jackiemarie90 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 (edited) Hanging out with friends last night and having the first week of school together cleared my dam head. He clearly doesn't care about me, and is probably dreaming about "better" girls that are propped up in our capitalist society. I even brought one of my new close friends to hang out, and asked her afterwards, to which she replied, "Why are you asking me, you know you already know the answer. He clearly doesn't have any feelings for you." So yes, I was right when saying that he is just looking for a warm body to fucking dry hump. And you know, none of this would really even bother me, if he just didn't make me feel so dam shitty. Like, I get it, you don't kiss me, you don't even want to sit next to me in class, why would you be seen by such a dorky girl. So dorky she still has yu gi oh cards, various video game paraphernalia, and talks non stop about anime. I know I have crooked fucked up teeth, and sagging skin from weight loss. No one cares when we party if I get fucked up, but when he gets faded all the time I'm there help. No even cares about my fucking anxiety except the school disabilities services. lmao Stupid thing is, I probably would just fucked him with no attachment if hanging out with him didn't make feel like shit. But now, I really don't even want that, I don't want to be anywhere near a person who fucking treats me like dork girl who isn't worthy of discussion. I'm so glad I've never fucked him. He's been paranoid about that stupid Corona Virus so I told him today that I'm feeling sick and probably have it. And that he should stay the hell away from me. 🤣 Idk, I'll still be his friend, but probably won't him him staying over the night or even staying late. He doesn't even care about anime anyway, and I've been wanting to see Paprika for awhile now. So I'll watch that after studying. lol Edit: I know I said a lot of negative things about myself, but I don't actually believe those things. I think that's how people undervalue me. I also know, months later, those same people always come back, wanting me to give them another shot. But I'm so beyond the superficial bullshit I just don't care. You either thought I was cool, or you don't. And a lot of people underestimate me, but I just keep rising in my goals and pursuits. Being underestimated is a beautiful gift that makes life hilarious when I do better than those who thought I wasn't good enough. Edited January 26, 2020 by jackiemarie90 5 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 Im glad you don't believe those negative things about yourself. Fuck that guy. You're intelligent, beautiful, funny and all of your quirky hobbies and interests make you the wonderful person that you are ❤️ 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 TL;DR this for me, honey. Either way, doesn’t matter, my utilitarian approach was correct, worked, and you learned. That’s all that matters. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 26, 2020 Author Share Posted January 26, 2020 38 minutes ago, Vamped said: Im glad you don't believe those negative things about yourself. Fuck that guy. You're intelligent, beautiful, funny and all of your quirky hobbies and interests make you the wonderful person that you are ❤️ Thanks, I couldn't help but think it took a lot of work and therapy to get me to this head space that I am now. I'm completely a different person, mentally, than I was a dork in high school. After thinking, "He doesn't like you" I automatically thought, "No one likes you, who would" and caught myself. I immediately told myself, "That's not true, love yourself, respect yourself, do it for you". I know a lot of people suffer from depression, and it's hard to get out of our own negativity. But it isn't impossible either. With work, I think we can do a lot for ourselves mentally. But idk. I'mma do me. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 26, 2020 Author Share Posted January 26, 2020 20 minutes ago, lupin_bebop said: TL;DR this for me, honey. Either way, doesn’t matter, my utilitarian approach was correct, worked, and you learned. That’s all that matters. There is so much irony going on here, and I not even gonna explain it. 🤣 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 6 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: There is so much irony going on here, and I not even gonna explain it. 🤣 Chaotic Neutral here......I find your lack of faith........unassuming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 26, 2020 Author Share Posted January 26, 2020 6 minutes ago, lupin_bebop said: Chaotic Neutral here......I find your lack of faith........unassuming. Oh I know your alignment. lol I have my own way of viewing things, I'm an analytical historian in the social sciences. lol I think people think I romantize things when really I just try to find the humanity in everyone. It may lead me to give people chances that others don't deem worthy, but also I am no fool. I don't fall for people's bs, I simply let them spout it, and hope they reflect later on. Also the irony thing was slightly unrelated. XD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lupin_bebop Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 Just now, jackiemarie90 said: Oh I know your alignment. lol I have my own way of viewing things, I'm an analytical historian in the social sciences. lol I think people think I romantize things when really I just try to find the humanity in everyone. It may lead me to give people chances that others don't deem worthy, but also I am no fool. I don't fall for people's bs, I simply let them spout it, and hope they reflect later on. Also the irony thing was slightly unrelated. XD I was thinking the irony thing was about....iorns. Or money.....didn't really matter...I've been drinking. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaBarney Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 He'll fucking yeah jackee 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 26, 2020 Author Share Posted January 26, 2020 46 minutes ago, André Toulon said: I mean they're might be more stories about him, but like, I'm not gonna pursue and actually am gonna start distancing myself like I always do everyone in my life. lol Idk, I need to focus on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cau Posted January 29, 2020 Share Posted January 29, 2020 YE GRRRRL, GET IT Don't let nobody treat you as their perpetual plan B. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonSinger Posted January 29, 2020 Share Posted January 29, 2020 On 1/25/2020 at 9:38 PM, jackiemarie90 said: Hanging out with friends last night and having the first week of school together cleared my dam head. He clearly doesn't care about me, and is probably dreaming about "better" girls that are propped up in our capitalist society. I even brought one of my new close friends to hang out, and asked her afterwards, to which she replied, "Why are you asking me, you know you already know the answer. He clearly doesn't have any feelings for you." So yes, I was right when saying that he is just looking for a warm body to fucking dry hump. And you know, none of this would really even bother me, if he just didn't make me feel so dam shitty. Like, I get it, you don't kiss me, you don't even want to sit next to me in class, why would you be seen by such a dorky girl. So dorky she still has yu gi oh cards, various video game paraphernalia, and talks non stop about anime. I know I have crooked fucked up teeth, and sagging skin from weight loss. No one cares when we party if I get fucked up, but when he gets faded all the time I'm there help. No even cares about my fucking anxiety except the school disabilities services. lmao Stupid thing is, I probably would just fucked him with no attachment if hanging out with him didn't make feel like shit. But now, I really don't even want that, I don't want to be anywhere near a person who fucking treats me like dork girl who isn't worthy of discussion. I'm so glad I've never fucked him. He's been paranoid about that stupid Corona Virus so I told him today that I'm feeling sick and probably have it. And that he should stay the hell away from me. 🤣 Idk, I'll still be his friend, but probably won't him him staying over the night or even staying late. He doesn't even care about anime anyway, and I've been wanting to see Paprika for awhile now. So I'll watch that after studying. lol Edit: I know I said a lot of negative things about myself, but I don't actually believe those things. I think that's how people undervalue me. I also know, months later, those same people always come back, wanting me to give them another shot. But I'm so beyond the superficial bullshit I just don't care. You either thought I was cool, or you don't. And a lot of people underestimate me, but I just keep rising in my goals and pursuits. Being underestimated is a beautiful gift that makes life hilarious when I do better than those who thought I wasn't good enough. Fuck that dude in the unsexy way! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 It feels good knowing you could get over a guy like that. It seems like you’re doing thing right, Jackie. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarPanda Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 I dint read that but good for you man. Find yourself someone else. Best of luck on your search. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 Sooo.... you're single, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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