Mix

I know what i'm about, son.....a lion doesn't resemble a cougar

I have never been to a zoo, but damn it, if any lion is going to eat me it's not gonna be a pussy from the zoo

...in my dreams I sense my mind is trying to tell me something....but what could it be....nothing ties these dreams together except for these damn lions that I always seem to stumble across....

and yet prosecuting rapists has somehow eluded them....life is hilarious

I see you, big homie

When's your show coming back? GO TEAM VENTURE!!!

I used to dress up in my dad's suits when I was a kid...they still have a framed picture from when they first found me in one...I was drowning in it... attitudes shifted when I thought it'd be a good idea to dress up in my mom's stuff next....I remember it being more fun 'cause there was more to do, what with the make up and all....yuuup, no framed picture of that day >.> the moral of the story is if you are worried about your son's dress up habits, turn around, your daughter is making out with the girl next door....idiots I think i'm gonna get a kilt......to exercise in.....these gym shorts are too constrictive

We can share accounts now? I wouldn't mind sharing bucket's acct....I've been thinking a lot of highly offensive things lately, but I don't want to own my words -_-'

fair enough.... tbh, surviving the apocalypse and scratching out a living in the hellscape that follows seems like a raw deal...I forgot what comedian I heard say this, but it might be smarter to be right under the asteroid when it hits....or whatever version of the world ending comes first...

that's how you know that there's a good kid....

well that was the general idea behind all of grand da's cure all's.......hard to argue though, man lived to the ripe old age of 93.... Edit: 39 >.>

Disco's kid: "Can I open my eyes now mommy?" Disco: "No yet baby, mommy's still doing what the court mandated therapist said. Internalizing your feelings isn't good for you, remember that." Disco's kid: "ok" Disco: "Now cover your ears, mommy has to externalize her feelings verbally"

old family cure-all....get a cup and fill it with three raw eggs, a pinch of ginger, a double shot of vodka, a hit of sriracha, a dash of turmeric, a triple shot of vodka, mix with spoon and drink.... no need to thank me...

thank the panther god for my heat resistant african genes.... every summer I hear black people complaining and I just laugh inside....because if you can't stand the heat AND you don't know how to swim, I don't know how my american brothers and sisters are going to survive in water world....I'm planning on Costnering my way through global warming

haters will say that

One of god's own prototypes

teach me your ways, master

How often do you do this? Stand up or improv? I've been going to some open mic nights trying work on some bits and it's been hit or miss...I'd like to know more about this shit if you're up for a Q&A

my first thought was, "poor bunny looks lonely.....that bitch better hug that bunny..."

it's not just random things...you can get HPV from clicking on whatever