EmpressAngel

They put him on a cake, which is just saving time by combining two things I want in my mouth.

Todoroki's not playing.

SURPRISE HE'S BUFF AS SHIT.

This is also a property that spent millions of dollars on this. I think they're gonna be fine.

I laughed really hard.

Gen Lock- Not the time for jokes now, buddy. I like this wacky scientist guy. Oh is he s a cyborg now? Oh, cool. I know I've seen this kind of mecha-mind thing somewhere else but I don't remember where. I wonder how long he spent making this fancy PowerPoint. Go talk to your girlfriend, dude. Yikes there's only half of him in there. He's stuck in the fish bowl forever I guess. I'd be way too dumb to take care of any of this so good luck, mustache dude. Hi new people. That girl has some kind of tiny robot kitten sidekick and I love it. I guess that guy knows English but can't speak it. So can she fuck the hologram or what. Oh, I guess not. Surely this will end well. No wonder he's the spy he's the blandest man I've ever seen. Whelp, y'all fucked that up. KNIFE. Can't shoot a hologram, fucker! Goddammit science man. Dr Science is my favorite character so far. Heee he's the robot now. No don't break his tank. In no way will this come back to bite that guy right in the ass. Oh look, you're dead now. Fire Force- I don't think I like this universe's Dandy. You leave buff captain alone you bastard. Titties. I like the mascots. Eyepatch grandpa has arrived. Dude he's not gonna remember one fire when it happens every damn week. Oh my god just close your shirt you dumbass. I kinda hate this girl already. Try not to kill that guy. Aw crap. Yeah sure go ahead and trust what this guy says. Oh what the hell. Whelp, you're screwed. Wow what a shock I never expected his brother's alive. HERO DEVIL. I like it when heroes just tell the villain to fuck off and ignore everything they say. Fanservice girl's single trait of being fansevice is getting real old already. Whelp, they're gonna die. Just let her fall, eyepatch grandpa. Hiii captain. So uh did they win? Oh yeah they're definitely hiding shit. Can I also volunteer for midnight guard duty with the captain? It seems real counterproductive to not share information among each other. Our motive is just to be hot and buff. God this man is doomed. Lupin- Last time, Lupin died. Speedboat Jigen, go! Yeah shoot at Goemon that'll work. YEET. Y'all might wanna get Lupin to a hospital now. The hell? I have no idea what just happened. Flashback, go! I don't know how young Lupin's supposed to be when he looks exactly the same. Oh that's good, he's recovering in a filthy sewer. SNAKE. Those are some fangs on that lady. No seriously, who the hell are these people. Automail. Mmm delicious snake meat. So what are they brothers? You can't just steal France! And then shit blew up. I feel like it was probably a bad idea to write down an extensive list of all the shady shit you've done for decades. Window, go! And then Lupin killed a bunch of dudes. There's something really funny about Goemon putting on a helmet after all this. Oh he's gonna be bleeding out. Don't let her near your dick. Is it time to fake your death again? Oh you dick. Is it Fujiko, is Flashback Fuji after the same diamond. GUN. I'm sure this plan will go off without a hitch. Lupin you're awfully confident dealing with a dude who just shot you multiple times and left you for dead. Food Wars- I'm too old for this shit. CHAINSAW. I do like chickens. Why are you naked. I miss his hot dad. I'm hungry. Dimestore Josuke is depressed. MANLY. Hold up, is this a character who's not fucking intolerable? WHY DO HER TITS MAKE AUDIABLE PUDDING NOISES. There are so many jokes I could make about her status as Meat Master but this show isn't worth it. Meat and rice, that's not a vague enough description to go off of. This jiggling is just painfully excessive and unfunny, and I say that as someone who literally gets distracted by my own tits. How the fuck are you gonna help, you're the worst student in the school. Ha, his hair is bandaged. I could go for some meat right now. "Can you really beat such incredible meat?" I have nothing to complain about, that line was gold. Dad wants you to starve and I don't blame him. If you bring out that squid thing again I'm going to kill you. Alright that actually does sound pretty good. I kinda hate that I genuinely laughed at "CAN WE BEAT HER MEAT?" Clover- Okay, a filler episode where Charmy is tripping balls sounds a lot better than the actual show. This is infinitely better than canon. God help me, I actually laughed at this. It turns out that the key to making Black Clover a decent show is just to turn it into Pop Team Epic. No fuck you don't go back to the real plot. Hero- Hello there, new guy? Oh shit is that Twice? I love that everyone hates garbage dilf. It kinda worries me that people are searching up Endeavor's kids. Meanwhile, shit going down. Is that a sea captain hero? Whelp, that guy's dead. Haaa, Reservoir Dogs. Aw shit he's going crazy. Dabi's probably off setting people on fire. And then Dabi set a bunch of people on fire. Oh, that's a horrifying backstory. Twice needs a hug. Who's this edgelord plague mask douche? I got a bad feeling about this guy. And now we switch to my wholesome children. Shut up douche Rogue. Awww she's adorable. Oh hey tired boy. I goddamn love Principal Mouse. I'm sure these new kids won't be important. Hound Dog is best teacher. Nah I don't think these work studies will be important. Calm down sweetie. Present Mic appearing from behind the door is unreasonably funny to me. IIda doing the Deku voice. What. And then Vault Boy was here. Calm down, kiddo. Damn, Tin Tin's got some meat on those arms. S-Sasuke?

Commence the memes.

I guess over a billion dollars of profit counts as broke now.

I think it's willfully ignorant to blame it entirely on the movie when Disney has a decades-long track record of shooting themselves in the foot with their theme park launches.

Okay but the theme park area is barely related to the new trilogy aside from having a few Meet & Greets with the characters. They made the stupid decision to set it in a brand new planet that has no basis in canon instead of any of the places that fans are already familiar with. The headline attraction is a Millennium Falcon ride that's more tied to the original trilogy than the sequels from what I've heard. Also, this shit happens with Disney parks damn near every time they open something big. They overhype it as a huge event that's guaranteed to draw hundreds of thousands of people for the grand opening, and that scares off a lot customers. It happened with Disneyland Paris, Hong Kong Disneyland, California Adventure, and now Galaxy's Edge. Their mistake was assuming that people love Star Wars enough to put up with what they assumed would be even worse than normal Disney crowds, and clearly those people took one look at that idea and said "Nah, I'll wait."

Punish me next, you exhausted motherfucker. I mean, what.

GenLock- I agree, cookies make everything better. I like his sister. I got a real bad feeling that one of them is going to die. I like these idiots already and that never bodes well for anyone. Oh no. Please don't shoot the innocent bystanders. If Independence Day taught us anything, it's that you can solve any airfight by sacrificing a single drunk redneck who needs to redeem himself in the eyes of his estranged children. Oh I don't like where this is going. Whelp. NO YOU IDIOT DON'T DO IT. Okay when I said one of them was gonna die I didnt' think it would be this early. This is not my fault. Timeskip ahoy. I kinda love this giant dork. Scotland intensifies. I like his robot friend. This rescue mission is obviously going to go wrong. Oh look, the rescue mission is going wrong. YOLO, MOTHERFUCKER. Oh shit, he ain't dead? Never trust a mecha spider. And now he's Cyborg. So what kinda dick does he got now. Okay I'm digging this. Fire Force- And now another dude I'm definitely gonna get killed. Welcome to Soul Eater. Sports festival arc, go! I find it hilarious that he has to wear capri pants at all times to avoid setting himself on fire. Calcifer! Oh that thing is adorable. Sputter? I dislike this guy already. Bitches be crazy, Shinra. CALCIFER NO. Kick his ass, glasses guy. Kick his ass, Maki! Maki is my girlfriend. EXCALIBUUUUUR, EXCALIBUUUUR. She's my wife and I'm going to kill you. Sputter? Helloooo witch Maki. Bobobobobobobo? Noooo stop killing the adorable fire babies. I also like things extra firm, Captain. GUNAXE. That's a light saber. Someone hug that girl. Yes murder the shit out of that fire ghost as gently as you can. Fuck you kids, do what your hot boss says. Ohhh I am gonna get this guy killed by the end of the season. Aw shit who the hell is this. I got a real bad feeling about this. Well at least he seems friendly? Well this is depressing. Aw fuck what now. Please don't kill him I love him. Wow, this guy has the most punchable face I've seen in a long time. Please date me. Shut up and go back to the captain. I'm liking this show more than I expected. Lupin- Sorry I almost shot you, old dude. Noooo one lies like Gaston, swindles guys like Gaston, no one sets up mysteries and dies like Gaston. Grandpa here is high as fuck. False alarm, he's just got super eyes. Is that you, Da Vinci? I don't know where this whole thing is going but this ride sure is fun. MY BAR. Why is Goemon having a phone so funny to me. IT'S HIGH NOON. Sorry grandpa you're on your own here. What just happened why did I just see a man get shot by a gay rodeo clown? How is he alive and also so chill right now. Ohhh, now this is starting to make sense. And then he died. Those are some great disguises. Lupin has run clean out of fucks to give. Howdy, hoes. I am so confused by Lupin in hot lady disguises. Oh hey Goemon. Awww the kids like him. He is worse at phones than my parents. This ain't gonna end well. WHAT. Hey Jigen this would be a good time to show up and help. Wow he fucked up real hard on this one didn't he. Whelp, show's over. Food Wars- Yes you dumbass he literally just said he was on the council. I miss his hot dad. I don't even remember this other boy being there. Still insisting that was juice, huh. No, tell this disgusting fuck to cover his balls in the kitchen. Sanji intensifies. Can we visit his hot dad again? It's just fish and rice it's not worth an orgasm. Bros continue to be the least terrible. I'm still concerned about you waving your dick around all the food, you lunatic. I feel old. I hate her. BUNNY. I do like Granny. Welcome to Iron Chef. This show still does not know how jackets fit on boobs and it's not sexy. She really is the fucking worst. I don't care, show. Hippos are adorable. No seriously, are we supposed to not wish she'd get hit by a bus? AMERI-TITS. Meat master, really. Clover- To be fair I don't think your brother's gonna be holding much from now on. I'll admit, that sheep magic is adorable. Yeah maybe somebody should step in on the guy literally about to murder his brother. Uh king dude you're really just gonna let this go down? I hate you all. Hey there Cap'n Sexy. So you're not gonna tell them that this little fucker tried to legit murder someone? Kill them all, Hisoka. Oh yeah this was a great plan. Lookin' kinda batshit crazy there, dude. Joke's on you, Wizard King has no plan and just wants to see some carnage. Kill him, Hisoka. I literally do not give half a shit about any backstory in this show. One day I'm going to die and I'll have to justify all the time I've wasted watching this show. Hero- Time for some Rowdy Boys. Aizawa is going to murder you both. THE TINY BOYS ARE SO CUTE. Kick his ass, Deku! Aizawa is pissed. Look at my tiny boys. Bakugo doesn't wear socks and that's gross considering how much he must sweat. Cry harder, bitch boy. Kick him right in the dick. This boy is so fucking angry. FUCK YEAH, EIGHT PERCENT. I love my kids. See, this is a rival fight I can actually enjoy. EAT FIST, MOTHERFUCKER. Okay Aizawa you might wanna step in before they kill each other. Hey All Might nice of you to join us. All Might is best dad. HUGGING. Well the important thing is that nobody died. You keep your goddamn mouth shut, Sparky. I love these kids. Aizawa's still mad. Ohhh, I'm into this. Punish me next, Aizawa. For the love of god somebody get Bakugo on some meds. Aww, he's not such a complete bastard after all.

None of you should be allowed within 50 feet of a kitchen.

How dare you make me read that with my own eyes.

Titan- Alright Historia you're gonna have to use him as a horse. Well this info is definitely getting out to the public now. Okay so how many of these people are actually gonna believe this wacky shit. I have no idea who this old man is. I kinda gotta agree we should have saved Erwin instead. Shut up Eren you're the worst one here. This guy with the stupid hair does make a lot of good points. On the other side of the wall is rabid dogs that will maul you to death. Congratulations, you all get your very own ugly bolo ties. Eren let go of her you're making this weird. This is going suspiciously well. Hange looks cool with the eyepatch. Birds! Oh that's looking funky. Get a haircut Eren I thought you were Mikasa. Soooo y'all are just gonna leave that thing here to creep towards the walls? Armin looks even more like a girl now with the longer hair. Okay so who here knows how to swim. Salt water. Levi could not give less of a fuck. Team effort to drown Jean back there. Alright any of y'all know how to build a boat? Man i can't wait for Sasha to discover that dish are edible. Fire Force- Spontaneous combustion is never a fun time. Oh, it's a demon. Random nun there. Wizard girl is cute. And then they died. Showoff. I'm afraid to say any of these dudes are cute because we know that never goes well when there's fire involved. Okay this OP slaps. Alright which of these men am I gonna get killed. QUIRK, you say? Titties. Me too, Maki. Ass. Boner alert. Glasses guy takes no shit. So do they only put out magic fires or regular fires too. This flashback seems familiar. Oh, she exploded. Yes the capri fire pants are practical but they look dumb as shit. I'm gonna get that buff unpowered leader dude burned to death aren't I? Sorry about your wife, buddy. I AM HERE. Time for some PTSD. Oh yeah this guy is definitely going to die. Ouch. Okay no way is his missing brother dead. Wake up bitch we got shit to do. Let me AXE you a question. Deku would approve. I do not hate this main character as much as I expected to. Ass. Lupin- Aw crap who died. Noooo oooone shakes like Gaston, takes back fakes like Gaston. What's in the book is it Fujiko nudes? Oh, I guess a fancy old book is good too. HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO FUJIKO. Oh my god. Lupin definitely had to suck a dick for those eye and fingerprint scans. Yup that's Picasso alright. Aww that's sweet of grandpa. I'm kinda rooting for these homo Euro-FBI agents. Mole. Yes go into the hidden crime basement with this guy. Is it just me or does this guy also sound exactly like Gaston. Run faster! PLANT. And this guy learns the most important rule, never bring a gun to a gun fight with Jigen. Check his phone for nudes. This episode is just 75% gruff old man voices. Aw hell they're all in on it. Lupin wears a wig, confirmed. POCKET LIGHT, SHA SHA. Hmmmmm. Howdy there, big nose. Haaa, it's a Jigen. Dude definitely shit his pants right there. Background titties. Oooh, that's juicy. Maybe he just really wanted his grandson's painting back. Aw crap Gaston is dead isn't he. DANGIT. Wait what. Oh it's a cliffhanger. Food Wars- CAW. Well that place is definitely haunted. What the fuck. I can respect this old woman who hates all the children. What kind of shit dorm makes you do a bonus exam to live on campus? Read your goddamn paperwork you bastard. That sounds disgusting. And here's an old lady having an orgasm over canned fish. Please tell me he used up all the squid and we don't have to see the weird tentacle hentai moments anymore. Dang, granny was a looker. GET IT, GRANNY. This is getting weird. Rubber duck is best character. Oh goddammit. I hope his dad is having a better time than this. Oh what the fuck. I'm going to hate all these kids. Oh shut up. Have some moonshine, bitch boy. Hoot hoot motherfucker. That sounds like an awful form of school organization. What kind of Dr Seuss method of communication is this. Oh, that's creepy. Oh yeah they're definitely just drinking juice. Okay the Bros are by far the most tolerable kids in this show. If you pull out squid I'm gonna fucking kill you. SON OF A BITCH. Ass. Oh my god put some clothes on before you cook, that's disgusting. There's definitely pubes in that fish now. I'm so tired. Clover- I hate you all. Why has the sister fucker not been violently executed yet. His hair looks awful. Charmy continues to be the single bright spot in this arc. Yami took one look at these shenanigans and fucked off to get drunk. Jesus christ Yami get some more fiber in your diet. Maybe I'll luck out and they'll all kill each other. I agree, he sucks and his brother objectively superior to him. She's cute and she looks like she doesn't talk much, I can fuck with that. Oh honey, have some standards. Between the two of them they make a whole Todoroki. You have fire you dumb bastard. It's a tracker you stupid idiot. I hate everything. Aaand he's crazy. Okay being able to change the weather is so much cooler. Okay so he's definitely evil and maybe somebody should step in here. You lost, you failure. Sooo we're just not gonna do anything about this guy being possessed by the devil? Oh hey, somebody finally noticed this shit ain't right. Hero- I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. Yaaay all my kids passed! Yeah windyboy no shit you failed after that. They both kinda earned that failure. EXTREME BOW. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Bakugo failed too. Go away Mineta. Iida is here to keep the class gremlin in line. They let them continue just to see how this was gonna play out. Oh sweet now they can jump into back alley knife fights without getting in trouble. Bakugo's so fucking angry. Welcome to summer school, kiddos. Now let that man take a nap. Awwwwwwww. Aizawa I am begging you to get me her number. At least he apologized. OH FUCK that's not who that is. Whelp, she got his blood. No don't talk to him. Just shoot him. Aww look at Small Might in that costume. How can you even see him you eyeless fuck? All for One is the woooorst. Fuck you and your overdramatic opera music. Well yeah, everyone knows that everybody hates Endeavor. So I guess her power is shapeshifting via blood. Turn off his oxygen and see how much gloating he can do. If Fuckhands even looks at my son I will kill him myself. Don't fuck with All Might. AWWWWWWWW. Heeee he's saved as "Young Midoriya" in his phone. Oh look, Bakugo's angry. Dammit boy this is why you weren't supposed to say anything! Oh my god they were so cute. To be fair, you didn't fail because of your quirk you failed because of your personality. Aw fuck he figured it out. Hey don't call her an old cat lady. KICK HIS ASS.

Endeavor is such a shitty dad that he's out here traumatizing kids that aren't even his.

The fat woman is named Angel, which is obviously this series just going out of its way to insult me now. Titan- Eren, huh. I agree with Grisha, he sucks. I beat the shit out of you as a child and let your sister die so that you'd hate things enough. Oh, that's traumatic. Ya gotta eat him. Wait what they only get 13 years? To be fair, that's longer than most other people are gonna live here. Okay how does this baby thing work. Well you're just a little bitch here aren't you, Grisha? ATTACK on TITAN. Hange's the real MVP here. Mikasa's looking rough. Levi gives zero fucks. Hi lesbians! Awwwwww. Just let the girlfriends be happy, show. Oh, that's different. Sasha's okay, the show is allowed to continue. Remember when the show was just about fighting giant monsters? This show got weird. I like that everyone just sees Eren acting wacky and just goes "Eh, puberty." Ya gotta get in there and fuck like a machine, my dude. Uh wait what. Lupin- Aww he has a fanboy. This dude is dumb as shit. Random pick jacket Lupin. Burn. I'm confused at how this works. Oh man I'd crack that safe in a heartbeat. It seems like the obvious answer is just to throw a dead squirrel or something in the brain chair. Hiiii Fujiko's boobs. That's some expensive coffee. Just stare at Fujiko's tits for awhile and you'll stop thinking about anything else. I kinda love this dumb bastard. POCKET BOMB. Good job guys. Called it. No go with the naked Fujiko plan. Thanks for the help, Goemon. Seriously you guys just grab a dead squirrel. Poor Lupin. Good job he's too dumb to even walk. Well the important thing is you tried. Show him your boobs, Fujiko. I love this idiot. The secret is....fish. Haaaa, he just overloaded it. Whelp, he broke. Aww they lost. The moral of this story is to eat more fish, I guess. Christ Jigen just to to a dentist. Come on you can't reject the titties plan forever. Food Wars- Random hillbilly. Look on the bright side, if you get kicked out of school you don't have to be in Food Wars anymore. We get it show you have a thigh fetish, you don't have to keep reminding me. Hey, did y'all know Good Eats is coming back? God, she is terrible. Bakugo did that speech better. That sounds wildly irresponsible of your dad, dude. Is there anyone in this show who's actually likable? Random Frenchman. This guy escaped from the kitchen in Little Mermaid. How is the French accent the best performance in this show so far? Set a timer you dumb bitch. Welcome to Cutthroat Kitchen. NOT SALT. Oh my god just fail this girl for her own good. Why doesn't he wear the regular chef uniform like everyone else? Oh god here we go. That Frenchman is definitely having an orgasm. Should this girl really get a passing grade when she did literally nothing? I'm too old for this shit. Meanwhile, lesbians. Stop with the squid joke it's not funny. Clover- Just kill all of them, dime store Hisoka. Charmy is still defending that Least Terrible Character trophy. You are by far the worse sparkle boy on the block. We get it, you're a lesbian. SEXISM, YA GET IT. I continue to not care about anyone's backstory, show. This is gross. Gaaaaay. Well the dudes in this town are all useless. Thank god for the lesbian squad. You suck at baseball. I hate all of you. Why didn't you just put the transmutation circle on the rock in the first place. I agree, Asta is terrible. Oh right, Mimosa's here too. Wow they won who could have predicted that. Gee I wonder who's gonna win the fight between the main character's friend and his shitbag brother. Hero- It makes sense that they need heros to get along and work together now that All Might's out. Haaa, everyone hates Endeavor. Gang Orca does look really cool. Let's split up, gang! Thanks, tall Deku. Aw shit I guess whales are immune to vibrations. Hey Todoroki. Hey windy boy. I like Dark Shadow saving a bunch of bystanders at once. I assume Bakugo's still screaming at those two civillians. Kids don't fight each other, fight the whale. GODDAMMIT KIDS. This is all Endeavor's fault. And then they have cement. Endeavor is such a shitty dad he traumatizes kids that aren't even his. That's just rude, windy boy. Sorry kiddo, daddy issues are forever. Oh my god you killed tall Deku. Windy boy is a good boy. To be fair, you're completely right to hate garbage dilf but leave Icy Hot out of this he didn't know what friends were back then. Great now you've pissed Deku off. Well boys you tried. I like these minions. Oh hey, tall Deku's alive. Oooh are they gonna learn teamwork? HELL YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS. Oh cool, he leveled up. Hey kids. Let that man sleep. Froppy leveled up! Surprise assist from Cousin It. Oh god the whale is angry. Bakugo was too busy screaming at those people to do the exam. I kinda hope Selkie and Gang Orca are friends. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess Todoroki failed. Good luck kids!

" Even sadder, ppl are still throwing money at him " That really is depressing. I wonder how long his fans will keep funding him once this is all over and he disappears from the public scene.

I fail to understand how "I don't recall" is a quality answer to who your lawyers are during a legal appointment. Like, unless it's some weird attempt to lay the groundwork for claiming they were such a terrible law firm he didn't even know who was representing him?