Lynnrael

neither my body nor my mood can figure out if they want to feel good or awful today and keep swinging back and forth. I'd like both to stay good please. it's been more than 2 full days since I've had any thc though, so that may be a part of it. that should also mean that certain receptors (i think they called them cb1, but idk) have been "reset" so if i have am edible it should be more enjoyable. still want to wait though, might as well get some cleaning done first so i don't lose track or motivation hallway through.

i hate birthdays and gift giving holidays, and I'd rather give someone a gift just cause than be obligated to it and i hate getting gifts because i don't know how to emote the right emotion and always feel like I'm going to hurt someone's feelings

is that a Ghost in the Shell movie?

having one of those nights where dysphoria and stress are making me want to rip my skin off and pull my brain out of my head through my eye sockets. everything is infuriating and nothing is ok right now hopefully Benadryl, melatonin, and valerian will help. can't be... whatever the fuck this is if I'm not conscious

my sister got this picture of me at the festival lol, I'm growing boobs!

oh hey it's on page 69 now, nice was just thinking about WWWY and the set i cried the most at was definitely rise against. they did swing life away, and then right after they finished he pointed to the sunset and said "everyone look at that". i was already crying cause of the song, but that just took it to another level. it was a beautiful sunset

here's the trailer, but you can find the first episode on that channel as well. it's a bit darker than the old show, and I'm not sure how i feel about it yet.. but it was interesting and I think it has potential

lol no idea where the rest of that went. she was very neglectful and emotionally abusive in a lot of ways. it was hard to remain close to her at times. but i was still close in ways my sister didn't get to be. i feel both lucky and a bit guilty for that. i think she saw herself in me and that made her a little nicer to me.

i was certainly not a daddy's girl, i never really felt close to my dad growing up. i loved him but he was gone a lot (Navy) and we never really got the chance. when I was very little though I was very attached to my mom, but that faded between the ages of 8-10. she was very

well that was an absolute fucking blast. really shitty at parts, but I had so much fun. best of all, i got to go with my sister, who is amazing and made the whole thing lots of fun. Got to see Motion City Soundtrack(one of my faves, though Justin looked a little unwell), something corporate, new found glory(kinda sucked honestly), yellow card (very good), pierce the veil(excellent) rise against(another favorite, and also excellent), saves the day (good), simple plan (phenomenal showmanship, best show of the day i think, even if they weren't my favorite), the offspring (very good) and blink 182 (Travis and Mark brought their absolute A game, Tom sounded rough, great show regardless) i didn't see less than Jake because it conflicted with something my sis wanted to see, but that's ok. we also missed the Ataris, which would have been cool, but I can go see that with my friend. i forgot sunblock though. luckily i only got burnt on a small part of my arms, but i got really really burnt. back and leg pain was still a problem, but that's to be expected. and i almost threw up during blink 182 because i decide to eat some of the most delicious spicy popcorn I've ever had on an empty stomach. all in all it was amazing, I'm so glad i went

I'm stuck in an airport for 2 more hours. I've been here longer than i care to admit because i read the time of my flight wrong. it's cool, i have my phone and stuff to do, but my eyes are starting to feel like sandpaper and I'm not even high. I'm in that weird excited-but-also-bored state of mind that comes with waiting for a plane to take me to do something really fucking cool. I'm super excited to be going to WWWY this year. and with my sister, probably the coolest and best person to go to a music festival with. my return flight was cancelled, but I'm not even remotely worried about it because, fuck it, it'll work out one way or the other. hopefully they get back to me about getting rebooked though so i don't have to try and figure out how to get a hold of someone who can fix it.

idk how popular queens of the stone age are but I've never really liked their music. my friend said they sound "dirty and real" and I don't understand. but to be fair i listen to folk punk and you really can't get dirtier or realer than that. skapunk and skacore are also way more real. like if your music isn't about fighting cops and doing drugs/recovering from addiction, what is the point?

honestly, same. i don't mind subs but if I'm tired after a long day I'm probably also really really fucking high and I'm not gonna be able to follow subs at all

hyperpop is good, actually also, it doesn't really matter if being gay or trans or any kind of queer is innate or not, it we have control of it or not, or whatever. queer people should still be free to do as they please with their lives and bodies, even if it were a choice.

i don't like how much i want to be mean today, why is it so hard for people to just leave me alone? that'd help a lot

that's why i just use wabbajack if i want a fuck ton of mods, so much easier just letting it install a modlist for me