mthor

Is optioning the movie rights to that thread.

It's probably already happened - for science.

Calls every parent he knows and says " it's 9 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?" at 4:57 AM .

Is currently pursuing a master's degree in mime.

Explain? I was hoping he'd translate.

Serenades the neighbors by playing "Dueling Banjos" on the bagpipes.

eats oatmeal with a straw.

Hankers for a hunk of cheese.

Always pays in exact change, but only with pounds, shillings, and pence (except when he visits the UK; then he uses zlotys.)

Only played Space Invaders once - he lost, so the aliens abducted him.

Is the reason the ice cream machine is always out of order.

Posts his sand castles on Zillow.

Is extremely enthusiastic about haggis, but only if it's authentic.

Once worked as a roadie for the chamber orchestra of St. Martin in The Fields.

Enters the Publishers' Clearing House Sweepstakes every year without fail, using a different alias each time.

Hands runners tapioca pudding during marathons. Just tapioca pudding; no container.

I didn't get into a really comfortable place in my head or heart until I was in my forties. Part of it was getting a decent psychiatrist, and part of it was developing some perspective and figuring out what was actually possible. No advice, really, just an observation. Forty isn't the end, but it is a good time to reevaluate.

makes eggless souffles - her favorite is cheese-banana.

Cheats at Scrabble.

Aspires to be the Johnny Appleseed of prunes.

🎉🎂🍻

New York gets everything except volcanoes. Blizzards, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes...we've got it all.

Today? Where've you been? We were getting 50 mph on and off all last week, too. I've lost five pounds just chasing the trash cans around the neighborhood.

Handcuffs skeletons.

🍻🎸🎂🎉