Codename: Jackass

POR FAVOR DE NO SACAR LOS MANOS, DE NO SACAR LOS MANOS FUERA DE LA VENTANA SO CUENTA ES MUCHAS DINERAS, LO SIENTO BUT I HAVE TO HAND IT TO YOU, YOU'RE HANDLING THIS EXTREMELY WELL AH, RUB IT ON ME... RUB IT ON ME DUANE!!!

HEY MAN SAY MAN HAVE YOU BEEN RUBBIN' YOUR NUB?

I don't like my job, I get paid shit and work retail but I'm getting promoted and will soon be working more hours. I don't know what I got myself into. Why did I say yes? Please help me.

I'm so bad that when my mom gave me $20 to buy some groceries and she told me to give her back some change, I gave her the bills but kept the coins. D E V I L I S H E V I L I S H

I'm The News.

The last word Maes Hughes heard was "dork".

I can't believe it only took eight seasons to drop this schlock.

ONE ONE OOOOOOONE OOOOOOOOONNNNNE

I was thinking more along the lines of rake, or shovel... or weed eater.

Should have chased him out of the neighborhood while waving a gardening implement.

Yes, a very sexy fruit, which is why Minions love it so. @Nabloom

I always imagined Phillies as being unhealthily underweight with stringy long hair and dirty feet.

Thanks babe.

Puppets can't hurt you, only the person controlling the puppet can hurt you.

I can't describe how much I love this song.

fuckin' A right

If I'd known karma would be the new like system, I would have started spamming other people's profiles to make the stat even more meaningless. Oh well, no use crying over spilled piss.

BABY, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT.

Fuck being on my best behavior, I'm not changing my shitposting style to suit a bunch of spambots and NSA shills.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

???

I am vaguely familiar with her, I used to browse /fit/ back in 2013 when I was trying to get SWOLE AS FUARK and I just remember that she recommended eating a ludicrous amount of bananas and using them as a substitute for other foods or some shit. I think she subsists off of bananas but I don't remember.

Better question: she has to have tried shoving a banana in her hoohah on at least one occasion, right?