Doom Metal Alchemist

I wanna see him and Sponges argue for/against the merits of Jurassic World.

And then I can put those coffee ice cubes in my Mountain Dew! BRILLIANT!

wut

What's the trigger for? Does it actually fire the blade?

Yeah, I'm going to be sweating, lol.

Like I said above, I used to refrigerate my coffee, but I think it's gross now.

I just press a button on our coffee maker and it makes what it makes, no idea how to make iced coffee with it. Also I never acquired the taste for iced coffee, even from Starbucks with milk.

I guess that could be an option, but I'd have to buy a big jar with a lid, and a kit, because I am not doing that manually. And I am broke and unemployed. The mildly hot coffee from my parents' coffee maker will have to do, I think.

I don't even know how to do that with our coffee maker. When I first started drinking coffee, I'd get it cold by letting it sit in the fridge. I don't like to do that anymore since I acquired the taste for coffee.

Hot tea or iced tea? I imagine iced tea has massive amounts of sugar, but I don't really know.

Coffee is better than soda for caffeine, since it has more of it, as well as far less sugar... But because I drank a cup of coffee now I'm fucking sweating. And the coffee wasn't even THAT hot, because I fill half the mug with cold milk. But it was hot enough to make me sweat like I was just outside for a while.

You got a weird fetish, man.

I gotta give you credit for not going with gigantic dorky hipster glasses like so many women these days. Well done.

Our Puritanical past. The fear of sex has been embedded in American culture for centuries.

That's a weird fucking term. According to the invoice it means water resistant.... but it sounds more like it's deathly afraid of water.

I've got Craig of the Creek on in the background, and Craig exclaims, "The cake is fake! You don't have any cake!" And all I could think was, I'll bet the original line called for "The cake is a lie!" but the producers decided that meme is too old for the current crop of kids to know so they took it out. But what do I know, as far as I know, the line that ended up being in the show could've been the original line anyway.

Could be worse. I don't think "raccoon penis bone" is gonna land you on an FBI watch list.

Don't forget stoners.

Hot Pockets should make Pot Pockets.

That's what the website told me.

"It already did."

You need 500 posts.

Is there a punchline in there somewhere?

God DAMN, you're old! What's your secret? Anyway, have this cake, fitting for someone of so advanced age.