fuggnificent Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I am writing because I am concerned about my aunt, Mary Etta. She is 66 years old and has been seeing a 28 year old man since around 2009. This man lives with her and he does not have a job or contribute to the bills. He is manipulative and refuses to work. He argues with her and her children and strains her relationships with her children and the rest of our family. My aunt has said that she wants him to leave but he will not leave. We feel as if this man, by the name of Earl, is using my Aunt so he does not have to work. He has sold many of my aunts possessions. He keeps their home messy. Not only does he not pay for anything he has bought in his friend to also live with my aunt. His friend sometimes contributes. The reason I am now writing after all these years is now Earl has bought his mother into my aunts house to live. My aunt barely has any money and lives off food stamps. She is also on dialysis. There is no way she can support Earl, Earl's friend and now Earl's mother. I am very concerned about her and I hope that Dr. Phil can talk some sense into her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rilkean_heart Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I hope so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnmjy Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 What the hell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 You don't have to drag such a problem onto national television... I mean you could. Maybe he could help you, but I doubt his concern or interest would be at all genuine. Like I said before he airs people's dirty laundry on national television for his own personal benefit (e.g. money and fame), and is not even a licensed therapist anymore. A reasonable alternative would be to get your ailing aunt to declare you or your mother, whichever could handle being the responsible one as Power of Attorney. Specifically, she would need to sign a POA that gave you or your mother the right to handle financial affairs, granted this is big responsibility and should not be undertaken if you do not have confidence in your ability to exercise it wisely. It also requires her to agree to it and to trust you or whoever she signs it for to have such a power. If you have a Power of Attorney signed by your aunt which grants power over financial affairs specifically, you would be able to file a legal eviction notice against him, his mother, his friend, or whatever another bum is causing her issues. Note, be prepared if you go this legal route that it could cause issues. You should definitely not attempt to do this without getting a consultation from a lawyer if you do some googling you could probably find one that either works on commission or does consultations for free. Don't just rush into this, as it could possibly cause drama, and you need to specifically make sure that she actually wants him gone but just doesn't have the ability or will to make him leave. This is just an alternative for you to consider, I seriously hope your Aunts condition improves Fuggs. You are a sweetheart for being concerned and wanting to help an elderly relative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Quick start for you: http://estate.findlaw.com/planning-an-estate/durable-financial-power-of-attorney.html I have not read this thoroughly so please read and proceed carefully on your own. But it looks like the specific type you would need is a "Durable Financial Power of Attorney" signed by your Aunt, which means you need to talk to her about this in detail and make sure that she wants your help in removing him and helping with financial problems. POA also gives you the right to act on someone's behalf in the case of them becoming mentally unstable such as her developing dementia or alzheimer's disease, or in the event they have to be put on life support, etc... This could also allow you to prevent any claims that guy could try to make on anything she leaves behind that could be inherited, e.g. he claims the inheritance of her house, is awarded the deed then kicks her children to the curb (that sort of thing). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilosipherStoned Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 The sex must be pretty good or something.. Two words: Restraining Order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 The sex must be pretty good or something.. Two words: Restraining Order. lol she has said she likes the dick but i bet he hasnt touched her in years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 No Dr. Phillies will help you <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katt_goddess Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Whatever route you go, get them out of her house. Immediately. It sounds like they are setting things up for a squatter situation where something is going to happen to your aunt and there will be all these other people already living in the home who are all related to each other or close friends with each other. By the time you can get them legally evicted, they'll have completely trashed the place and made it unlivable for anyone else just because they can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrek Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I am writing because I am concerned about my aunt, Mary Etta. She is 66 years old and has been seeing a 28 year old man since around 2009. This man lives with her and he does not have a job or contribute to the bills. He is manipulative and refuses to work. He argues with her and her children and strains her relationships with her children and the rest of our family. My aunt has said that she wants him to leave but he will not leave. We feel as if this man, by the name of Earl, is using my Aunt so he does not have to work. He has sold many of my aunts possessions. He keeps their home messy. Not only does he not pay for anything he has bought in his friend to also live with my aunt. His friend sometimes contributes. The reason I am now writing after all these years is now Earl has bought his mother into my aunts house to live. My aunt barely has any money and lives off food stamps. She is also on dialysis. There is no way she can support Earl, Earl's friend and now Earl's mother. I am very concerned about her and I hope that Dr. Phil can talk some sense into her. god luck jeuese crist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Whatever route you go, get them out of her house. Immediately. It sounds like they are setting things up for a squatter situation where something is going to happen to your aunt and there will be all these other people already living in the home who are all related to each other or close friends with each other. By the time you can get them legally evicted, they'll have completely trashed the place and made it unlivable for anyone else just because they can. katt_goddess[/member] This is a good point, would probably need to get a restraining order or something as well to see an immediate change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 It's too late for the daytime talk show circus. You need to get those people out of that house one way or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katt_goddess Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 katt_goddess[/member] This is a good point, would probably need to get a restraining order or something as well to see an immediate change. I've read about this sort of thing happening. I think it was in some case law crap or something. Basically someone, usually younger, moves in with someone, usually older and there are often medical concerns or the potential for medical concerns. Eventually you end up with more people connected to the younger person either moving in too or becoming extremely close to the original person. The original person either ends up writing that person into the lease or will or whatever or something occurs where the original person ends up disappearing, dying, or ending up for an extended period in a hospital or home to recover and the person who moved in takes over. Different states have different laws when it comes to squatters but the longer someone has been living in a place, the harder it is to get them out. The eviction process in ND itself allows for no less than 30 full days after notice before an actual allowable action can be taken. And that's just the rental side of things. So-called significant others that are together until something bad happens are a whole other kettle of fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 It's too late for the daytime talk show circus. You need to get those people out of that house one way or another. scoobdog[/member] If what she described is accurate, do you think that could be considered domestic abuse of some type? That could potentially speed up the process of removal or at least get the police involved faster. Though I still think a POA and combination of the restraining order should be investigated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I've read about this sort of thing happening. I think it was in some case law crap or something. Basically someone, usually younger, moves in with someone, usually older and there are often medical concerns or the potential for medical concerns. Eventually you end up with more people connected to the younger person either moving in too or becoming extremely close to the original person. The original person either ends up writing that person into the lease or will or whatever or something occurs where the original person ends up disappearing, dying, or ending up for an extended period in a hospital or home to recover and the person who moved in takes over. Different states have different laws when it comes to squatters but the longer someone has been living in a place, the harder it is to get them out. The eviction process in ND itself allows for no less than 30 full days after notice before an actual allowable action can be taken. And that's just the rental side of things. So-called significant others that are together until something bad happens are a whole other kettle of fish. This is exactly the scenario I was thinking about and talking about as well though you stated it better I think. You think a Power of Attorney and/or a restraining order would help her, or do you think there is something more immediate she could do to extricate those bumms from her elderly aunt's house? I mean that if she got a restraining order at the same time or before getting an eviction through POA they would have to leave immediately wouldn't they or risk being arrested? I'm also concerned specifically about the will thing, if he's been living with her for several years things like common law marriage might come into the picture and complicate things, even more, depending on the State... whole situation just sounds really bad and dangerous, especially if those people retaliate and get violent or vandalize shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 My mom has power of attorney. just a regular one, i think. when my aunt was in the hospital my cousin went and kicked them all out. nothing she can do if he makes it in her will, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 scoobdog[/member] If what she described is accurate, do you think that could be considered domestic abuse of some type? That could potentially speed up the process of removal or at least get the police involved faster. Though I still think a POA and combination of the restraining order should be investigated. You would have to demonstrate abuse, such as the aunt being neglected, showing signs of physical violence, or a demonstrative proof she's being emotionally abuse in order to get a restraining order. That's a taller order than it sounds, particularly if she's not a willing party to the removal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 My mom has power of attorney. just a regular one, i think. when my aunt was in the hospital my cousin went and kicked them all out. nothing she can do if he makes it in her will, though. You should try to convince her to let your Mom have them evicted or file a restraining order on her behalf then if you think it is a serious problem (which from the sounds of it probably is). Also highly recommend that at some point you or your mom help her make a written will just in case. If she's on dialysis anything could happen, it's better that her family not get screwed out of shit by some random freeloaders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 My mom has power of attorney. just a regular one, i think. when my aunt was in the hospital my cousin went and kicked them all out. nothing she can do if he makes it in her will, though. At the risk of going nuclear, there may be a point where someone has to declare your aunt incompetent before she has a chance to modify her will. But, it's less about losing a house and more about protecting your aunt personally from these people. The bigger danger of her adding them to the will means she might have her well being in danger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 she says shes afraid he'll become violent if she kicked him out. its all really sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 You would have to demonstrate abuse, such as the aunt being neglected, showing signs of physical violence, or a demonstrative proof she's being emotionally abuse in order to get a restraining order. That's a taller order than it sounds, particularly if she's not a willing party to the removal. Well Fugg's op did mention that it sounded like she didn't want them there but they wouldn't leave, I'm assuming she either doesn't have the energy or ability to actually kick them out or is afraid of serious retaliation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 she says shes afraid he'll become violent if she kicked him out. its all really sad. Then a restraining order is definitely in order. She has you two to protect her, so she doesn't have to stay in the house while the order is in effect, and then the police are free to evict them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 she says shes afraid he'll become violent if she kicked him out. its all really sad. If you can get physical proof of their living conditions or him being an abusive ass via picture video or documents such as bills or anything it would probably be a good idea to hold on to those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandstone Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Then a restraining order is definitely in order. She has you two to protect her, so she doesn't have to stay in the house while the order is in effect, and then the police are free to evict them. This is probably the best possible option, there is no 100% guarantee everything will be ok, but this has the highest probability of a good outcome for sure. And it sounds like if your Aunt remains in that environment she is going to be in serious danger if she is not already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 The order itself offers no protection. But, it gives the police the leverage to start evicting people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katt_goddess Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 My mom has power of attorney. just a regular one, i think. when my aunt was in the hospital my cousin went and kicked them all out. nothing she can do if he makes it in her will, though. But they got back in. So there's a good possibility that they might be thinking of ways to stay in the next time there's a medical issue. If there is another medical issue and y'all can kick them out again, change the locks and box whatever crap is theirs so they have zero reason to be in the house again. And don't let them in without police supervision on premises. If he makes it into the will, you still have a couple of options. One is attempt to prove the will was written or changed to include him [and / or any of his family and friends] under duress. The other is proving she is / was incompis mentis - of unsound mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katt_goddess Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 she says shes afraid he'll become violent if she kicked him out. its all really sad. Red flag right there. Love is not violence. He and mommy and his butt-buddy got ta go. -.-; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mthor Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 I don't know what it would be in your state, but here we have the Office of the Aging - it's kind of like CPS for senior citizens. They may have suggestions as to what you can do if you suspect that she's being abused or exploited in any way, including financially. They may even be able to go in and do some kind of home assessment. Plus, you'll have your complaint on file with a government agency for when future problems arise. The only problem is that if your aunt is legally competent, she has the right to refuse any assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death_by_motorboat Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 That a joke right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death_by_motorboat Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Plot Twist:. There never was a aunt Mary Etta. Earl and his family just ate too much acid and Hallucinated the whole thing trying to gain Redneck street cred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still Me Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 probably not...don’t wanna be called white trash for making private shit public....you can just hang and be depressed with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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