Just naming random balloon sizes could also work, and It'll probably confuse the heck outta them as well.
"24 inches when fully inflated, but I can push it to 29 or 30."
Oh no... one should never try to use a balloon like a condom for fucking people. It's almost guaranteed to slide off during.
You don't need a condom to fuck balloons. It just makes things less messy... and it lets you enjoy one balloon multiple times without being unhygienic.
I mean what?