Mix

You can't just tell women to be topless when their husband gets home and expect to get your Home Economics book published. At least not in the 1950's. It was a classier time.

I copied that straight out of a Hallmark card. If I am to be chastised for anything, it is trusting the soulless greeting card industry to convey felicitations. I actually bought the card to give to my grandma. Which i'm still going to do because she can't read English. I'll just tell her it's a quote from the bible. It's her favorite book.

Happy birthday It's the same every year maybe switch it up celebrate this one with fear be bewildered or awestruck anything new will do 'cause this happy shit is getting old and so are you

A man yelled this at me on the subway. I ignored him as I try to do with most of existence during morning hours, but now I regret it. I see him now for what he truly was. An old wise man trying to impart the knowledge of the ancestors. If only I could decipher the second part of his message, "fo' I stab yo ass." I am not worthy.

Happy birthday

Phuck Yew Jr.

The gods sent birds to teach man about the beauty of song. Every morning is a concert. Every performance a masterpiece.

That would be an awesome story though. ER, Fire Department, Diamond Saw, and your cock (which has a ring on it for some reason that I don't understand because i'm a virgin) I'd be telling that story everywhere. It would sound even crazier when I told it drunk. "...and the firemen brought me a diamond ring for my cock saw..."

I don't think I ever watched this whole video before. They walk off to fight. No one does anything. He hits the kid. No one does anything. The kid starts winning. Everyone steps in.

don't none of this matter

vampire is more likely, right? Zombies can't do magic. They're always talking about the blood of christ. Also, check out pics of dracula and jesus.....come on....dracula is just manscaped Jesus

dude has gates made of pearls, bruv

...been so angry, yet self aware, that you patiently waited for a teenager to turn eighteen because you wanted the police report to state that you assaulted a grown man?

I...did not know what passover was Religion is so weird

Has no one watched G.I. Jane? The joke was about Jada starring in a sequel to a movie about a beautiful woman who surpassed the limits imposed on her by...(evil theme music)....MEN That joke was not only complementary, it was feminist @DragonSinger. Alright, now I have to get out of here before she comes back. Let me know when it's safe @scoobdog What? I can't hear you? What do you mean she's right behind m...💀

Fuck those people. You're in Egypt now having the time of your life. You had the last laugh.....or laugh cry...whichever you prefer.

When asked about the role, Smith said, "I was prepping for suicide squad before I got replaced and they said I could use the same outfit, so it's pretty much going to be the same character in a different setting."

"It's a bit on the nose" - Hollywood Reporter "Who were the other options?" - SALON "Why would you announce it before you called me, Jean. I found out when Will Smith slapped the shit out of me. Idk, I guess it's his thing now. Jean, this is the worst time for me to play an assassin." - Alec Baldwin

"I told you I was spanish," Hilaria yelled to an ultrasound tech who she mistook for paparazzi

I've seen it at school and at work. That person goes away for a while, no one ever wants to talk about where, for some reason. They come back the next semester or the next year and everyone pretends like i'm the weird one for staring. I wasn't paying attention before. Shit went down. No one talked about it. So now i'm keeping my eye on this muffukka. Breakdowns seem like these odd hall passes for not being able to handle your shit. It's always when i'm in those strained periods in life that I think about these people and wonder if it's my turn. I always check in with my brain just to make sure, but for some reason it never wants to fold. - "Hey, you think, maybe, this is it?" - "Nah, nigga. Keep it movin'." - "Really? Are you at least going to help?" - "What do you think i'm doing? Your bitch ass is talking about folding and i'm bossin' up for the both of us." - "I meant, I could use some ideas." - "Nah, nigga. You steer the ship, I keep it afloat. That's the division of labour that's got us this far." - "We're in jail." - "That's on you. We're not in the psych ward, that's me holding up my end. Now stop talking to yourself before you screw that up too."

Will Smith will never not be a role model.

Now all that's left is the announcement of his new book. The Smith Path: Open Mind, Open Marriage, Open Hand