Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 The other day I'm looking over my to-do list when I hear a PSSST! I look up; it's my coworker. "Hey Ethan, are you a pussy?" she asks. I wasn't sure if I heard her right. "Are you a pussy?" she repeats, quieter. I think about it for a moment. "Sometimes," I say. "Why?" She motions me over. I think maybe she wants me to kill a spider so I ask how big it is. It's only when I get right up to her she says, "Will you choke me out?" "Choke you?" "I got the hiccups. Choke me out. It's how I get rid of them." I've never choked a person before, but I abide because friendship sometimes means choking a motherfucker. She places my thumbs where its effective and I press hard. Outside of my lack of concern regarding the customers walking by eyeing me as I continue, things are going okay until her arm starts twitching. She pulls away. "Well that was weird," she says. "Has that happened before?" I ask "No. Start again?" I decline. The phone rings. I return to work and watch some rando choke her as I take an order for burritos over the phone. 1 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 I feel like at my job that would be a setup and I would get called into the office with my boss, the female coworker, a VHS security tape, and a police officer all present. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mthor Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 5 minutes ago, Bouvre said: The other day I'm looking over my to-do list when I hear a PSSST! I look up; it's my coworker. "Hey Ethan, are you a pussy?" she asks. I wasn't sure if I heard her right. "Are you a pussy?" she repeats, quieter. I think about it for a moment. "Sometimes," I say. "Why?" She motions me over. I think maybe she wants me to kill a spider so I ask how big it is. It's only when I get right up to her she says, "Will you choke me out?" "Choke you?" "I got the hiccups. Choke me out. It's how I get rid of them." I've never choked a person before, but I abide because friendship sometimes means choking a motherfucker. She places my thumbs where its effective and I press hard. Outside of my lack of concern regarding the customers walking by eyeing me as I continue, things are going okay until her arm starts twitching. She pulls away. "Well that was weird," she says. "Has that happened before?" I ask "No. Start again?" I decline. The phone rings. I return to work and watch some rando choke her as I take an order for burritos over the phone. When I worked in the nursing home, I had a guy ask me to scratch his foot. The catch? He was a bilateral amputee. So I had to scratch the air right about where his foot would have been. Not as odd as your encounter, but still, I've never seen anything in the literature about phantom itching. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 (edited) Wow, so girls actually do this stuff. Once I go to a new job, provided they can't find warrants in background checks, I'll ask a new, legal age female coworker to rub my tummy because I'm having stomach paaiiinnnsss. 😦 And what will she discover? Abs of steel... 🐧 Edited August 15, 2018 by Zenigundam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 You check and make sure she even had hiccups lol i think u were just sexually harrassed 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 17 minutes ago, mthor said: When I worked in the nursing home, I had a guy ask me to scratch his foot. The catch? He was a bilateral amputee. So I had to scratch the air right about where his foot would have been. Not as odd as your encounter, but still, I've never seen anything in the literature about phantom itching. Seems like a pretty logical extension of the phenomenon. Did it relieve the itch? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 1 minute ago, fuggstop said: You check and make sure she even had hiccups lol i think u were just sexually harrassed Haha nah she was hiccuping like crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 10 minutes ago, Zenigundam said: Wow, so girls actually do this stuff. Once I go to a new job, provided they can't find warrants in background checks, I'll ask a new, legal age female coworker to rub my tummy because I'm having stomach paaiiinnnsss. 😦 And what will she discover? Abs of steel... 🐧 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaBarney Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 Real hiccup cure is a spoonful of mustard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opium Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 I'll give ya something to choke, pal, and you best be a pussy cause I ain't no gay fella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 12 minutes ago, Nabloom said: Real hiccup cure is a spoonful of mustard Mine is raising my arms over my head and breathing in and out slowly but deeply. Gets rid of them instantaneously for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 5 minutes ago, Opium said: I'll give ya something to choke, pal, and you best be a pussy cause I ain't no gay fella You'll always be gay in spirit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cau Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 I'm so wet right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewn Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 Wtf? What a freaky betch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewn Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 29 minutes ago, Nabloom said: Real hiccup cure is a spoonful of mustard Ah, spoonful of sugar and a glass of water is what my grandma would tell me And it always worked so I never questioned it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 8 minutes ago, Cau said: I'm so wet right now. Your body is a slip n slide. Which is coincidentally my favorite John Mayer song 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, Mewn said: Wtf? What a freaky betch We all have to be a freaky betch once in a while. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewn Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 Just now, Bouvre said: We all have to be a freaky betch once in a while. Dis is true, but there's a time and a place 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 1 minute ago, Mewn said: Dis is true, but there's a time and a place What better time and place than a min wage job? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cau Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 3 minutes ago, Bouvre said: Your body is a slip n slide. Which is coincidentally my favorite John Mayer song Choke Me Out is my favorite Ceasar's Palace song. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 Just now, Cau said: Choke Me Out is my favorite Ceasar's Palace song. I sense a mash-up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cau Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 Just now, Bouvre said: I sense a mash-up If I had any sort of talent with anything I'd make it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mewn Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 8 minutes ago, Bouvre said: What better time and place than a min wage job? I stand corrected. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mthor Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Bouvre said: Seems like a pretty logical extension of the phenomenon. Did it relieve the itch? Yes, it did. That was back when I was in high school, and, despite the thousands of patients that I've taken care of since then, I've never had anybody else with phantom itching. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opium Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Bouvre said: You'll always be gay in spirit. In that case you better watch your ass when u die cause I'm coming for it big time. In the afterlife no one can hear you clench 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 15, 2018 Author Share Posted August 15, 2018 18 minutes ago, Opium said: In that case you better watch your ass when u die cause I'm coming for it big time. In the afterlife no one can hear you clench If anybody hears me clench it's because there's so much fluid between my cheeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opium Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 1 minute ago, Bouvre said: If anybody hears me clench it's because there's so much fluid between my cheeks. I'll stop by a shop and pick up some baby wipes and a good Tom Hanks movie we can watch after I wipe you down and load you up 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 3 hours ago, Bouvre said: The other day I'm looking over my to-do list when I hear a PSSST! I look up; it's my coworker. "Hey Ethan, are you a pussy?" she asks. I wasn't sure if I heard her right. "Are you a pussy?" she repeats, quieter. I think about it for a moment. "Sometimes," I say. "Why?" She motions me over. I think maybe she wants me to kill a spider so I ask how big it is. It's only when I get right up to her she says, "Will you choke me out?" "Choke you?" "I got the hiccups. Choke me out. It's how I get rid of them." I've never choked a person before, but I abide because friendship sometimes means choking a motherfucker. She places my thumbs where its effective and I press hard. Outside of my lack of concern regarding the customers walking by eyeing me as I continue, things are going okay until her arm starts twitching. She pulls away. "Well that was weird," she says. "Has that happened before?" I ask "No. Start again?" I decline. The phone rings. I return to work and watch some rando choke her as I take an order for burritos over the phone. i think u kinda got taken advantage of sexually 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrigunBebop Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 This really does sound like you might have been sexually harassed. O_o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 3 hours ago, Poof said: i think u kinda got taken advantage of sexually 14 minutes ago, TrigunBebop said: This really does sound like you might have been sexually harassed. O_o Were this the case, which I doubt: Meh. Could've been worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggstop Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Yah cuz theres no reason why she couldn't choke herself. Bish extra. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 9 minutes ago, fuggstop said: Yah cuz theres no reason why she couldn't choke herself. Bish extra. It might cause additional tension to do it for one's self, that makes getting rid of the hiccups difficult. But as somebody who doesn't try choking myself to get rid of hiccups, that's not a well-established theory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distortedreasoning Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 man i would have just said fuck it i aint paid enough for this shit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted August 16, 2018 Author Share Posted August 16, 2018 6 minutes ago, Distortedreasoning said: man i would have just said fuck it i aint paid enough for this shit. I'm glad I got a good story out of it, at least. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 I love that after seeing this post, I kinda want to answer yes anytime anyone would ask me this question. lol Also there is always drinking water upside down. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarPanda Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 This was great storytelling I need to hear more 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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