Doom Metal Alchemist

Dentist visits are always so unpleasant.... and yet life would be infinitely worse without them.

Only uses real card decks for solitaire, calls people who use computer/mobile solitaire apps "posers."

Refuses to eat any Asian food with chopsticks, but insists on eating steak and potatoes with chopsticks.

Eats soup with a fork

Pitched "a show about nothing" to NBC.

Is the Jerry to my Newman.

Has modeled his life after George Costanza.

Thinks anything that dissolves in milk is funny.

Swears up and down that Metal Magic is the best Pantera album. Is absolutely willing to die on this hill.

Was the ghostwriter for World Domination For Dummies.

Stupid Elmer Fuddisms aside, I liked how he flubbed his line and they didn't even have him redo it.

WTF am I the only one that thinks Zero is deserving of a much more badass voice than that goofy ass shit he got stuck with?

The phrase "make you feel my love" sounds a little rapey...

Got his hair cut like Mr. T and plays kids' birthday parties as Bizarro Mr. T.

Buy peanut butter ice cream for that urge so you'll save your actual peanut butter for your sandwiches. Or maybe buy jelly and have jelly sandwiches instead.

Family Guy single-handedly made me hate that song.

Or your Freddy from Scooby Doo cosplay.

I was actually ready this year! W00t!

How has no one posted Troll 2 yet?

In my experience lack of dryer sheets effects stuff like socks and underwear quite a bit. Stuff like shirts and pants? Not a bit.

This was my very experience with Ocarina of Time. First play through was one of the most epic gaming experiences of my life. I give it a year and then tried to start a second play through. I was so fucking board in the Deku Tree I just turned it off and never played it again.

Until very recently, I fucking loved their chocolate chip cookies. I just ate them too often. I used to like their muffins a lot too. But they make you buy them in sets of 12, and I can't eat that many muffins before most of them start to go bad.

Well, I did it. I officially got sick of Costco's bakery's chocolate chip cookies. Didn't see that coming.