Doom Metal Alchemist

See now this is good, do what you're passionate about, not want the marketplace wants. Godspeed to you.

And the marketplace wants angry review videos. That's LONG since been proven.

I don't want to see your dick. But now I want to see you in booty shorts.

Ok, how about Dick Greyson then (that's his name, right?)? Just those booty shorts alone qualifies as looking weird.

Well, I've never been to one. Maybe you're on to something there...

I expected Dick Van Dyke. I am disappointed.

Is he a doctor? Because he might be finding cancer and not even knowing it.

This is the proper attitude. ^ My hair does that shit when its short too. Fuck that.

@NaBron_James teach this guy to kill a mouse without even really trying.

No thanks.

Wait.... aren't you the guy who says he has a tiny dick? And you're picking something you can actually do yourself in the real world?

Need a barf react.

Since like late 2014 the only hair cuts I've had are basically trims. Usually it's a result of my mom complaining she's finding my hair everywhere, lol.

Exactly.

Oh that's ok then.

Is it still going to be long at least?

GODDAMNIT A RAPE O' THE LOCKS IS EVEN WORSE THAN A BREAST REDUCTION

Ugh. No to Phillies and double no to his cum encrusted pillow.

The thing is I made my "love of chest pillows" FAR more obvious in the distant past than I do now. I hope you're not reading that thinking, "How is that even possible?" because I thought I was more subtle about it now.

I think you mean SkinDRIVERS. Heyo!

........So Phillies has two dates and I have none. That's not a double date.

I mean, yeah, now that I'm finally employed I bag on Phillies, but for that he doesn't WANT a job. Job searching in this day and age is absolutely soul-crushing, but that didn't mean I didn't want to work, it just meant I wish I could act like an old cartoon where there's a building with a "Now hiring" sign in the window, I just walk in, remove the sign, and hey, I'm hired. Job SEARCHING is infinitely worse than actually working, imo.

That's what headlights and streetlights are for! Heyo!

I have not experienced this. Or if I have it was a long fucking time ago. But even then, shouldn't these people be like, "I'm not comfortable going fast at night, I should get in the slow lane."?

That would require me to find a date. Finding a date is for me what finding a job is for phillies.