Poof

if you select woman it automatically chooses to "Receive bids on dates"

Get reimbursed for the time and effort it takes to prepare for a date.

I know it seems counterintuitive, but it'll work. You have to not care. Guys who don't do this get that look in their eye when you're around like "Omg it's you, let me touch" And it's painfully obvious that they're only trying to talk to you to get inside your body.

Dane Cook?

I know it's not me. I don't wear glasses.

Ugh Dane Cringe

No I knew you didn't mean that. I just meant if HE doesn't quit, don't be surprised if he can manage to corral a group of dipshits into a room to watch him.

Well the whole "don't quit and you'll make it" spiel I said before is a double edged sword. If this guy keeps at it, there's a good chance he'll find a niche. A niche full of terrible people who may or may not have survived a cerebral hemorrhage in the past.

People like jeff dunham. I wouldn't rule this guy's success out just yet

Bottom line just treat her like a girl who has already friendzoned you. Whether you think you have a chance or not, pretend all that will ever be is friends. Believe it to the core of your being.

I'm grand duchess of drinking water

it did

It was me. Just testing the perimeter first

Walmart sells caviar. Sounds elitist to me

Naraku hates dollar stores bc he hates the poor

Me too plz

Ask her what's wrong you corporate drone

But I want to anger the innernet

Yes. It's my burden to bear

You have to appreciate the simple things in life

Maybe later

Mmmmm yes. My dream is to have a youtube channel where I feed cats to piranhas

Need engaging email creative?

I am calling FBI

We've been over this you son of a bitch