Doom Metal Alchemist

Coffee is better than soda for caffeine, since it has more of it, as well as far less sugar... But because I drank a cup of coffee now I'm fucking sweating. And the coffee wasn't even THAT hot, because I fill half the mug with cold milk. But it was hot enough to make me sweat like I was just outside for a while.

You got a weird fetish, man.

I gotta give you credit for not going with gigantic dorky hipster glasses like so many women these days. Well done.

Our Puritanical past. The fear of sex has been embedded in American culture for centuries.

That's a weird fucking term. According to the invoice it means water resistant.... but it sounds more like it's deathly afraid of water.

I've got Craig of the Creek on in the background, and Craig exclaims, "The cake is fake! You don't have any cake!" And all I could think was, I'll bet the original line called for "The cake is a lie!" but the producers decided that meme is too old for the current crop of kids to know so they took it out. But what do I know, as far as I know, the line that ended up being in the show could've been the original line anyway.

Could be worse. I don't think "raccoon penis bone" is gonna land you on an FBI watch list.

Don't forget stoners.

Hot Pockets should make Pot Pockets.

That's what the website told me.

"It already did."

You need 500 posts.

Is there a punchline in there somewhere?

God DAMN, you're old! What's your secret? Anyway, have this cake, fitting for someone of so advanced age.

Aluminum bat, not hat. A wiffle ball bat ain't killing anything.

For the sake of your peace of mind, get an aluminum bat!

Ronnie James Dio. Other than him, calling this guy a "celebrity" is REALLY pushing it, but Geoff Nichols' death bothered me quite a bit too.

Are you saying Radiohead is "today's" music?

Thank you for this info. I will take this into consideration if I ever enter into a romantic relationship (or fwb or one night stand, or w/e) with someone who likes to be choked.

Well at least you were 18, because the fact that he drove 100+ miles made me think you weren't.

I mean, dude. I know you live in Texas. You think I kind find you with just that knowledge?

I thought Phillies preferred Rei.

Which one? The thread title references one song, while the OP references another. I gave you a "thanks" in hope you are talking about the Cheap Trick one, because I hate that one too. I don't think I've heard the Meat Loaf one.

Oh, I thought this was going to be about Joe Pera.

He did this on accident, I take it?