Mix

fuck these trees....I hate the holidays where's this war on christmas people keep talking about?

You're misreading a lot today....Buddy didn't say anything about a car.....he will literally teleport over there

I wear timberlands.....I have a pair just for that sole purpose

I just cut out a thick plastic lid in the shape of the key my treatment had it all....spies, ninjas, former secretary of state Madeleine Albright....it was magnificent

no no, don't try to make me feel better about this....i'm a god DAMN IDIOT! A buffoon....a nincompoop.....you know I wrote a treatment for a movie about this....I was going to sell my story to Hollywood.....I titled it Inception, but then a friend o' mine says that's already a heist movie and a pretty popular one at that.....can you believe it? You ever heard o' this flick? Is it about toilet paper? God damn idea thieving Hollywood crooks with their spies and ninjas

and again we differ.....i'm a sleep under my desk kind of person

ok, well maybe I overthought this then....I thought I was a genius molding that damn key I was telling my roommates about my great heist and everything

You're a smash and grab liquor store hold up artist and i'm Danny Ocean....that's my take away from this

There's a key to open those things....how did you do it? I made one....the original was plastic....I don't know who they thought couldn't reproduce that

these motherquackers can't deny

well, good for you @Athena 92 hats off

I.....don't even know where a bath and body works is I steal my toiletries from work, gas stations, and hotels

Hit the gym Hit the food Hit the wife Hit the Netflix JK....I don't have a wife, lol.......but that lady I hit was wearing a wedding ring.....I think.....I can't see clearly when I drive at night 'cause I hot box my car.....anyway, it wasn't even my fault, who jogs and or checks their mail box at night.....at least I think it was a mail box.....oh god, I think she was walking her dog

I'd wish for a million wishes

haha, just kidding, totally not a hitman

or i'll kill you

Also, don't call the police

ok, I read further into the thread and it seems that I misread the situation...please disregard the previous post