EmpressAngel

Who asked for this? Like, the two sequels we already got weren't horrible, but I honestly don't think I've seen a single person who's ride or die, hardcore into them the way people still are towards the original even after 20 years. It felt like they were milking that cow pretty dry already, and adding on another two whole extra sequel series just feels completely unnecessary. Housing Complex sounds like it has some promise, though. Here's hoping they can actually pull it off and roll out more original ideas.

Don't worry there's plenty of porn detailing that exact concept. Shenmue- It's gonna be real hard to top the sheer joy I got from the forklift content but we'll see how it goes. Hi there, Discount Nami. This kid doesn't have a soccer ball you can't trust him. MY BAG. Never trust a child. Go stay with Discount Nami. Hey look, our next sidequest has arrived. Hi there, unnecessarily angry old lady. I bet that guy's dead. Hi, other hot lady. Meeting denied. Is your wish something that can be resolved by punching? Is this friendly old guy the master? Objective unlocked: Punch tree 100 times. I could go for some instant noodles. Thanks douche that's helpful. Discount Nami to the rescue. She's into you, dumbass. I like her. Oh right, the weird girl who speaks in cryptic riddles. Now go get your sack of useless crap back from the orphan. I like that guy who's just carrying around a boombox while trying to fight. Fuck you, tree! Awooda? You've unlocked a new location. Does this lady ever uncross her arms? Surprise, it's the hot lady. Who's this asshole? Titan- Goddammit Eren! Once again, fuck you Zeke. Time to destroy everyone's balls. Those hands were just holding you back. Oh right, Historia's life is all fucked up too. Well that's an ominous book. I don't like where this is going. I'd like to get off this ride please. Quick, hide in the treegina! That sure is a thing that happened. Congratulations, "I shall reward you with my seed" is the absolute worst sentence I've ever heard! And then she died. Oh hey, the walls are named after them. Okay so did he actually have any idea they'd get her powers if they ate her or was that just some kinda batshit hunch he had? EVERYONE'S YELLING. The surprising twist to getting her on your side is just treating her like a normal goddamn person, who'd have thought. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is this? Aw shit here we go. Remember that this is all Gabi's fault. Eren what the FUCK. Oh okay then I guess we're just going with the straight up genocide plan then. Ass Class- Math is a truly terrifying beast. I love my kids. I have no idea what you're saying, boys. Meanwhle Karma learns a valuable lesson bout teamwork. i'm proud of all of you, kids. Now you just have to kill the unkillable squid and you're good. The important thing is, your douchebag principal ate shit on this test. SLAP. It's gonna hurt me so bad when they eventually have to kill him. Oh you sack of shit. So does this douchewad just want the entire world to be destroyed? I love that squid. Oh I'm gonna enjoy watching this assclown fail yet again. What is this excessively elaborate horse shit? Just kill him. I want to see this dickwad suffer. He even fired the chestnut, that bastard! HOORAY FOR UNEMPLOYMENT! Abyss- Wow, what a hole. Good luck kids, I love you. Meanwhile, I'm glad the other kids are doing okay. Aww look at the adorable puffballs. Oh, everything else is terrifying. Nooo the adorable puffballs! That ship is definitely haunted. Aw shit that's some kinda monster nest. CHEESE IT. RIP boat. Ohhhh that sounds like a bad thing. Oh no it's that fucker again. Throw the puffballs at it! Man I hope that tunnel leads someplace safe. Riko for the love of god just stay there. Riko no what did I just say! I'm guessing she moved all of twelve feet. Food! Great job, now you're being digested. Ewwww. They're so cute I want 400 of them. RIKO GODDAMMIT JUST STAY THERE. And then she got hit with the curse again. And now she's hallucinating. That's not your mom THAT'S NOT YOUR MOM! Congratulations! Aw fuck that thing's still attacking. WHIP OUT THE SCYTHE! I love my good robot son. Surely it's all smooth sailing from here. One Piece- AGAIN, WHY DO WE LET CARIBOU EXIST. Tonight's theme is apparently me being viscerally disgusted. Present time, shit is hitting the fan. I goddamn love that whale. Luffy, just casully insulting the king. I love Brook. Oh, did you find Zoro? He's already drunk, it's definitely Zoro. Awww, Tom. Robin's archaeology senses are tingling. Magic tree, got it. Here, have this cactus. Oh hey that's nifty. Ooh it's fancy. King Neptune is grounded. Someone feed this boy. Goddammit Luffy! The hell? Oh yeah this is all going just great. Lotta axes jammed in that door. You're on a giant pair of titties. Awwww, she's adorable. Luffy, immediately insulting their princess. Oh look, it's this asshole again. Ohhhh, he's a fucking creep. It's okay sweetie he just wants your food. Let me axe you a question. That sure are a lot of guards all of a sudden. I mean, Sanji's a pretty solid suspect for mermaid kidnapping. My shark! Yep, that sounds like Zoro. She's so cute! I love Megalo. Oh, he's goddamn terrible. Give Luffy food and he'll protect you with his life. Well that's depressing. SHE'S SO CUTE I LOVE HER. Don't yell at her. Luffy you can't say that! He's breaking you out, sweetie! Wow, these guards suck. Fuck 'em up, guys! Oh hey Zoro. Meanwhile, what the fuck are you people doing. I hate all of you.

There's really no good way to handle Alvida that's not gonna get crucified by half the reviews. Her entire plot is being an incompetent fat lady who gets punched in the face so hard she goes flying across the ocean and returns as a competent thin lady. Adapt that faithfully and the non-anime watchers are going to have issues with the main character hitting a woman as a gag and the fat/thin depiction; adapt it for casual viewers and the anime fans are going to lose their shit about their cartoon being changed to appease the general audience and probably throw in some slurs because clickbait anime bros are goddamn horrible. They really should have just cut Alvida entirely, rearranged Coby to be on Buggy's crew, and blamed it on having to streamline the adaptation instead of not wanting to deal with nerds complaining about her character.

Live action Garp can get it.

I can and have simped for worse within the last week. You do you, buddy. Shenmue- Are we sure there's no more forkift content? Look at this failure pissing on himself. I like this girl. Be more like this girl, Nozomi. Oh hey, forklift guy. YES MORE FORKLIFT CONTENT. Sorry girl you're not forkllift certified. I'm genuinely delighted by this turn of events. Oh yeah I'm sure they're really dead. Surprise they're not really dead. You dumb gangster bastards they've still got a forklift. 70 vs 2 seems like a fair fight. Mai is my favorite character. PIPE. Time to find yourself a rich sugar daddy, Ryo. Please slap that guy every time he screams BRO at the screen. Screw her already. No, it really was her fault for walking straight into the mobsters. At least take some pity on her and let her blow you. WHAT. Boy howdy did he score out of his league. Meanwhile Nozomi doesn't get dicked, absolutely tragic. MY LEG. Not this fucker again! And these dudes were never seen again. Titan- SOMEONE LEFT A BABY. Your dad sucked, boys. Eren's having a bit of a rough day. Nobody fucking likes you, Zeke. Weird memory shit. Why not destroy everyone's balls, Eren? The running theme of this season is that Zeke continues to fucking suck. And then we spent years trying to get into that goddamn basement. Oh hey, is that Historia's family? Everyone sucks in this episode. FUUUUTUUURE. Well, this could be going better. Uhhh Eren whatcha doing? And then everyone died. No one's having a good time here. Zeke's having a rough day. Ass Class- Diiiiiiiiiiick. He's going to turn all your lackeys against you. This is not gonna end well. Piece of shit asshole. I goddamn love Karma. Koro-sensei is best teacher. Oh no the douche is here. What the fuck. Oh no, we can literally murder him for you if that's what you want. Neat, everybody's goals line up nicely together. Karma is the best. May he offer you an egg in this trying time? Good luck kids, do your best. ENGLISH HAMMER. Those monsters are cracking me up. Oh hey, the fake girl. I'm pretty sure the brute force technique is how I passed the science part of my ACT back in the day. Partial credit is indeed a godsend. Karma's so cool. Abyss- Time for some happy fun training with the adorable children. Oooh it's pretty, go swimming in it. Ohhh that seems ominous. ABYSS HIPPO. Oh fuck you summoned the mosquitos. I love my kids. Your plan is shit, literally. They were definitely lesbians before she found a boyfriend. Lyza needs a hug. Surprise, it's a corpse baby! Sweet, hippo meat. They made it, I'm proud of them. Riko: dead. Riko: FOOD. Time is an illusion, kiddos. Hug! Hug denied. Oh I already don't trust Bondrewd. Joke denied. We got a fresh mystery on our hands, folks. Sweet, magic pickaxe. Tell us the secrets, goddammit! Marulk is so cute. Lyza's so fucking cool. She's so pretty. One Piece- Last time, Sanji fucking died. Oh fuck DON'T OPEN THAT BARREL. The one with the crowbar is my girlfriend. Goddammit Sanji control your goddamn dick. Boy howdy did this scene not age well. Sorry Luffy you've got covid. Oh sweet, poison immunity. Well, there was that time he got bukake'd in poison sludge. Save those mermaids! Again, why do we let Caribou exist. GIANT SHARK WAIFU. I love you, big titty fortune teller shark wife. No meat for you. I goddamn love Brook. Starfish friend! "Lots of bones to go around!" fucking killed me. Maybe next time we should just let Sanji die. I am unreasonably pleased with that fish taxi's hat. Oh, he's a fucking creep. "That doesn't make sense" has never stopped this show before. Sweet, mermaid genetic lesson. Big Mom? I bet we never hear from her again. Aw shit, now there's a whole damn prophecy to deal with. Well this looks like a bad time. I'm calling that one guy Douchebag Zoidberg. Oh this guy looks like a real asshole. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Man this starfish is doing well for himself. God I love Nami. Oh fuck how do I get that deal. Oh hey, the king. I like his giant whale. Whaaaaaale. Oh hey it's the shark. Oh good he's a nice king. GODDAMMIT SANJI. Gettin' real tired of this joke, show. Fuck yeah, party! Shut up and get on the shark. We're still missing Franky and Robin, right? And then these random schmucks got murdered. FUCKING ARLONG?

Great, gonna have fun dealing with their customer service about the yearly subscription I paid for in January. Two free months of CR premium ain't exactly an even trade on that one.

All I knew about Shenmue going into this anime was the forklift meme and that everyone hated the third game. I was unreasonably excited for that Forklift Content and somehow I was not disappointed. 9/10, would have preferred more forklifts.

I'm dragging myself away from the Disney Villain Pretty Boy Isekai game I've gotten sucked into for this, be grateful. Shenmue- I'm just here for the forklift. Oh right, I forgot this was the 80s and travel agencies were still a thing. Not the piggy bank! Hi, discount Josuke. Start whoring yourself out, Ryo. These two are fucking. I am unreasonably excited for this forklift content. Just drive the forklift, forklift driver. No don't leave him alone he's not forklift certified! BRO BRO BRO. I hate this boy. Go bang your girlfriend, Ryo. Maybe your dad wouldn't have abandoned you if you didn't suck so much. This guy's back to beat your ass. Sweet, you learned a new movie. Is she about to get kidnapped so he can save her? Canada, eh. That pallet isn't straight, you fucking failure. BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO BRO. Oh no don't beat up the forklift guy. The bond between forklift operators is sacred. This is not going to go well for her. Nozomi you fucking idiot. I refuse to fear anyone named Terry. Show them your sweet forklift skills. This could be going better. Quick, fake your death. Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. Titan- If Levi doesn't come back from the dead to kill Zeke I'm flipping a table. I'm rooting for packmule here. Armin aren't you a titan too? Fuck you, Zeke. I think that guy might be dead. Aww, that was nice of him. Everyone likes Falco. FUCK Zeke. And then everything was titans. Well this whole operation went tits up in a hurry. Reiner just wants to fucking die. It's important to remember that all of this is Gabi's fault. Oh hey, that guy. I hate you, Zeke. WHELP. You leave everyone's balls alone. So they never developed therapy in this universe. Just two nice brothers playing a game of catch. Wait was Gabi the one who blew his head off because she's once again going to ruin everything. Does the bus run through here? Shit has gotten weird. Order her to destroy everyone's balls like we planned! EAT SHIT, ZEKE. Ymir says no. W H E L P. Ass Class- Thanks for the exposition, chestnut mascot. UNEMPLOYMENT IS AT ALL-TIME HIGH! I hate that kid. Come eat our nuts, high school kids. Ohhhh, they're those guys. Their ultimate weapon: shitty Yelp reviews. Don't you dare Food Wars this. God I'm gay. This place looks fucking unbearable. PLAY FREEBIRD. Oh hey, it's the orphans. Do we know this kid? I have no memory of this boy. Oh hell it's that guy. Poor Nagisa. Karma's just here to whore him out. "He's just a weeb" is a solid excuse. Oh come on how is that guy not dead. GUN. Busted. He didn't know you were a dude. "Whip your dick out!" Aww, he's a nice rich douchebag. Was that Bobobo? Aw hell it's his crazy mom, kick her out. Will you let him cut his hair? Is that a spark of backstory I see? Abyss- Dang lady how old are you? Oh hey, it's the magic box. That ain't right. Ohhhh that's fucked up. I'm not comfortable with any of this. Jesus Ozen chill your shit. Reg is a good boy. Yeah I think it's pretty clear this this is a location that god has abandoned. I don't trust this woman around kids. Please don't hurt my robot son. Goddamn she beat this hit out of her. I DON'T LIKE THIS. What the fuuuuuuuuck. MY KIDS, NO! This is some fucked up shit. False alarm and she's not going to murder them, I guess? I only panic-cried a little bit with this. Oh shit her mom's not dead! Aww tiny Lyza. Oh they fuckin. Ozen is your mom now. One Piece- Ooh it looks cool. I like the sea giraffe. Stop bullying our kraken! Brook is a delight. The hell is this? On fuck you you're with Arlong. We're having grilled fish tonight, gang! For the love of god just hold Luffy down. Haaa, it's a sea lion. Don't let Sanji see those mermamids. Oh good, it worked. And then everyone died. Everybody grab a devil fruit user and save them. Oh my god look at the tiny adorable mermaids. CAMIE! Where's the rest of the crew? She's so cute. Mood, girl. Please tell me what the deal is with the little mermaids. Sanji's going to die. Sanji you've been here for like ten minutes. Bubbles! Oh my god the turtle has a whistle. I'm happy for the starfish. That's the current from Finding Nemo. "I don't get it but it sure is neat!" is how I feel about most things. God I'm gay. RIP Sanji. Meanwhile, shit's abrewin' in the rough side of town. Oh yeah this is gonna go just great for you. Oh good, the others are alive. Robin and Franky are married. Boy I hope Zoro didn't get tossed somewhere alone. I'm sure Sanji having a rare blood type won't come up at any point. Luffy collects warlords like pokemon. Uncle Fish! Spoiler alert my boyfriend died pre-timeskip. I love the little mermaids so much. That sure is some kind of ship alright. ATTENTION DUELISTS. Titties. Oh my god Sanji's going to die. You are all weirdos. Having my face smashed between a set of massive boobs is also how I want to die. GODDAMMIT SANJI. It's okay sweetie it's not your fault. If you shoot all the blood out of your nose you won't have enough left to fill your dick! Aw crap, Zoro's on his own. Oh neat, that's good to know about blood. I always love all the different laughs in this show. They're pirates, they don't care about laws. Humans suck. And then Luffy destroyed them all. Aww the sea bear doesn't wanna fight him. Camie, just casually stealing the royal boat. Oh my god you could have just said y'all were friendly when you showed up instead of unleashing all the guards.

Nipple lights are the one cyborg upgrade I'd consider.

The best choice I ever made was dropping Naruto years ago. Shenmue- Did he say they're having a knife festival? Of course the china shop can read Chinese. Oh hey, soccer kid. Gee that would have been helpful to know before your dad got the shit murdered out of him. Mugging is uncool. I'm guessing this episode took several hours of gameplay in the original version. Oh right, the mirror thing. He's a master of the martial art known as murdering the shit out of people. This old man is absolutely going to get murdered. The plot, it thickens. This guy's mad because Daddy doesn't love him enough. So like, why not just give that guy the mirror if that's all he wants. Bang that girl, Ryo. Oh yeah, girls always hate other people knowing they look in mirrors. SHE WANTS YOU TO BONE HER. That's a totally unconspicuous secret hole in the wall. Secret room nothing, that's practically a whole damn secret second house hidden in there. Oh hey, there's the thing. Goddammit this ugly fucker again. I hope that guy dies soon. The Mad Angels, not to be confused with me, who's just a generally bitter and angry angel. Do ye fear death, Jack Sparrow? FORKLIFT AHOY. Titan- Someone give Mikasa a hug. Oh hey, Sasha's family is here. Save Eren so you can beat his ass yourselves. Meanwhile, this could be going better. Reiner also needs a hug and for someone to remove all the sharp objects in his house. Oh great, fucking Zeke's here. YEET. Props to this show for giving me the ass shots I literally never wanted, I respect it as much as I hate it. Gabi, still the worst. This guy's having a rough day. Jean's had enough of this shit. Oh hey Seitz is alive. Oh hey the one old guy. Oh shit she gave up her scarf. I hope this lady dies painfully soon. Watching Titan Eren waddle down the street is kinda cracking me up. I hope Levi comes back from the dead just to kill the shit out of zeke. GOD I hate that lady. On the flip side, this guy is the best. Let the cute chef guy kill her this time. I'm with Sasha's sister on this one. Oh hey, she's finally learning a lesson here. Falco is a good boy. It's funny that you think Zeke won't do it anyways even if he knows it'd destory Falco. Oh no, I liked pack mule. SIKE. I'm not luck yenough to have Zeke die here. Ass Class- Oh dang, she's looking good. Boners everywhere. Poor Nagisa. Karma's the best. I love these kids and their squid dad. Nagisa no! Please give this boy a hug. Oh hey, he has a mom. Son you're not helping your case here. Aw fuck she's crazy. I don't like this. Suddenly the gender jokes aren't as funny. Good luck, squid sensei. Oh lord here we go. I DON'T LIKE THIS. Goddammit Koro. I love this squid so much. Oh FUCK what is this. Lady what the fuck. And then this happened. Let him cut his hair. I'm your mom now. This is exactly how I feel at red lights. My little boy is growing up. Abyss- I'm sure she's nice. Get in the creepy giant cage, kids. Oh right, the whole curse thing. Tall lady. I like her. I love my kids. Yeah she had help, check out her cool robot friend. Here, explain it all to my child maid. Sweet, free whistles. Well, she has barfed a lot today. That's nicer than my house. That's a good question. Marulk is also my child. RIKO HONEY, PANTS. Aww, that was nice of her. As a pasty fucker with shit sun tolerance, that's a mood. Riko's having a great day. Watch out for the barf curse again. I got a bad feel about this, Scoob. WHAT THE FUCK. I'm pretty sure she pissed herself. She wet his bed. Whatever the explanation is on that, I don't think it'll be good. The plot, it thickens. So uh, who made the grave? I'm gonna vote we don't go in the weird lady's creepy private library. Box. One Piece- I'm nodding off and I've already seen these episodes so I'm throwing in the towel for the night. Edit: I take it back, I need to share my love for Franky's nipple lights.

Fena still showed plenty of potential after the first couple episodes. So yes, it is too early to crown a show the best after only two weeks.

Shenmue- If he doesn't bone that cute girl who's clearly thirsty for him, I will be severely disappointed in him. I like this girl and her little baby sheep. Surely this poem isn't applicable to our main character. Plot twist, it is written in Chinese but they just had absolute garbage handwriting. Oh good, this ugly fucker's still around. Thanks, friendly old man. Is this the sailor thing people have been referencing for two weeks? Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya? I refuse to fear a man named Charlie. Oh hey, it's that little boy. This'll go well. At least the boy got his soccer ball back. Ask the hot dog guy, maybe he can read it. SHE WANTS TO BANG YOU. Canada, eh? Oh yeah, kidnap the dude who keeps beating everyone's asses, that'll go great. The right direction is VENGEANCE. This is totes not a trap. I'm laughing at how unnecessary tight they made those thugs' shirts. MY MAIL. And then he punched everyone. Don't distract him, old man. Thanks for the help, Charlie. Oh hey did this old guy teach his dad? Next up, pottery side-quest. Titan- Oh fuck is Levi dead? I refuse to believe Levi's actually dead. Fuck you, Flock or whatever the fuck your name was. Uhhh what's up with that? Zeke, still the fucking worst. I love Hange so much. UHHHHHHHHH WHATS UP WITH THAT? Stop showing me Zeke's ass. Alright this song is a banger. LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUMBLE. Use Gabi as a human shield. I do like packmule girl. Reiner got a lot more attractive in this last season when he developed crippling depression. Owww arm. It's funny that you think he's gonna listen to any order you give him. Titan fight, go! What happened to the one nice boy she was with? Oh right, Falco got fucked up. Oh yeah, this is gonna go just great. Oh great, now everybody is shooting at everybody. That's a lot of blood. Oh hey, are you dumb bastards actually gonna do something not totally sutpid and let the main characters out? Oh right, Sasha's cute boyfriend is here. Nobody wants to see your balls cut off. Mikasa needs a hug. I mean, Levi's also an Ackerman and also kicked the shit out of Eren that one time. Meanwhile, this could be going better. Ass Class- Dog Koro-sensei is still hilarious. At least we got Tits Mcgee back. Oh no there he goes. I forgive her. Tongue. Shit he's gonna drown them all. SMACK. He's so cool. Maybe don't call her Professor Bitch if you want her to help you. Please don't kill him we love him. Seriously what is with this dude's dark evil aura. I can't stop staring at her tits. Shit he used her as a decoy. Oh no is bitch dead? Bitch-sensei's had it rough. Awww he does care. Eat shit, Reaper Dandy. Koro. HELLOOOO KARASUMA. God, what a mood. I can't stop staring at his tits. Oh I'm into this. What the FUCK. Aim for his gross skinless face. You douchebag. Aw hell is this my fault. PSYCHE. This is definitely doing things for bitch. Calm down lady. Oh he's smooth. Now kiss. Karasuma is best dad. It's going to break me when they inevitably have to kill that squid. Abyss- Surely this is gonna go just great. Neat, giant compass trees. Aw shit who's that. I got a bad feeling about that voice, kids. Ohhhh I don't like that. Riko no! You're gonna have to kill the murder birds, Reg. Oh fuuuuuck there's a whole flock of them. Shit it's the level curse. And then Riko got eaten. FUCK YOU, BIRDS. I, uh, think you got them. You're a good boy is what you are. This is fine. I love my kids. Aw shit Reg broke. Oh that's horrifying. That notebook would have come in handy, I'm sure. I love her. It's fine, it's technically not cannibalism. This place is so cool. Awwwww Reg is such a good boy. Goddamn monkeys! Hello there, random maid. I got a bad feeling about this, kids. Say hello to Ozen! One Piece- Why do we let Caribou exist? Nice boat. Oh shit it's baby Roger. Aww he misses his friend. Reminder that devil fruit users lose the ability to swim, so they could never see any of this normally. YOHOHOHO. Zoro. That's a big fish. Luffy no! Zoro no! And then Sanji died. Oh my god you idiots are going to die. Oh thank god, that bubble's more durable than I thought. Oh my god you idiots are going to die. I love Chopper. Well that sounds ominous. ROBOT STUFF! Thanks for the crotch shot, show. Thanks, octobro. Oh shit Kuma protected the ship? Vegapunk, you say? Thanks, bearbro. Sanji is suffering. GODDAMMIT CARIBOU WHY DO WE LET YOU EXIST. I wish I could speak whale. What's that? SEACOW! Please save the seacow. Mohmoo! Why do I not have a plushie of that thing? Quick, toss him off the ship to his death. Thank you Franky. YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER. Goddammit Sanji, again. Chopper stole his skull joke. I love Brook so much. It looks cool even though I don't understand it at all. The hell is that? Is it Cthulhu? Whatever it is, feed Caribou to it. Oh, there's a corpse and it's not Brook. RELEASE THE KRAKEN. Luffy's gonna fight that thing and probably eat it. Brook. Oh good, he's out of blood to explode out of him. Nothing of value was lost and Mohmoo is free, that's a great day. Oh this isn't gonna end well for our gang of idiots. Oh shit Franky's got some moves. HE'S SO FLUFFY.

Okay, real talk? I genuinely think you have an unhealthy fixation on this late-night cartoon block, to the point that your loved ones would be seriously concerned for your well-being if it got cancelled again. Like, damn near every post I see from you is worrying about the state of Toonami, the budget, acquisitions, you name it. There are 40 unpinned threads on the first page of this folder, you made sixteen of them, and the vast majority of those are to complain about something someone did or worry about the schedule and getting shows for it. That shit is exhausting just to read, I have no idea how you manage to function with what appears to be a severe level of anxiety over the block. Get a therapist, or a hobby, or a fleshlight, anything to focus on that isn't Toonami for a change. I'll hook you up with my favorite sex toy site if it'll get your mind off cartoons for twenty minutes! It's clear that Toonami is a labor of love, and those involved are going to do everything in their power to keep it alive as long as possible. It may dwindle down to a two-hour block of Naruto premiers and original reruns, but it'll still exist in some form as long as they can keep it up. Worse comes to worst, I actually think it's more likely for HBO to absorb it as some kind of branding for DC and mature animation than letting it die entirely. Toonami fans are nothing if not loyal, and it'd be a waste not to try and milk that loyalty for whatever they can get from it. It's nothing short of a fucking miracle that Toonami came back from the dead in the first place; the thought of it one day running its course and returning to the graveyard from whence it came isn't too horrifying when you look at the legacy it'll leave whenever that day comes.

Every time you doompost about the block, their budget gets cut another $100.

Well, that sure was a series we watched. Blade Runner- Will this show actually make me feel anything this time or nah? I hope this nerd dies. Just beat his ass already. This guy has definitely microwaved a melon and fucked it in the past, probably more than once. This sure is a fight that's happening. Okay I guess we're just not going to bother taking Joseph to a doctor and are just gonna let him slowly die of his injuries, cool. When did the nerd get out of the fightin' room? It's fine, she didn't need that hand. Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. He's going to stab you through the gut and kill you for failing to kill her. Wow what a shock. Oh this is some bullshit. Well he didn't see that coming. You could have just killed him but just blinding him so he can continue his horse shit is fine, I guess. Was there a reason he had to blow himself up for this plan to work or did he just not want to bother with a hospital? Oh hey, the one decent cop's alive. Oh good, the nerd's evil plans are still full steam ahead. I wonder if I would have gotten anything out of this show if I knew anything about the Blade Runner franchise. Shenmue- I also know nothing about this franchise except everyone hated the third game and there's something about a forklift, I think? That sure is a vague and cryptic prophecy. This looks like a good boy. For a second there I thought those fish were wearing hats. Showing me adorable baby animals is a great way to win me over. Oh yeah I'm really scared of these nerds. I think you broke his sternum. Let those boys have some booze, they earned it. I choose to believe the dancing hot dog guy is a main character in the games. Oh yeah I'm real scared of these dudes crying over ice cream. Aww she likes him. I got a bad feel about this, Scooby. Whelp, your dad's dead. I like this guy's outfit. You're a douche, fancy guy. RIP punch dad. Who's this ugly bastard? Just look for a fancily-dressed punchy guy and you'll find him. Ryo needs a hug. Girl, you hug him. Oh she wants your hot dog alright. Look gang, a clue! Thanks, random dude. Don't go in there you idiot! Oh good, the ugly fucker's here. Grab his dick and twist it! Now this is a good boy I can root for. We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, wonder who it's from? Ass Class- Oh no they forgot her birthday. Y'all fuckin yet? Aww they're doing a birthday thing for her. Don't worry, you can find a decent dildo at any price range...wait not that kind of grown up gift. Flowers work too. I love Bitch Sensei. You dumb bastard just screw her already. Now kiss. GODDAMMIT KARASUMA. Boooooooooooo. Ah hell she got kidnapped. Bye Koro-sensei. The hell are you doing here, flower guy? Aw fuck he's the villain. How dare you hurt my waifu. I always vote for letting Karma kill terrible people. Maybe wanna tell your remaining teacher about this? Ah shit of course you're locked in. Pocket sand! Good job, kids. Meanwhile, squid shenanigans. He hacked your vocaloid. That's not normal. Oh sweet, crazymode Nagisa's here. It's okay kiddo the important thing is you tried. You okay there, sensei? Well, shit. Good news, dad's here. That fucking costume. Abyss- I love my kids. Oh sweet, his arms are a security system. I hope y'all brought a map with you. This place is goddamn beautiful; ominous as shit, but beautiful. Fish time! That looks really good. Is that a log pose? Nooo the compass! Oh nice did he steal the letters-no it was the other guy. Oh shit he's coming, y'all better run. Ohhhh jesus christ I don't like that. Ewww spider goop. What's the reverse of altitude sickness because that's what she has. You okay there Reg? You okay tehre Riko? Shit you're caught. Cheese it! Oh hi Hagrid. Look at my cool robot son. Don't do that. Great you've seen his dong now let them go. Sweet, free vaccine! Sweet, free mustard buns! Ozen sounds cool let's meet her. Awww, hugging. Bye Hagrid. Awwwww tiny Riko. Welcome to level 2, kiddos. Now you just have to worry about everything else trying to kill you down there. One Piece- Joke's on you he looks like the same nerd as always. Thank you, groupies. YOHOHOHOHOHO. Meanwhile, the dick-measuring contest continues. I love these bastards. Did the fakes not think the navy would come over when they started spamming the name? Why do we let Caribou exist. I love Luffy he's so fucking stupid. Ewww he's mud. Oh good the terminators are here. And then everyone died. I'm going to enjoy watching him get wrecked. Thank god somebody finally noticed he's fake. How is Fat Soi Fon the smartest one here. "You almost blew up my lunches, what did food ever do to you?" Luffy got good over the timeskip. He broke the terminator. ONE PUUUUNCH. Yay the boys are together again. Everybody got good. Bye sexy grandpa. HI HANCOCK. I know I've already made the joke about wanting to be part of Rayleigh and Shakky's marriage but i am 100% serious on that. Don't let Zoro lead the way! Oh hey, ghost girl! Those two are friends now. Sanji no that's creepy. Chopper made a big bird friend. I love Brook so much. Goddammit Brook. Awwww yay the gang's all here. And then Sanji died. Uh guys remember you're being attacked. I LOVE MY WIFE. Oh no Sanji's going to die. Oh he's hard alright. If Luffy won't marry you I sure as hell will. Meanwhile, what the fuck? Aww, Usopp has a friend. Nami has wizard friends. I don't understand that at all but go for it. CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKERS. Alright the army of drag queens helping Sanji absolutely did not age well. You're wasting time, just go!

I'd love that but can the block really handle the sheer horny energy of the amalgamation of Hisoka and Dio?

Eh, we'll get it when we get it. Blade Runner- I hate this albino robot girl already. Why'd they give her this accent? Don't get in the way here, only decent cop in town. Don't trust the chief you idiot! Wow, what a shock. This would be way more impactful if any character in this show had managed to make any sort of impression beyond just vaguely existing. I take it back, I feel disgust towards this weird incel nerd and I want to fight him. Are these two gonna fuck or what. Oh good, he's hallucinating his old dead robot girlfriend. Dude's just got a fetish for robots, don't kinkshame him. Sure go ahead and shoot each other, see if I care. My dude that elevator is a giant cage with dozens of gun-size holes. I'm guessing Elle's gonna run in just in time to watch him get shot and die, because this shit can be someone else's fault for a change. Speak for yourself ya douche, I'm ruled almost entirely by anger and thirst. Oh hey, he killed the douche. I feel nothing, show. Oh hey, he isn't dead yet. Ass Ckass- Eat shit, rich kids! Parkour. And then they accidentally killed a man. Ohhhh that's one angry octopus. Dude no that sounds like a punishment. You could get Bitch Sensei to seduce him into staying quiet. You're not helping, sensei! Oh no, tiny sad orphans. These were fun episodes in MHA. Little kid you're out of your league here. New plan, study home repair! What. I do not like this child. Oh no, kitty. That's where our strength comes from, and also the weird squid monster that's training us to murder him. Remember when those kids called Todoroki Five Weenie Man? Oh hey, the building doesn't look like dilapidated shit anymore. Hope it was worth it because they're all gonna fail their exams. I still don't like this child. That went just about as bad as expected. Oh hey Karma. I still vote you just let Karma knife them all. The kids are here for your kebabs. Oooh do I see some tragic backstory on the horizon? Abyss- Surely this will go well. Oh, just going to the bottom of the abyss, no big deal. Well all of that looks horrifying. A hollow, you say? I love my robot son. Nice, you found a stress ball. It's fine, just a creepy praying skeleton. The birthday what now? Oh that's ominous. I think Nat has some issues. What you are is a good boy and that's all you need to know. Oh shit we're leaving early. Reg is best boy. It's fine, just use the Inspector Gadget arms the whole way down it'll work out. Ohhhhhh this seems ominous as FUCK. It's actually way more terrifying if her mom's not the one who wrote that. Great now look what you've done, Precious Moments is crying. Kids just make up and get in that last hug because you're about to go spelunking down the massive Death Hole of No Return. Aw shit the little one's got that deadly birthday disease. Shit, you're caught! Yeah, violent shitting sounds about right. Aww, I'm glad they made up. Into the hole, children! Whatcha got there, Reg? I'm already crying! That random guy just screaming "SHUT UP" at them cracked me up. There they go. One Piece- Robin and Franky are married and you'll never convince me otherwise. I'm happy for Brook. I love it when Ian gets to sing. Meanwhile, fake crew got wrecked. Chopper honey no. Fake Robin is gone and nothing of value was lost. HOW DARE YOU HIT MY REINDEER. He's not a pet! Aw shit it's Fat Soi Fon and the terminators. Meanwhile, douchebags. God I love Nami. I love these idiots. I could also go for some of that. Goddammit Sanji. Zoro no! Chopper is doing his best. Oh thank god the real ones found him. Awwwwwwwwww. Oh my god Chopper honey. Mustache Luffy. Goddammit Luffy not you too! How did Zoro even find his way there? Boys just whip your dicks out already and grab the measuring tape. I immediately hate Caribou and want him to die. PLAY FREEBIRD. Brook you're making your staff uncomfortable. I fucking hate this guy and his stupid extra long sleeves. Whelp, so much for that guy. I can't wait to see Fake Luffy get his face punched in. Goddammit actual Luffy, put those braincells to work! Please tell me we get a whole Brook song. Huh, I always kinda wondered if Brook's old bounty was still open. The manager betrayed us? Oh yeah shoot the skeleton, that'll work great. Heeee look at them fanboy Franky. Calm down Chopper. Sweet, he's got mini hands. I'm unreasonably amused by the instant hair change. This is cute. If Rayleigh and Shakki are looking for a young sister-wife I'm available any time. Fuck off losers, we're here for a concert. FUCK YEAH, BROOK SONG. Ian sounds like he's having so much fun. The skeleton is Dandy, baby.

Booooooo

The hell did y'all revive this thread for?

YO HO HO HE TOOK A BITE OF GUM GUM Blade Runner- Envision these nuts, nerd. This man just looks like he's dying to explain NFTs to me and I want to fight him. I'd like to rewrite my memories of watching Black Clover, if that option's available. My stream kept freezing for half the episode but I honestly don't think I missed much. So are these two gonna fuck by the end of this? Wait, this is a future where phone booths still exist? That man makes me viscerally uncomfortable for reasons I can't describe. Oh hey, the one shitty cop in town. Is she even allowed to arrest her or is she still suspended? Meanwhile, the new sexbot is here to kill you. Whelp, he's dead. What a surprise, they didn't kill off the main character with 2-3 episodes left in the show. I feel like I'd be enjoying this more if the show had been able to give me any emotional connection at all for Elle anything else here. Ass Class- I don't like those women. Haa, all the girls like him. Forbidden love! NOT Prince Charming! That does look like good French toast. Goddammit it's the rich kids. Ahahahaha you dumb rich bastard. That middle-aged kid is never right. BEAT THEIR SHIT, KIDS. I love this squid so much. Oh you fucking assholes. Of course the foreign students are Americans. It's okay kids try your best. EAT SHIT, AMERICANS. Just let Karma stab them all. Grab his dick and twist it! New plan, chaos. Fuck you, rich boy! So what if he knows martial arts, the entire damn class knows martial arts! Physics, bitch! Correction, not physics, bitch! New boy to the rescue. YEET. FUCK YEAH! You were owned, as the kids say. Shut up, Kevin! I love my kids. Meanwhile, those dudes got clapped. Oh my god you pretentious sack of shit. Fuck yeah, leftovers! Abyss- I love this child so much. Oh, so it's like reverse scuba diving. Well, that's horrifying. Riko no. Penis. Oh no we gotta hide our little robot buddy. Please don't dissect my robot son. He's in! Aww that's cute. Hi, pretty lady. ARMS. Oh, so the colored whistles mean different things. Hagrid's returned. "Lyza the Annihilator" is a badass name. Oh shit is her mom dead? Hell yeah, puppet show! The nose on that guy. Sorry about your mom, kiddo. Please hug this child. Dude her mom just died, give her a break. Your mom sounds cool as hell. My eyes are broke as shit. Oh dang she was born down there? Awww she gave up all of it to save Riko. Awww my kids are holding hands. Oh SHIT she found Reg down there. Booooooooo we don't get the full ED. Okay when do we get this adorable bunny friend? One Piece- Previously on One Piece, my boyfriend fucking died. Snake bow. HANCOCK IS MY WIFE. It's fine, I'll marry you instead. I have the dumbest grin watching this OP. I miss Shanks. Bubbles. Rayleigh is hot. Zoro's the first to get there. Hellooooo Nami. Info dump, go. I'm disappointed that they didn't just call in the 4kids voices to do it. I'm glad Brook became a huge star over the timeskip. FUCK YEAH, BROOK SONG. Sanji, getting a boner. He spent two years on an island full of drag queens and this is the point where I have to point out things were much different 10+ years ago. They voice actors are all doing each other's voices. I wonder if she's insulted by her fake version. Usopp! Boobs. Usopp's having a great day. I miss Sniper King. LIGHTNING, BITCH. There goes that entire bar. Hi, Robin's boobs! Franky what the hell did you do to yourself. Chopper looking even more adorable. I do not like Fake Luffy. Meanwhile, actual Luffy. God I wish Brook got to sing more. I love Hancock so much. I'm pretty sure he ditched everything except the food. Where do I apply to join the Lesbian Snake Pirates? Hancock reacting exactly how I react to my unattainable boyfriends. Go ahead and shoot him, see what happens. This guy is loyal to Sanji because he originally looked exactly like Sanji's botched wanted poster until he kicked him so hard in the face his appearance changed. Sanji no. Oh god, fat Zoro. Robin's looking rough. Fox Chopper. I always love Chopper's walking sound effect it's so cute. Oh yeah fighting this guy in the hood is gonna go juuuust great. Seitz sounds goddamn unrecognizable as fake Sniper King. He's made of rubber! Uhh Luffy what'd you just do? You can tell this Franky is fake because he's wearing pants. Someone please go get Chopper. Fake Robin's Texas accent. I'm uncomfortable with Fake Robin. I presume those government agents are going to kill her offscreen and I'm okay with that. Sanji please control your dick. Oh great who's terrified the fish guy. Goddammit Zoro! Zoro the hell did you do to your eye? Whelp, Zoro's gone forever. Sanji's not lucky enough for Zoro to get killed offscreen. Damn dude you leveled up. Goddammit Zoro.

Goddammit Zoro!

Background: That guy was originally their enemy because he looked exactly like Sanji's botched wanted poster, until Sanji kicked him in the face so hard his appearance changed and he swore loyalty to them.

From the wiki because I'm way too lazy to type it out myself: In both the original Japanese cast and the English dub, all of the impostor Straw Hats are voiced by the real Straw Hats' actors, albeit reassigned: Fake Luffy is voiced by Sanji's voice actors. Fake Zoro is voiced by Usopp's voice actors. Fake Nami is voiced by Chopper's voice actresses. Fake Sogeking is voiced by Franky's voice actors. Fake Sanji is voiced by Zoro's voice actors. Fake Chopper is voiced by Luffy's voice actresses. Fake Robin is voiced by Nami's voice actresses. Fake Franky is voiced by Brook's voice actors. As Brook has no correspondent in the fake crew, Robin's voice actresses are left out.