Codename: Jackass

GREAT PERFORMANCE

MOM GOT ME SOME HI-C! YES!

They put me in the Honors class because I burn at a college level.

#shotsfired

SUCK A BUTT DONNIE

That's a THIRD DEGREE BURN

Mom never buys me Little Hug!

Just tell 'em to SUCK A BUTT. That'll show 'em.

Only if I can switch the Juicy Juice for Capri-Sun. Pacific Cooler. I will also accept Mountain Cooler.

Make sure you drink some liquor before the interview. I mean, after you're done driving of course.

Seinwave made me cum uncontrollably until my prostate exploded.

Vaporwave makes me lol

My weird man toes. My cat's toes are great.

Don't make fun of my toes, okay?

Counter attack

Uncle Dave plays QB but he's not accurate. I took two of his floaters for a pick six last year and got a couple sacks too. Tim and Brodie can't catch for shit either. I laid Brodie out last year. He's shook af to have me at safety.

know dude, I had a fuckton, but c'est la vie.

I will literally snap cousin Tim in half on a slant route. Not in my house, weakling.

Nice

I know, which is why I pointed out the triggering.

That was a real mindfuck duder.

Fucking triggered

lol rekt dude rekt

Rated PG-13

Yeah, Uncle Dave's got a family of stick boys. I'm going to pick cousin Brody up and toss him next time he tries to rush my QB.