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We're gonna get you some help I know from personal experience that interventions don't work, so we'll start a go-fund-me and use the money to do to you what they do to gay people and white muslims in Indiana. Send you to be reprogrammed through christ....or waterboarding....i'm not sure how that all works.

oh, this is an army thing....and rucksacks are the bags you guys use to carry the things you need to survive....I get it now....I still don't care, but I get it......In fact I might care less than I did before if that's possible....

Happy birthday. Stop drinking tea, I heard it's bad for you.

What's the oldest thing you've kept through the years and how old is it?

First, I went shopping for a backpack that I could clip across my chest when I road my bike, the guy who sold it to me called it a rucksack....I don't care what you call it, I have it.... Second, you think the junk I didn't take out before I left it in the garage is rare? The can of beer or the twenty dollar lighter?

it's junk Even if it wasn't....the unwanted memories outweigh any value it other wise would have had

Oh the memories.... - Unopened can of miller light (it time traveled to be here with me tonight, shame not to drink it) - 500 rwandan francs (so basically fifty cents) - Faded bronze zippo lighter (I thought this thing was bad ass then, I think it's bad ass now.....progression through the years = 0%) - Torn Logg jacket from when I wrecked my bike (skin tax paid in full) so.....should I burn this stuff or what

same here

That's checkmate.

Two women! wow! I mean....when I eventually have sex, I think one will do......but, yeah, sure, two seems like a fun time, probably... How's your cardio?

I does say Iggy what's wrong with you

This is bullshit! They should have cast someone from the green community to play this role.

He reeks of booze. He's in no condition to drive. He's gonna crash on my couch. I'll put the presents in the mail tomorrow. Before you bitch and moan about the presents, you don't have one coming. There's like seven in the sack. He said the rest of us were assholes this year. Also he's racist. Merry Christmas, muthafukkas.

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I forgot to mention they were men.

the way I read this.....well, I pictured you enthusiastically walking into a hotel room with some czechoslovakian prostitutes

Why is it called dumb luck? Can someone who can fit their fist in their mouth be justifiably angry when asked if they can fit it elsewhere? Both leopards and squirrels eat and store their food in trees. Do you think deforestation starts a war between them or will they join forces to destroy mankind and claim the earth for their own?

You didn't hear? He finally got a girlfriend. Then the Swat Team got her back.

Be honest, how soon before you start thinking about who you would eat first?

Did they dry up when covid hit the scene or am I misremembering the timeline? just sayin' @Phillies was ahead of his time

trade ya wanna spend Christmas with a bunch o' Ethiopians who are constantly making calls to east africa to make sure no one they know has been gunned down yet?

yeah, a seventh time would be pushing it