tsar4

You should call out some bangers and a couple cartels. That would be ultimate alpha.

This doesn't just belong in Sports either, because it is so FREAKIN' AWESOME!

Your own fault, you did exactly what it said, and I quote: "I think bedtime is going to come early tonight." by midnight

Ugh. That had to be the most unsympathetic & repulsive character it's ever been my misfortune to come across in an assigned reading. Naturally it was the teacher's favorite book. Meanwhile, I was reading Vonnegut in my spare time, unfortunately no teacher I had ever assigned him. I did, however, have a Professor in college that looked like Vonnegut's twin. "Art Appreciation", he showed the original "Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" in class (silent) and played a recording of music that I found very haunting. After class, I asked him what it was..."It's Tangerine Dream, but it's slowed waaaaaaay down". The way he said it reminded me of Prof. Jennings in "Animal House".

Whoever this is, I raise a toast to them!

What's the last thing a pubic hair hears before it hits the ground? sfx: spitting noise

And your toothbrush...and all over the house...

My Alma Mater (Northern Illinois) is playing the Utah "Utes". Every time the announcer says "Utes", I hear Fred Gwynn as Judge Chamberlain Haller, "Uh... did you say 'yutes'?" in my head. It was funny at first, but it's becoming annoying.

Just have some coffee, you'll be fine...

Thought this would be about the town in Illinois (mobbed up).

Sha-na-na-na Sha-na-na na-na ba-doo.

Trigun - come out of the closet, before Kanye puts a cap in your ass!

The guy with 2 thumbs, growning out of his forehead.

Salads -

In a town I lived in as a little kid, a new subdivision was built with fancier houses than were the norm for the town. As people bought houses & moved in, they came in to my Dad's store with checks indicating the town they lived in was the name of the subdivision, not the actual town. He argued with one customer that did this, their point was they would never live in (town's name), said in such a way that indicated it would have been beneath their dignity.

You kids & your fetishes...

Courtesy Cheech & Chong.

A police officer was staking out a well-known bar to bust some potential DWI-ers. As it neared closing time, an extremely intoxicated man stumbled out of the bar and spent 30 minutes looking for his car. When all the other drivers had left, the drunk finally located his vehicle. He spent another 20 minutes fumbling for his keys and trying to unlock his car. Finally, he got in and eventually managed to start his car. As soon as he pulled away, the police officer went after him and pulled him over, giving him the breathalizer test. It came up negative. “How could this be?” the officer sputtered. “I saw you! You were falling all over the place!” The driver grinned and said, “Tonight I’m the Designated Decoy.”