practice coming up at my internship. I'm praying I can hold my shit together.

If its a regular house spider, I swipe at it to give it a chance to get out of my sight everything else can get the sole of my shoe. These fucking gnats in the office though, If I could have a blow torch I would torch the fuck out of them.

I don't like to cry but I cry more frequently than I like to admit like almost every time I see a St. Jude commercial, read an article about St. Jude, see the St. Jude passenger van at the store I could cry because somebody else is crying.

Are you planning to summon a really old person from the dead?

Woah .... woah ... woah. FedEx Im interning for a hospice

Just keep swimming

Awww! Atleast you know they were thinking about you. I always feel guilty about calling in sick and I dont know why. I feel better going in and then leaving early almost like I have to prove to them that Im actually sick.

Seven times in a row?!

My internship only pays in experience and I have a nagging feeling that one of these patients is going to die on me and I'll have to stay with the body until one of the nurses comes ..... CANT WAIT

Sometimes you just gotta stand there and enjoy it.

Need a dumb slogan like the Birds Arent Real people XD

This is the last weekend before I start my intership in addition to my full time job

I dont like people in my mouth. I think my mom took us to the dentist maybe twice when we were little and I've been paying for dental benefits but not using them. I take the miniature to his pediatric dentist regularly though so atleast hes using the benefits. >.> but I think my wisedom teeth are coming in so ... might have to go T T

Cute lipstick!♥️

Happy Birthday!

Needs steamy romance somewhere in there

Quizlet can be your friend. I used to use it alot on those generic straight from the book quizzes