mthor

Granted, but be prepared to stand in line so that the TSA people can search you. I want to be able to walk through walls.

Check your temp - you may be spiking a fever.

I'm guessing #2. I'm not sure why; the only one I'm willing to bet is true is #3 - it's too weird not to be.

Granted, but only when you're using the toilet. I want the power of telekinesis.

The alcohol was already in the medicine. @Still Me - aren't most elixirs compounded with alcohol? I know that historically they were, I'm just not sure how much it's changed.

Quick! Go get on the scale! Even though you know it's just a temporary water weight loss thing, it's so gratifying to see the numbers plummet like that.😉

That was beautiful.

GO CATCH IT!!!

Does it come with instructions? (I'm serious.)

A lot of things do, if you have a script.

Lots of liquids and get plenty of rest (if that's possible while tending a sick child). It may not help fend it off, but it certainly can't hurt. Is she keeping anything down, and how's her temp doing?

So update, please. How's she doing, and how are you holding up?

No matter what it is, it's not going to happen, and if it did, I would fuck it up. I have a gift for that sort of thing.

Happy Birthday!

My sympathies - I somehow scratched the cornea on my good eye Fri night, and walked around into walls for two days because I couldn't wear my glasses over the eye patch. Doing that for a couple of days was bad enough - I can't imagine doing it for months.

Was the title some kind of Freudian slip?

If you didn't find it already, I think he means the McDonald's thread.

Don't forget to say goodnight to Madison. You do remember who Madison is, right?

Not this road, my child.

Next time, take me with you. I know how to do a crichothyrocotomy, sort of.

There's an urban legend about letters like this. I'll spare everybody the whole story, but the punchline is, the apology letter comes back to the person who complains with a note attached to it that says "Send this son of a bitch the bedbug letter." This reads like a bedbug letter.

Do you not know the difference between a reprimand and a termination, or are you too busy revelling in your imaginary power as a fast food consumer to consult a dictionary?

No. At worst, it's an offense that one would be reprimanded for, and only then if it was part of a pattern of impolite behavior.