OH GOOD! You're the King, huh? I've been trying to figure out who to send my complaints to for quite some time.
Number A) Why do all of you talk funny? Seriously, depending on what region of the North I'm in I sometimes think I've accidentally crossed the border and am now talking to Canadian citizens.
Number B) Why haven't you cast New Jersey off into the sea yet to a sacrificial meal for Cthulhu?
Number C) They're called "Water Fountains" not "Bubblers". I don't know who came up with the term "Bubbler" but water fountains are a continuous stream and produce zero bubbles.