Codename: Jackass

The last word Maes Hughes heard was "dork".

I can't believe it only took eight seasons to drop this schlock.

ONE ONE OOOOOOONE OOOOOOOOONNNNNE

I was thinking more along the lines of rake, or shovel... or weed eater.

Should have chased him out of the neighborhood while waving a gardening implement.

Yes, a very sexy fruit, which is why Minions love it so. @Nabloom

I always imagined Phillies as being unhealthily underweight with stringy long hair and dirty feet.

Thanks babe.

Puppets can't hurt you, only the person controlling the puppet can hurt you.

I can't describe how much I love this song.

fuckin' A right

If I'd known karma would be the new like system, I would have started spamming other people's profiles to make the stat even more meaningless. Oh well, no use crying over spilled piss.

BABY, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.

Fuck being on my best behavior, I'm not changing my shitposting style to suit a bunch of spambots and NSA shills.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

???

I am vaguely familiar with her, I used to browse /fit/ back in 2013 when I was trying to get SWOLE AS FUARK and I just remember that she recommended eating a ludicrous amount of bananas and using them as a substitute for other foods or some shit. I think she subsists off of bananas but I don't remember.

Better question: she has to have tried shoving a banana in her hoohah on at least one occasion, right?

How many bananas does she eat every day?

I bet you're wondering how I got myself into this situation.

THROW YOUR FUCKING TRASH IN THE TRASH CAN RIGHT BEHIND YOU THE COUNTER IS NOT A TRASH RECEPTACLE. I HOPE YOU ACTUALLY DIE IN A FIRE.

I don't know whose bright idea it was to start scheduling the grocery truck at the busiest time of the busiest day of the week, but whoever they are, they should be flogged.

Fuck you and your cigarettes you old dried up bitch, your husband should have made sure they were the right ones before you left the store. I didn't sell you shit, I didn't see shit, I wasn't even there, you didn't have a receipt, we don't do returns on tobacco, and you waited two days before coming back so it obviously wasn't that urgent. I have a fucking job to do, I can't afford to lose my meager wages because I caved in. Report me, I don't give a FLYING fuck, nobody's on your side, I did what the company says, I did what my boss says, don't talk to me like it's my fault you and your husband are too stupid to tell the difference between Marlboro NXT shorts and Marlboro Black 100s when the name is RIGHT THERE ON THE FUCKING CARTON. Nothing is going to happen to me. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You lose. And no, a fucking transaction on your Capital One app is not proof that you bought the cigarettes at my store. Go get cancer away from me. Eat shit.