garbagepailcat

Jerking off with shampoo habitually will make you cum blood. Be safe out there.

I have a boxer, and boxers are notoriously loud farters. Like, there’s an audible squeak that comes out of her butthole. Anyway, my dog just got scared of her own fart.

DIDNT GET IT

@Cau, you can have a sweet place to stay in Georgia sometimes.

Catholicism is so fucking weird.

Nah girl, I’m white trash, not southern aristocracy. Thanks for the voodoo.

Put in an offer on a house I really, really like. It’s close to the big city for work but not too far from family. It’s new and not falling to pieces (which pleases the husboy). So far we’ve had shit luck, so I’m not going to get my hopes up. But if y’all want to make a sacrifice to the realty gods or something, idk. It might help. I just want somewhere to live, y’all. It shouldn’t be this hard. Seller’s market. Blah blah. SELL ME A HOUSE.

It was really aesthetically pleasing.

I found something. Send joint.

My fiancé uses a really nice beard oil. It makes his face smell so good and feel super soft and silky all day. He also carries a comb in pocket to keep it clean and laying down correctly.

I’m certain that there are local people that would feel the same way, but I will personally take your cat if it comes down to it. 100% serious.

Diaper baby

Lol

Nah, he’s pretty gay. I like it though.

Like three cats

HE’S A SWEET BOY. Unicorn emojis and all.

I don’t think it is. He said “made love,” so if anything, it’s double embarrassing.

It’s a disaster.

She said, “well, that is part of a healthy relationship, but you sent that to your mother. Lol. I won’t say another word.” But now she thinks her son cums quick.

My fiancé always sends me sweet good morning texts once he makes it to work. He accidentally sent this morning’s text to his mother. I’m sick to my stomach.

We go play in a mud hole.

This looks so nice and normal. My Mamaw would think you have a lovely home.

baby me

Grocery shopping, lots of laundry, and house hunting. I’m getting real fuckin domestic over here.

I like double chocolate chip. but it does happen, like you said. Take some cranberry pills. They’re better than the juice.