My wonderful mother in law.

[crackymckrackin]

She's invited people to come see my house today. She called about an hour ago to let us know. They will be here at 11. We leave for the funeral at 11. As an added bonus she said we can make them coffee and snacks to eat while we all catch up. All times are central. Now to hide our filth and shame so as not to dishonor our family.

[Clu]

Have you considered matricide?

[crackymckrackin]

Just now, Clu said:

Have you considered matricide?

Many many times.......today.

[Clu]

I watched throw momma from the train this morning and I think I have an idea that could benefit both of us. Meet me in that place where we first met.

[crackymckrackin]

1 minute ago, Clu said:

I watched throw momma from the train this morning and I think I have an idea that could benefit both of us. Meet me in that place where we first met.

Right after this funeral.

[Clu]

That was a different movie.

[crackymckrackin]

Just now, Clu said:

That was a different movie.

It's been roughly 10 years since I've seen that movie. 

[Opium]

Was hoping this was a topic about banging mother-in-laws.

[Drunkenwarrior]

DId you try telling her no?

[Clu]

13 minutes ago, Drunkenwarrior said:

DId you try telling her no?

You've never had a mother in law.

[Drunkenwarrior]

1 minute ago, Clu said:

You've never had a mother in law.

modern marriage eh?

 

In a rational world we'd eat people like that

[crackymckrackin]

Just now, Drunkenwarrior said:

modern marriage eh?

 

In a rational world we'd eat people like that

Im thinking about moving again.

[Drunkenwarrior]

4 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

Im thinking about moving again.

GO build a house in the mountains

 

Become Grizzly Adams

[Still Me]

1 hour ago, crackymckrackin said:

She's invited people to come see my house today. She called about an hour ago to let us know. They will be here at 11. We leave for the funeral at 11. As an added bonus she said we can make them coffee and snacks to eat while we all catch up. All times are central. Now to hide our filth and shame so as not to dishonor our family.

Seppuku?

[DragonSinger]

2 hours ago, crackymckrackin said:

She's invited people to come see my house today. She called about an hour ago to let us know. They will be here at 11. We leave for the funeral at 11. As an added bonus she said we can make them coffee and snacks to eat while we all catch up. All times are central. Now to hide our filth and shame so as not to dishonor our family.

Why are y'all such mouthy mofos online but wussies off the computer?

[tsar4]

 

[crackymckrackin]

50 minutes ago, SorceressPol said:

Why are y'all such mouthy mofos online but wussies off the computer?

You married?

[Misaka]

4 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

You married?

Nope

[DragonSinger]

30 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

You married?

No, but I'm surrounded by happily married friends who all have well set boundaries with their in-laws, especially when it comes to big things like giving little to no notice about house visitors. Admittedly, most of their parents are chill and not everyone has family who are that considerate. But still.......WUSSY!

[Still Me]

7 minutes ago, SorceressPol said:

No, but I'm surrounded by happily married friends who all have well set boundaries with their in-laws, especially when it comes to big things like giving little to no notice about house visitors. Admittedly, most of their parents are chill and not everyone has family who are that considerate. But still.......WUSSY!

Mighty big claims from someone who’s single...

[DragonSinger]

18 minutes ago, Still Me said:

Mighty big claims from someone who’s single...

Yup, I'm single but will eventually have my shit together to have more independence and start thinking about a long term relationship again. In the meantime, I take advantage of the fact that I have access to a large group of people with steady marriages and store mental notes on how they do it. 

[crackymckrackin]

1 hour ago, SorceressPol said:

Yup, I'm single but will eventually have my shit together to have more independence and start thinking about a long term relationship again. In the meantime, I take advantage of the fact that I have access to a large group of people with steady marriages and store mental notes on how they do it. 

Not even close to the same. You only see what they want you to see. 

[DragonSinger]

1 hour ago, crackymckrackin said:

Not even close to the same. You only see what they want you to see. 

None of us thinking there's a point in a concept like that is probably why we do so much oversharing. 

[katt_goddess]

Cracky is just cranky because he had to find pants today.

[Vamped]

Sounds like a good time to leave all of the freshly washed dildos on the counter by the fridge 

[Raptorpat]

my mother comes here like every other day to do laundry because their machine is broke

[tsar4]

2 minutes ago, Adminderaptorpat said:

my mother comes here like every other day to do laundry because their machine is broke

Thought you were going to say she comes here every other day to troll zeni.

[crackymckrackin]

28 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Sounds like a good time to leave all of the freshly washed dildos on the counter by the fridge 

She wouldn't know what they were.

[crackymckrackin]

9 minutes ago, Adminderaptorpat said:

my mother comes here like every other day to do laundry because their machine is broke

Might need to buy her a new washer.

[Raptorpat]

she's waiting because she wants to replace the floor with tile, except she isn't doing that

[Vamped]

18 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

She wouldn't know what they were.

She has to have seen a dick before or you would not have a wife 

[crackymckrackin]

39 minutes ago, Vamped said:

She has to have seen a dick before or you would not have a wife 

I wonder sometimes. 

[crackymckrackin]

57 minutes ago, Adminderaptorpat said:

she's waiting because she wants to replace the floor with tile, except she isn't doing that

A good son would have already done that for her.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

1 hour ago, katt_goddess said:

Cracky is just cranky because he had to find pants today.

........Are you saying cracky was planning on going to the funeral pantsless?

[crackymckrackin]

2 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

........Are you saying cracky was planning on going to the funeral pantsless?

You don't?

[Raptorpat]

7 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

A good son would have already done that for her.

duly noted

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

1 minute ago, crackymckrackin said:

You don't?

I know this is going to get my IB card revoked.... but I always wear pants (or shorts). Showering is the only exception.

[crackymckrackin]

Just now, Adminderaptorpat said:

duly noted

When my mother in law breaks something which is constantly,  she comes to my house to get me. Since I primarily work in my home office that means I do nothing all day and am available. She literally sits across from my desk and stares at me until I go do the thing.

[DragonSinger]

14 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

When my mother in law breaks something which is constantly,  she comes to my house to get me. Since I primarily work in my home office that means I do nothing all day and am available. She literally sits across from my desk and stares at me until I go do the thing.

Do you owe her a shit load of money? Because that's the only rational reason I can think of to let that behavior go unchecked.

[Raptorpat]

When my mother comes here sometimes I come home from work to find she cleaned or organized something to kill the half hour the laundry runs.

[death_by_motorboat]

12 hours ago, crackymckrackin said:

She's invited people to come see my house today. She called about an hour ago to let us know. They will be here at 11. We leave for the funeral at 11. As an added bonus she said we can make them coffee and snacks to eat while we all catch up. All times are central. Now to hide our filth and shame so as not to dishonor our family.

did she arrange any of it with you?  does she talk directly to you or do you hear everything through your wife?  is your wife a member here?

i guess you can handle guests, wait... how dirty?

[crackymckrackin]

1 hour ago, SorceressPol said:

Do you owe her a shit load of money? Because that's the only rational reason I can think of to let that behavior go unchecked.

Nope.

[crackymckrackin]

44 minutes ago, Adminderaptorpat said:

When my mother comes here sometimes I come home from work to find she cleaned or organized something to kill the half hour the laundry runs.

Well naturally. 

[crackymckrackin]

42 minutes ago, mumbo13 said:

did she arrange any of it with you?  does she talk directly to you or do you hear everything through your wife?  is your wife a member here?

i guess you can handle guests, wait... how dirty?

Nope she just called out of the blue this morning.  My dog destroys his toys so we had to clean up his mess. Other than a random dog hair tumble weed the house stays pretty clean.

[Dark_Chii]

13 hours ago, crackymckrackin said:

She's invited people to come see my house today. She called about an hour ago to let us know. They will be here at 11. We leave for the funeral at 11. As an added bonus she said we can make them coffee and snacks to eat while we all catch up. All times are central. Now to hide our filth and shame so as not to dishonor our family.

How sweet of them to allow you guys to make them coffee and snacks. How did all that go? Sorry for your loss, by the way.
You should have cut really thin slices of cheese, but only around 12 slices with crackers.

[crackymckrackin]

2 minutes ago, Dark_Chii said:

How sweet of them to allow you guys to make them coffee and snacks. How did all that go? Sorry for your loss, by the way.
You should have cut really thin slices of cheese, but only around 12 slices with crackers.

It went pretty good. They did the super fast rushed tour then left. The funeral lasted the rest of the day. We only use the fanciest sliced individually wrapped great value cheese for our honoured guests.

[Dark_Chii]

39 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

It went pretty good. They did the super fast rushed tour then left. The funeral lasted the rest of the day. We only use the fanciest sliced individually wrapped great value cheese for our honoured guests.

I hope it's the sandwich cheese that are individually wrapped in plastic. An added bonus would be to have all TVs playing The Star Wars Holiday Special.