Lynnrael

so I've been learning a little bit about BPD lately, and... well, shit the upside is a lot of the work I've been doing has been basically on the right track and now i have a new way to understand the way i experience things, so that's cool i should have listened when i was told i probably have BPD way back when. welp

lol nah, you're good. the call out wasn't really the customers. i was bitter about it but the problem was always systemic anyways

speed limits are bullshit. i only ever look at a speed limit if i see a cop, but even then i usually have an idea of what it is on whatever road I'm driving on and don't really need it then either. i don't need a sign to tell me how fast is safe to drive in a residential area because i drive like a kid could jump out in front of me at any second anyways, which is to say very carefully. I've never actually had that happen but I've definitely avoided hitting countless small critters. the bunnies on the street i live on are as suicidal as the ones out in the desert where i learned to drive and I've not hit a single one while living here. i don't see how a speed limit is to going to make up for being careful and ready to avoid hurting something. and while I'm on the subject, I'm gonna contradict myself: it's absurd to actually expect that kind of driving competency from every single person. that doesn't mean speed limits are useful after all, it means we shouldn't have a society structured to where every single person needs a car to survive. it's absolutely absurd to think that could ever be safe or responsible and even the processes we have now are not enough. we just accept traffic fatalities like they aren't preventable, but we don't need car centered infrastructure in the first fucking place.

not once, i was never stopped driving to and from work to be crammed shoulder to shoulder with other workers while most of the world got to stay safe at home, all so we could meet the demands of all the people who suddenly needed a fucking apple watch or iPad right then.... my bad, got carried away there. don't worry though, i reported their asses to OSHA right away. things got better quick as to the actual question, it didn't seem like anyone actually cared outside of very specific situations.

felt like i had socal skater girl vibes today

been having a lot of opportunities for character growth lately, and i gotta say, i need a fucking break

i think Chihuahuas are cute. not the little asshole ones, but the ones that are raised by good owners are sweet and adorable and not as weirdly aggressive. Chihuahuas usually end up mean because owners don't think they have to train them and are abusive and neglectful

i cannot explain why but those rubber chickens are always hilarious to me,

I'm not really that picky but dry chicken breast is my least favorite

you'd think puberty would be easier the second time around, but aside from it actually being the right puberty for me it's still the same stupid emotional mess it was last time. i feel like I've never felt this alone in my entire life, but i know objectively that isn't true, it's just hormones and emotions running wild. it doesn't help that i don't have anyone near by to share any kind of physical affection with. i am the stereotypical touch starved trans girl. what's hardest, though, is that i can only think of one time in my life where i really felt connected with another person. but i also know I'm just getting started, and still learning who i am and who i want to be. transition is weird like that, but I'm hoping I'll get be near people i like and who like me, eventually