André Toulon Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 (edited) Almost everyone I know that got married has also gotten divorced. Now this could just be a me thing, but so many random people I meet also have been married and divorced. Almost every woman I encounter is either separated, divorced, or cheating because she hates her husband. Men are always bitter about what the lost, or what they have to pay, or just amazed that putting a ring on it doesn't mean she won't cheat. It's foolish for both parties Obviously, this isn't a full proof plan of action....So why even do it. I know "shacking up" is frowned upon because God can see you or whatever, but it just seems so much more convenient. "Babe, I'm kinda sick of you....I think I'ma move out" "yeah, I almost hate you too...it was fun but let me know if you need help loading the truck" and you just go on with your life. Marriage is a pain to plan, a financial setback for anyone starting a family, and it adds a whole new set a rules to a relationship that you were probably not actually willing to follow to begin with.....then when it goes tits up, now you have to pay MORE money just to get out of it. But you don't pay "God"... apparently he just kinda shrugs and says fuck it to divorce. No, you have to pay the goddamn courts. Now you have to separate the shit you own together, traumatize any kids you may have spawned, make meetings, sign paperwork...none of this sounds appealing. Marriage was only viable when people stayed in it out of habit, fear of shame, or just plain too stubborn to leave, but with divorce on the table, it's just like wtf are you even bothering for. For the life of me, I just can't see value in it....there is not a single person on this planet I need to see daily, and even less so have to see them at home. Edited June 23 by André Toulon 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[classic swim] Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 It’s a sham and always has been. No deluded person has believed in the Nuclear family for over twenty years. The ones getting married now are deep in the God cult and just wanna waste money on a good “we’re fucking until we’re not” ceremony for all their stupid trash family and friends. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 Marriage is just a bastion of the patriarchy and a means of control so why would it be successful when you don't need to be married to have your own life. Beyond that though ... the topic of marriage is problematic at best especially with older people. All of them (that I know) are miserable in their marriages but "you NEED a husband. " For what? Then they come at you with things like ... to lead and guide the family and once again I'm like .... which of your husbands are doing that cause all I see is fucking off and fucking around and y'all doing everything for the privilege (?) of saying me and my husband Pass. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 (edited) .... *sigh* i know. *marriage is dealing with problems you'd never have if you were single. true fucking story. Edited June 23 by discolé monade 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blazing Puck Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blazing Puck Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 Real talk, while cruising the Internet streets I've encountered an interesting phenomenon where you have a bunch of married men who almost never talk about their marriage or give any advice on how to maintain a marriage but spend their every waking moments complaining about what single people (mainly women) are doing with their lives. Even having knock down drag out arguments with said single people.(women) but you're "happily married" so why do you care how single people are living their lives? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 7 minutes ago, -Kudasai- said: Real talk, while cruising the Internet streets I've encountered an interesting phenomenon where you have a bunch of married men who almost never talk about their marriage or give any advice on how to maintain a marriage but spend their every waking moments complaining about what single people (mainly women) are doing with their lives. Even having knock down drag out arguments with said single people.(women) but you're "happily married" so why do you care how single people are living their lives? Men wanting to control women is not new. Why do you think those old white dudes care about women having access to abortions? They don't give a fuck about babies Those southern Baptist fools don't even let women be head of churches. Marriage for them does get you somebody to raise your annoying ass kids that you don't even like, free laundry and meal service ... and some unlubriated missionary if you play your cards right. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Top Gun Posted June 24 Share Posted June 24 I think a lot of it is a matter of perspective. Even growing up I knew very few people with divorced parents. Most of the people I worked with had been married for a long time. I have two brothers who are happily married, and another one who's about to get married next month. There are about 500 reasons why I'll never get married, but I dunno, I never saw anything wrong with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insipid Posted June 24 Share Posted June 24 I have a few Indian and Muslim friends and I noticed something they say that may sound redundant to contemporary Western ears: love marriage. Arranged marriages are still common in their social circles. When you think outside of the whole courting bullshit to find a lovemate, marriage makes much more sense. For most of human history, people had short lives, didn't move far from home, and had tighter knit communities. Marriages based on love in the West started gaining popularity around the start of the Industrial Revolution and coincidentally the Romantic art period. With people complaining about online dating and the worldwide population projected to decline due to decreased fertility rates, perhaps we'll need to develop new schools of thought to address this issue. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 11 hours ago, Insipid said: I have a few Indian and Muslim friends and I noticed something they say that may sound redundant to contemporary Western ears: love marriage. Arranged marriages are still common in their social circles. When you think outside of the whole courting bullshit to find a lovemate, marriage makes much more sense. For most of human history, people had short lives, didn't move far from home, and had tighter knit communities. Marriages based on love in the West started gaining popularity around the start of the Industrial Revolution and coincidentally the Romantic art period. With people complaining about online dating and the worldwide population projected to decline due to decreased fertility rates, perhaps we'll need to develop new schools of thought to address this issue. You can't do all those things without marriage though? I still don't see the benefits besides reinforcing traditional gender roles where the women get the short end of the stick. Marriage is great, I'll never cook my own meals or do my own laundry .... I'll just be over here scratching my balls through my pants pocket and complaining about my wife at work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 Shit ... maybe I just don't like men .... or maybe it's just the oppression ... hard to tell 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted June 25 Author Share Posted June 25 7 hours ago, Vamped said: You can't do all those things without marriage though? I still don't see the benefits besides reinforcing traditional gender roles where the women get the short end of the stick. Marriage is great, I'll never cook my own meals or do my own laundry .... I'll just be over here scratching my balls through my pants pocket and complaining about my wife at work. Ok, ok...but I need to ask. Keep in mind, I'm in no way saying you're wrong that marriage is at its roots patriarchal since multiple wives is a thing in some cultures but outside of TV, I've never heard of multiple husbands BUT, I have also never seen a man say something like "I thought I'd be a husband by now" or place the ultimatum that we can't date if marriage isn't the goal. If it's so demeaning, why do women push for it so hard. It's almost the crown jewel of validation for a lot of females....yet I don't know why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insipid Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 (edited) 9 hours ago, Vamped said: You can't do all those things without marriage though? I still don't see the benefits besides reinforcing traditional gender roles where the women get the short end of the stick. Marriage is great, I'll never cook my own meals or do my own laundry .... I'll just be over here scratching my balls through my pants pocket and complaining about my wife at work. I mean, you just seem to have a vendetta against the concept of marriage. I know of Indian women with highly professional careers in arranged marriages. They don't live in a nuclear household though; their inlaws or parents typically help with domestic duties. I know the situation is different with black households, so I won't comment. I will ask, how do you feel about most black Americans being born out of wedlock? Did you know in European countries where women have many rights like Iceland and France, most children are now born out of wedlock too? Edited June 25 by Insipid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blazing Puck Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 👀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 (edited) 22 hours ago, Top Gun said: Even growing up I knew very few people with divorced parents. Goddamn. I am under the impression that you and I are of similar ages, but I remember in high school it felt like I was the only one whose parents never divorced. A common question was "Do you live with your mom or your dad?" Like the question never presents the option that they're still together and I live with both under one roof. I'd answer the question that I live with both as they have never divorced, and the response was always them being surprised by that. Edited June 25 by Doom Metal Alchemist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Top Gun Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 49 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: Goddamn. I am under the impression that you and I are of similar ages, but I remember in high school it felt like I was the only one whose parents never divorced. A common question was "Do you live with your mom or your dad?" Like the question never presents the option that they're still together and I live with both under one roof. I'd answer the question that I live with both as they have never divorced, and the response was always them being surprised by that. I mean I went to Catholic grade/high school, so I think you're going to get a much smaller rate by default there, but even with the non-Catholic kids in my neighborhood, I can only think of one whose parents were divorced. It's why I've always been shocked by that 50% statistic, because I always think "Where were all of these people?" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted June 25 Author Share Posted June 25 1 hour ago, Top Gun said: I mean I went to Catholic grade/high school, so I think you're going to get a much smaller rate by default there, but even with the non-Catholic kids in my neighborhood, I can only think of one whose parents were divorced. It's why I've always been shocked by that 50% statistic, because I always think "Where were all of these people?" Well, I'm not really saying parents....I think anyone born before the 80s are just in it for the long haul...I'm mostly talking about people my age or younger. Like if you got married after 2000, that shit seems doomed 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katt_goddess Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 12 hours ago, André Toulon said: Ok, ok...but I need to ask. Keep in mind, I'm in no way saying you're wrong that marriage is at its roots patriarchal since multiple wives is a thing in some cultures but outside of TV, I've never heard of multiple husbands BUT, I have also never seen a man say something like "I thought I'd be a husband by now" or place the ultimatum that we can't date if marriage isn't the goal. If it's so demeaning, why do women push for it so hard. It's almost the crown jewel of validation for a lot of females....yet I don't know why. In the pre-patriarchal/pre-monotheism societies, multiple 'husbands' was a thing mainly because property was often passed down the matrilineal side of things since that was the obvious parent/bloodline. It didn't matter who the father was because it was the mother that made the choice in the first place. When Angry Mountain War God tribe came storming through and started murdering any tribe they didn't like, they outlawed the old practices which basically meant anything female-in-charge had to be squished immediately. Having a harem of conquered women was acceptable because it was a way of claiming all the property of the conquered area for themselves. It also started the crap about how guys need to spread their seeds far and wide to ensure their personal tribe continues but women aren't worthy of anything but scorn if they aren't pure and property of some dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 14 hours ago, André Toulon said: Ok, ok...but I need to ask. Keep in mind, I'm in no way saying you're wrong that marriage is at its roots patriarchal since multiple wives is a thing in some cultures but outside of TV, I've never heard of multiple husbands BUT, I have also never seen a man say something like "I thought I'd be a husband by now" or place the ultimatum that we can't date if marriage isn't the goal. If it's so demeaning, why do women push for it so hard. It's almost the crown jewel of validation for a lot of females....yet I don't know why. Because they're raised to be like that 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 12 hours ago, Insipid said: I mean, you just seem to have a vendetta against the concept of marriage. I know of Indian women with highly professional careers in arranged marriages. They don't live in a nuclear household though; their inlaws or parents typically help with domestic duties. I know the situation is different with black households, so I won't comment. I will ask, how do you feel about most black Americans being born out of wedlock? Did you know in European countries where women have many rights like Iceland and France, most children are now born out of wedlock too? I don't have a vendetta, the thread is about understanding marriage and there doesn't seem to be a point to it besides patriarchal motives of control and maintaining gender roles Why did you decide to ask me this specifically and assume I am uninformed about other cultures exactly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insipid Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 Oh God. I asked cause I know you're a single black mother. The rate of European children being born out of wedlock is not common knowledge to most Americans. I've lost interest now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasqueradeOverture Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 Marriage should be illegal. As well as procreation. #CriminalizeBirth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 4 hours ago, Insipid said: Oh God. I asked cause I know you're a single black mother. The rate of European children being born out of wedlock is not common knowledge to most Americans. I've lost interest now. Of course you've lost interest now after expecting me to be the spokesperson of the black experience and unassuming what I know and do not know But yes continue be uninterested/apathetic/bored and not learn or try to do better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mthor Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 Well, at least I got good insurance out of the deal 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.