Codename: Jackass

UPDATE I thought about doing my taxes. I'll put it off until later.

I'm thinking about doing my taxes now.

I really want some damn Swedish Fish right now.

I could tell you.

My plan is to live until I die.

Nothing's good enough for me. I'm gonna go live on the street in a cardboard box for a while, it'll be legit.

#rekt rekt by yourself no less

???

true, true. so it's not just me then.

Because everyone here is nuts. YOU FIT RIGHT IN

SHIT

he's thingken of life

>tfw 10 year anniversary is coming up in September

We're gonna need to add you to a homeland security watchlist now, just to be on the safe side.

Desus and Mero is funny.

I found myself just hammering jab and not moving my head enough, I couldn't string together a three-punch combo to save my life.

I just can't bother myself with self-congratulatory masturbation like industry award ceremonies. I like it, I watch it.

That comes afterward. Actually, I take that back. I went on a 0-4 slide in Fight Night after I got properly buzzed, so I might as well have put my penis in the ceiling fan. It would have been quicker.

I hold my bad feelings in until it explodes in rage. Then I cry afterward.

Forbidden love takes poison Tragedies repeat themselves in perfect circles

I don't even know what's going on most of the time, I just smile and nod and fake it, it works almost always.

Only in states with a Stand Your Ground law. So mumbo should move to Florida. Looking forward to some great Florida Man articles soon.

I think in common law, which is the law that usually governs our fine country in most civil and criminal matters, the instigator generally gets the heaviest punishment. So someone can piss you off and say shit that bothers you, but when you haul off and whack someone in the dome, you're the instigator and they're the victim. We're usually expected to act like adults even when other people refuse to do the same.