Codename: Jackass

Pepsi did it first

who is this?

Come work for me.

More like Firehose Subs, because it turns your asshole into a firehose.

tfw you start sweating as soon as you walk outside

I sleep without blanket whole summer.

I won't put my ass on a work toilet, ever. I don't want my ass cooties mixing with other people's ass cooties. It's not good. It's not right. I hate it.

tfw working manual labor outside during August

But seriously though, I've had desert dwellers passing through here saying that the humidity is intolerable. Doesn't mean I think I want to bake in 110 degree heat with a 10% relative humidity. The heat index at 4:00 this afternoon was about 107, though. We should all move somewhere that it doesn't go above 80 during summer. We can take our towns and push them somewhere else.

Should have worked harder and made something of yourself, pinko scum.

Did you imagine the final sound as a gun?

Big butt so what

I've wanted to try it out of morbid curiosity, but I don't like giving AB-InBev my hard-earned money.

Found something constructive, hopefully.

Freak accident with a lawn mower. He fell down and it went over his head somehow.

*steps to you again* *throws a chair across the room to show I mean business* Hey, we're not done here.

GO TO BED RIGHT NOW YOU NEED YOUR SLEEP

Alphas never cooperate. *slams a tallboy of Mickey's* *steps to you, malt liquor hanging on breath*

He was the crazy red haired man that wrote posts in German.

Ass first.

You better watch it if you're gonna step to the Alpha King.

What ever happened to that guy? Did he find a life and move on from this pit of despair?

Hmmm... Who's the first volunteer?

Remember that one episode of Futurama where all the anchovies were gone and Mom wanted Fry's can of anchovies to make robot oil because it was so precious? That's what we're going to be doing with shrimp.