Doom Metal Alchemist

Are you ultra conservative? Otherwise I don't know why you'd have such a problem with California. Are you afraid of earthquakes? Droughts? High living expenses? Like Ginguy pointed out, since you're in IT, there should be plenty of jobs for you here, at least in the bay area.

It's ok, you're not the first one to dispel the negative stereotype of neckbeards. I don't know how much of a sports fan you are, but anyone who knows anything about baseball knows Buster Posey ain't no loser.

When did you get him?

That counts, as Clinton Dix is already a tragic name even without the Ha-Ha.

Did you just call yourself a confirmed idiot?

I think I have heard of him (or another ball player with the same last name), but the Spanish pronunciation of "oh-DOOR" didn't make me realize the spelling. There's also a MLB player named Antonio Bastardo. Another unfortunate one is Kiké Hernandez (pronounced KEE-kay). Another weird one is Angel Pagan (pronounced puh-GAHN). I wonder what his religion is. It would be ironic for a Christian to be named Pagan, you know?

Since I don't drink, sometimes I act as designated driver for my friend driving to and from local concerts at bars, so he can drink. He reciprocates by buying my tickets and all the sodas I want.

ITT: Musket disproves the neckbeard stereotype.

That smiley makes me very curious...

At least he doesn't look 12, amirite?

Um.... I prefer soda....?

I ain't touching that one. (that has two meanings)

*reads synopsis on Rotten Tomatoes* Does Ryan Reynolds' character take pills to make him unable to hear his pets' voices?

God, if only that were true.... Yay grilling tons of red meat with charcoal, and microwaving tons of frozen foods loaded with preservatives!

Well what if the person proposing doesn't have a monster cock?

............................You work at Jamba Juice?

Man, I kinda want to see that. I don't click zeni threads.

What about Chinese finger traps? ...used on cocks?

There was a Calvin and Hobbes fan comic similar to this. I think in this case, it would've been better if Garfield turned into a realistic looking real cat. So the implication is that Garfield is a real cat, but he doesn't talk or think like a human.

*psst* because of your sig, any thread you post in automatically has balloons in it the second you hit post.

Was Cheers converted into a dance club?

Fixed.

Maybe he got bored of his rainbow suspenders and decided to try a suit with a goofy ass tie.

Earlier this season, Giants 3rd baseman Pablo Sandoval pitched an inning in relief due to a banged up bullpen, but I missed it. Apparently he did very well, with a 1-2-3 inning.

To me he was like magic.