Mix

You have my sympathies.

I tell ya, the story was far more compelling

That whole new year glow wears off around mid January. People stop pretending things are going to be different.

That's a thought I had today on the subway. You get a lot of time to think on public transportation. It can be hard to do if you're not used to it.

At least that's what I told the judge. Stupid judge.....he's lucky I can't leap thirty feet in a single bound. Also, i'm afraid of getting shot......how the hell did they not shoot that guy, lol.

Get this, my man was facing charges of battery with substantial bodily harm. (foreshadowing) Prosecutor wanted prison time because of a history of violence. (good movie) Defense wanted a suspended sentence citing mental health history and successful completion of previous probation programs. (I don't have one for this)

Woah, he practically flew. I see athleticism, determination, focus. Get this man a Pistons uniform.

All it took was one youtube video, fifty autozone trips, a half dozen arson threats, a half dozen sincere apologies (to the car), several bargains struck and forsaken with a handful of deities, and one phone call to a mechanic. Easy Peasy

Have you ever killed anyone? How did it feel? Team Edward or Team Jacob?

My new years resolution is the same every year. Avoid prison at all costs.

Sent the pic to my mom. Her reply was, "it's pretty" My mom is a master of the insult compliment.

Not even George Santos was George Santos all the time.

Might as well. Every Ethiopian restaurant i've been to in America has not been....the best '>.> You want the real deal, you have to make Ethiopian friends and have them take you to their mom's house.

Shit, I forgot I was still George Santos. Actually, it might be funnier this way.

It's all spitting, choking, slapping.....and I don't even want to get into what I do to them.

You had me at lucrative.

I can't believe the newly freed hostages are angry with my buddy Netanyahu. So they got shelled a few times. Everyone's getting shelled over there. It's like I told him last year when he thought about quitting, I said, "don't you dare quit on yourself! Give yourself every opportunity to succeed!" I was talking out of my ass, obviously. I thought he was fucked. The timing of this war saved his ass. Now, he is super grateful. He's always calling to thank me and to offer me asylum or whatever. Good guy, that Netanyahu.

And I know a cop when I see one. This is harassment.

I like being held. Softly, then tight, then softly again.

Of course he does. He has a gang of friends. He is a criminally underrated friend, imho. His friends love him so much, they give him fun nicknames like The Boss or Godfather or The Raven. There's no better friend than The Raven. And there's no better house sitter than Anthony Devulder. Hire me to watch your stuff!

It would be safer to assign one person to oversee everyone's personal information. I understand it's a pain in the ass, but i'm here for you all and would gladly volunteer my time.