death_by_motorboat

awkward.

your phone is a sub

Osama been wankin'

and youre sitting on the floor. and youre sitting like youve never sat before.

oh yeah i thought we were talking about sheetz and wawa not subway... forgot whoops. wawa just plain and simple has better food than sheetz

then im on the wawa team

oh. shit then

sheetz has espresso

it a tiny camera in the pupil of a mans eye, whos buried in the sand

its over 9000, over 9000, over 9000, which equals, over NINE THOUSAND!!

(nice fresh new sig)

lyfe, yo, disses surious bidness

nah, phillies, with you the safety is always on.

ate?

one time a girl touched my weewee but i reported her to the cops

its cheese. did i baffle you?

because i did and there isnt a lot of luck to go around

yeah. i mean no.

in soviet russia drugs quit you

it was the first time anyone noticed us together, like an occasion or "date"

no i was joking. it wasnt literally the first date man. but it was the first family thing is what i meant

yes we are married legally, we lived together from 2004-2009 and spent every single day together she sort of lost her mind, and had serious delusions and alcoholism upwards of 4-8 40oz malt liquors a day. she left me, on her own choice, and thats what i really needed to know to get over her. she was committed in nevada, a cop told me about it

the visit to the nursing home, the day she died was weird.