GuyBeardmane

What say you?

I would like this one but then you'd be uneven again.

Layla and Ebony demand cuddles with their breakfast.

Layla picked me, so I had to bring her home. I am their favorite chew toy. Ebony tries to nurse on my fingers and Layla just likes to chew on my hands and beard.

I have two baby puppies, but I will not create accounts for them. They can't even understand English.

Is it Dumbledore's Army?

D'ohs nuts!

These spoiled buttholes woke me up at 2:15 this morning and wanted to be held. So I did it and they fell asleep in my arms.

It's a date.

No, not kidnapped. It was Black Friday. BOGO, except they were both free.

Got bottles and puppy formula. They home now. Layla and Ebony. Layla is a cuddle monster.

Is it true that you gain the strength and courage from the hearts of the people you eat?

She was such a sweetie. Just cuddled up and fell asleep in my arms and I just pet on her. She woke up and gave me some puppy kisses and went right back to sleep. She's not quite old enough to take home, but apparently after I left my friend informed me that Layla came out of the laundry room and started whining and crying because I wasn't there. Felt so bad. I should have everything at home ready for puppies by Tuesday.

Did you get the giggle chills?

I had the most basic of cable. Wasn't until college I could flip the TV to channel 99 and get Playboy Channel in static.

When I was a kid all I had was scrambled softcore porn, until my dad got Showtime, Cinemax, and HBO. You have no idea how disappointing it was to see the TV-MA warning come up with strong sexual content and nudity, and then it turned out to be Oz instead of Erotic Confessions.

My school didn't have a prom. We had a Winter Formal. My senior year it fell on the same night as the XFL Championship game, so I stayed home and watched that.

By law I am required to reply to this comment flirtatiously. Ay gurl how YOU doin 😘

I doubt I've smoked over a hundred. I am a very infrequent smoker.

I don't believe you. You'll have to prove it.

She could be. If she grows up into a luck dragon, I will be okay with this.

Just good genetics, mostly. That and weekly scalp massage and facials keep me looking my best.

This is Layla. She cuddled up and slept on me. She's gonna be my puppy.