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lmao, ok Are you generally against washing your hands or is this specifically a post jerk off policy? Like is it part of what gets you off? Walking around afterward with dickhands?

wait, that's the reason why.... Lets say you had all the time in the world, what then?

I had a funny conversation recently. I need more data. Which one is it guys? Do you prefer to jerk off/receive a hand job dry or lubed?

It depends on how you feel about coming down with a sudden case of broken legs. Listen here you, that's Sponges' thing, ok. You can't just go around stealing people's shticks! Keeping this boat afloat is dependent on the remains of this pirate crew doing the jobs assigned to them. How would you feel if I suddenly started talking about getting a big dick and never, absolutely never, using it?

I hadn't thought about that. I was simply trying to make every aspect as analogous as possible. Looking at it now, I see that it can go both ways depending on how you took it. So the answer is really up to you.

- "What if he sets the whole car on fire AND THEN gets in to talk to the guy?" - "Inside a burning car?" - "yeah" - "he's going to question this guy inside a box of flames?" - "yeah" - "what's your name?" - "it's..." - "It doesn't matter. We'll probably have to change it. Here's a bag of money. Welcome to hollywood."

He looks like he regrets ever leaving Buckingham Palace.

I knew I hit pay dirt the moment that line popped into my head.

That's 'cause I always carry some with me. Not in a bottle or anything. I pour some in my pocket for easy dipping access. Don't worry, i'm not stingy, I'll share.

We've only got the podcast studio for an hour, then my mom has to do laundry.

Doom is. Your nips are a golf tournament played by rich men and Charlize Theron represents every girl that Doom walked away from without declaring his love/like.

How do you know where I work?

We got a problem, chief?

How long have you been a fan? I mean, you know I know him right? To be honest I didn't even know he made movies, he's just ol' Davie to me and the fellas. You want I should introduce you?

Happy Birthday, Vamped. Another year of living among the mortals. Another year spent without feasting on their warm juices. Your 20 year chip is in the mail. We here at vampires anonymous congratulate you on your sobriety and wish you a happy 385th birthday. You don't look a day over 180.

Listen to this man. He knows his business. You've got nipple questions, he's got nipple answers. Now he's going to need accurate information. Measurements, shape, color, temperature, and so on and so forth. Take it away, Doom. Do your thing. This is like that movie where you're a talented young Matt Damon and i'm your magical black friend Will Smith and I get you to believe in yourself.

Why would that be us? It's not funny, it's not porn, what did I just watch? I mean, we could do way better than this. Meet me downtown with four plungers, two pillows, a watermelon, and a fat chicken

Was that guy a comedian? I can't remember

That's not bad advice. Just approach it like a company with a product. Run ads in front of as many eyes as possible and let the customer come to me.

I wasn't aware you could have an onlyfans without feet and hole....I thought it was included in the sign up agreement

You want me to sell something I can't even give away?

you don't have a clip store at all? that's just financially irresponsible I mean I know librarians that have a Manyvids account....let her know @mthor

The real question is why aren't you on OnlyFans.....from what I hear, it's a gold mine

When I thought of this bit at three in the morning I actually started taking pics for each one of those scenarios. I gave up after the shower pic. I was just laughing like a mad man at the scene. Me, phone in hand, pretending to take a shower for a SFW pic that I can post. Yet still, for some reason, completely naked.

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