Mix

right propa jowke, innit

Yes.......do it Best idea you ever came up with

You're at work? And the roofs fallin' in on ya? How many signs do ya need? This is me getting a sandwich from the fridge in my own home

Nah, you were worried 'bout meh......cause ya luv meh 😝

No.....I mean I sneezed last week, but aside from that i'm fine Why, were you worried about me?

First it was Eat, Pray, Love....Now it's Eat, Drink Piss....The Indian Tourism Board is losing its touch I like that joke better.....let's go with that one....what...the speech to text is what.....SHIT!

What does cow piss taste like? I can tell you if it's anything like goat piss you're gonna want to water it down A LOT...you know what I mean

OK, so I took your advise and went looking.....and......well.......I'm on a watch list now 😔 I'm not allowed within 500 yards of an exercise bike

Uh, excuse me, madame....I don't go to the gym to work out, I go there to check out jangly booties while I sit on an exercise bike I splashed water on to make it look like I'm sweating

I can see it now.....years down the road.....as the reavers turn your body on a spit..... You: Marble rye bread is what you want. Reavers: ??? You: Especially for the thigh meat. Reavers: ??? You: I remember once when I had to settle for rye bread. Ruined everything Reavers: ??? Reaver 1: What's rye bread? Reaver 2: I think there's a guy named Ryan in the pen Reaver 1: Go make bread out of him Reaver 2: ok.........what's bread? Reaver 1: Ask him then make it out of him Reaver 2: Good plan. That's why you're reaver one. You got the brains. Reaver 1: I just wish I had some fava beans and a nice chianti to enjoy them with.

Them.wuz.the.dayz The first time I had sour diesel I thought I was time traveling

A month? I don't have a lot of experience in this area, but I'm guessing it's ova

yeah, and that something was not weed and maybe probably could possibly have you on top of a Wendy's roof showing all god's creatures your money maker simpler times, them was

this is the one situation where that's actually bad news....you can't compete with the dispensaries welp, plan B.....you're going to have to do some cam work

....what's that? oh, I don't have it? It's just him? BAD BOY! COMING OUT 2021! STARRING WILL SMITH AND........NO ONE ELSE!

I got plenty, brother.....come on over and throw back a few with me All offers subject to strict blood, urine, stool, and saliva testing. 48 hour quarantine mandatory. Strip search and cavity search mandatory. Tracking chip installation mandatory. Side effects of tracking chip may include, but are not limited to headaches, nose bleeds, sleep walking, sleep running, sleep driving, sleep cooking, sleep eating, sleep murder.

shhhh, it's not going to be long now 😢

I don't know if you have connections, but this is the time to start selling weed

never take me seriously I'm a guy who made a list of jokes as options of things to say as I lay dying I'm a guy who pretended to be deaf or blind for the entire first day of every new school I attended (5, 6 if we're counting highschool) I'm a guy who got his dick pierced for a joke.........turns out the joke was on me I'm a guy who is actually a girl.....i'm a girl.....I've been lying to you all for years.....why.....why not I'm a guy who just lied to you

memba the days when the shit was illegal and every now and then all the dealers would run out and you'd call everyone you knew like it was the end of the world simpler times, them was

i'm gonna miss you

nah, just dickin' around....

-They closed down the gyms today. I demanded they be re-opened but they hahahahahahaha jk I bought a ton o booze -I took enough liquids and herbs to insure that my body was not suitable for viral infestation -Spent thirty minutes putting pressure on my thumb because the blood moving under the nail looked like a lava lamp -Watched Natural Born Killers -Took more herbs as I was left disconcerted by the movie and thought this would help.............it didn't -Paranoid, I took a bath to sooth myself..........The walls were closing in, I thought I was going to die -took a short nap......woke up six hours later Quarantine is fun guys !