SwimModSponges Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 (edited) Hello! How long y'all think we got? My predictions- 2023- After a tumultuous battle for Speaker of the House, Jim Jordan wins in an upset. All ongoing investigations into the 45th president's illegal activities are halted immediately. All records and evidence from the investigation are sealed. Boxes are seen being loaded onto jets and flown back to Mar-a-lago. Joe Biden is impeached over his knowledge of the existence of Hunter Biden. The impeachment goes nowhere. Biden is impeached over America's departure from Afghanistan. The impeachment goes nowhere. Biden is impeached over some nebulous debacle regarding the legality of covid vaccinations. December 18- Biden spends nine hours testifying against claims from all three impeachments being literally screamed by republican congressmen. He suffers a stroke and dies on live television. Kamala Harris is sworn in as a lame duck. Meanwhile, globally. Radiation sensors in china and japan indicate that North Korea has had an accidental nuclear explosion. North Korea denies this but they halt their rocket program momentarily. In Europe, Russia continues its invasion of Ukraine, who is now considerably weaker due to America's contributions drying up in the face of Republican pro-russianism. Additionally Russia commits mass atrocities and war crimes within Ukraine and are scolded by the other European nations but America refuses to comment, especially given its own internal turmoil. 2024- Mass demonstrations are held against republican leadership whom some blame for Joe Biden's stroke. Fox News declares that his death proves that he was never fit for office, and that his death was a sign. Protests break out across the nation into the spring and summer months. A few of them turn into mass shootings as well. Kamala Harris runs for president on a campaign of "continue the legacy" whereas republicans run on a campaign of "tough on crime". Republicans gain full control of congress and presidency with Desantis. They also gain 2 supreme court justices. Globally- Putin has died and been replaced by a lackey. The invasion of Ukraine stops. Just sorta stops. Nobody is giving orders anymore, soldiers just sort of wander off. Borders return to pre-2014 invasion locations. A coup erupts in North Korea and a pro-china leader is installed 2025- The legality of marriage has been returned to the individual states to decide, along with the ability to legally obtain contraception. Feds crack down on reefer use. An act of vandalism at a power station will cause the electricity to go out in a liberal neighborhood. During the night a group of armed right-wing insurgents will go door to door killing people. Police will be investigating. It will happen again. Police will be investigating it again. Globally- Europe is flooded with climate refugees from India as the subcontinent become unlivable. China and North Korea invade eastern Russia. Europe doesn't care because fuck russia, and america doesn't care because it's only interested in the americas. Honestly Russia doesn't care, it's in shambles. 2026- America forcibly annexes portions of mexico on the pretense of fighting drug cartels. "Blackouts" are just sort of a thing that happens now, like school shootings of the 2010's. Mid-terms are suspended (woohoo no more political ads!) Right-Wing leaders come to power in europe after ranting about the "great replacement". EU dissolved. Russia is just... in the drunk, ugly crying stage right now. China, through its client state North Korea, now holds access to the Bering straight. China declares peace and the war ends. And now I've got a goddamn nosebleed. Edited January 4, 2023 by SwimModSponges Quote
Poofy Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 im not reading that you said trump would lead a successful coup he didn't it was the dumpiest coup ever and it didnt work Quote
Insipid Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 (edited) 4 hours ago, SwimModSponges said: EU dissolved Very unlikely to happen this soon, as Brexit has been an exercise in what happens when you leave. Honestly, what you all wrote reads like ghostrek being literate. Edited January 4, 2023 by Insipid 1 3 Quote
naraku360 Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 (edited) 2027 - Sponges finally goes outside and discovers there is still a lawn. He reaches his hand out to it. His hand passes through the strands of grass as if nothing were there. In desperate shock, he pounces onto the ground, swatting at the grass like a cat to a laser pointer. After an hour long sob, he is struck with a realization: He wasn't wrong. All these years, they were wrong. He won. As it turns out he never could've touched grass. Edited January 4, 2023 by naraku360 6 1 Quote
SwimModSponges Posted January 4, 2023 Author Posted January 4, 2023 Just trying to ring in the new year you guys. Geez. 1 Quote
SwimModSponges Posted January 4, 2023 Author Posted January 4, 2023 Phreelz tho, whattayall thinks the next handful of years gonna bring? Serious predictions only plz. Quote
NewBluntsworth Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 Just now, SwimModSponges said: Phreelz tho, whattayall thinks the next handful of years gonna bring? Serious predictions only plz. You paying me $100. Quote
naraku360 Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 6 hours ago, SwimModSponges said: Just trying to ring in the new year you guys. Geez. 1 Quote
katt_goddess Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 I will make a treaty with the Crow Family who will bring me random weird shiney things they find in exchange for peanuts. It will freak out the neighbors because these crows are frickin' HUGE. 3 Quote
Master-Debater131 Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 Everyone will get fucked, some people literally. Quote
The_annoying_one Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 18 minutes ago, Master-Debater131 said: Everyone will get fucked, some people literally. Cycle of life, yo. Quote
scoobdog Posted January 4, 2023 Posted January 4, 2023 50 minutes ago, Master-Debater131 said: Everyone will get fucked..,, Awwww shit…. 51 minutes ago, Master-Debater131 said: ….some people literally. So you say there is a chance… 3 Quote
André Toulon Posted January 5, 2023 Posted January 5, 2023 3 hours ago, katt_goddess said: I will make a treaty with the Crow Family who will bring me random weird shiney things they find in exchange for peanuts. It will freak out the neighbors because these crows are frickin' HUGE. Those are buzzards and that shiny shit is coming off cadavers 3 Quote
katt_goddess Posted January 6, 2023 Posted January 6, 2023 23 hours ago, André Toulon said: Those are buzzards and that shiny shit is coming off cadavers It's called recycling and that's very environmental of them. <.< >.> 3 Quote
Walter Von Moo Moo Posted February 7, 2023 Posted February 7, 2023 All this, and China wants to switch its economy back to the gold standard while Saudi Arabia ponders ditching the petro dollar in favor of accepting yuan and rubles. Quote
Lemming Posted February 16, 2023 Posted February 16, 2023 Images and statements will be broadcast visually for all Americans using a 2 step process of introduction and evaporation. A little grey and white haired weasel will be the next corporate mascot for the banning of Chinese spyware. People will recede into a contemplative state and save their money, whilst investing into only proactive and innovative company’s based on their reputation in media. The sun is going to keep talking smack about our use of animal and plant matter for a fuel source. Actually that last one was a smile… Quote
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