Codename: Jackass

How many bananas does she eat every day?

I bet you're wondering how I got myself into this situation.

THROW YOUR FUCKING TRASH IN THE TRASH CAN RIGHT BEHIND YOU THE COUNTER IS NOT A TRASH RECEPTACLE. I HOPE YOU ACTUALLY DIE IN A FIRE.

I don't know whose bright idea it was to start scheduling the grocery truck at the busiest time of the busiest day of the week, but whoever they are, they should be flogged.

Fuck you and your cigarettes you old dried up bitch, your husband should have made sure they were the right ones before you left the store. I didn't sell you shit, I didn't see shit, I wasn't even there, you didn't have a receipt, we don't do returns on tobacco, and you waited two days before coming back so it obviously wasn't that urgent. I have a fucking job to do, I can't afford to lose my meager wages because I caved in. Report me, I don't give a FLYING fuck, nobody's on your side, I did what the company says, I did what my boss says, don't talk to me like it's my fault you and your husband are too stupid to tell the difference between Marlboro NXT shorts and Marlboro Black 100s when the name is RIGHT THERE ON THE FUCKING CARTON. Nothing is going to happen to me. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal. You lose. And no, a fucking transaction on your Capital One app is not proof that you bought the cigarettes at my store. Go get cancer away from me. Eat shit.

I don't need anybody's permission to go on a feel trip.

Chinese fentanyl? I'll see you soon, Lil Peep!

Kill the spambot.

There should be a little flag on the top right of the post in question.

Reported

<_>

MOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDS!!!

I know dude. I think we should commit sudoku together.

I would say start everyone over from zero but that would imply internet points matter.

That's synthol.

Hmmm...

Thinking about rubbing one out but not sure if I actually will.

I had a dream once where I suffered from uncontrollable falling down. I stole a power drill from my workshop for some reason and my boss was really really mad. I tried to run back home while the cops chased me but kept falling down. I just couldn't stop falling down. I kept pressing the trigger on the drill instead of moving my legs. And then I don't remember.

Yeah just a Brita filter. I don't know how much use you can get out of one filter, I've never tried it, but you can get the cheap off brand filter inserts and it'll work just the same.

Anyway, let's get shitfaced and punch holes in walls. Your neighbors will be terrified.

Apparently you can run your cheapo vodka through a charcoal water filter a couple times and that'll take the edge off.

Sounds fine. I might try that some time. I'm going to buy a handle of McCormick's and like five limes and have myself a time.

Yes I will take a vodka and Sprite Zero, because I'm a basic bitch.