mthor

Gave a mouse a cookie, and lived to regret it.

Just blew my demented little 👞mind. And why is there a random show in my post? Edit 2: SHOE, DAMMIT!

Squeezes the Charmin, although he's not sure why.

Is the 10th dentist.

Always uses coupons and exact change, no matter how many pennies she has to dig out of the bottom of her purse.

Knows how much wood a woodchuck chucks

For two days now.

Picks the marshmallows out of Lucky Charms, throws them away, and eats the cereal.

Does both the Hanky Panky and the Hokey Pokey.

Your powers of observation are equalled only by your proficiency at basic arithmetic.

Look at it. You're backwards. You fail.

It's not only math, it's wrong. You just flunked percentages.

Has been singing "The Song That Never Ends" since 1992.

I know I'm late, but Sinbad was great in Shazaam.

Because you touch yourself at night. Duh.

If one wants to lurk, hang out, or use the restroom without buying anything, one should go to the public library.

Hey! I resent being lumped in with him!

It's so that we, too, can have catsup flavored potato chips

My kids were born in Florida, and never saw snow in real life until we had to come back up to New York for my mother's funeral. The older one was 11, the younger one was 8, and when we stopped at a reststop in PA, they got out and jumped into the disgusting slushy parking lot snow with that same look on their faces, because it was SNOW! Thanks for bringing back that memory.

See, this kind of bullshit is why my children won't let me near AI. It's easy enough to embarrass oneself as one ages; one does not need electronic assistance.

I was ready to go to sleep at 10, but I pushed until the laundry was done, and now I've got a second wind. And it's a school night, and I promised Dexter I'd get him up at 6....

There's a saint for almost every cause, even if their first job happened to be local pagan spirit.