Mix

the Amy Schumer movies flipped the traditional model and had the slutty one as the lead it's your call, but if you want to be the lead, you have to be Schumer

You like 'em thick, huh respect

more proof that you're a character in a romantic comedy Do you think you're the main character? shit, what does that make us I don't like this joke anymore

You owe me twenty bucks @molarbear

the H O S P I T A L I T Y business my brain understood and yet still almost shut down the hospitality business....the business of being hospitable.... hossssspittttality there is money in it.......hospitality we should get into that business what business the hospitality business god, I miss drugs

cinematic......bitch, that's a scene from at least a dozen movies you're out here living people's fantasies and shit

well, it wasn't stolen or parked directly in front of your mom's house, so you experience the full combined crushing panic of having sex for the first time with possibly the eyes of your family and neighbors on you

I said don't bang in a stolen car, not, don't bang in a stolen police car

thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt and not assuming this information is based on personal life experience

It leaves DNA.

See this is why I can't get ahead in life....I didn't even think of all that I mean I was willing to leave my luggage behind

do you have to stick around like in a car crash or can you just go home? like did those people in miracle on the hudson stick around, or did they just hail a cab and go home

Happy birthday or whatever the equivalent celebration is for a demon summoning

Tell it to get a job

Hurt you? How? A boys medium is my actual shirt size. I don't wear it to show off my muscles, Mr. 600 pound deadlift

That's my secret

I can still see the horde cresting the hill. There were millions upon millions, charging for me. My last words before they swarmed me were, "...yew fookin beeech how cood yew doo dis to mehhhhh..."

almost exclusively

tolerable

You're right, Poof.

Those other sperm must of been some useless fucks

If I were to describe my family as a tv show it would be Dexter's laboratory except everyone but me is Dexter. They're all smart and have their own things going on that they don't share with the rest of the group. And I'm like the dad on Dexter's lab. I'm the character that's not too bright and is brought out as comic relief and my main nemesis is a squirrel.

That would be hilarious....but not likely....my family is nothing like me, my mom least of all....I know she'll politely accept it but she won't wear it

She's actually one of those super woke college kids who would take offense