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Happy birthday!

I went to my sister’s house today, and…she already has her Christmas tree up… I…uh…it’s still November, right?

All I remember is you were a bears fan and i might not even be remembering that right

Lovely Complex 9 Combattler V 14

And I'm confident we'd get away with it for at least a few million ...but here's the thing, I could never enjoy it. I would mentally torture myself for snake oiling people. I have unyielding vengeance if someone has done something to me, but if I fuck over someone who didnt do shit to me, I feel bad. not bad enough to snitch on myself...but bad enough that I would be miserable the whole time.

You wanna get in on this? We can bottle the water from your tub, sink, toilet, wherever. The commercial can start like, “fresh from the mountains of Oklahoma….”

FDA doesnt give a fuck anymore....Run it

Dasani is pee water

Still better than Dasani.

no lie. there's some dude selling bottled water here. from his property. not an artisan well. near the water treatment facility . thank you.

alright. now just hold the fuck on. i make an EXCELLENT whip cream i make a most EXCELLENT pumpkin spice cupcake as well as some NASTY peach cobbler, AND super sweet pecan pie. i HONESTLY FORGOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS. but i'm leaving it. to show my shame.

I swear I wanna bottle puddle water and sell it as “raw water”. I wanna name it “East New York Rainwater” tag line “it’s good for the soul” that’ll attract all the alternative health freaks

Actually, it is illegal to sell unpasteurized milk interstate, and most states have laws regarding its sale within the state. These laws don’t necessarily make it illegal, but they do put some limitations on its availability.

I’m grateful I finally got paid today. I’m not grateful for a single thing else today.

No because whip cream is an absolute abomination.

Pretty pissed my new credit card doesnt come until Tuesday. You bastards did that on purpose. I'm still purchasing the things I needed to get, but I suppose with less of a deal on Tueday than the rest of the weekend. 🙄

Pumpkin pie is gross. Pumpkin everything is gross. YOU SHALL NOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

It's making me think of Alfred Hitchcock's famous silhouette.

pecan or peach cobbler. all this other making pies outta just whatever is in the kitchen shit has to stop. but the cool thing is, i usually get the pecan pie and cobbler mostly to myself. except yesterday...I dont know who grandchild that was but I kinda wanted to fight him. How you just gonna take the whole pie off the table...but the cobbler was uncut, so I just took most of it instead. if his ass over there on Christmas, he catching this fade

i have a special spice blend for just that i use it in my yams as well. i whip those up with heavy cream and add the marshmallow. i'm not a fan of the yams, but my FiL loves them and my daughter is back from WA and she loves them tl:dr good n plenty

The state of New Jersey is shaped like an ugly fuck.

thanksgiving dinner was a roast beef sandwich from a gas station

- Bad Cop Drop. • 2008 John & Jim make a lesson out of bad seeds from LCPD monitoring the biker gangs. The FIB got caught in the crossfire, as they were investigating the two officers.